Enjoy :)

Rainbow breathed in the fresh summer air. She took a sip from her ice cold water bottle. The sun warmed her up and the breeze that flew by balanced it out.

It was a perfect summer day. Rainbow sat out on the front yard, her shades on, water bottle in hand, relaxing in the hot sun after playing with her soccer ball. She sat there, thinking. Just thinking.

Rainbow thought about Applejack. The thought of her two year long girlfriend brought a smile to her face.

Applejack. The definition of perfection. She was beautiful. Her grassy green eyes made Rainbow's knees buckle. Those eyes hypnotized Rainbow. She could stare into them all day if she was able to. Her smile was one of a kind. It was genuine and for her. Applejack had a certain smile on her face when she was with Rainbow Dash. Rainbow noticed it and it made her feel so special.

Applejack's freckles were the cutest thing about her. Those little dots on her nose and cheeks were so interesting. Applejack had to stop Rainbow from playing connect the dots on here a few times when the couple were bored and Rainbow felt like bothering her.

Applejack. The girl who was as athletic and strong and stupidly brave as Rainbow Dash, probably even more so. Her strong arms could easily lift her up and carry her around whenever Applejack pleased, much to Rainbow's embarrassment and complaint. Rainbow didn't mind it when her girlfriend would hold her in her arms when they were cuddling on the couch or watching a movie in bed.

Applejack always made time for her, no matter how busy she was while working on her family's farm. She even let Rainbow tag along, even if she knew Rainbow would just laze around, sleeping under a tree or something. She happily would wake her up with a kiss or scare her awake with screaming in her ear.

Applejack was kind, and caring, and patient, and just........ perfect.

I'm so lucky to have her.

A sudden thought popped into her head.

I don't deserve her.

Rainbow frowned. Her heart sank. She knew this was probably her depression talking. Her depression couldn't even let her think about her girlfriend without trying to ruin her day.

She's so perfect and amazing, and I'm just a sad, pathetic excuse for a human being. She could date anyone in the world, but she chose me. Why?? I'm nothing special. If anything, I'm less than average.

Rainbow suddenly didn't feel like being out on the yard anymore. She stood up and headed to the front porch. She sat down on the porch, bringing her knees to her chest. The insulting thoughts wouldn't give up.

What if one day she left me??

The thought made Rainbow's eyes moist. She took a deep breath, willing her emotions to calm down.

What if she gets sick of me?? My depression isn't exactly easy to handle. It's never gonna go away. What if she's tired of my low self esteem?? Or me crying because of small things?? Or me getting upset at her for no reason?? Or my nightmares??

Applejack must hate having to wake up in the middle of the night every so often due to Rainbow thrashing and screaming in fear, dreaming of her dad. She must be getting tired of it. Most people wouldn't be able to handle that. She must hate it when Rainbow would yell at her or push away when her depression got too much to handle.

Rainbow chewed on her lip, tearing at the skin. Everyone always told her "if you can't love yourself, no one will."

Rainbow didn't love herself. She pretended she did in public. People thought she was full of herself. But in reality, she hated herself most days. She couldn't stand herself. Her ugly face, her body that never seemed to be fit or toned enough, or her laugh. God, her laugh was extremely annoying, it made Rainbow want to never laugh again.

How could Applejack handle her?? She was a mess. She couldn't even love herself for who she is. How could Applejack love her??

Rainbow rested her chin on her knees. She felt as if the cheerful, bright, and sunny day around her was now a gloomy, dark, and cloudy night. She was too wrapped up in her own little world, to notice the door screen door squeak open a little.

Rainbow sniffled, her nose suddenly deciding to start running. Her chest felt tight. Rainbow needed to talk to someone. Other than Applejack.

She reached a shaky hand into her pocket. She took out her phone. Her shaky hands, fumbled with the phone as she typed in her password, the click of her phone unlocking.

Rainbow immediately went to her contacts. She found the number she was looking for and pressed call. She pressed the phone to her ear, resting her chin again on her knees. She sniffled.

The person picked up.

"Hey, Rain."

"Strike." Rainbow sniffled, wiping her nose on her jacket.

"What's wrong, kiddo??" Her uncle asked her, worry evident in his voice.

"I-I just need t-to talk to so-someone." Rainbow replied, her voice shaky.

"Well, I'm all ears. Let it all out, kid."

Rainbow sniffled. "I don't understand. Why would Applejack want me?? Out of all people, she asked me out??. I just....... don't understand. I mean she's perfect. The definition of perfection. She's smart, loyal, honest, beautiful. More than beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful. Her eyes are breathtaking. Her smile makes me feel so much better whenever I see it. Her laugh is like music to me. And she's totally awesome. She's it afraid to get dirty. And she's so protective of me, it's insane. She knows when I'm about to do something stupid, even though I don't think it's stupid. She cares about people and me. She's always patient with me and she never gets upset when I yell at her when my depression gets this bad. She's there to hold me when I'm down in the dumps and feeling horrible about myself. She wiped my tears away and holds me. She's an angel sent from heaven, I swear."

Rainbow sniffled. "But I'm scared of that."

"Why??" Strike asked, not a hint of judgement in his voice, but pure curiosity.

"Because" Rainbow answered. "What if that patience and kindness runs out??. What if one day she sees me crying in bed because I'm depressed or I miss my mom, or I wake her up one night cuz' of a stupid nightmare..... and she leaves??. What if she just says she can't handle it anymore and just breaks up with me??. What if she's sick and tired of me and my depression??. It's never gonna go away, no matter what and she knows that and what if she can't handle me anymore or doesn't want to deal with me anymore??. Cuz I sure as hell don't want to deal with me a lot of the time. What if she...... just......"

Rainbow took a breath.

"She's the best thing to have ever happened to me. I never thought I'd ever be in a relationship. Never. I never thought that someone would be able to see past my depression and want me. What if I ruin that?? What if I chase her away because I'm too screwed up in the head?? We can't even go out with our friends some days because my depression is so bad I can't even fake being happy. What if...... what if I'm just holding her back?."

Rainbow had tears running down her cheeks, blurring her vision.

"What does she see in someone like me??. I love her so much it scares me, cuz I don't think I've ever loved someone this much since my mom died. I know Applejack loves me too, and that scared me even more because people alwyays tell me that if I can't love myself, no one can else will love me. She loves me a lot from what she tells me. That kind of love scares me, Strike. I'm not used to it. I'm not. So what if she stops loving me??. I'm so so so grateful to have her, but I don't understand her. What good am I to anyone??."

"Rainbow. If only you knew how special you are to me and your mother."

Rainbow fell her chest tighten. She felt a little better getting all of that off her chest but now she was all worked up and upset and all those thoughts and fears ran rampage in her mind.

"Rainbow. Applejack loves you so much. I can see it in her eyes. The way she looks at you when you're not looking at her. You know that look a boy gives a girl in one of those sappy, romance movies??"

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah."

"She looks at you the exact same way. She doesn't like to admit it, but she does."

"She does??."

"Mhm. Heart eyes and all that. It's sickeningly cute. She really cares about you. She's there for you when it's your mom's death anniversary. She's with you when you're in the hospital if you got hurt. She's had to calm me when you're having a meltdown because she needs help calming you down when you forget to take your anxiety medication. She goes through all those lengths to keep you safe. Trust me, Rainbow. She isn't going anywhere. And if she does leave you because of your depression, then she's not worth it. She didn't deserve you if something you can't control drives her away."

Rainbow nodded. "Thanks, Strike. I feel a lot better now. Sorry for bothering you."

"No big deal, Rainbow. I love talking to you. It's my job as your guardian to help you in these moments. Your mother would kill me if I didn't."

Rainbow laughed lightly. "Really??."

"Ohhhh yeah. She'd yell at me for not looking out for you like I should. Then she'd give me that look. You know the look."

Rainbow giggled and nodded, knowing exactly what look he was referring to.

"Feel better??."

"Yeah. I'm gonna go inside and watch tv."

"Where's Applejack??."

Rainbow shrugged. "I haven't seen her all day so I don't know where she is, to be honest. But I'm had she's not here. I don't think I could handle having her see me like this again, especially after everything I just told you."

"Well when you see her, tell her I said to call me. Go on and take something for the headache you're gonna have."

He was right. Rainbow could feel her head throbbing. She brought a hand up to her head.

"Okay. Bye. I love you."

"That's my brave girl. I love you too, RD. See ya."

Rainbow hung up. She sighed and looked out at the large front yard. Rainbow thought about to what her Uncle said. Those thoughts were suddenly chased out by the degrading thoughts of her depression. Now she felt even more conflicted. And angry.

Rainbow tossed her phone aside and stood up. She angrily wiped away a tear that slipped out. She walked down the stairs and turned left. She marched up to the closest tree on their enormous yard. Rainbow glared at the tree as if it were her enemy.

She marched up to it, feeling herself getting emotional again. Why couldn't she get her emotions in check today??

Rainbow stared down the tree. She swung at it with an open hand. She slapped the tree out of anger. When that did nothing, she punched it. The bark scratched her skin but it felt good.

Rainbow Dash punched the tree again. Her chest swelled with sudden and undirected anger. She rammed into the tree and punched. Her blows were causing her more pain than the tree.

"WHY WOULD SHE WANT YOU??." She screamed. "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A STUPID SENSITIVE BITCH. APPLEJACK DOESNT WANT YOU. NO ONE WANTS YOU. YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL WHEN YOURE ACTUALLY JUST A HOPELESS, PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN. APPLEJACK CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU. SHE COULD HAVE ANYONE IN THE WORLD, BUT SHE CHOSE YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE HER KINDNESS OR HER LOVE. YOU'LL RUIN HER AND CHASE HER AWAY. SHE'LL SEE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE AND SCREWED UP YOU ARE AND LEAVE YOU. YOU'RE YELLING AT A FUCKING TREE FOR DAMN SAME. SHE PROBABLY THINKS YOU'RE ALREADY CRAZY AND IS WAITING FOR THE MOMENT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU. YOU. DON'T. DESERVE. HER!!."

Rainbow stepped back, full out sobbing. Her throat, chest, head, and knuckles hurt. Rainbow fell to her knees. Rainbow was shaking. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore. Her voice was hoarse, throat sore. Her eyes were a little red and swollen from crying.

She sniffled, wiping her nose. She felt disgusting. Rainbow cleared her throat, standing up. All her anger was gone, leaving only the constant sadness that consumed her body and mind. Rainbow let out a shaky breath.

"I don't deserve her." She whispered. "I never did. She deserves better than me."

Rainbow didn't know who she was talking to, but she didn't care. She needed to finally let it out.

"I'm a mess but she never leaves me. One day I'm sure she will. No one wants to be with someone who has no faith in themselves or their relationship. No one really wants me."

Rainbow suddenly felt arms wrap around her.

"Ah want you."

Rainbow turned around. She saw Applejack standing there, tears in her own eyes.

"A-Applejack. How long have you been standing there??."

"Ever since ya called Strike a few minutes ago."

Rainbow looked away. She had heard everything. She knows how Rainbow feels. Rainbow began to turn away when her wrist is grabbed. The teen looked up at Applejack.

Applejack was giving her the most serious yet compassionate look she could muster up. Rainbow felt immense guilt building up and had to look away. She couldn't stand to look her girlfriend in the eyes after everything she had just confessed.

"Let's go back inside and talk."

Rainbow didn't say anything as she followed the blonde into their house. She tried to conceal her face, not wanting Applejack to see her like this...... again.
Applejack led her into the living. She turned to Rainbow as they sat down on the couch. Applejack stared at Rainbow for a few seconds.

Then she smiled.

"You're so sweet, RD. Ah didn't know you though of me that way."

Rainbow shrugged. "I do. You're perfect."

Rainbow looked at her hands. She bit her lip nervously. Applejack reached out and took her hands. She rubbed her thumbs on Rainbow's bruised and scratched up knuckles.

"Rainbow. Baby. Look at me, please."

There wasn't any judgement or annoyance in her voice. Only concern and reassurance. Rainbow stared at her lap, not having the guts to look up and face Applejack. She felt a gentle hand under her chin, lifting her head up. Their eyes locked. Applejack smiled gently.

"There ya are. Those beautiful eyes."

Rainbow didn't respond. Applejack sighed.

"Ah heard everything. Rainbow....... ah don't even know where ta begin."

Rainbow looked away.

"How about ah start with the fact that you're wrong."

Rainbow looked at her girlfriend. Applejack shook her head.

"You know why ah asked you out??."

Rainbow shook her head.

Applejack smiled. "Because ah couldn't stand the thought of you not being mine. Ah wanted you. Ah wanted to be able to kiss you, snuggle with you, hold yir hand. And ah wanted ta be able to call ya mine."

Rainbow wasn't expecting this.

"You did??."

AJ nodded. "Yup. Ah had the hugest crush on ya. All the gals and Spike knew. Even your uncle knew."

Applejack gave a one shouldered shrug. "Ah knew about yir depression. Ah knew how you really were and that yir self centered and arrogant personality was a cover up for what you were feelin' inside. But that didn't bother me. Ah still liked you a lot. Basically fell in love with you"

"Why??." Rainbow demanded to know. "I don't understand why."

"Because." Applejack said. "Ah saw you. The real you despite what you may think about yirself."

"What do you see about me??." Rainbow asked.

Applejack shifted.

"Well. Ah know that you're beautiful. That's obvious."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, making Applejack paused.

"Yeah right."

Applejack looked nearly offended.

"Rainbow. You're beautiful."

"How??." Rainbow challenged. "What's so beautiful about my face??."

Applejack grinned. "Your eyes are amazing. They're so unique. Not many people have magenta eyes. Ah could stare into 'em all day n' they'd still be beautiful ta me"

Rainbow blushed.

"And yir hair is unique as well. It's wild and colorful. It gives you yir name. Rainbow. So thank Celetia for your hair because ah don't think yir mom would've named you that if it wasn't for yir hair."

Rainbow knew she was right about that.

"Ah love that you're shorter than me and younger."

Rainbow pouted at the mention of her height. She was at least four inches or so shorter than AJ, and she was reminded of it every time she had to get something off the top shelf. Things were just out of reach for her, but for Applejack, she could easily grab anything.

Applejack giggled, seeing her face.

"And you're so cute sometimes."

Rainbow looked at her. "I am??."

AJ nodded. "Yeah. Like that pout you do. It's so cute. And you're like a little kid sometimes, especially since you act like one a lot, but ah understand why you do. We had that discussion already."

Rainbow nodded.

"And ah love yir voice."

Rainbow grunted. "I hate it."

Applejack poked her stomach. Rainbow grinned.

She took Applejack's hand.

"Yir laugh is the sweetest thing in the world. Like music. Ah love it. It's cute."

Rainbow honestly felt good while Applejack talked. She smiled a little.

"And don't get me started on yir personality. It's the main reason ah fell for you."

Rainbow cocked her head to the side.

"What do you mean?."

Applejack scooted closer to her.

"You're amazing." She said. "You're funny, and hyper, and daring, and brave, and generous, and selfless. A little nerdy but a think it's sexy."

Rainbow blushed at the comment. Applejack laughed at her reaction. She wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Ah'm just teasin' ya, babe. But, it's true. Ah like that small nerdy side. You get so excited and passionate about Darin' Do books and whether you like to admit it or not, you're a book nerd."

Rainbow scoffed. "Am not." She denied.

Applejack gave her a look. "Like ah said. You probably don't realize it. Ah mean, you're nowhere near as passionate or nerdy as Twilight. No one is. But you do like books more than you say you do. Ah see you reading when you think ah'm not home yet. Ah caught cha with a stack of Darin' Do books and comic books around ya in yir room once."

Then her face became sober, her smile gone.

"The point is is that there so many great things about you that ah fell in love with. Honestly, ah think you're the perfect one."

Rainbow snickered.

"Have you even met me??."

"Ah have." Applejack replied. "Ah know. You have depression and self esteem issues. You don't believe in yirself sometimes and ya have nightmares and ya struggle with self harm and you think ah'm bothered by ya."

Rainbow nodded. Applejack shrugged.

"Ah don't mind."

Rainbow didn't think she heard that right.

"Wait, say that again."

"Ah don't mind." AJ repeated. "All those things don't change mah view of you. They don't change how ah see you."

"Why??. Don't you get sick of my outbursts or my crying or my nightmares waking you up all the time??."

AJ sighed. "Rainbow. You can't help those things. You're not choosin' ta have nightmares of yir dad. You're not choosin ta be depressed. You can't control those things. So ah can get mad at something that can't be controlled. Ah can only help ya through them and face them with you."

"I don't understand." Rainbow said, her voice breaking. "Why are you still here??. Why haven't you broken up with me??. You must be sick of me."

"No."

Applejack shook her head.

"Ah'm not. It's a part of you and ah accept that. If ah'm gonna be in a relationship with you, ah need ta accept all of you. Just like you accept all of me. Ah'm hard headed sometimes and stubborn like you. It gets the best o' me, but you bring me back to earth and keep me grounded."

Rainbow thought about her words. Applejack shrugged. "It ain't easy. Ah'll admit it. Dealin' with depression and PTSD ain't easy. You're strong."

"Strong??."

Rainbow gave her a look of utter disbelief.

"Well, yeah." AJ said. "You go through hell every day, battling with yir thoughts and emotions. Then having to deal with life and depression kinda makes it hard to do that. School, people, getting out of bed is a challenge sometimes. Ah see you struggle ta get up in the mornings and not just because you love sleep."

Rainbow knew she was right.

"So you wanna know why ah stay with you??. Why ah choose ta be with ya through everything and stay, even though ah have every reason not to??."

Rainbow nodded.

"Because ah love you."

Rainbow felt as if her heart would explode with joy. She had never heard Applejack say those three words to her.

"What did you say??."

Applejack stood up, bringing Rainbow Dash up with her.

"Rainbow Eden Dash. Ah love you."

Rainbow smiled. "Say it again."

"Ah love you."

"Say it again."

"Ah love you."

"Again."

Applejack laughed. She pulled Rainbow close and held her around her waist. She pressed their lips together. Rainbow cupped Applejack's face with her hands. She kissed back, cautiously yet passionately. Rainbow knew now that she was loved. This kiss proved it. Rainbow had never felt so loved and wanted in her life. The way Applejack held like she didn't want to let her go reassured her damaged heart that Applejack truly wanted her. She needed her. The broke apart, panting for air. Applejack looked into Rainbow's eyes.

"Ah know." She whispered. "You've been hurt a million times by the ones that should've been protecting you. You've been alone all yir life. But not anymore. Ah ain't goin' anywhere, Baby. Ah'm stayin' and there ain't nothing you can do that'll keep me away. Ah need you in mah life, Rainbow. You make a better better. You've changed mah view on life and you make mah life interesting and full of adventure. Don't ever leave me."

Rainbow couldn't believe Applejack was afraid of her being the one leaving. Rainbow shook her head.

"I can't live without you, AJ. I can't dream of life without you."

Applejack saw a gleam of sadness wash over Rainbow.

"I'm sorry." Rainbow croaked, tears pricking her eyes. "For doubting you. I'm so sorry for everything."

Applejack shook her head. She peppered kisses all over Rainbow's face, making Rainbow laughed. The green eyed teen held Rainbow by her wrists. She trailed her slow kisses down Rainbow's neck and then back up her jaw. Then finally, her lips. Applejack smiled.

"Don't be. You did nothin' wrong. It ain't yir fault."

Applejack wiped away a tear that escaped the corner of Rainbow's eye. She gently tucked a green strand of hair behind her left ear, looking into her eyes.

Rainbow couldn't stop smiling.

"How did I get so lucky??."

Applejack shook her head.

"No. Ah'm the lucky one and don't chu worry. Ah'll never leave you. Ah promise, because you're worth it. No matter what, we'll make this work and we'll be there for each other and accept each other the way we are."

Rainbow hugged Applejack tightly, Applejack hugging back just as tight. She kissed her cheek.

"I love you so much."

Applejack pulled away. She smiled at her.

"Ah love you more."

Hearing those words, in her heart Rainbow knew it was true.

So yeah. That was extremely long. So comment what you think :)