A/N:
*Translations are on the footnote/ AN
Enjoy!

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THEY SAID DEATH WOULD BE TORMENTING, terrifying, and dark. I wondered why I felt the opposite. I wanted it... I took the risk. My wolf and I had separated.

To me, it meant peace and freedom from the cruel world of the living... It was my moment of darkness before the light.

The pain of losing air vanished. The density of the water was no longer pulling me down. Apollo's touch disappeared. I smiled knowing I would no longer have to bear the weight of an Alpha nor Luna.

I just wondered in the dusk when my torch of new life would be lit. I kept my faith, submitting to an endless sleep. It was quiet, serene...

I was in peaceful oblivion.

Seconds, minutes, and hours could've passed me by but I couldn't tell how long I had been there seeing nothing but thinking about everything in my life.

No images, no path, no family nor god showed up. Little by little I mused if I were in the underworld, ready to be set on fire by my demons... but still, no one came for me. Was I going to float around alone?

I felt like a useless essence, thrown in the middle of heaven and hell. But somehow, I was contented.

"Revenite..."

My hopes immediately sparked just as the voice faintly echoed around me. The long wait was over... he must be the messenger of the Creator... was he?

"Mihi enim vivere."

Looking for that little light and voice, I suddenly felt my weight returning. I could see my feet and limbs appearing. I watched carefully as my arms slowly showed in the midst of floating specks of light. Small creases on my palms turned to lines, each path made connections... I was being formed again.

"Hoc non est finis..."

I reappeared, blinded by the light that consumed me. I was arrested in a trance of life and death. Air filled my lungs, blood pumped hard in my heart, rushing and spreading out through my veins.

It was numbing then painful. A series of emotions ceaselessly returned. Spring, winter, and fall combined, a man clutched me by the throat, stepping forward, inching closer until the tip of our noses touched.

"Spiritus enim mihi."

I gasped, catching his breath. Eyes closed, the amount of air filled me in, sending me into another pool of darkness. How was it possible to have found the light and then be sent into oblivion again?

"Freya."

I blinked, feeling my hooded sight. Strength coursed through my body, my chest heaving up and down as I sat up, feeling a throbbing on my wrists.

I stared as the largest vein bulged; displaying the fast paced pumping of my blood. His smell wafted through the space. I knew the temperature was cold but it started warming instantly.

As if heaven and earth collided, life crashed back into me. I was sure moments ago I was dead... I was in the middle of dusk, a peaceful end...

...but he was here...

...I was here.

The miracle of life proved to be an enigma, forcing its way towards my body. A hot tear fell from my eye as reality slapped me immodestly.

"No..." I clenched my fists. "No... No. No!"

"This isn't real!"

All I could ask was why... Why was I here?

I cried, feeling the tightening of my chest. Grasping the cloth of a white bed I found myself in, I thrashed out and screamed my frustration. The pent up emotions exploded. I was falling into pieces like a house of cards, wanting to rip everything apart.

"No! This isn't happening!"

"Get me out of here! Please get me out of here!"

I almost choked with the muffled cries. A short burn visited my flesh as I clenched my fists.

"Freya, calm down. You're alive. You're here," he said, his eyes turning gold. My body felt weak, it was true but I refused to believe him.

"I was dead! I- I was lost but I wanted to be there... I don't want this... I don't want this!"

My cries turned into screams. I was free from him and all I desired was to be in that oblivion again. This was worse than death. Why was it so unfair?

I found my escape... but why? Why did he breathe life back into me?

"You... You did this..." I hissed, my tears falling endlessly. I glared at him, sending him the vile complaints. Was he the one who spoke to me? Who revived me?

"Why?" I spat. "It was you, wasn't it?" I could no longer hold back being upset. I didn't care if he was someone of high authority, more so, my mate. I could hate him 'til eternity runs its course.

"I was dead! I. Was. Free!" I lunged at him, pouring my anger with each punch of my fists against his chest.

I hated how composed he stood before me, eyes not even flickering with emotion for a second. He was evil and selfish. I sobbed, hitting him harder but slowing down knowing he wouldn't budge. He was only taking it, not minding the hurt I was incurring.

I stopped, muffling my cries. My heart was torn apart, wishing for death to eat me whole just once more. I even begged to whoever god was listening to give me another chance to be an essence again, even if I'd have to live in the dark... just not here.

"I don't want to be here..."

I cried in his chest, clutching his shirt. My body shook wanting to find release. It was hard enough to handle that volcano of emotions. Anger, sadness, and fear mixed up. I knew this second life was not a miracle but a curse. Just how unlucky was I going to be even in the new breath of dawn?

He just watched me cry until my voice unconsciously subsided, urging him to bring his hands up to hold my wrists. It wasn't demanding, rather, gentle. But who was I kidding? This was all his fault!

Willing my claws out, I tried to lash my wrists out of his grip. I scowled at him and bared my teeth. He stared me down and kept me steady, my wrists starting to numb as his grip only tightened.

"That's enough, Freya. Accept it," he spoke.

"Good riddance! I will never submit to you nor accept a life with you! Consider me dead. I am useless-

"I said enough!" he growled.

I found his brows furrowing in distaste. He closed his eyes for a second and I took this as an opportunity to gather my new found strength to release myself from his grip.

In a blink of an eye, I clawed him and watched him, wanting to snap his neck and offer his head to the moon goddess. Hate was a big word but he deserved every inch, every letter. Succeeding in my attempt to injure him, thick blood flowed all over his chest. Distracted, he captured one of my wrists with one hand but my mind worked under the adrenaline rush.

I jerked my body, slamming my chest against him. Up on my knees, I gripped his hair, fingers quickly sliding down to clutch the back of his neck. He stood struggling to push me back down on the bed.

I admit, he was indeed strong but I felt stronger. Under my palm was his largest vein and under my fingers was his spine. In a span of a quick millisecond, I twisted his neck. He was growling and scraping his hands against my ribs. The medal of valor was mine... I felt no pain and found release. Both hands free, I held his throat.

Crack.

His eyes closed while mine watched him. The black orbs were dead as the night. I was panting, feeling my legs weaken as tears involuntarily rolled down my cheeks.

It was over. He was dead.

I killed him.

Nothing I would regret but my strength collapsed. My body reached its limits. Releasing him, my arms fell limp on my sides. I slumped on my bottom before I closed my eyes.

A deep- seated pain instantly thrived in me. My mind was blank, fogging up with a thin air of sadness. Feeling my chest rising heavily, perplexity engulfed me.

In a flash, an ache coursed through my heart. It was a monster, stealing my breath, devouring me.

"Ego sum Mortem."

It was fearful and painful- a drop of acid in a wound. There was no cure to that pain. It was as if my life was harshly being sucked out of me.

I was protective of my heart, it feared the impending pain. Crossing my arms against my chest, my sobs were caught up in my throat.

"Tu es dimidia."

I couldn't understand. That voice... that voice was owned by only him. How?

"Look at me," he growled and I snapped my eyes open, seeing him back to life.

This was a nightmare. He was the devil. He grabbed my jaws with one hand and his eyes glinted with specks of gold. I cowered in fear but I watched him. The terrifying sight was obnoxiously punishing.

"I gave you life, wasn't it enough? You even dared to kill me with your own hands. You are an ungrateful and irrelevant woman," he hissed, it was lethal.

"I don't want this." I placed a palm over my beating heart. I found my voice despite his anger. Never had I seen such strong aura. It wasn't normal and it was daunting. I gulped as his eyes danced in displease.

"And you think I want this?" he lashed. I stiffened and felt my tears brimming.

"I sacrificed something larger than your life. But you are of use to me. You were mistaken. I need you just as much as you need me. Attempt to take your life once more but you won't succeed. Your role isn't done yet."

I was stunned. He was ready to pull me with him in the darkness of his life. I felt confused with his words but nothing much registered in my brain aside from the fact that his ego was deflating in front of me.

I growled, my mind surging to protest. "You are selfish!"

He smirked. "Who wouldn't be? Our threads were weaved together. Would you even dare put your wolf in abhorrence just to kill me? Didn't it ever cross your mind that I could've killed you the first time we met if I didn't need anything from this?"

I was insulted beyond words. I was his little chess piece. I had confirmed. He had no heart. He was empty and hollow inside. He was a shell of depravity. He was silver. He was the darkest of souls.

I looked down and spread my palms out for me to see. Threads? He believed in fates intertwining our lives. I scoffed at my self and felt stupid.

So he needed me? For what? What was my purpose? He sure had plans. I could tell he had great ambitions that were grim.

"So you're telling me now that I have significant purpose? May I remind you how you called me irrelevant just a few minutes ago? How am I supposed to believe you?" I chuckled, taunting him. I started feeling lowly of myself. My mate was keeping me only for his sanity. What a disgrace!

Somehow there was a pause after my laugh of self- pity.

"Using my words against me won't hurt me in anyway, little wolf." He lifted my chin up. I glanced at him, seeking something from his enigmatic eyes. Gold. His eyes were most of the time gold just like mine.

"Ask me," he said. I was a sunken ship. The treasure was mine and he was offering the lock to that heavy chest. In too deep, his mere existence was drowning me, pulling me to the edge of curiosity.

"What do you need me for? What are your plans? I am an Alpha but I never wanted anything more than to lead my pack. You want something don't you? So why? Just why did you save me?" I posed those questions with pure confusion I needed to clear.

I could attempt to kill myself or him over and over again but the odds would always be by his side. That feeling felt certain. I would only get tired. I would be branded senseless, rash, and stupid.

"I want revenge. I want to get what's mine," he mused. "I am an Alpha who wants to crush the moon, Freya. I want her to cry before me and beg me on her knees."

He was shameless.

"And you are her mistake, Freya. The loophole of her plans." He moved closer, slowly hovering over me.

My back came in contact with the mattress as I swallowed hard, fighting the pull. We were one in thought, recognizing each other as the moon's mistake.

His hot breathe mingled with mine, my claws digging against the bed at his warmth. I stopped breathing for a second, shivering when his lips neared my ear.

"Pugnare mecum."

He spoke in that language again... The moon... It seemed as if they had the same way of communicating. In the midst of deciphering Apollo's words, I realized something I thought I would never think of- the moon didn't care for me.

From that war, she took every single most important part of my life... my father, my mom... my brother. For years I had been questioning her why? Why did she let me live? Now it was getting clearer. I was her mistake. Whatever dispute she and Apollo had, she was cruel enough to deprive me of my peace.

She must have been angry on that night I became Alpha that she bled. Blood red moon... Was she using me all this time?

I could taste Apollo's hatred. The spirit of vengeance was consuming him. He was starting to influence me. I was starting to see the other side of things- his perspective.

"Tell me, Apollo," I uttered under my breath. "Did she ever use me?"

He looked at me deeply, studying my expression. "She used us all for a mistake we didn't cause."

In some way, my mind cracked an immediate agreement with him. That knowledge somewhere at the back of my mind surfaced. It was obscure and instantly vanished, but the feeling of seconding his notion remained.

"Vos anima mea."

I looked into his eyes and found myself getting lost in him.

"Be my bethroted." He whispered. "Vos anima mea, Freya."

"Salva animam tuam, Apollo."

Save your soul.

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Who updated? *raises hand* Me! Me! Me!

*Latin to English translations below* (Thanks google)

Revenite - Come back

Mini enim vivere - Live for me

Hoc non est finis - This is not your end

Spiritus enim mehi - Breathe for me

Ego sum mortem - I am Death

Tu es dimidia - You are my other half

Pugnare mucum - fight with me

Vos anima mea - You have my soul (Freya)

Salva animam tuam, Apollo - Save your soul, Apollo

So sorry for the delay but I made sure to finish this chapter with the plot weaved in it. It was so damn hard to get this out of my head. I've been thinking about it lately but I had no time to write because of my thesis book submission...

But hell yeah, I'm proud to say that I'm finally graduating this May! Bye college!

Hurray! I worked so hard for this degree.

Anyway, I hope I'm doing well in writing this book. If there are mistakes, I'm sorry, I haven't edited any of the chapters yet. I'm too lazy... forgive me.

Okay this has been long///

Thanks for reading.

Please make the star below your phone screen twinkle. It would put a smile on my face. :D I value your votes and comments.

Love,

Lady Therese