Let's see . . . I have an idea! OK, so the question for this round is . . . what is the Doctor's part in "The Day of the Apocalypse?" I'm not actually gonna reveal which Doctor it is, because I like making you guys suffer. ;)

This will last until . . . oh, we'll say "Amy's Choice." Can we get to 300 comments, everyone? Comment chains of 30 or more WILL NOT count!

So, onto what you've all been waiting on . . . "The Eleventh Hour!"

***

"Who's got the hook?" the Apocalypse called as she fiddled with a rope.

"Here," Jenny ran forward.

"Thank you," she took the grappling hook and tied it to the other end of the rope, then threw it up. The TARDIS doors opened, and the grappling hook flew out, giving them a rope to climb up. "Brilliant," she grinned, starting to haul herself up. Rose was right behind her, Jenny watching their backs.

When the Apocalypse hauled herself up to look out the doors, she found herself the focus of a ginger girl's torchlight beam. "Hello!" she grinned, sure she looked a mess with her tangled hair, soaking wet cardigan, and torn clothes. No skinny jeans for this her, then! "Could I have an apple?" she tilted her head. "All I can think about, apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving? That's new." She looked down. "Rose, have I ever had cravings before? I don't think I have."

"Can you move over?" Rose hissed, nearly up.

"Ah, yes," the Apocalypse sat herself on the edge of the TARDIS, then whistled when she realized just how much they'd climbed. "Whoa!" she grinned as Rose jumped out, helping pull Jenny up. "Look at that!"

"Are you OK?" the girl asked, staring at the three women that had just crashed into her backyard.

"Just had a fall," the Apocalypse brushed her hands off. "All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up."

"You don't say," Rose squeezed water out of her hair.

"You're soaking wet," the girl observed.

"We were in the swimming pool," Jenny nodded, wringing out her dress.

"You said you were in the library."

"Well, so's the swimming pool."

"Are you policemen?"

"Why?" the Apocalypse sat up straighter. "Did you call policemen?"

"Did you come about the crack in my wall?"

"What crack?" Rose asked, concerned.

"Ack!" the Apocalypse fell off the edge, right into the grass, groaning.

"Are you all right, miss?" the girl looked slightly scared as Rose hurried to check on her.

"No, I'm fine," the Apocalypse straightened up. "It's OK. It's all perfectly norm - " She hacked, and some of her regeneration energy misted out of her mouth.

"Who are you?" the girl asked.

"I'm Rose, and this is Jenny," Rose gestured between the two of them.

"And I don't know!" the Apocalypse grinned. "Still cooking. Does it scare you?"

"No," the girl looked her up and down. "It just looks a bit weird."

"No, no, no, the crack in your wall, does it scare you?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Well, then, no time to lose. I'm the Apocalypse. Do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions, and don't wander off."

Jenny giggled when the Apocalypse walked right into an overgrown tree. "Are you all right?" the little girl asked again.

The Apocalypse staggered to her feet. "Early days," she muttered. "Steering's a bit off. And overgrown branches," she tsked before snapping her fingers. In a flash, the tree was trimmed, and Rose squeaked and hurried away from the falling branches. "That's better," the Apoclaypse grinned, heading for the house.

"Well, that's new," Rose whispered to Jenny as they followed.

***

"You said you were the apocalypse," the girl said as she handed an apple to the Apocalypse. "Why does your box say police?"

The Apocalypse took a bite of the apple, then gagged violently, turning to spit accurately into the rubbish bin a few feet away. The girl blinked, stunned. "That's disgusting," the Apocalypse stuck out her tongue, making her look more childish than Jenny. "What is that?"

"An apple," Rose said slowly.

"Apples are rubbish. I hate apples."

"You said you loved them!" the girl stared at her.

"No, no, no, I like yogurt," the Apocalypse decided, tossing the apple over her shoulder, aiming for the bin again. Jenny snatched it out of the air and took a bite. "Yogurt's my favorite. Give me yogurt." The girl took a pot from the fridge and handed it over, but the Apocalypse had taken a single taste and immediately spat it out again. "I hate yogurt," she declared, wiping her mouth as Rose sighed, shaking her head. "It's just stuff with bits in."

"You said it was your favorite!" the girl protested.

"New mouth, new rules," the Apocalypse shook her head. "It's like eating after cleaning your teeth. Everything tastes wrong - AGH!"

"Caly!" the Apocalypse sprang to her side as she violently shuddered, twitching as well.

"What is it? What's wrong with her?" the girl asked as the Apocalypse panted.

"Wrong with me?" the Time Lady squeaked indignantly, even as Jenny giggled. "It's not my fault! Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish. Fry something!"

***

When the Apocalypse came back with a towel to dry her hair, she saw the girl frying. "Ah, bacon!" she grinned, taking the plate.

Rose just slid the rubbish bin over, already predicting what was going to happen. Sure enough, the Apocalypse spat the bacon out. "Bacon," she coughed, turning back to the Scottish girl as Jenny kept staring at her mother, stunned. Rose just rubbed her temples - this was almost worse than the Apocalypse being knocked out in a healing coma. "That's bacon." She narrowed her eyes at the ginger girl. "Are you trying to poison me?"

***

"Ah, you see?" the Apocalypse nodded in appreciation as the girl tried something else. "Beans."

When she had a taste, her eyes immediately bugged, and she spat the mouthful into the sink. "Beans are evil," she declared, straightening up. "Bad, bad beans."

***

"Bread and butter," she nodded as the girl slid a plate over. "Now you're talking." She took a bite, then stood up with the plate. She marched out the front door, and a moment later, Rose heard the door open, a whizzing sound, and a cat screech. "And stay out!" the Apocalypse shouted.

The ginger girl sighed and walked over to the fridge, looking through what she had. "We've got some carrots," she suggested meekly as the Apocalypse stormed back in.

"Carrots?" the Time Lady repeated. "Are you insane?"

"I think you are," Jenny eyed her warily.

"'Course I am, I've always been," the Apocalypse waved it off. "No, wait, hang on. I know what I need. I need, I need, I need . . . " She opened up all the doors and grinned, taking out two boxes. "Fish fingers and custard!"

Even Rose looked at her worriedly when she declared that.

***

But it seemed fish fingers and custard did indeed do the trick. As the Apocalypse munched happily on her fish fingers dipped in custard, the ginger girl served ice cream to the others. "Funny," she said as she watched the Apocalypse eat.

"Am I?" the Apocalypse asked, blinking. "Good. Funny's good. What's your name?"

"Amelia Pond," she answered.

"Oh, that's a brilliant name!" the Apocalypse grinned. "Amelia Pond, like a name in a fairy tale. Are we in Scotland, Amelia?"

"No. We had to move to England. It's rubbish."

"What about your mum and dad?" Rose asked, looking at the ceiling. "With the ruckus Caly made, I thought we'd've woken them by now."

"I don't have a mum and dad," Amelia sighed. "Just an aunt."

"I don't even have an aunt," the Apocalypse thought.

"I do!" Jenny grinned widely at Rose.

"You're lucky," Amelia directed this at the Apocalypse.

"So your aunt, where is she?" the Apocalypse wondered.

"She's out."

"And she left you all alone?" Rose asked, surprised.

"I'm not scared."

"'Course you're not," the Apocalypse shook her head. "You're not scared of anything. Box falls out of the sky, women fall out of a box, one eats fish custard, and you're just sitting there. So you know what I think?"

"What?"

The Apocalypse tossed the two empty boxes over her shoulder in sync, both of them accurately landing in the rubbish like before. "Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall."

***

"That's a hell of a crack," was all Rose could say as they looked at the long, w-shaped crack in Amelia's wall.

"You've had some cowboys in here," the Apocalypse remarked, walking over to take a look. "Not actual cowboys . . . though that can happen."

"I used to hate apples, so my mum put faces on them," Amelia said, walking up and holding an apple up to the Apocalypse.

She looked at it, then smiled at the face. "She sounds good, your mum," she said. "I'll keep it for later. This wall is solid, and the crack doesn't go all the way through it."

"So where's the draught coming from?" Jenny asked, frowning.

"Exactly," the Apocalypse grinned at her. "Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey. You know what the crack is?"

"A rip in the universe?" Rose suggested.

"What?" Amelia asked.

"It's a crack, though that's not far off," the Apocalypse pointed at Rose. " I'll tell you something funny. If you knocked this wall down, the crack would stay put, because the crack isn't in the wall."

"Where is it, then?"

"Everywhere, in everything. It's a split in the skin of the world. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched, pressed together right here in the wall of your bedroom. Sometimes, can you hear?"

"A voice," Amelia nodded. "Yes."

The Apocalypse leaned closer to listen, then beckoned her sister and daughter close. When Rose heard, she frowned. "Prisoner Zero?" she asked, surprised.

"Prisoner Zero has escaped," Amelia nodded. "That's what I heard. What does it mean?"

"It means that on the other side of this wall, there's a prison, and they've lost a prisoner," the Apocalypse stood up. "The only way to close the breach is to open it all the way. The forces will invert, and it'll snap itself shut. Or - "

"What?" Jenny frowned, seeing the look on her face.

The Apocalypse scratched her head. "You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?"

"Yes," Amelia groaned in annoyance.

"Everything's going to be fine," the Apocalypse told her, backing everyone up and aiming her sonic screwdriver at the crack.

The crack widened, sending bright light into the room. "Prisoner Zero has escaped," the voice said. "Prisoner Zero has escaped."

"Hello?" the Apocalypse walked forward, bending over to look. "Hello?"

A huge blue eye suddenly looked through the crack, making Amelia gasp. "What is that?" Rose stared.

A bolt of light hit the Apocalypse, making her double over, and the crack snapped shut. "There, you see?" the Apocalypse winced, standing back up. "Told you it would close. Good as new."

"What's that thing?" Amelia asked. "Prisoner Zero?"

"No, I think that was Prisoner Zero's guard," the Apocalypse checked her pockets. "Whatever it was, it sent me a message. Psychic paper, takes a lovely little message."

"Prisoner Zero has escaped," Jenny frowned, reading over her shoulder.

"But why tell us?" Rose frowned as well.

"Unless," the Apocalypse's eyes widened.

"Unless what?" Amelia looked at her.

"Unless Prisoner Zero escaped through here," the Apocalypse looked around. "But he couldn't have! We'd know!" She ran out into the hall, looking around. "It's difficult, brand new me," she muttered. "Nothing works yet. But there's something I'm missing, in the corner of my eye - "

She broke off suddenly, and Rose suddenly heard why. From outside, a bell began tolling. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" the Apocalypse ran down the stairs, the others hurrying to follow. "We've got to get back in there," the Apocalypse said in a rush as she peered into the TARDIS. "The engines are phasing. She's going to burn!"

"But it's just a box," Amelia frowned. "How can a box have engines?"

"It's a time machine," Jenny said promptly.

"What, a real one?" Amelia gasped. "You've got a real time machine?"

"Not for much longer, if I can't get her stabilized," the Apocalypse said. "Five minute hop into the future should do it."

"Can I come?"

They all looked at her. "I don't think it's safe enough," Rose shook her head.

"Not yet," the Apocalypse thought. "Five minutes. Give us five minutes. We'll be right back."

"People always say that," Amelia huffed.

"Does she act like most people?" Rose giggled.

"Trust me," the Apocalypse winked. "I'm the Apocalypse." She climbed onto the edge, helping Rose and Jenny up, then jumped into the TARDIS when they were barely settled. As they screamed, Amelia could still hear the Apocalypse shouting "Geronimo!" as they fell.

***

It was bright and sunny outside when the TARDIS returned to Amelia's backyard. "Amelia!" the Apocalypse shouted as she ran out, Rose still trying to get the TARDIS situated, Jenny not far behind her mother. "Amelia, I worked out what it was! I know what I was missing! You've got to get out of there!" She frowned when she found the house empty. "Amelia?" she looked around. "Amelia, are you all right? Are you there?" She knocked on Amelia's bedroom door as Jenny investigated downstairs. "Prisoner Zero's here! Prisoner Zero is here! Prisoner Zero is here! Do you understand me? Prisoner Zero is - !"

She heard a floorboard behind her, but before she could see what it was, she was hit hard on the back of the head and was knocked out.

***

"Of course she got bloody knocked out," Rose rolled her eyes as she and Jenny hid underneath the staircase, able to hear what was going on in the hallway above.

"White female, late twenties, breaking and entering," a Scottish woman said. "Send me some backup. I've got her restrained. Oi! You, sit still!"

"Cricket bat," the Apocalypse muttered, making Rose sigh in relief. At least she was awake. "I'm getting cricket bat."

"You were breaking and entering!"

"Well, that's much better. Brand new me, whack on the head. Just what I needed."

"Do you want to shut up now? I've got backup on the way."

"Hang on. No, wait . . . you're a policewoman."

"And you're breaking and entering. You see how this works?"

"But she never thought to look for us?" Jenny whispered.

"Shh," Rose held a finger to her lips.

"But what are you doing here?" the Apocalypse asked. "Where's Amelia?"

"Amelia Pond?" the woman asked, sounding suspicious.

"Yeah, Amelia, little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes, but the engines were phasing. I suppose I must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her?"

"Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time."

"How long?"

"Six months."

"Oh, good going," Rose groaned to herself, putting her head in her hands. At least it wasn't a year, but still! Five minutes to six months was practically equivalent to twelve months instead of twelve hours.

"No, no, no, no!" the Apocalypse groaned as well. "I can't be six months late! I said five minutes! I promised! What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond?"

"Sarge, it's me again," the woman said, obviously talking into a radio. "Hurry it up. This guy knows something about Amelia Pond."

"I need to speak to whoever lives in this house right now."

"I live here."

"But you're the police!"

"Yes, and this is where I live. Have you got a problem with that?"

"How many rooms?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"On this floor, how many rooms on this floor? Count them for me, now."

"Why?"

"Because it will change your life."

"Dramatic much, Caly?" Rose mumbled.

But the woman counted. "Five. One, two, three, four, five."

"Six," the Apocalypse said promptly.

"Six?"

"Look."

"Look where?"

"Exactly where you don't want to look, where you never want to look: the corner of your eye. Look behind you."

There was a startled gasp. "That's . . . that's not possible! How's that possible?"

"There's a perception filter all round the door. Sensed it the last time I was here, should've seen it."

"But that's a whole room. That's a whole room I've never even noticed!"

"The filter stops you noticing. Something came a while ago to hide. It's still hiding, and you need to uncuff me, now."

"Oh, she's got cuffs on, too?" Rose rolled her eyes. "Way to go, Caly."

"I don't have the key," the woman added. "I lost it."

"How can you have lost it?" the Apocalypse shrieked. "Stay away from that door! Do not touch that door! Listen to me, do not open that!" A moment later, she huffed. "Why does no one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to?"

"She keeps that attitude up, maybe," Rose muttered, making Jenny snicker.

"Again, my screwdriver, where is it?" the Apocalypse asked. "Gold thing, red at the end. Where did it go?"

"There's nothing here," the woman said.

"Whatever's stopped you seeing the room, what makes you think you could see it? Now, please, just get out?"

The woman spoke again, a few seconds later. "Gold, red at the end?"

"My screwdriver, yeah."

"It's here."

"Must've rolled under the door."

"Yeah, must have." Pause. "And then it must've jumped on the table."

"Get out of there!" the Apocalypse shouted. "Get out of there! Get out! Get out of there! What is it? What are you doing?"

"There's nothing here, but - "

"Corner of your eye!"

"What is it?"

"Don't try to see it. If it knows you've seen it, it will kill you. Don't look at it. Do not look." The woman screamed moments later. "Get out!" the Apocalypse finally shouted.

The door burst open, and Rose and Jenny ran up the stairs, deciding to finally help. "Give me that!" the Apocalypse snatched her screwdriver back, locking the door and then trying to get her cuffs off. "Come on, what's the bad alien done to you?" She smacked the device against her palm.

"Will that door hold it?" the woman eyed the door.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, of course," the Apocalypse rolled her eyes. "It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space. They're all terrified of wood!"

"Rude!" Rose growled.

"And not English!"

"What's that?" the woman squinted as bright light came from under the door. "What's it doing?"

"I don't know, getting dressed?" the Apocalypse tried one last time to get her cuffs off. "Run, just go! Your backup's coming, we'll be fine."

She winced. "There is no backup."

"Your radio's fake?" Rose stared at her.

"But aren't you a policewoman?" Jenny asked.

"I'm a kissogram!" the woman took off her hat, and long ginger hair fell down her back. As Rose stared at her, thinking about where she'd seen that color hair before, the door fell down, revealing a workman in overalls with a huge black dog. "But it's just - " the kissogram began.

"No, it isn't," the Apocalypse shook her head. "Look at the faces."

The man barked suddenly, making them all blink. "What was that?" Jenny asked, surprised.

"It's all one creature," the Apocalypse explained. "One creature disguised as two. Clever old multiform. A bit of a rush job, though. Got the voice a bit muddled, did you? Mind you, where did you get the pattern from? You'd need a psychic link, a live feed. How did you fix that?"

Rose squeaked when the man opened his mouth, revealing long, needle-like teeth. "Stay, boy!" the Apocalypse jumped to her feet, the cuffs broken, making the policewoman look at her, stunned. "Us and her, we're safe. Want to know why? She sent for backup!"

"I didn't send for backup!" she looked at the Apocalypse.

"Yeah, but he didn't know that!" Jenny looked at Prisoner Zero.

"OK, yeah, no backup," the Apocalypse tried again. "And that's why we're safe. Alone, we're not a threat to you. If we had backup, you'd have to kill us."

"Attention, Prisoner Zero," a deep voice like the one from Amelia's crack said, coming from the sky. "The human residence is surrounded. Attention, Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded."

"What's that?" Rose looked out the window, hoping to see something.

"Well, that would be backup," the Apocalypse winced. "OK, one more time. We do have backup, and that's definitely why we're safe."

"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated."

" . . . well, safe apart from . . . you know . . . incineration."

"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated."

"Run!" the Apocalypse took off down the stairs, the others behind her. "Run!"

"Kissogram?" Rose asked the woman as they ran.

"Yes, a kissogram!" the ginger glared back. "Work through it!"

"Why'd you pretend to be a policewoman?"

"She broke into my house! It was this or a French maid!"

"Well, yeah, the police would work better on her," Rose admitted, frowning at the thought of the French.

"What's going on?" the ginger marched up to the Apocalypse. "Tell me. Tell me!"

"An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house," the Apocalypse answered promptly as she walked up to the TARDIS. "Any questions?"

"Yes," all three women answered.

"Me, too." She tried to open the door, but failed. "No, no, no, no! Don't do that, not now!"

"What's she doing?" Jenny asked, concerned.

"She's still rebuilding," the Apocalypse sighed, running a hand through her tangled hair. "Not letting us in."

"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated."

"Come on," the kissogram said, heading off.

"No, wait, hang on," the Apocalypse noticed something, and Jenny turned to see her walk up to a garden shed. "Wait, wait, wait, wait. The shed. We destroyed that shed last time we were here, smashed it to pieces."

"So there's a new one," the kissogram said in annoyance. "Let's go."

"Yeah, but the new one's got old. It's ten years old at least." She licked it curiously, making Rose and Jenny grimace. "Twelve years," the Apocalypse stared at it in horror. "We're not six months late. We're twelve years late!"

"Oh, fantastic!" Rose groaned.

"He's coming," the kissogram looked over her shoulder, hearing a noise from the house.

"You said six months," Jenny frowned at her. "Why did you say six months?"

"We've got to go!"

"This matters," the Apocalypse walked up to her. "This is important. Why did you say six months?"

"Why did you say five minutes?" the woman spat at her, her English accent gone. In its place was a Scottish accent instead.

The Apocalypse's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Come on," Amelia spun and walked off.

" . . . what?"

"Come on!"

" . . . what?!"

"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated," the voice repeated itself as Rose dragged the Apocalypse after Amelia.

"You're Amelia," Rose said frankly when they caught up.

"And you're late," Amelia nodded.

"Amelia Pond," the Apocalypse still seemed to be trying to grasp that concept. "You're the little girl!"

"I'm Amelia, and you're late."

"What happened?"

"Twelve years."

"You hit me with a cricket bat!"

"Twelve years!"

"A cricket bat?"

"Twelve years and four psychiatrists."

"Four?" Rose stared at her, surprised.

"I kept biting them."

"What did they ever do to you?" Jenny blinked.

"They said you weren't real," Amelia shrugged.

"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat."

They all turned to look at an ice cream van, the message coming from its speakers. "No, no, no, come on! What? We're being staked out by an ice cream van?"

"What's that?" the Apocalypse asked as the message repeated itself. "Why are you playing that?"

"It's supposed to be Claire De Lune," the ice cream man shrugged, trying to fix the radio.

They looked around, seeing the message repeat from every electronic device. "Apocalypse, what's happening?" Amelia asked.

The Apocalypse just ran off, everyone else struggling to keep up.

***

"Hello!" the Apocalypse burst into the first house she saw, an elderly woman turning away from her television, the blue eye on it. "Sorry to burst in. We're doing a special on television faults in this area, also crimes. Let's have a look."

"I was just about to phone," the woman said as Rose and Jenny came in, Amelia in the rear. It's on every channel. Oh, hello, Amy, dear," she told Amelia. "Are you a policewoman now?"

"Well, sometimes," Amelia - Amy - shrugged.

"I thought you were a nurse."

"I can be a nurse."

"Or actually a nun?"

" . . . I dabble."

"Amy, who is your friend?"

"You're Amy?" the Apocalypse frowned, looking at Amy. "You were Amelia."

"Yeah? Now I'm Amy."

"Amelia Pond, that was a great name!"

"Bit fairytale."

"I know you, don't I?" the woman asked the Apocalypse. "I've seen you somewhere before."

"Not me, brand new face," the Apocalypse shook her head, then made a wacky one, making Rose wince. "First time on. And kissogram? Really?" she asked Amy.

"Hang on, you know what a kissogram is?" Rose frowned.

"Yes."

"No," Jenny shook her head.

"She goes around and kisses people while dressing up," the Apocalypse waved a hand. "You were a little girl five minutes ago."

"You're worse than my aunt," Amy frowned at her.

"I'm the Apocalypse. I'm worse than everybody's aunt." She winced. "And that is not how I'm introducing myself."

"Repetez. Le Prisonnier Zero wird der menschliche."

"OK, so it's everywhere, in every language," the Apocalypse nodded as she listened to the radio. "They're broadcasting to the whole world."

She stuck her head out the window suddenly. "What's up there?" Amy frowned. "What are you looking for?"

"OK," the Apocalypse came back in. "Planet this size, two poles, your basic molten core? They're going to need a forty percent fission blast." She walked up to a young man as he entered, he staring at her oddly. "But they'll have to power up first, won't they? So, assuming a medium sized starship, that's twenty minutes. What do you think, twenty minutes?" She casually stood on her toes, comparing her height to the man's, before settling back down. "Yeah, twenty minutes. We've got twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes to what?" Rose asked.

"Are you the Apocalypse?" the man asked, surprised.

The woman gasped. "She is, isn't she? She's the Apocalypse! The Raggedy Apocalypse. All those cartoons you did when you were little, the Raggedy Apocalypse. It's her!"

"Shut up!" Amy hissed.

"Cartoons?" Rose asked in amusement.

"Gran, it's her, isn't it?" the man asked. "It's really her!"

"Jeff, shut up!" Amy spat. "Twenty minutes to what?"

The Apocalypse watched the message repeat on the TV. "The human residence. They're not talking about your house. They're talking about the planet. Somewhere up there, there's a spaceship, and it's going to incinerate the planet. Twenty minutes to the end of the world."

***

"What is this place?" the Apocalypse looked around as they walked down the street. "Where are we?"

"Leadworth," Amy answered.

"Where's the rest of it?"

"This is it."

"Is there an airport?"

"No."

"A nuclear power station?"

"No."

"Even a little one?"

"No."

"Nearest city?"

"Gloucester, half an hour by car."

"We don't have half an hour. Do we have a car?"

"No."

"Well, that's good," the Apocalypse huffed. "Fantastic, that is. Twenty minutes to save the world, and I've got a post office . . . and it's shut. What is that?" she pointed.

"It's a duck pond," Amy answered.

"With no ducks?" Jenny frowned.

"Why aren't there any ducks?" the Apocalypse wondered.

"I don't know," Amy shook her head. "There's never any ducks."

"Then how do you know it's a duck pond?"

"It just is! Is it important, the duck pond?"

"Are you OK?" Rose took the Apocalypse's arm as she doubled over.

"I don't know," the Apocalypse wheezed. "Why would I know? This is too soon. I'm not ready. I'm not done yet."

"Mum?" Jenny looked up. "The sun's going out."

"What're they doing to the sun?" Amy stared as a dark disc covered it up.

"Nothing," the Apocalypse straightened, looking up. "You're looking at it through a forcefield. They've sealed off your upper atmosphere. Now they're getting ready to boil the planet. Oh, and here they come," she sighed, watching everyone in the area take out their phones. "The human race. The end comes, as it was always going to, down a video phone."

"This isn't real, is it?" Amy asked. "This is some kind of big windup."

"Why would we wind you up?" Rose frowned.

"You told me you had a time machine!"

"And you believed me," the Apocalypse pointed out.

"Then I grew up."

"Oh, you never want to do that," the Apocalypse shook her head, then frowned. "No. Hang on. Shut up. Wait. I missed it. I saw it, and I missed it. What did I see? I saw . . . what did I see? I saw, I saw, I saw . . . " She looked around the green, then grinned. "Twenty minutes," she checked her watch, then whooped. "I can do it! Twenty minutes, the planet burns. Run to your loved ones and say goodbye, or stay and help us," she told Amy.

Amy stared at her, then said, "No."

All three Time Ladies blinked. "I'm sorry?" the Apocalypse sputtered.

"No!" Amy grabbed the tattered remains of her scarf and yanked her off.

"Amy, no, no, what are you doing?" the Apocalypse tried to get free, Rose and Jenny sprinting after her. Amy just slammed her scarf in a car door, taking the keys of the car owner and locking the car. "Are you out of your mind?" the Apocalypse tried to get the scarf free, starting to regret having tied it so tightly.

"Who are you?" Amy demanded.

"You know who I am!"

"No, really, who are you?"

"Look at the sky!" the Apocalypse pointed. "End of the world, twenty minutes!"

"Well, better talk quickly, then."

"Amy, I am going to need my car back," the car owner began.

"Yes, in a bit," Amy waved him off. "Now go and have coffee."

He paused. "Right, yes."

The Apocalypse was thinking, trying to figure out what she could use to convince Amy, when Rose's eyes lit up. "Hang on," she dug through the Apocalypse's cardigan pockets, then tossed something to Amy. "Catch!"

The Apocalypse beamed as Amy caught the apple with the carved face, staring at it, still fresh. "I'm the Apocalypse," she said as Amy looked at her, stunned. "This is my sister, Rose Tyler. That's my daughter, Jenny. We're time travelers. Everything I told you twelve years ago is true. We're real. What's happening in the sky is real, and if you don't let me go right now, everything you've ever known is over." And she didn't want to completely freak Amy out, either, so she refrained from using her powers right now.

"I don't believe you," Amy whispered.

"Just twenty minutes. Just believe me for twenty minutes. Look at it, fresh as the day you gave it to me, and you know it's the same one. Amy, believe for twenty minutes."

Amy stared at her, long and hard, then unlocked the door. "What do we do?" she asked as the Apocalypse took the scarf off and stuffed it in her pocket.

"Stop that nurse," the Apocalypse pointed to a man taking photographs. Not of the sun, but of the people.

Jenny instantly sprinted over, the Apocalypse not far behind. "Hi!" Jenny grinned at the man, who did a double take.

"The sun's going out, and you're photographing a man and a dog," the Apocalypse said the moment she arrived. "Why?"

"Amy!" he grinned when he saw the ginger.

"Hi!" Amy smiled. "Oh, this is Rory. He's a friend."

"Boyfriend," Rory corrected.

"Kind of boyfriend."

"Kind of boyfriend?" Rose knitted her eyebrows.

"Amy," Rory began.

"Man and dog," the Apocalypse emphasized. "Why?"

"Oh, my God, it's her," Rory's jaw dropped.

"Just answer her question, please," Amy sighed.

"It's her, though, the Apocalypse, the Raggedy Apocalypse!"

"Yeah, she came back."

"But she was a story. She was a game!"

"Man and dog," the Apocalypse jabbed his shoulder with each word, making him wince. "Why? Tell me now."

"Please?" Rose asked nicely, giving her sister a look. The Apocalypse just grinned sheepishly. Apparently, this her was a lot less patient, too.

"Sorry," Rory cleared his throat. "Because he can't be there. Because he's - "

"In a hospital, in a coma," the Apocalypse and Rory said at the same time.

"Yeah," Rory stared at her, surprised she had said that.

"Knew it," the Apocalypse grinned smugly. "Multiform, you see? Disguise itself as anything, but it needs a life feed. A psychic link with a living, but dormant mind." She raised an eyebrow as the man with his dog barked at them, and she smirked. "Hello, Prisoner Zero."

"What?" Rory blinked. "There's a Prisoner Zero, too?"

"Yes," Amy nodded.

One of the eyeball spaceships flew overhead, and the Apocalypse pointed. "See? That ship up there is scanning this area for nonterrestrial technology. And nothing says nonterrestrial like a sonic screwdriver." She smirked as she held it up, making streetlights explode, car alarms go off, and a fire engine drive off on its own, siren wailing. "I think someone's going to notice, don't you?" A telephone box exploded, then so did her screwdriver. "No, no!" she shouted, banging it against her hand. "No, don't do that!"

"It's going," Jenny pointed.

"No, come back!" the Apocalypse shouted at the ship, as if it was going to magically hear her. "He's here! Come back! Prisoner Zero is here! Come back! He's here! Prisoner Zero is - "

"Caly!" Rose shouted, making her turn, just in time to see Prisoner Zero turn into some sort of liquid and go down a drain.

"Oh, of course," the Apocalypse huffed angrily, pouting like a child.

"What do we do now?" Amy asked.

"It's hiding in human form," the Apocalypse paced, unable to stay still. "We need to drive it into the open. No TARDIS, no screwdriver, seventeen minutes. Come on, think, think!"

"So that thing, that hid in my house for twelve years?" Amy pointed at the drain.

"Multiforms can live for millennia," the Apocalypse nodded. "Twelve years is a pit stop."

"So how come you show up again on the same day that lot do, the same minute?"

"They're looking for him, but they followed me. They saw me through the crack, got a fix. They're only late because I am."

"Funny how that works," Rose sighed. "Why can't you get a break?"

"I don't know."

"What're they on about?" Rory looked at Amy.

"Nurse boy, give me your phone," the Apocalypse held out her phone.

"How can she be real?" Rory frowned. "She was never real."

"Phone. Now. Gimme."

"She was just a game! We were kids! You tried to make me dress up as her!"

The Apocalypse gave up and beckoned with her fingers. Rory's phone flew into her hand, and she flipped through the pictures as Amy and Rory stared at her. "Sorry," Rose smiled uneasily. "She's a bit impatient."

"But she just - !" Rory stared at his hand.

"That's a usual occurrence."

"These photos," the Apocalypse held his phone up. "They're all coma patients?"

"Yeah."

"No, they're all the multiform," the Apocalypse looked again. "Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero."

"He had a dog, though," Amy frowned. "There's a dog in a coma?"

"Well, the coma patient dreams he's walking a dog. Ergo, Prisoner Zero gets a dog. Laptop!" she looked up suddenly. "Your friend, what was his name? Not him, he's much better looking."

Rory blinked, touched when the Apocalypse pointed at him. "Thanks," he said, genuinely pleased as Rose and Jenny smiled, happy she'd complimented him.

"Well, not as good looking as my husband, he'll beat anyone anyday."

"That I can believe," Rory nodded.

"Jeff," Amy offered the name.

"He had a laptop in his bag," the Apocalypse nodded. "A laptop. Big bag, big laptop. I need Jeff's laptop. You two, get to the hospital. Get everyone out of that ward. Clear the whole floor. Phone me when you're done."

Amy dragged Rory off as the Time Ladies went in another direction.

***

"Hello!" the Apocalypse said as she barged into Jeff's room, startling him. "Laptop. Gimme."

"No, no, no, no, wait!" Jeff scrambled to keep his laptop.

The Apocalypse just beckoned with her hands, and the laptop flew into them. "Thank you," she smiled sweetly, sitting down. She instantly made a disgusted face when she saw what Jeff was looking at. "Blimey!" she minimized that browser. "Get a girlfriend, Jeff!"

"What was he looking at?" Jenny asked, confused, as Rose shook her head, Jeff blushing.

"Gran!" Jeff groaned as his grandmother entered.

"What are you doing?" his grandmother asked the Apocalypse.

"The sun's going wibbly, so right now, somewhere out there, there's going to be a big old video conference call," the Apocalypse answered, working on the laptop. "All the experts in the world panicking at once, and do you know what they need? Me. Ah!" she grinned as she found the conference. "And here they all are. All the big boys: NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Center, Patrick Moore - "

"I like Patrick Moore," Jeff's grandmother said.

"I'll get you his number," the Apocalypse winked. "But watch him. He's a devil."

"You can't just hack in on a call like that!" Jeff protested.

"Can't I?" the Apocalypse asked smugly, doing just that.

Six faces appeared, and the Apocalypse held up her psychic paper. "Who are you?" Moore asked.

"This is a secure call," someone else said. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello," the Apocalypse said. "Yeah, I know you should switch me off, but before you do, watch this."

"It's here, too," Moore said as the Apocalypse worked. "I'm getting it."

"Fermat's Theorem, the proof. And I mean the real one. Never been seen before. Poor old Fermat, got killed in a duel before he could write it down. My fault. I volunteered to chaperone my brother and his boyfriend and slept in afterwards."

"When was this?" Rose looked at her, surprised.

"No idea," the Apocalypse waved it off. "But here's an oldie, but a goodie. Why electrons have mass. And a personal favorite of mine: faster than light travel with two diagrams and a joke. Look at your screens. Whoever I am, I'm a genius. Look at the sun. You need all the help you can get. Fellas, pay attention."

"Ma'am, what are you doing?" NASA asked.

"I'm writing a computer virus," the Apocalypse answered, working. "Very clever, super fast, and a tiny bit alive, but don't let on. And why am I writing it on a phone? Never mind. You'll find out. OK, I'm sending this to all your computers. Get everyone who works for you sending this everywhere. Email, text, Facebook, Bebo, Twitter, radar dish, whatever you've got. Any questions?"

"Who's your lady friend?" Moore asked, seeming to look past her.

The Apocalypse huffed. "Patrick, behave."

"What does this virus do?" one man asked.

"It's a reset command, that's all. It resets counters. It gets in the Wi-Fi and resets every counter it can find. Clocks, calendars, anything with a chip will default at zero at exactly the same time. But yeah, I could be lying. Why should you trust me? I'll let my best man explain." She nudged Jeff. "Jeff, you're my best man."

"You what?" he blinked at her.

"Listen to me, in ten minutes, you're going to be a legend. In ten minutes, everyone on that screen is going to be offering you any job you want. But first, you have to be magnificent. You have to make them trust you and get them working. This is it, Jeff, right here, right now. This is when you fly. Today's the day you save the world."

"Why me?"

"It's your bedroom," the Apocalypse shrugged, clapping him on the back and handing him the laptop. "Now go, go, go!" She ran out with Rose and Jenny, then quickly ran back. "Oh, and delete your Internet history," she suggested before winking and leaving.

***

Rose looked at Rory's phone when Amy called, then answered. "Hello?"

"Rose?" Amy asked. "We're at the hospital, but we can't get through."

Rose frowned, thinking, then laughed. "Look in the mirror!"

A moment later, she heard Amy laugh as well. "Are you on your way? You're going to need a car."

"Oh, trust me," Rose held up the phone as the Apocalypse grinned, turning on the siren of the fire truck they'd gotten. "We've got a vehicle."

"Is this overboard?" Jenny asked as she watched them zoom past others.

"Nah," the Apocalypse grinned as she drove. "I haven't crashed yet, have I?"

"Don't push your luck," Rose laughed.

The phone rang again, but the Apocalypse answered this time. "Are you in?"

"Yep," Amy answered. "But so's Prisoner Zero."

"You need to get out of there." She heard people talking, but then she heard Rory gasp, then the slamming of doors. "Amy? Amy, what's happening? Amy, talk to me!"

"We're in the coma ward, but it's here. It's getting in."

The Apocalypse craned her neck as they approached the hospital. "Which window are you?"

"What, sorry?"

"Which window?" she repeated.

"First floor, on the left, fourth from the end."

The Apocalypse aimed, then sent a quick text to Amy. The ladder crashed through the window, then she jumped into the ward, seeing Amy and Rory staring at her, stunned. "Right, hello!" she grinned as Rose and Jenny climbed in. "Am I late? No," she checked her watch. "Three minutes to go. So, still time."

"Time for what, Time Lady?" the mother of the new Prisoner Zero form asked.

"Take the disguise off," the Apocalypse answered. "They'll find you in a heartbeat. Nobody dies."

"The Atraxi will kill me this time. If I am to die, let there be fire."

"OK, you came to this world by opening a crack in space and time. Do it again. Just leave."

"I did not open the crack."

The Apocalypse frowned. "Somebody did."

"The cracks in the skin of the universe. Don't you know where they came from?" The Apocalypse and Rose exchanged glances. "You don't, do you?" She laughed, changing into a little girl's voice. "The Apocalypse in the TARDIS doesn't know, doesn't know, doesn't know!" Her voice changed back. "The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall."

The Apocalypse grinned. "And we're off! Look at that," she pointed to a clock reading all zeros. "Look at that! yeah, I know, just a clock, whatever. But do you know what's happening right now? In one little bedroom, my team are working, Jeff and the world. And do you know what they're doing? They're spreading the word all over the world, quantum fast. The word is out, and do you know what the word is? The word is Zero. Now, me, if I was up in the sky in a battleship, monitoring all Earth communications, I'd probably take that as a hint, and if I had a whole battle fleet surrounding the planet, I'd be able to track a simple old computer virus to its source in . . . what, under a minute? The source, by the way, is right here." She waved Rory's phone, and a bright light came from outside. "Oh, and I think they just found us!" the Apocalypse grinned.

"The Atraxi are limited," Prisoner Zero hissed. "While I'm in this form, they'll still be unable to detect me. They've tracked a phone, not me."

"Yeah, but this is the good bit," the Apocalypse grinned, holding up her fingers. "I mean, this is my favorite bit. Do you know what this phone is full of? Pictures of you. Every form you've learned to take, right here. Ooo, and being uploaded about . . . now!" She grinned. "And the final score is . . . no TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare . . . who da man?" she held out her arms. She took a moment to realize everyone was giving her blank stares, Rose trying very hard not to laugh. "Oh, I'm never saying that again," she pouted. "Fine."

"Then I shall take a new form," Prisoner Zero lifted its chin.

"Oh, stop it. You know you can't. It takes months to form that kind of psychic link."

"And I've had years."

Amy collapsed suddenly, her eyes closing. "No!" the Apocalypse ran over to her. "Amy! You've got to hold on."

"Amy, stay awake," Rose shook her. "Don't fall asleep . . . somehow."

"Apocalypse," Rory stared over her shoulder.

The Apocalypse looked where he was to see where Prisoner Zero was, there was now a woman with long, matted brown hair wearing muddy clothes that looked like they were red and white... "Well, that's rubbish," she remarked. "Who's that supposed to be?"

"That's you," Jenny answered.

"Me?" she asked in surprise, looking herself over. "Is that what I look like?"

"You don't know?" Rory asked, surprised.

"Busy day. Why me, though? You're linked with her. Why are you copying me?"

"I'm not," Amelia's voice said, and the little ginger girl came around, holding the Prisoner Zero Apocalypse's hand. "Poor Amy Pond. Still such a child inside. Dreaming of the magic Apocalypse she knows will return to save her. What a disappointment you've been."

"No," the Apocalypse shook her head. "She's dreaming about me because she can hear me." She crouched down. "Amy, don't just hear me, listen," she said. "Remember the room, the room in your house you couldn't see. Remember you went inside. I tried to stop you, but you did. You went in the room. You went inside. Amy, dream about what you saw."

"No," Amelia trembled as Prisoner Zero's form flickered. "No! No!"

Prisoner Zero transformed back, and the Apocalypse smirked. "Well done, Prisoner Zero. A perfect impersonation of yourself."

"Prisoner Zero is located," the Atraxi announced as bright light hit them. "Prisoner Zero is restained."

"Silence, Apocalypse," Prisoner Zero hissed. "Silence will fall!"

The alien disappeared in a rush of wind, and more light came in. "The sun," Rory looked out the window. "It's back to normal, right? That's . . . that's good, yeah? That means it's over!" Amy suddenly woke up, and he ran to her. "Amy, are you OK? Are you with us?"

"What happened?" Amy mumbled, blinking.

"Mum did it," Jenny grinned.

"No, I didn't," the Apocalypse shook her head, dialing a number on Rory's phone.

"What are you doing?" Rory frowned.

"Tracking the signal back. Sorry in advance."

"About what?"

"The bill." The Apocalypse put the phone to her ear. "Oi!" she growled, Amy freezing at the changed voice, Rose wincing as she recalled the Time Lady Victorious. "I didn't say you could go! Article 57 of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established level five planet, and you were going to burn it? What, did you think no one was watching? You lot, back here, now." She ended the call and tossed the phone perfectly over her shoulder, right into a stunned Rory's hands. "OK," she winced. "Now I've done it."

"Did she just bring them back?" Rory sputtered as the Apocalypse headed for the doors, Rose and Jenny scurrying after her, Amy soon following. "Did she just save the world from aliens and then bring all the aliens back again?"

"Where are you going?" Amy asked as they walked.

"The roof," the Apocalypse answered, then stopped when she saw a room nearby. "No, hang on."

Rose blinked, surprised, as they entered the locker room for the doctors. "What's in here?"

"I'm saving the world, and I need a decent outfit," the Apocalypse started looking through clothes. "To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show!"

"You just summoned aliens back to Earth," Rory tried to understand as the Apocalypse tossed off her cardigan, Jenny catching it. "Actual aliens, deadly aliens, aliens of death . . . "

"Oh, give me a few minutes, will you?" the Apocalypse winked, then snapped her fingers.

A wall of gold energy blocked their view of her, and Rose sighed, rolling her eyes. "And now she's taking clothes."

That was just . . . typical.

***

When they walked out onto the roof of the hospital, the Apocalypse was strutting much more confidently now that she was out of the skinny jeans, and Rose had to admit, she liked the new outfit. The Apocalypse had chosen a bright orange halter top dress with equally bright yellow leggings, white Converse sneakers, and her hair still wildly curly and in ringlets. She was constantly brushing her hair out of her eyes, which probably had to do with the multitude of different headbands she had over one arm, covering something leather she already had draped.

However, her eyes were fixed on the Atraxi in front of them. "So this was a good idea, was it?" Amy asked nervously, eyeing the . . . well, eye. "They were leaving!"

"Leaving is good," the Apocalypse said curtly. "Never coming back is never." She stopped. "Come on, then! The Apocalypse will see you now!"

The eye dropped down and scanned the Apocalypse, and she didn't flinch. "You are not of this world," the Atraxi declared.

"No, but I've put a lot of work into it," the Apocalypse looked at her first choice of headbands - a bright neon yellow one. She made a face. "Oh, hmm . . . I don't know." She held it up. "What do you think?"

"Is this world important?"

"Important?" the Apocalypse's eyebrows rose into her hairline. "What's that mean, important?" She tossed the headband over her shoulder, right into Rory. "Six billion people live here. Is that important? Here's a better question. Is this world a threat to the Atraxi?" She looked at another headband, this one brown and thick. When she made a face and the Atraxi didn't respond, she huffed and tossed it back to Rory. "Well, come on! You're monitoring the whole planet. Is this world a threat?"

The Atraxi projected a hologram of Earth. "No," it answered.

"Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?" the Apocalypse continued.

Holograms of the many races appeared. "No."

"OK. One more, just one," she held up a finger. "Is this world protected?" Rose gasped, flinching when the Daleks appeared, followed by the Sycorax, Slitheen, Cybermen, and various other monsters they fought appeared. "Because you're not the first lot to have come here. Oh, there have been so many." The Apocalypse smirked as her brown eyes glowed gold. "And what you've got to ask is . . . what happened to them?"

Amy's eyes widened as a new hologram slideshow appeared, first portraying a ginger woman with brown eyes, followed by a brunette investigating something in her hands. That was followed by a smartly dressed blonde and two more blondes after her, a smartly dressed brunette in a suit, a dark-haired woman with a trench coat buttoned up to her throat, another ginger in combat fatigues after her. Rose swallowed when she saw the Ninth Apocalypse next, but her eyes widened when she saw she and Jack were also in the hologram. The next one, of the Tenth Apocalypse, included the entire Torchwood team and Jenny.

The Eleventh Apocalypse stepped through the hologram, ending the connection, standing confidently, now also wearing a brown leather jacket and a thin white bandana headband, her hands on her hips, displaying her Gallifreyan wristwatch and her wedding ring, now bronze with eleven yellow diamonds and orange topazes, for all to see. "Hello," she curled her lips. "I'm the Apocalypse. Basically . . . " She held up her hands, twisting her fingers. The Vortex swirled into existence, electricity crackling between her fingers. "Run," she snarled, eyes flaring gold.

The eye trembled in fear, then zoomed back into the ship. In less than ten seconds, the Atraxi were gone.

Amy laughed in relief, not seeing the Apocalypse jump and take a glowing key from her pocket. "Is that it?" she asked. "Is that them gone for good? Who were they?" She looked around, only to see the Apocalypse, Rose, and Jenny had gone.

***

The Apocalypse ran into Amy's garden and grinned. "OK," she walked up to the door. "What have you got for me this time?" She opened the door, and all three women gasped when they saw what the TARDIS looked like.

It appeared the TARDIS had gone off the Apocalypse's new color scheme. There were oranges and yellows and golds all around, with new glass floors and many different levels. "Look at you!" the Apocalypse laughed, spinning around as Rose and Jenny ran to explore. "Oh, you sexy thing! Look at you!"

"Caly!" Rose turned to look at her. "Can we go pick up Jack now?"

She grinned. "Geronimo!" she cheered, running for the controls.

The TARDIS dematerialized only a second before Amy and Rory ran into the garden.

***

And next up, Jack and thr Torchwood team meet the new Apocalypse! . . . and then they'll get Amy. ;)

Man, I got that out faster than I expected! And now I can easily get "The Christmas Invasion" done as well. And our new iPads for next year look sweet!

Anyway, I hope you like the Eleventh Apocalypse and her new outfit! Rack up the comments for an answer! And remember - NO HUGE COMMENT CHAINS THAT IS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER OF "BAD WOLF."

Ahem . . . anyway, see you soon!