Warning

There is suicide in this chapter so please do don't read if it can trigger something or you're not an adult.

Kaitlin's POV
Today was Sunday and we had a plan. The ball was tomorrow which meant that we had today to put the plan into action.

But I had been dragged to the mall by my so called best friend to find a dress.

I mean I wanted to wear a shirt and some sweatpants but she gave me dirty look like I was a pervert and kidnapped me.

Then she brought me here and began torturing me. We've been here for three hours and she hasn't found the "perfect dress".

"Maria, stop. Stop everything and tell me what's wrong!" I said as I stopped her. I knew there was something up when she looked so defeated and sad about not finding me a dress. There was more to her frustration.

It was time for me to help my best friend.

It wasn't just about the dress. There was something bothering her. "I just wanted you to go to the ball. You never go to anything and I don't know why. 

I can't ever take a picture with you or anything. Then it seems like Michael and you gave a whole lot of history. He seems to know you and I don't.

I feel like you're hiding something from me. I just realized that I don't really know much about my best friend.

And on top of that I told James that I had a crush on him and he told me to forget about it because he liked someone else." She rushed out in one breath.

"But why would you tell him if you weren't sure whether he liked you back or not?" I asked and gave her a look when she avoided my eyes.

"I wanted him to ask me to the Valentine ball because I knew that even if I got you a dress, you wouldn't come." She said as tears flowed down get eyes.

"And I didn't mean to tell him. I was telling Mason when James walked in and Mason stormed out. I feel so sad and confused." She said.

For the first time, my crazy best friend looked so sad and was crying over a boy.

"Okay, how about I take you to my place and we'll get a picture of James and throw darts at his face while we eat ice cream okay?" I said softly.

She nodded and I wrapped an arm around her as I led her outside. Once we stepped out of the mall, we met the boys.

Maria avoided James gaze and so did Mason. Michael looked like he wanted to say something but I glared at him.

Then I steered Maria to the car. "Boys, who needs them?" I said as I drove of of the parking lot and towards my home.

Maria was quiet throughout. When we reached home, I grabbed two tubs of chocolate ice cream and sent them to my room.

"I got out the book. Let's look for them." She said. The book was basically a book of every person in our school.

We had pictures ranging from the principal to the janitor. Every time someone pissed either of us off, we hung their picture up and threw darts at them.

I grabbed a picture of James and Michael. Maria added Mason's and we hung it against my door. I placed the darts on the table and we began.

"You despicable beast, I bared my heart to you and you crushed it. Die!!!" Maria screamed and threw a dart at James.

I put my spoon down and grabbed a dart. "I gave you my soul and you cheated on me the next day with the girl who threatened to have me killed.

The same girl who almost destroyed your friendship with James. I hate you for making me love you." I yelled and threw the dart.

Tears fell down as I grabbed more and threw them. Maria did the same and pretty soon we had smashed my room.

I grabbed lamp and smashed it against the wall. Maria threw my bed side table. "I hate my parents for never being there for me.

I hate them for keeping me a secret. Like I was a dirty stain." I yelled as we threw stuff around.

Maria and I let out our pain and sorrow and frustration. "I hate my mother for accepting the man who beat me up until I was in a coma for three months." She yelled in anger.

At the end, the ice cream was gone and my room was trashed but we felt cool. I had gotten some of the anger out of my system.

I sat on the floor beside her and we both cried at our messed up lives. Suddenly my bedroom door opened and the guys walked in.

"Are you guys okay? What happened? Are you hurt?" They asked questions but we ignored them. Their presence made my blood boil.

"Get out of my house. All of you!" I screamed at them. Maria cried in the crook of my neck and whimpered.

"No, we're not leaving you two in this state. We want an explanation. We know you're both mad at us but we want to know why." Mason said.

So they didn't know what they'd done wrong. I was about to say something but Maria squeezed my hand and began tracing letters.

I-w-a-n-t-t-o-t-a-k-e-a-s-h-ow-e-r. I-d-o-n-t-w-a-n-t-J-a-m-e-s-t-o-s-e-e-m-e.

"Can you please give us some privacy?" I asked. They all nodded and walked out of the room.

I helped Maria get to my bathroom and ran a bath for her. I got clothes from my closet and set them down before I walked out of the bathroom.

I didn't even want to think about the mess we made. It looks like a hurricane caused it.

A few minutes later I went in to check on Maria. She sat in the tub and was crying. I sat on the edge of the tub and she placed her head on my lap.

I brushed her hair softly as I began to sing to her. It was my dream to be a singer but mom crushed that dream.

Now I only sing for Maria. I sang her favorite song, thousand years by Christina Perri.

Hearts, beat fast. Colours and promises. How to be brave? How can I love? when I'm afraid to fall. But watching you stand alone. All of my doubts, suddenly goes away somehow.

One step, closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I love you for a thousand more.

"Maria, we're going to make it. I'm going to make sure that your father never touches you again. I swear it.

Now stop crying and let's get our shit together. One day, we'll be out of this town and it'll be like I promised.

Just you and me living in a nice big house and having everything you always wanted. I'll get you all the chocolate you want and we'll cry over the notebook.  I'll stay with you until you find a family of your own.

That's the first promise I made you and I'm going to keep it." I said comfortingly. She got up and stared at me with bloodshot green eyes.

"Thank you." She said. I nodded. I left her to get dressed and waited for her to come out. I held her hand and we made our way downstairs.

The boys sat on the couch looking tense. The tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. We all just sat there in silence and stared at each other.

Until a loud noise filled the air followed by a pungent smell. "Did you just fart?" James asked Mason as Maria and I burst into laughter.

Mason blushed a deep red and we'll laughed even harder. Soon even Michael and James were laughing.

Mason avoided everyone's eyes especially Maria. "Okay so it's obvious that there's a lot of tension among us so why don't we all start relieving.

Someone say something. Anything!" Mason said. He didn't have a problem with anyone. Mason was a bright and happy ray of sunshine. I like his personality.

He could make me laugh until I cried. "I told James I had a crush on him and he told me he liked you." I gasped as Maria looked at me.

Me? He liked me? What the hell! I turned to apologize to Maria but she shook her head. "I'm sorry about that but I can't do anything about it.

I know she will never return my feelings but I can't help it." He said. I looked at him sympathetically. It would be awkward talking to him after what I'd just heard.

"Okay, now Michael and Cat, it's your turn." Mason said. I avoided Michael's gaze and stared at my hands.

"I want you back. I can't stand the thought of you being with someone else." He declared. I stared at him in shock.

Then it turned to rage. "I don't want you back. You don't own me. You lost me the day you fucked Brittany right after taking my virginity." I yelled at him.

Maria stared at me in pain. It had hurt a lot and it still does. "I was drunk. And I thought she was you. And don't act like you didn't kiss James." He accused me.

"You were my first love. My first everything and after breaking my heart you thought it would be a good idea to show the world that I existed.

Did you even bother to ask me how I felt about it? No! So when I ran away at the last minute, you called me a coward.

It had been to save your mom. Brittany knew that if I was exposed, the spotlight would be on me and that her father's wealth wouldn't bring her back to the spotlight.

To her it was about the fame and money and she would do anything to get it.

You don't deserve me because you still blame for your mother's death. You didn't even trust me. You let her poison your mind." I yelled at him.

I was full in crying and he looked so angry and hurt. " I asked you what had happened but you didn't tell me.

You just kept telling me that it was your fault. I saw you get out of the car and I saw you kneel by her.

Yours was the only car on the street. What was I supposed to do?" He yelled at me.

My heart clenched painfully. It hurt to see the boy I love accuse me of murder. He still didn't believe me. He didn't trust me.

I tuned to face Maria and she held out her hands for me. I moved into her embrace as I sobbed in pain.

"He doesn't believe me. He thinks I killed his mother. He thinks I'm a murderer. He...." I couldn't even finish my sentence.

It just kept ringing in my head. I was so horrible that he believed I had killed his mother. I can't believe it.

Was I such a horrible person? I can't believe it. I felt like I was going to go insane with so much pain. I pulled it of Maria's embrace and stood up.

"Can everyone please leave?" I asked softly.  "I can't leave you in such a condition. You're not okay." Maria complained.

"I'll be fine. I just want to be alone. Please just go. I don't want anyone here. Just leave me alone!" I yelled.

They all got up and reluctantly left. I slowly climbed up to my trashed room and sat on the floor.

I lay on the floor and cried. I cried in pain for so many reasons. Michael thinking I had killed his mother, Maria being beaten by her father and my parents pretending i didn't exist.

It was then that I realized that I was just a burden to everyone. I just kept causing problems
Why not end it all? A voice asked in my head.

That idea seemed like a better option. Everyone hated me and I was of no use. I was just a waste of space.

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a letter to Michael.

Dear Michael,
  If you're reading this then I'm already dead. After giving it much thought I realized that you were right.

I had killed your mother. If I had gotten there quicker I could've prevented the other car from hitting her.

As usual, I was late. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you and your family. I regret it all. Remember the last words you told me that day?

You told me that I was a mistake. I didn't believe you but now i realize that it's the truth. I'm sorry for being a waste of space.

I'm sorry for being a mistake.

I left the letter on my desk. I cried as I grabbed the blade. I sobbed as I filled the tub with water.

I climbed in and stared at the clear water. I cut my wrist. One for hurting Michael, his family, my parents, Maria and James.

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." I whispered before I lay down in the water. I could feel my self getting weak from the blood loss.

So this was how I died. Alone and regretting having ever lived. Soon black spots dotted my vision and I lost consciousness.
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Just so you know. I cried at this chapter. It hurt me so much but anyway I want to advice my readers.

I know that some of you relate to Kaitlyn and may feel that suicide is the easy way out but it's not.

Every time you feel like ending it all just remember that no matter who you are. Where you're from or what you do, there is always someone who loves you.

You're worth something and you are not a mistake or a waste of space. Every time I feel nervous, I look in a mirror and say two words.

Those two words always give me a boost of confidence. So look in your mirror right now and say, "Fuck Everyone."

Damn I feel better already.