Chapter 16
Courtship

Jace's lips slightly parted to speak but he pursed it again. He looked so uneasy and tensed. It seemed like he didn't even know what to do. Tila ba parang nag-iisip pa siya ng malalim at nagsimula na rin akong hindi mapalagay.

Agad akong ginapangan ng kaba. Tama ba ang ginawa kong hamunin siyang ligawan ako?

Pero ano ba, Zarina?! Dapat lang na magpaligaw ka muna. Tingnan mo kung hanggang saan ba siya tatagal. Siguraduhin mong mayroon talaga siyang nararamdaman para sa'yo. Let's be wiser even if it was already a stupid move to give him a chance in just a blink of an eye.

Bumuntong hininga naman ako at saka humalukipkip. Nakuha kong muli ang kanyang atensyon kaya naman humalukipkip na rin ako bago siya tinitigan.

"May problema ba?" Nagtaas ako ng kilay sa kanya.

He closed his eyes tightly for a second before exhaling a deep sigh. "I..." he trailed and breathed once again. "I don't know how to court a girl..."

My jaw literally dropped with his statement. Though, I shouldn't be surprised if he didn't know how to court a girl. It was not in Jace's nature to be sweet and all. He was naturally cold even to his twin. I've seen it at first hand.

"But I'll try my best to court you!" he immediately took back what he said. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you say yes."

Parang may mainit na kamay na humaplos sa aking puso nang masilayan ang determinasyon sa kanyang mga mata. Mukhang handa niyang pagsikapan na makuha ang positibong sagot galing sa akin.

"Okay," tipid kong sabi bago siya tinalikuran.

As soon as I turned my back on him, a smile that I've been hiding showed itself. Kahit pigilan ko ang sarili ko sa pagngiti ay hindi ko magawa. My heart can't even contain the happiness that I was feeling right now. It was overflowing.

I was still amazed how the pain was completely replaced with euphoria in an instant. He managed to turn everything upside down. Ganoon siya kagaling sa pagmamanipula ng aking buhay na kaya niya itong baliktarin.

I didn't know that it was possible to feel warm in winter. I can't believe that my burning love that perservered was able to melt his arctic heart.

Sino ang mag-aakala na ang isang Zarina Cashe Rivadelo ay mabibigyang pansin ni Jace Lael Sy?

I bet Elle will not even believe me right away if I'd tell her about what happened tonight. She will think that I'm just daydreaming and making up things. Well, I can't blame her if ever that will be her initial reaction. Ako mismo ay hindi makapaniwala sa nangyayari. Pakiramdam ko ay nakulong na naman ako sa isang magandang panaginip at maya-maya rin ay magigising na ako sa katotohanan na isang kathang-isip lang pala ang lahat.

He was the dream I never thought that I'd be able to reach. He was the impossible dream that became possible. He was the imagination in my reality.

Nalalapit na ako sa kanyang sasakyan na nakaparada nang mabilis akong lagpasan ni Jace upang maunahan. He opened the door for me and waited for me to settle inside his car.

Ang akala ko'y agad na siyang iikot patungo sa driver's seat ngunit nang yumuko siya upang pumasok sa loob at ayusin ang aking seatbelt ay nagwala ang aking puso na hindi man lang nakapaghanda. Sa sobrang lapit niya sa akin ay pirming dinikit ko na lamang ang aking likuran sa backrest ng upuan hanggang sa matapos siya at lumipat sa kabila.

Isang malalim na paghinga ang aking pinakawalan nang lumayo siya sa akin. Naging tahimik lamang kaming dalawa sa loob ng sasakyan habang pinapaandar niya ito.

Jace cleared his throat before he glanced at me. "Did you text Dylan that you're with me?"

He carefully stepped on the gas to accelerate the car and started to drive us on our way back to Prive.

Umiling ako. "Sandali lang naman tayong nawala," sabi ko na lang.

"I want to drive you home tonight..." he said with slight hesitation. "Can you text him that I'll just take you straight home tonight?"

Lumingon naman ako sa bintana at napapikit ng mariin bago tahimik na minura ang sarili. Huwag kang bibigay agad, Zarina!

His offer was very tempting. I wanted him to take me home tonight, but I also didn't want to be rude to Dylan. He was the one who invited me to be with him. It was already a huge disrespect to Dylan when I went out with Jace for a while and talked about us without telling him.

"No need," pagtanggi ko. "Dylan will take me home. Siya ang nagsama sa akin dito kaya siya ang dapat na mag-uwi sa akin."

Jace became silent when I rejected him. I turned to look at him to see his expression and saw that his jaw was clenching repeatedly like he was trying to control himself.

Agad din naming narating ang Prive at hindi pa naihihinto nang maayos ni Jace ang kanyang sasakyan nguit nakita ko nang papalapit sa aming gawi si Dylan.

I quickly unbuckled the seatbelt and went out of the car to show myself to him.

"Zarina!" Dylan looked so relieved when he saw me got out of the car. "Where have you been?"

Narinig ko naman ang pagbukas-sara ng pintuan bilang hudyat na lumabas si Jace mula sa kanyang sasakyan. Nadirekta sa kanya ang atensyon ni Dylan.

"Kasama ko lang si Jace," sagot ko naman. "Pasensya na kung hindi ako nakapagsabi sa'yo. Nag-alala ka ba?"

"Hell, yes, I did!" He didn't think twice. "I was looking for you all over the club. I asked Andie's girl to look for you inside the comfort room but you weren't there. Good thing that one of my friends saw you and told me that you were dragged by Jace out of the club."

Sumulyap siyang muli kay Jace at ngumiti na lamang ako sa kanya saka muling humingi ng pasensya.

"I'm sorry if I suddenly took Zarina for a ride. But don't worry, we were just around the vicinity."

I was stunned when Jace apologized to Dylan. Napalingon ako sa kanya dahil nakuha niya nang buo ang aking atensyon.

"Anyway... I'll let you take her home for tonight so please, drive safely," he told Dylan before turning to look at me. "Text me once you're home. I'll do the same."

Napalunok naman ako at hindi pa ako nakaasagot ay muli niyang nilingon si Dylan.

"Excuse me. I'm just gonna find my twin and take her home with me," paalam niya at muling tumingin sa akin para ngumiti bago pumasok sa loob ng Prive.

Silence reigned between Dylan and I while he was driving me home. He had a tight grip on his steering wheel and his eyes were focused on the road.

Gusto ko sanang kausapin siya pero mukhang hindi magandang bagay ang gawin 'yon ngayon.

I just remained quiet and still at the shotgun seat. I watched how we passed by different buildings so fast. Bumabagal lang ang pagtakbo ng kanyang sasakyan kapag may mga sasakyan na nasa harapan at hintong-hinto naman kapag nakapula ang dadaanan na stoplight.

"Thank you for the night, Dylan. Drive safely." I smiled at him before I went out of his car.

Ang akala ko'y agad na siyang aalis ngunit lumabas din siya sa kanyang sasakyan pagkalabas ko.

"Zarina, can I..." he sighed before he continued. "Can I ask you something?"

Kahit nag-aalalangan ako ay tumango ako sa kanya bilang sagot.

"I know that Jace's the architect for your project as what you've told me, but... is that all between you and him?" he asked, filled with curiousity. "Is he really just your architect?"

I bit my lower lip before shaking my head.

Mas lalong naging kuryoso ang kanyang ekspresyon nang dahil sa aking pag-iling.

"We were classmates before I went to New York. I already knew him way back," I told Dylan.

I didn't know if I should go further with deeper details about what was happening between Jace and I, especially our current situation.

He nodded like he finally understood something and smiled at me.

"That's all I have to ask," he said. "I'll go home now. Sleep tight."

Ngumiti naman ako sa kanya. "Ingat ka."

I was glad that Dylan and I were okay as we ended the night together. I didn't like the feeling when he was silent earlier. Pakiramdam ko ay may tinitimpi siyang galit sa akin at ayaw ko no'n. I didn't want anyone to feel bad because of me. Gusto ko ay ayos lang ang lahat.

"Where have you been?"

Halos atakihin ako sa puso nang biglang magsalita si daddy pagkapasok ko ng bahay. Hindi ko alam na nandito pala siya sa aming tanggapan.

"Sa may BGC lang po," sabi ko bago lumapit upang halikan siya sa pisngi. "Hindi pa po kayo matutulog?"

"How can I sleep if you're still not home?" he asked me. "You didn't even tell me that you have plans of going out tonight."

"Hindi po ba sinabi sa inyo ni mommy, dad?" tanong ko. "Nagpaalam po ako sa kanya at pinayagan niya po ako. Kasama ko naman po si Dylan."

Nagkasalubong naman ang kilay ni daddy nang marinig ang pangalan ni Dylan. I can tell that he really didn't like him. Maybe it was because my mom's almost throwing me to him, and he didn't want that to happen.

"Are you really serious with that man, Zarina?" He crossed his arms.

I chuckled because he was being too protective of me by probing questions like this. "Daddy, you don't have to worry. Dylan's a good man. I can tell that he is."

"How sure are you that he's really a good man?" Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin. "Kailan lang kayo nagkakilala? Don't be too gullible, my princess. We still can't be so sure of anything. Well, I know that you're trying to get to know each other as what your mother told me, but I want you to be smart on this one."

Drowning into thoughts because of his words, I realized that I was really being gullible. Mabilis akong magtiwala sa tao lalo na kung pinapakitaan mo ako ng mabuti at hindi dapat ganoon.

Gullible individuals are the ones who are often taken for granted. I didn't want to be like them.

Tinapik naman ni daddy ang aking balikat at saka ngumiti. "Umakyat ka na sa kwarto mo at magpahinga. Matutulog na rin ako maya-maya."

Tumango na lamang ako kay daddy bago umakyat sa aking kwarto. Tahimik akong umupo sa aking kama nang tumunog ang aking cellphone para sa isang mensahe.

I took my phone out of the bag and saw that Jace just sent me a message.

Jace Sy:
I'm home now. How about you? Please reply.

I bit my lower lip and stared at his message.

My heart ached thinking what if he was just taking me for granted? Alam na alam niyang sa kanya ako at mahal ko siya kaya nagagawa niyang manipulahin ang mga desisyon ko. His pride and ego wouldn't let me like another man aside from him.

Mali ba ang pagbigyan ko ang sarili kong sumugal ulit sa kanya? Pagdating kasi kay Jace ay parang ang sarap magpakatanga para lang mabigyan ng kanyang atensyon.

Ayoko na sanang ipagpatuloy pa 'to pero ngayon lang ako nabigyan ng pagkakataon na mabigyan niya ng pansin. Simula pa noong nasa high school kami ay pinapangarap ko na 'to. Sinukuan ko man ang pangarap na 'yon pero muli itong sumiklab dahil nabigyan ako ng pag-asa na mas makalapit pa para tuluyan na itong maabot.

Muntik ko nang mabitawan ang aking cellphone nang bigla itong tumunog dahil sa tawag galing kay Jace.

I smiled while staring at his name printed on my screen.

This was my dream. He was my ultimate dream.

Huminga naman ako ng malalim bago napagdesiyunang sagutin ang kanyang tawag. "Hello..." mahinahon kong pagsagot.

Jace remained quiet on the other line even if I already answered his call. All I can hear was his heavy breathing.

"Jace?" I called him out. "Bakit ka tumawag?"

I could've just ended the call already while he let silence answered me, but I still waited for him and he didn't fail me as he spoke up after releasing a deep breath.

"You didn't reply to my message," he told me.

Napangiti naman ako bago humiga sa aking kama. Pinaglaruan ko ang iilang hibla ng aking buhok habang kausap siya.

"Kakabasa ko lang," dahilan ko.

"Uhuh..." His voice sounded husky. "Well, are you home already?"

"I am," I answered. "Nandito na ako sa kwarto ko."

Muli namang nanaig ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. Kahit na ganoon ay ayos lang sa akin basta alam kong siya ang aking katawagan

"Hmm... Ang akala ko ay babalik ka pa ng Prive. Umuwi ka rin pala agad," sabi ko.

"Hinanap ko lang si Liana para makauwi na kami," sabi niya naman.

Ngumuso ako bago dumapa sa aking kama. "Paano naman si Isha?" tanong ko. "Iniwan ninyo siya roon sa Prive?"

"She also went home already. She brought her car that's why I didn't have to drive her home," he explained.

Tumango-tango naman ako at muling bumalik ang aking pangamba.

Sa mga nakalipas na taon habang wala ako at si Isha ang nasa kanyang tabi, hindi man lang ba siya nahulog sa kanya? Wala man lang ba siyang naramdaman para sa kababata niya?

I was so curious but I didn't want to ask him about it. I didn't want to look paranoid about his relationship with Isha. Ang mga pag-iisip ko lang naman ang gumagawa ng p-problemahin ko kahit wala namang dahilan para mamroblema ako dahil nalinaw na sa akin ni Jace ang namamagitan sa kanila ni Isha.

She was just his best friend. His childhood friend! They were nothing more than that. That was the thought I should hold on to.

I slept with a goodnight message from Jace when we ended our call and I woke up with a morning message from him as well.

Jace Sy:
Good morning, beautiful! Did you have a nice sleep?

I can't help but to chuckle at his message. You can see that he was really trying hard to do these things that he doesn't usually do.

Bahagya naman akong nakonsensya dahil sinusubukan niyang maging iba para lang mangyari ang gusto ko. He was already losing himself just to court me.

I admitted that I also like him doing these sweet simple things for me but to be honest, he didn't have to try so hard. He can just stand in front of me all the time and he will still not fail in making me fall all over again.

Napakunot ang aking noo nang bumungad sa aking pandinig ang paghalakhak ni daddy galing sa dining room. Napabilis ang aking paglalakad patungo sa dining room upang makita ang kaganapan doon.

At the dining table, I saw Jace chatting with my dad about trivial things, while my mom was quietly eating her breakfast.

Kung kahapon ay si mommy ang masaya at si daddy ang tahimik dahil nandito si Dylan, ngayon ay kabaliktaran ang nangyari dahil si Jace naman ang nandito.

Napaangat naman ng tingin si daddy sa akin at umaliwalas ang kanyang ekspresyon nang makita ako.

"Zarina, look! Jace is here to join us for breakfast. Ihahatid ka rin daw niya papasok sa opisina," masayang pambungad ni daddy sa akin.

Jace turned to me with a smile on his face. "Good morning," he greeted me so casually but it caused my heart to skip a beat.

His smile can make my heart beat abnormally.

Isang ngiti na lang din ang ginawad ko sa kanya bago lumapit sa aking mga magulang para halikan sila sa kanilang pisngi bilang pagbati sa umaga.

Mom looked like she was in a very bad mood while dad's completely the opposite.

Umupo naman ako sa tabi ni Jace kung saan ang aking talagang puwesto sa hapagkainan.

"Uhm... Mom told me to bring you some Belgian waffles that she cooked earlier for Liana who was having menstrual cramps," he said and placed a plastic container with three pieces of Belgian waffles inside.

Napatitig naman ako sa mga waffles na kanyang dala. Hindi ako makapaniwalang pinadalhan ako ng kanyang ina ng pagkain. I haven't met his mother yet but to receive a food that she cooked herself made me so happy.

"Pakisabi sa mommy mo na maraming salamat," punong-puno ako ng kagalakan.

Hindi ko na masyadong pinagtuonan ng pansin ang umagahan na nakahanda sa hapag kainan at tanging ang waffles lamang na ginawa ng kanyang ina ang aking kinain. Just by how these waffles were made, I could tell that his mom's a good cook.

I think I should cook something for her as well in return for her kindness.

"Ano ang paboritong pagkain ng mommy mo?" I asked Jace when we were already settled inside his car.

"Hmm..." he hummed as he thinks. "She doesn't have any specific food that she likes as of now... Why'd you asked?"

"Gusto ko lang sana na lutuan din ang mommy mo ng paborito niyang pagkain bilang pasasalamat. Nakakahiya kasi," sabi ko naman.

"You don't have to do that, Zarina," he said. "But if you really want to make it up to her, you can just accept her invitation that she also asked me to pass onto you."

Napakunot naman ang aking noo at saka lumingon sa kanya. "Ano naman 'yon?'

"My mom actually wants to meet you," he told me, and my heart began beating crazily because of nervousness that suddenly bolted in. "She told me to bring you home, but I told her that I'm still courting you. You might not agree to come home with me."

Well, I think it's not a bad thing to meet his mom, right? Gusto ko lang talagang makabawi sa kabaitan ng mommy niya.

"Uh... Kailan ba?" nag-aalangan kong tanong kay Jace.

He took a quick glance at me and stopped himself from smiling even though the corners of his lips were lifiting up.

"Tomorrow night," he said. "If it's okay with you."

Kinagat ko naman ang aking ibabang labi bago tumango at sumagot. "Sabihin mo sa kanya ay pupunta ako."

"Okay... Great!" he exclaimed.

He finally can't stop himself from smiling when I agreed.

"Weh?"

I asked Elle to come to my office because I have something important to tell her and that was her reaction when I told her that Jace's already courting me.

I already predicted and expected this kind of reaction from her. She will not believe me right away.

"You asked me to come here in the morning to tell me your last night's dream?" She almost rolled her eyes on me.

With full of determination to make her believe me, I stood up from my swivel chair and sat beside her on the couch.

"I swear that it's not just a dream!" I sternly said. "Well... to be honest, I thought it was just a dream to be courted by Jace, but it's not!"

Her brows shot up as she crossed her arms while staring at me.

"Oh, sige," sabi ni Elle. "Sabihin na nating nililigawan ka na niya. Sige! Nililigawan ka na ni Jace. Ang tanong, alam ba niya?"

I irritatingly stared at her. "He knows."

"Talaga ba?" Hindi pa rin siya naniniwala sa akin.

"Oo nga!" sabi ko.

"Gusto ko lang makasigurado, Zarina," katwiran niya. "Kung hindi kasi panaginip ang panliligaw sa'yo ni Jace, mamaya ay baka naman ikaw lang ang nag-iisip na nililigawan ka niya pero hindi naman pala. Mas maganda nang sigurado tayo."

"Totoo nga kasi, Elle! Hindi naman ako ganoon katanga para isipin na nililigawan niya ako pero hindi naman pala," sabi ko naman.

Natawa naman si Elle sa akin. "Well, first of all, Zarina. Pasensya na kung medyo ma-offend ka pero alam naman nating dalawa na pagdating kay Jace ay nagiging tanga ka talaga. I'm just being frank here. Alam ko ring alam mo 'yan sa sarili mo," pangaral niya sa akin.

Isang malalim na paghinga ang aking pinakawalan. "Alam ko naman 'yon..." sabi ko. "But this time, I'm not just daydreaming or plainly being stupid by twisting things around. Hindi rin naman kita masisi na hindi ka naniniwala sa akin dahil kahit ako mismo ay hindi makapaniwala nang umamin siya sa akin kagabi."

Nilingon kong muli si Elle at kita kong tahimik lang siyang nakikinig sa akin.

Out of all the people in this world, Elle was the one who knew how crazy I was for Jace. Mula pa lang noong high school kami ay sinusubukan niya nang buksan ang aking mga mata patungkol sa nararamdaman ko kay Jace. Lagi niya akong pinagsasabihan kapag sumosobra na ako. Pinapatigil kapag nakikitang nasasaktan na ako.

She knew that for me, Jace was like a star that I can never reach. Na kahit ipagpalit ko ang buwan para sa bituin ay hindi ko pa rin siya makukuha.

"Alam mo namang sumuko na ako sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, e. You know that I was already moving on and giving Dylan a chance. Pero, Elle, si Jace 'yon, e. Noong sinabi niyang may nararamdaman siya para sa akin... kahit takot na akong sumugal ulit at masaktan, ginawa ko pa rin," sabi ko. "I gave him a second chance to come into my life again. This is also my last chance in loving him. Kung natapos man ito nang hindi maganda, pinapangako kong hindi na talaga ako uulit pa."

Elle sighed before a smile appeared on her lips. She turned to me, and I can see that she was genuinely happy for me.

"He really is courting you now..." She finally believed me. "I'm scared with how things might end for the both of you but above it, I'm very happy for you. I truly am."

Napangiti naman ako at hinawakan niya ang aking kamay.

"Finally, huh? Your dreams finally came true," she said. "Who would've thought, right?"

I chuckled and withdrew my hand from her hold. She just laughed to tease me more.

Elle made me tell more about how Jace courts me. She even wanted me to be detailed of what happened last. She also can't imagine Jace acting sweet. I even let her read Jace's text messages from last night and this morning.

Natigil naman ang aming pag-uusap nang makarinig ng iilang katok sa pintuan bago ito tuluyang bumukas at iniluwala si Jace na may dala-dalang pagkain.

"Speaking of..." Elle whispered and elbowed me.

I stood up form the couch and went to Jace. Napatingin ito kay Elle at muli ko na namang nakita ang kanyang mukha na walang emosyon.

"Jace..." I called his attention.

When he turned to me, he gave me a smile before showing me the foods he brought.

"I brought you some lunch," he told me and walked at the center table to place it there. "Afternoon, Abrielle," he casually greeted my best friend.

"Uh... good afternoon, Jace," nag-aalangang pagbati ng kaibigan at lumingon sa akin para bigyan ako ng mapang-inis na ngiti.

I just showed her a sign to stay quiet, and she immediately pursed her lips before getting her shoulder bag. She stood up and fixed the hem of her dress.

"Well, I better get going now," biglaan niyang paalam.

Kanina ay wala naman siyang planong umalis at balak pa nga naming maglunch sa labas.

"Maiwan ko na kayong dalawa," sabi niya at saka lumapit sa akin upang humalik sa aking pisngi. "Galingan mo, Za..." bulong niya sa akin.

Inirapan ko na siya at natawa na lamang siya bago lumabas ng aking opisina para maiwan kaming dalawa ni Jace upang kumain ng tanghalian.

Lumapit naman ako kay Jace na seryosong inaayos ang pagkain sa table.

"Hindi ka na dapat nag-abala pang dalhan ako ng pagkain. Hindi naman kailangan niyan..." nahihiya kong sabi bago umupo sa couch.

He stopped from preparing the food and looked at me with.

"Mali ba ang ginagawa ko?" tanong niya sa akin.

"Ha?" I was dumbfounded because of his question.

"Shouldn't I be bringing you food to eat?" he asked. "I asked Liana hwo to court a girl and she told me to do these things since I don't trust Google enough. Is it wrong?"

My lips slightly parted to see him very clueless. He even asked his twin about courtship and even tried to consider Google in helping him court me.

"I'm sorry..." he suddenly apologized. "Let me start again."

I felt my heart being clenched by a fist while seeing him trying his best. He was trying so hard to be someone that he's not.

Going against my plan to make him suffer, I freed myself from the chains that I put around me in order to allow myself to give him an embrace. I was able to feel that he was very tensed earlier when I sensed his body relaxed as soon as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Just be yourself, Jace..." I whispered to him. "I want you to just be yourself."