Warning: this has suicide attempt and thoughts. Do not read if this will trigger you. Also this is my first suicide one shot. Hope you like it.

Rainbow Dash looked down at the water below. Her cold fingers gripped the steel beams of the bridge tightly. She stared down. How did it come to this??.

Oh yeah. I'm crazy.

Rainbow had been suffering of depression for the past few months. She hadn't told anyone. None of her friends and not her girlfriend Applejack.

Rainbow felt tears rise and the thought of Applejack. She could only imagine Applejack right now. Finding her suicide note that she left on the bed at home.

Rainbow let out a sigh, a cloud of mist escaping her lips. The cold bit at her skin like needles but she ignored the cold. She had grown use to feeling cold. The teen looked up at the beautiful night sky.

What a nice night. The perfect night to die. This would be the last thing you see.

Rainbow shook her head. She sat down on the cold metal. The wind wrapped around her in a chilly blanket.

She was decided to just sit there for a bit and think about her life. Then she changed her mind. She was do a verbal diary/ last words kind thing. Okay she's lying to herself. She wad really trying to gather up the courage to jump. Point was she was gunna think outloud for a while.

"My parents abandoned me as a baby so I don't know who they are. The man that took me in was abusive after my mom died and he was mean and just a jerk".

Rainbow felt her heart sink at the memory of her "father".

"Um. I don't remember her much but...... I know she loved me more than anyone I've ever known. But I'll be with her soon so that's good".

Rainbow felt tears rise up. She looked out into the horizon.

"I wonder what the girls are gunna do when they find out. They're gunna probably be relieved that I'm not around anymore".

Rainbow laughed quietly.

"Yeah. I guess the girls would do just fine without me around to annoy them and be a bother and hold them back".

"I'm gunna miss Pinkie pie. If there's one thing I could say to you is...... don't stop laughing and smiling. Keep being yourself and don't let anything take your bubbly hyper personality away. It makes you awesome and I love it when you're hyper and happy and giggly and all. It's fun. Do me a favor. Make the girls smile for me. Everyday Make them laugh and smile, just like you do anyways".

Rainbow smiled softly.

"Um Fluttershy. What can I say about you??. You've been my best friend since junior flight school. We were always there for eachother. Even if you're scared of your own shadow sometimes, you can be the bravest person I know. You could stand up to a dragon if you had to save your friends".

Rainbow let out a giggle at the thought. She sniffled.

"Rarity. Gosh. I know we're not exactly twins or sisters. Trying on dresses annoys me to no end but I do it because it makes you happy. I've always liked it when you make cool outfits for us. Applejack doesn't like it but I always we looked 20% cooler. Though lately, I couldn't give two shits about clothes. I walk around my house in my boxers, a sports bra and a sweater".

Rainbow blinked away tears that she refused to shed.

"It's actually really comfortable".

Rainbow sighed. She was not gunna cry.

"Twilight. Oh my gosh. You are one the dorkiest eggheads I've ever known. But in a good way. Don't stop being smart and don't stop reading those books. You're gunna go far kid".

"And uh please. Take care of Scootaloo for me. That kid needs someone. I could never be the role model she needs. I'm too screwed up in the head. You girls are normal. That's good. I'm not normal. I'm crazy. So make sure she stays on a good path. Tell her I love her".

Rainbow sniffled. She began to shiver. She couldn't feel her finger tips anymore.

"Wow. It's cold. I can't feel my fingers anymore".

She giggled brokenly.

"Applejack. Oh god. Applejack".

Rainbow ran her fingers through her hair.

"I love you so much AJ. These past 2 years we've been together have been amazing. Don't blame yourself for me doing this. It's not you. It's not your guys's fault. It's mine".

Rainbow sniffled. "I want you to know that I love you and I want you to move on and love someone else..I don't care how long it takes. Just find someone who isn't crazy or depressed or holding you back. You deserve more than anything I could give you and....... I'll miss you most of all".

Rainbow slowly got to her feet. She gripped the support beams tightly. Part of her was numb. Then again, she had always felt numb. On the inside.

"All in all girls. I love you".

A sob escaped her.

"I don't want to do this. I really don't. But I'm just so tired. Tired of feeling worthless and lonely and it's my fault but-".

Rainbow shrugged as the tears ran down her face.

"I can't anymore".

Wiping the tears away, Rainbow Dash cleared her throat.

"Maybe it won't hurt. You girls will be happier without me".

Rainbow looked up at the sky.

"So stay strong and don't miss me. I wouldn't miss me. Forget about me and move on and be happy. I love you girls. Forever your friend, Rainbow Dash".

Rainbow was about to take a step when she was grabbed. Strong arms wrapped around her waist. Rainbow struggled against the person as she was pulled away from the edge.

"Let me go!!", she yelled. "This isn't any of your business. Leave me alone!!".

The girl was put down. Rainbow looked up. She saw the girls standing there. They all had tears in their eyes. They had been crying. Rainbow Dash looked at each of them. Pinkie, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity.

Rainbow then knew who was the one holding her. The teen slowly turned around. She stood ther frozen. Applejack.

The blonde had tears running down her face. Her tan skin was partially pale from the cold. Rainbow was silent. She didn't know what to say.

"I........ I understand if you're angry or disappointed in me".

Rainbow hung her head in shame. She sighed. Suddenly she was squeezed into a tight embrace. That surprised her. She was shocked for a moment. Applejack pulled away and looked at her.

"Don't chu dare do that again".

Applejack cupped Rainbow's face with cold warm hands. She stared at her girlfriend for a moment.

"We love you, okay??. We do".

The others came up to them.

"Rainbow Dash", Twilight said. "Why would you..... why??".

Rainbow sighed.

"I couldn't handle it anymore. The constant sadness and feeling worthless all the time. That stupid little voice in the back of my head won't shut up. I thought that this would be the only way to free myself from it. From the pain".

"Rainbow", Applejack said. "You're wrong. We would miss ya every single day and night. We would fall apart and we would not be better of without cha. Ah promise you that ah probably couldn't live without chu".

Applejack wiped Rainbow's tears away with her thumb.

"So don't tell us ta firget about chu because we wouldn't be able to. Ah wouldn't be able to. Ah know that fir a fact".

"Why didn't you tell us about yir depression??".

Rainbow shrugged. "I thought I was holding you guys back enough as it is. If I told you, you guys would worry and dote on me and waste your time on me when you should just let me get rid of myself. It would be better".

Applejack shook her head.

"No babe. It would not. We love you so much. Ah love you so much".

Applejack pulled her in for a hug. Rainbow slowly hugged back. Then she began to cling on her. She snuggled her face into Applejack's warm body.

"You do??".

Applejack nodded. "Ah really love you. Ah don't think you're crazy. None of us do. We still see you as Rainbow Dash. The best soccer player in the school and ah still see ya as mah beautiful girlfriend. It's not yir fault baby. It's ours fir not noticin".

Rainbow immediately back up. She shook her head.

"No it's not. I hid it from you girls. There would have been no way for you guys to know I have depression. No way. Don't blame yourself. You girls are the greatest friends I person could ever have. I'm the screw up here".

"You're not a screw up Rainbow", Rarity said. She walked up to the pair.
Rainbow looked at her. Rarity placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Did you feel like you couldn't tell us out of fear of us leaving you??".

Rainbow shyly nodded. Rainbow smiled kindly.

"Then you don't know us as well as you thought. We would never do that to any of us. Especially you. We love you and we always will".

Rainbow sniffled and nodded.

"Okay".

Applejack turned her around, taking her by the hands.

"Ah love you Rainbow. Always will and ah will freeze hell over if that meant you'd stay with me. You mean everythin to me. Your parents may not have loved you but we do. You are loved".

Rainbow looked down at the snow covered pavement. She felt a hand under her chin, guiding her head up. She looked at Applejack. The blonde wrapped her arms around her waist.

She leaned in nuzzle Rainbow gently. The two looked at eachother. Applejack kissed her. Rainbow closed her eyes, wrapping her freezing cold arms around her neck. Applejack's lips were warm against her cold ones.
She realized right then around and there that she wanted to live. She wanted to stay with them. With Applejack.

The kiss broke. Applejack looked at her. She took Rainbow's hands. She felt cold to the girl.

"You're ice cold".

Applejack felt her cheeks.

"You're freezin".

Rainbow shook in the cold. She looked down at her fingers. The fingertips were pink. Rainbow tried to get them to move but they stayed in place. She hugged herself. Applejack took in all of Rainbow Dash. The girl was shivering and ice cold. She immediately took off her hat and put it on Rainbow's head. She did the same with her scarf.

"I-I wanna go home".

Applejack nodded. She picked her up. They all walked down the bridge. At the end of it was a parked car.

The girls got in and they hurried to Rainbow and Applejack's house. They decided to all have a sleep over.

--------------------------------

The girls got Rainbow Dash all warmed up and gave her some soup to eat. The girl was quiet the whole time. Even when Applejack had to change her clothes for her when Rainbow couldn't move her legs. She was stuff from the cold.

Now she was in a pair of fuzzy pants and a long sleeved shirt with fuzzy socks and a cool blue hat. Rainbow was laying on her bed. A tear ran down her face. Then another.

Soon she was sobbing into her pillow.
"It's not fair", she cried.

She suddenly felt a hand on her back. Rainbow looked up. She saw Applejack sitting there. Rainbow sniffled. She sat up.

"Yeah??".

Applejack wiped her tears away.

"What's not fair??".

Rainbow sniffled. "That everyone else is happy but me. I want to be happy. I do. But I'm not".

Applejack sat on the bed, next to her.

"Well. Ah know something that will make you happy".

Rainbow looked at her for a second. Applejack held out a candy bar. Rainbow gasped. She smiled.

"I haven't had candy for months".

Applejack held out the candy to her. Rainbow took it and opened it and began to eat it. She closed her eyes.

"Oh that hits the spot".

Applejack smiled. She smoothed Rainbow's hair as she ate the candy. She watched with endearment as her girlfriend ate the candy she lived so much. She kept touching some part of her, whether or be her hair, her face, her thigh, her arm or her hand. She had to remind herself that Rainbow was still there.

"You wanna go watch a movie with the girls??. It's only 10".

Rainbow nodded. The two got up. Applejack held her hands as they went downstairs. The girls were getting the movie ready. They had popcorn and soda and pizza ready.

When didn't he pizza get there??.

Rainbow didn't question it. She just sat down on the end of the sofa. The girls put the movie in and turned the lights off. Applejack sat down next to Rainbow Dash. She wrapped an arm around her. Rainbow laid her head on Applejack's shoulder.

She liked this movie already.
----------------------------

The credits rolled onto the screen. The girls clapped and cheered.

"That was awesome", Pinkie said.

She looked at Rainbow Dash who was staring blankly at the screen.

"It was great", Rainbow said, with a straight face. "I loved it".

She looked down at the pizza crust still on her plate. She stared at it for a second.

"Wasn't there a slice of piece on there a minute ago??", she asked quietly.

"You ate it babe".

Applejack looked at the teen. Rainbow picked up the crust. She silently began to chew on it.

"I love pizza", she said. She ate the crust silently, the room quiet as could be.

She finished it and sighed.

"Honestly".

She looked up at the girls.

"This was the first night ever in the past year that I actually enjoyed".

The girls smiled.

"That's great", Twilight said. "We hope you enjoy alot of nights like this. I guess we might have to do movie night more often".

The girls smiled and nodded.

"Ah think we should all head ta sleep", Applejack said.

The girls all cleaned up. They out the extra pizza in the fridge and they went upstairs. Applejack and Rainbow Dash slept in their own room.

They shut the door and turned the light off and got into bed. Rainbow laid down. Applejack wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Hey Rainbow??".

Rainbow made a hmm noise.

"Ah love you".

Rainbow couldn't help the small smile going across her mouth.

"I love you too. Thanks Applejack. For everything".

Applejack kissed her forehead.

"Rainbow. We'll talk in a few days. We will never firget about this night. Ever. Especially me an you. But fir now, just remember we all love you".

Rainbow nodded. "Okay. I know that now. Umm I'm sorry".

"Don't worry about it. Just relax an go think a sleep".

Rainbow sighed. "For the past few weeks I've been having nightmares every night".

Applejack rubbed her back.

"Well. We'll help ya with that. Just try ta relax and listen to mah heartbeat. Ah know that always calms ya down".

Rainbow looked at her through the dark. She nodded. Applejack kissed her lips. Rainbow Dash smiled. Laying her head on Applejack's chest, she listens to the strong steady heartbeat. She smiled and relaxed, her body exhausted and mind. For the first time in a long time Rainbow could actually say that she was happy. She had hope.

She felt loved. She had always been loved. She just never saw it before but now she does. She was lucky to have these girls in her life.

Rainbow decided right there and then in Applejack's arms, loved and protected from all darkness and fears.

She wasn't going anyway.

So yeah. That was lonoooong. But uh hope you enjoyed this. I didn't mean to make it this long but it's whatever. So let me know what you think :)