3rd P.O.V.

It was normal day at France, birds chirping, smell of fresh bake bread... everything seems to be calm at first until the sound of engine roaring from a distance. A man riding a motorcycle is seen speeding off through the streets of France trying to get away from someone as we the see who's chasing after him. That being Lana and Archer driving a miniature car with Y/n riding a motorcycle and following after them.  While they're chasing after the suspect, Lana and Archer start arguing with one another about whose fault it is.

Archer: Because this is what was there, Lana!

Lana: There, where? Outside a clown college?

Archer: They have those here?

Lana: I don't know! Archer, look out!

Archer almost crashed into a someone as the waiter manage jump out of the way from incoming vehicle.

Y/n: Sorry, sir!

Lana gets done loading her gun as they continue their conversation.

Lana: We'll never catch him!

Archer: You should have thought about that... before you blew the damn drop!

Lana: I blew jack shit!

Archer: Name dropper.

Lana: And if you weren't so busy trying to bang that waitress... you'd have noticed that ODIN had agents in play!

Archer: She was the hostess! If you weren't blinded by jealousy...

Lana: Yes, I'm jealous.

Archer: First step's admitting it.

Lana: Jealous that ODIN's gonna beat us... thanks to your epic poon-houndery! And why should I be jealous about you sleeping with someone? Should I remind you that my HUSBAND give me the best sex of my life better than you when we used to be a thing and treats me with respect I deserve. And added bonus, HE LAST LONGER THAN YOU!!

Archer: First of all,...

They were soon interrupted by the sound of siren from the police that drove next to them and yelling at them to pull over. Y/n swiftly got in between the two vehicles as he pulls out a tranquilizer gun, firing two shots at the officers and making them crash.

Archer: Oh! Oh, my God.

Lana: Thank you, sweetheart~!

Y/n waves at his wife before speeding off to chase after the suspect.

Lana: That's the reason he's the better spy than you.

Archer: Shut up! ODIN or Y/n doesn't beat Sterling Archer. Only Sterling Archer beats...

Archer immediately stopped the car as they soon realize they lost track of both Y/n and the suspect.

Lana: Did you wanna finish that?

Archer put the car in reverse to find another route.

Archer: Did you wanna finish... shutting your big fat, negative-wordsy mouth?

Lana: Whose fat mouth told the stupid waitress he was an ISIS agent?

Archer: Hostess. And I had a plan.

Lana: What, to get laid in the walk-in?

Archer: Also. Because I'm not an ant, Lana. I happen to see the big picture.

Lana: Oh, really? Well, then where's...

By a surprising turn of event, Archer found the suspect and Y/n as they have Kasparov cornered.

Lana: Kasparov? Okay, that was a fluke.

Archer: Ha, ha. Yeah, a fluke of nature. Because I happen to have... perfect situational awareness, Lana.

Lana: Archer.

Archer: Like a poet's mind for...

Lana: Archer. Archer!

Archer: To make the perfect word.

Lana: Archer!

Archer: Goddamn it, I'm relishing the...

Out of nowhere, a large incoming vehicle came crashing at Archer and Lana causing their car to flip upside down.

Y/n: Lana?!?!

Y/n fires two shot at Kasparov, one hitting him in the leg and the other at the motorcycle engine making sure he doesn't get away.

Archer: Ow. Way to go, Lana. Nice warning.

Lana: Nice relishing. Ow.

Archer: Oh. Think that was ODIN?

Lana: No, it's only you that beats you, buddy.

Y/n: Lana!

Y/n came rushing toward the car as he kneels down to see if his wife is ok.

Y/n: Lana are you, ok? Are you hurt!?

Lana: I'm ok, Y/n... the seatbelt protect me from falling out.

Archer: I'm ok just letting you know. Ow.

Y/n help Lana out of the vehicle just as ODIN agents arrived at the scene.

Barry: Hey, gang.

Y/n /Lana: Barry.

Archer: Is that Barry?

Barry: Gee, thanks for helping us catch Kasparov. ODIN appreciates the assist.

Lana: Yeah.

Y/n: Barry, what the hell?! You could've killed my wife from that reckless stunt!

Barry: Sorry about that, Y/n but we needed to catch Kasparov before he escapes, again... so no hard feelings. And if you two ever get tired of playing JV ball... you know where to find us.

Archer: Oh, yeah, uh, where's that? Um, dick town? Ha, ha. Ow.

Barry then hands Y/n and Lana a business card before join the other agents on hauling off, Kasparov. Archer managed to get out of the vehicle and snatch the business card from Y/n.

Archer: Jesus, even their cards are nice. Lana, look at this. It's embossed.

Lana doesn't respond and just leave with Y/n in hand.

Archer: Oh, okay. Then, I guess, just pout.

Y/n P.O.V.

Later....

After returning to Paris, me and archer arrived at Malory office to discuss with her about the latest mission while Lana waited for me in my office. As we arrived to her office, Malory was already on the phone with someone. I decided to take a seat while Archer went to get a drink. A few minutes later, Malory was done talking on the phone is upset.

Malory: That was the mayor of Paris...

Archer: Name dropper.

Malory: Who was just as eager as I am to know why ISIS agents... were terrorizing Paris!

Y/n: Oh, boy...

Archer: So I crashed a few cop cars... ran over a few mimes! So I don't play by the rules, Mother, but I get results!

Y/n: Not really since I'm usually the one getting all the bad guys before you.

Malory: Well, as long as you got Kasparov.

Y/n: Oh, uh, yeah, about that...

The minute I told Malory that we didn't capture Kasparov, she immediately yelled at the top of her lungs.

Malory: WHAT?!?!?

Archer: Ow! My ears.

Y/n: To be honest it was entirely Archer fault that he gave away our position. He was too busy flirting with some random waitress, he altered Kasparov.

Malory: Sterling?!

Archer: She was a hostess, mother!

Malory: For the love of.... What am I going to do with you. Your lucky Y/n is keeping this agency a float or else we would be in constant red by now.

Archer: Oh, ok... so when I mess up, I'm the blame for it. But when Y/n mess up, he's forgiven for his actions.

Malory: He at least gets the job done with minimal casualties. Unlike you, who caused nothing but trouble and headaches for me.

Archer: I see... then I'll go work for ODIN then.

Malory: ODIN?

Archer: Well, since I'm not appreciated here...

Malory: What's to appreciate?

Archer: Exactly! That's indicative of your whole attitude, Mother!

Malory: Sterling Malory Archer, you are... of course free to pursue your options.

Archer: My... Wait, hang on.

Malory: And if ODIN made you a better offer, what kind of mother would I be... if I stood in the way of your happiness?

Archer: Uh... Wait, what just happened here?

Malory: Sterling Malory Archer, you're fired.

Archer then storm off from the office in a huff while I looked back at Malory.

Y/n: Are you sure about this? He still your, son.

Malory: Is fine... he can't do anything without me, anyway. I bet he won't last a day at ODIN. Which reminds me... they didn't off you anything did they?

Y/n: Well, Barry did offer me and Lana the job to be honest. He never gave the job offer to Archer in the first place.

Malory: And are you thinking of leaving the agency to join with THEM.

Y/n: To be truthful... no. ODIN can offer me anything I want but I'm not turning my back on the agency that supported me. And I'm especially not turning my back on the woman who helped me meet my future wife.

As I say that, I hear Malory sigh in relief as she gave me a gentle smile with a hint of blush.

Malory: I'm happy to hear that.

Y/n: You're welcome, Malory. Now, I should talk with Lana about this to see if she agrees with me.

Malory: You better.

I then leave Malory's office to discuss with Lana about Barry job offer with ODIN.

3rd P.O.V.

After Y/n was done discussing with Malory about the failed mission and the job offer he and Lana received from ODIN. Archer on the other hand, under the misguidance that ODIN gave the job offer to him but in reality was meant for Y/n and Lana. Decided to pack up his stuff and leave the ISIS agency to join with ODIN.

However, when Archer tried to get his stuff and money from his apartment after he discovered his mother froze his accounts. Woodhouse already locked Archer out of the apartment under Malory orders and when he tried to shoot down the door to get in. Archer ended up shooting himself by accident forgetting that the door was made bulletproof after a previous incident from Popeye.

As Archer is getting back on his feet, he start making a call to ODIN...

ODIN agency...

In Trexler's office, Barry is seen discussing with Trexler while he's playing golf about the job offer he gave to Y/n and Lana back at Paris.

Trexler: Oh, come on! We've got MI6 in the semis on Sunday... and I am slicing it like a butcher.

Barry: Just keep at it.

Trexler: I think it's this new grip.

Barry: So listen. Remember how you wanted me to float that job offer to Lana and Y/n?

Trexler: Love them, yeah. When do they start?

Barry: Right? That's the thing. See, I think Sterling Archer thought... I was talking to him.

Trexler: Archer? You're kidding!

Barry: I wish. I mean, obviously the guy's great in the field.

Trexler: Ha-ha-ha. Well, you would know.

Barry: Now, see. Why do you do that?

Trexler: Why do you softball them in like that? I'm sorry, how's the leg?

Barry: Hurts when it rains. And when I think about Archer, and so I blew him off.

Trexler: No, no, no, Barry, you blow him on!

Barry: "On" as in hire him? As in here?

Trexler: Yes! It'll drive his mother crazy.

Trexler swing another hit only to break the office window in the process.

Trexler: Gotta be the grip.

Y/n P.O.V.

Back at ISIS agency....

After me and Lana came to an agreement on declining Barry offer for employment at ODIN agency. I make my way back towards Malory's office where I stumble upon her in a drunken state as she's giving out orders to Cheryl and Pam.

Malory: And you froze all of Sterling's accounts?
Domestic and foreign?

Cheryl: Even the one on the Isle of Man. Oh, my God, is that, like, Whore Island for women?

Pam: No.

Malory: Then you just watch, in no time... he'll be begging me to take him back... He hasn't called, has he?

Pam: No. How you holding up, Mama Bird?

Malory: Well, except for your grossly over-familiar tone, I couldn't be happier.

Cheryl: Even if Mr. Archer gets a job at ODIN?

Malory: Oh, please. ODIN won't hire him. After the stunt he pulled in Berlin?

Flashback...

Berlin... I remember that mission, me and Archer went on that mission together but it went downhill immediately. Archer ended up killing two double agents from ODIN and causing Barry to dangle over the ledge of the building.

However, it only got worse when Barry accidentally rip Archer suit after falling off the ledge and grabbed Archer's suit by mistake.

Archer: Well, whose fault is that, Barry?

Barry: Yours. You bust in, shoot two good double agents...

Archer: And you think an appropriate response is to ruin my suit? Oh, and my shirt.

Barry: I'm sorry. So will you please just help me up?

Archer: No.

End of Flashback...

Thank god! I made in time to save Barry before he fell but it still unfortunate since Archer managed to shoot Barry in the leg leaving him with a limb for the rest of his life.

Y/n: I swear Archer needs to grow up one of these days...

3rd P.O.V.

Meanwhile...

Archer finally joined ODIN as he's seen playing golf in Trexler's office.

Trexler: Oh, that looks great.

Archer: Yeah, it feels pretty good.

Trexler: So come on already, take a cut.

Archer: What, like, out the window?

Trexler: Don't worry about it. I get a deal on those, 90 cents a ball.

Archer: Um, okay.

Taking a swing with the golf club, Archer made the ball fly across the city. This impressed Trexler as he praised Archer for his performance.

Trexler: God, you're a natural. Bet it's all that lacrosse at boarding school.

Archer: Yeah, 13 years' worth.

Trexler: Thirteen years? What, she ship you off in kindergarten? Ahem. Gosh, that must've been tough.

Archer: No, l... I loved it. Um...

Archer has a flashback of the past remembering his time at boarding school, showing us that he was all alone and scared.

Archer: Made a lot of good friends. Family, almost, is what they were.

Trexler: Speaking of, how's your mother taking all this?

Archer: Oh, please, I bet she doesn't even miss me.

Mallory's office...

Back at Malory's office, Malory is seen ranting about Archer and the boarding school incident while laying her head on Y/n's lap for comfort.

Malory: Because he'll be back, crying for his mommy. Just like that Christmas break when I moved... and forgot to give my new address to his stupid boarding school. I mean, he rode the train into the city all by himself. He couldn't pick up a phone book? Nine years old, and bawling... in that police station like a little girl. Ha! What's that tell you?

Cheryl: Kind of a lot, actually.

Archer: *thought* It explains the mommy issues.

Malory: Oh, shut up. I bet you're barren.

Y/n: Malory, want me to get Archer back for you?

Malory: Please dear.... My son is an idiot sometimes but he still my son nothing less. Bring him back for me...

Y/n: Alright, anything for you.

Y/n gently place Malory on the couch before leaving to bring Archer back.

Back at ODIN, Archer got done explaining to Trexler about how Malory abandoned him during Christmas EVE when he was child because she forgot to give the boarding school the new address.

Trexler: My God. On Christmas?

Archer: Well, Christmas Eve, technically.

Trexler: Well, the lovely Framboise from HR... has some paperwork for you to sign.

A beautiful French woman enter the office, little did Archer or Trexler know is that Framboise is actually Barry's fiancé.

Framboise: Hello~

Trexler: So why don't you follow her on down... to your big new corner office.

Archer: Okay.

Trexler: Where the sofa is soaked in Scotchgard.

Archer: It, uh...

Trexler: If you know what I mean.

Archer: Yeah, I think I do.

Trexler: It's resistant to stains.

Archer: Right, right, I got it.

Trexler: Super. Because we're one big family.

Archer: Ugh.

Later....

Malory is seen yelling at Trexler through video call in her office and she's furious. However, Trexler doesn't seem to mind with Malory yelling as he sees this as an opportunity to convince her to join ODIN with him.

Trexler: Hello, Malory~

Malory: Fuck off!

Trexler: Whoa, whoa with the language. You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Malory: You leave Bub out of this. And how dare you steal my son away from me?

Trexler: Steal him? You cut him loose.

Malory: You cut him loose!

Trexler: What?

Malory: I want you to fire him, this instant.

Trexler: No, no, I can't do that. He's happy here, he's making new friends.

Meanwhile....

Barry: Godddamn it, Archer!

Archer: What, Barry? I said don't come in here.

Inside Archer's offfice, Barry was shot by Archer after he came barging in after Archer warned him not to enter. As for the reason behind it is because inside the room Archer is seen having sex with Framboise, Barry's fiancé.

Archer: Framboise, what'd I say?

Barry: I-

Framboise: He said do not come in.

Archer: Yeah, Barry.

Back with Trexler and Malory....

Malory: I don't care if he's happy.

Trexler: That's obvious.

Malory: Meaning what, exactly?

Trexler: Meaning, who leaves a 9-year-old kid... in a police station on Christmas?

Malory: Eve. And he told you about that?

Trexler: Oh, we've had such great talks.

Malory: Fire him!

Trexler: Join him. Come work for me.

Malory: Have you lost your mind?

Trexler: Every time I see you.

Malory: Fire him.

Trexler: Can't do it.

Malory: Can't or won't?

Trexler: Either?

Malory: Fine. Then go check your Telex.

Malory then press a button on her desk in which send a letter to Trexler's office as he reads it for himself with Barry standing next to him.

Trexler: Oh, my God. A burn notice?

Barry: Look at that. "ISIS disavows Agent Sterling Archer, a.k.a. Duchess."

Trexler: Man, she loved that dog...

Barry: "Who is to be considered..." an unreliable asset and security risk."

Trexler: Oh, it must have killed her to do this.

Barry: Ha, ha. And I'm smirking.

Trexler: No, you don't smirk... at a mother's suffering, Barry, you asshole!

Trexler smacks Barry injured arm making him yell a bit.

Barry: Ow! It's just, with the shattered femur, and the gunshot wound... and I don't know if you knew this, but Framboise and I were... kind of engaged.

Trexler: I did not know that.

Barry: Yeah.

Trexler: And I served her up like a pudding. Barry.

Barry: Well, engaged to be engaged. Ow!

Trexler smack Barry injured arm again.

Trexler: Ass. If you love it, put a ring on it. Okay, so you go fix this.

Barry: You know, I'm not even sure I want to now. She was obviously into him. Mother...

Trexler smacks him even harder.

Barry: Ow! Come on!

Trexler: Ass. Not Framboise. Archer.

Barry: The burn notice? His mother just sent that to...

Trexler: To every agency on the planet. CIA, MI6, Interpol. We can't keep him now, Barry.

Barry: Oh. So...

Trexler: So you take him to the basement, you put one in his ear. Can you do that?

Archer then came walking inside the office while fixing his belt after he was done having sex with Framboise.

Archer: Oh, my God. That Framboise is a freak, huh?

This seems to seal the deal with Barry as he glares at Archer.

Barry: Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.

Y/n P.O.V.

ODIN Agency...

Me and Lana arrived at ODIN Agency much to her confusion after we agreed to turn down, Barry's offer in the first place.

Lana: Tell me again, why we're here at ODIN? Didn't we agree to decline their job offer.

Y/n: I know as much I hate Archer, he still Malory's son at the end. Besides, I get feeling Archer already fucked up something after being here for only a few hours.

Lana: True but how do we get in without drawing attention to ourselves?

Y/n: I got Barry phone number after saving his life from falling off the ledge from the last mission and... also taking him to the hospital after Archer shot him in the leg.

Lana: Wait, what?!

Y/n: Yeah, Archer was really upset with Barry for ripping his suit. Anyway, let me give him a call...

I pulled out my phone as I make a call to Barry.

Phone call...

Barry: Hello.

Y/n: Hey, Barry is me.

Barry: Hey, Y/n! How are you, my friend.

Y/n: Everything is good... just wanted to ask if me and Lana can speak with you for a moment. We won't take up much of your time if that alright with you.

Barry: Of course! Just need to do something first, I'll see you and Lana in my office.

End of Phone call...

I hang up the phone with Barry as I look back at Lana.

Y/n: Alright, we're in.

Lana: That was easy.

We then make our way inside as we head towards Barry's office without drawing attention to ourselves. Once arriving to his office, Barry is already waiting for us inside as make our presence known.

Y/n: Hey, Barry.

Barry: Hey, Y/n! Is good see you, it been a while hasn't it.

Y/n: Yeah.

Lana: *thought* Even though we just met each other a few hours ago.

Barry: So, what do you want to talk about? Is it about the job offer I gave you.

Y/n: About that...

*Clank* *Clank* *Clank*

Suddenly, we were interrupted by someone making loud noise with some stuff. As I turn around to see a beautiful French woman carrying a box.

Barry: Give a second... WOULD YOU NOT GIVE ME A MINUTE, FRAMBOISE!!!

Framboise: No! You fired me, I take my things!

Barry: Take all the things! Here, take this! Go stable my heart back together!

Barry throws a stabler at the lady, almost hitting her.

Framboise: *french* Don't care! I don't care!

Barry: Wha- How am I the bad guy in this?!

After the lady left the room, everything went silent and awkward for a moment.

Y/n: So... I'm guessing she's your, ex?

Framboise: Actually ex fiancé is to be correct. She and I just broke up just recently after an ACCIDENT with Archer.

Lana: Oh god... don't tell me.

Barry: Is bad enough that he shot me, AGAIN and now he screwed my fiancé because my boss let him.

Y/n: Damn it, Archer! He's only been here for a day and is already screwing with someone partner. I'm sorry about his behavior, Barry.

Barry: It's fine, *sarcasm* not like I wasn't planning on settling down or anything... start a family that I wished I had as a kid. *end of sarcasm* but now you two are here, I'm sure thing will turn around for the good.

Y/n: About that... me and Lana decided to turn down the offer since we prefer to stay with ISIS.

This seems to saddened Barry.

Barry: Oh... sorry to hear that.

Lana: But the main reason we're here is bringing Archer back to ISIS.

Barry: Is that so... you know there's a Burn Notice on him. I can't just let him go without reason, I have an order to execute him.

Y/n: I know that but what if I say, I have something you can use against Archer and your boss as payback.

This caught Barry attention as he gave an evil smirk.

Barry: I'm listening~

Y/n: It involves with Malory, Archer's mother of all people.

Barry: Oh, I'm going to love hearing this.

Later....

After making a deal with Barry on getting rid of the Burn Notice and promising on having a boys night out with him so he can get over his ex. We managed to retrieve Archer from ODIN before he got himself killed. While we're making our way toward the airport, Archer is complaining about us taking him away from the perfect agency or some crap.

Archer: I can't believe you guys did that! I was finally enjoying myself for once.

Lana: If you mean screwing around with someone Fiancé then sure, idiot.

Y/n: Did you forget there was a Burn Notice on you? You almost got killed!?!

Archer: And?

Y/n: I swear I'm regretting this already...

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Y/n: *thought* Or not~

Archer pulls out his phone and sees is a message from Barry.

Archer: Is from Barry? What does he want? I bet he's still upset about Framboise.

Lana: Oh, I'm sure he is~

Archer start read the message, we waited about a minute until we got the reaction we wanted to hear.

Archer: MOTHER, NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Y/n: *thought* I wonder how Trexler is handling the news?

3rd P.O.V.

Trexler's office...

Trexler is busy playing golf in his office went out of nowhere, he received a message from his phone making miss his swing.

Trexler: What is it, now?

He pulls out his phone and sees it from an unknown caller and with that message came with a link of video from Pam social media profile. Trexler press the link and second the video start playing. He can already hear Malory moaning Y/n as the sound skin slapping together in the background.

Malory video: Oh, Y/n~! Keep pounding me harder~! Harder~! Harder~!

Trexler: MALORY, NOOOO!!!!!!

Barry listen to Trexler scream of agony on the other side of the door as he chuckles to himself.

Barry: *chuckle* Serves you right, asshole.