Well, at least I got one of the SJA episodes here. I still can't believe I forgot it way back with the Series 4 Specials, I loved that one. XD

Rose meets another former companion, Jenny makes another friend among the kids, and both decide they shouldn't eat chicken for a while.

Enjoy the last "episode" of the book - "Death of the Apocalypse!"

***

Sarah Jane Smith was never sure how she found herself in situations like she did now, running through UNIT Base Five with Jo Jones, formerly Grant, on her heels. Actually, she was quite certain how she found herself in these situations; it was the reason they were in the base looking for Rani, Clyde, and Jo's grandson Santiago . . . actually, she was the reason they were in the base looking for Rani, Clyde, and Santiago.

In fact, she ran right into the three trying to get around the corner. "There you are!" she cried, stopping the kids in their paths.

"Sarah Jane, it's the Shansheeth!" Clyde cried, eyes wide. "They're lying through their beaks! They want you and Jo. This whole thing's a trap!"

Sarah Jane made a triumphant noise. "I knew it!"

"Hold on," Jo brightened. "If they're lying, that means the Apocalypse is still alive! Yes!"

Sarah Jane grinned brightly, happy beyond belief that the Shansheeth were lying that the Apocalypse wasn't dead as she high-fived Jo. She was why they had all gathered at the UNIT base, after all: the funeral of the Apocalypse, without any word on what had happened to Rose or Jenny. That had been one tip that something was wrong because the Apocalypse was rarely anywhere without the blondes. The other more glaring reason something was one was that for some reason, the Torchwood team in Cardiff had been nowhere to be found. It was their leader's sister's funeral, surely they would have come!

But she was quickly distracted when Clyde opened his mouth again, but it was certainly not his voice that came out. "Of course I'm still alive, Jo," a female American voice said, making the four others stare at Clyde. "I thought that was obvious! Catch up!"

"I beg your pardon?" Jo sputtered, staring at Clyde.

"Clyde, is that you?" Sarah Jane asked.

"'Course it's not, it's me!" the woman using Clyde's mouth insisted. "I'm using Clyde as a receiver. I've keyed into his residual artron energy so I can organize a very complicated biological swap across ten thousand light years. Hold on!"

Clyde's body suddenly surged with energy, making him yelp in pain before he stumbled forward. "That wasn't me," he sputtered in shock. "That wasn't me speaking! I'm getting – " He paused midsentence, then slowly held up his hand, which didn't look like his own. "That's not my hand . . . because my hand's not white!"

More energy made him spasm, and for a moment, Clyde was replaced by a brunette woman, whose skin matched what Clyde's hand had turned into. "Sorry, Clyde!" she shouted, and the four watched as the two switched between bodies. "But this – " Clyde, then the woman. "Space – " Clyde, then the woman again. "Is – taken!" And finally, the change settled on the brunette woman, who stumbled back. "Oh, good!" she gasped in relief, then shook her head and grinned widely. "So, gosh! That was different. Hello, everyone!"

"Who are you?" Rani narrowed her eyes, causing the brunette to do a double take. "Where's Clyde?"

The brunette woman abruptly snorted. "Come on, Rani, use your brain! Clyde and I swapped places, yes? I'm where he was, he's where I was. Which means, right now – ooo." She grimaced, scratching the back of her head. "He's in . . . a lot of trouble."

***

"Apocalypse?" Clyde spun around, finding himself on a red planet, no brunette woman in sight. "Apocalypse!"

"Oh, bloody hell," a familiar groan came from behind, and Clyde turned to see Rose with her arms folded, an annoyed look on her face. "I'm going to kill my sister."

***

"You bring him back, whoever you are!" Rani snapped angrily.

"No, no, no," Sarah Jane abruptly shook her head, everything falling into place as she stepped in front of Rani. "Rani, don't you see?" She turned to the brunette, taking in her bright orange halter dress, equally bright yellow leggings that made it hard to stare for very long, white Converse sneakers, and curly hair in ringlets, a brown leather jacket covering her arms and a thin white bandana serving as a headband. But she didn't need to see the silver watch on her wrist to identify her . . . no, she just had to look at those kind eyes, yet eyes that looked far older than the woman. "It's . . . it's you, isn't it?" she asked. "Oh, you've done it again!"

The woman smiled brilliantly in reply. "Hello, Sarah Jane."

Sarah Jane smiled widely. "Apocalypse?"

The brunette twirled her hand as she curtsied, winking as she did so. "That's the Apocalypse?" Rani gawked. She'd been blonde and in a rose pink turtleneck, black skinny jeans, and grey cowboy boots the last time she'd seen her!

"What Apocalypse?" Jo blinked rapidly. "The Apocalypse? My Apocalypse?"

"Yeah, well, she can change her face!" Sarah Jane defended the Time Lady.

"I know, but into a college schoolgirl?"

"Oi!" the Apocalypse said, looking offended. "Imagine it from my point of view! Last time I saw you, Jo Grant, you were . . . what, 21, 22? It's like someone baked you!"

Jo squeaked, eyes wide, but before she could get another comment in, Santiago shook her shoulder. "Everyone!" he looked back nervously. "Meanwhile!"

Sarah Jane, Jo, and Rani turned to see the Shansheeth come down the corridor, and the Apocalypse narrowed her eyes. "Ah, yes," she moved in front of the humans. "The Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet. I've been looking for you. Have you been telling people I'm dead?"

The Shansheeth in the lead didn't even bat an eye. "I apologize," he said. "The death notice was released a little too soon, though I can rectify this immediately." He raised a claw, and the Apocalypse stiffened as she was hit with a red beam, her face twisting in a grimace as she fell to the ground. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Apocalypse," the Shansheeth said, not sounding sorry at all as Rani clapped her hands over her mouth, Sarah Jane's eyes wide in horror. "Rest in peace!"

The Apocalpyse gritted her teeth, then a blast of energy hit the first Shansheeth in the back. He roared in anger, stopping his attack just as the Apocalypse was replaced with Clyde again. Clyde staggered, then looked back at Sarah Jane in shock. "But I was on a planet!"

"Planet later!" a familiar voice shouted, and Jenny burst past the Shansheeth, sonic blaster in hand. "Run now!"

"What Jenny said!" Sarah Jane reinforced the order, sending everyone down after Jenny, Clyde stumbling after them when he saw the Shansheeth.

Jenny was through the door first, followed by Rani, Santiago, and Jo. Sarah Jane looked back just in time to see the Apocalypse jump through, taking Clyde's place again. "Come along, Smith!" she shouted, causing Sarah Jane to stumble after her.

"In!" Jenny pointed at one of the doors.

"In, in!" the Apocalypse agreed, pushing Jenny in.

Rani and Santiago followed, a woman in a UNIT uniform approaching as Jo and Sarah Jane followed. "I'm sorry, is there a problem?"

The Apocalypse simply followed the others into what appeared to be a dormitory, closing the door hard behind her. She winced, then opened the door again. "Sorry," she apologized. "I was . . . slamming it." She slammed the door shut again, turning around. "Right, now we need to lock it. Jenny, lock it."

"Haven't you got the screwdriver?" Sarah Jane frowned.

"They took it," the Apocalypse wrinkled her nose. "I'd ask for the sonic lipstick, but Jen's blaster is sonic. Actually, technically, it's not her blaster."

"Uncle Jack said I could keep it," Jenny said over her shoulder as she aimed at the dormitory door.

"How did you follow me anyway?" the Apocalypse frowned.

Jenny just held up her wrist, showing the leather around it. "I still have Uncle Jack's spare Vortex Manipulator."

"Which you also stole!"

"It got Aunt Rose back," Jenny said smugly.

The Apocalypse groaned. "You are so like your aunt and uncle."

"Says the one who never returned the TARDIS!"

"I've borrowed her!"

"Hold on," Jo focused on the most important part. "They do sonic lipsticks now?"

"Sonic lipsticks later," the Apocalypse clapped her hands. "We're running out of time. I need you, Sarah, and you, Jo."

"Need us for what?" Jo frowned, joining her and Sarah Jane.

"Simple," the Apocalypse smiled. "Remember the old days when we'd go zooming off to faraway worlds?" She grabbed their hands. "We're going zooming off to faraway worlds."

The energy flashed over them, and Clyde took their place, looking slightly green as he doubled over. "I'm getting spacesick," he mumbled.

Rani just giggled in relief, hugging Clyde. "I'm Jenny, by the way," the ginger girl beamed up at Santiago.

"Santiago," he offered his hand. After all he'd seen that day, a brunette girl popping out of nowhere was the least surprising thing that had happened.

"Nice to meet you, Santiago."

***

"No, no, no, no!" the Apocalypse shouted behind them, but Sarah Jane and Jo were too busy staring at the red planet in front of them, frozen in shock. "Let's get you working properly! Stop!"

"No," Sarah Jane breathed, still looking around.

"Welcome to the Crimson Heart, Sarah Jane!" The brunette tripped over her feet turning around, and she smiled when she saw Rose wave up at her from where she was bending over a beeping device with the Apocalypse. "Sorry, we're a bit stuck here for the moment. Well, I was. Caly had to get you."

"Well, we're not stuck," the Apocalypse pointed. "Planet Earth is that way, but's a bit of a long walk. Sonic, please?"

Sarah Jane numbly handed it over, still looking around what Rose had called the Crimson Heart. "It's so many years since I was on another planet," Jo whispered.

Sarah Jane nodded, as if in a trance. "Me, too."

***

"I'm sorry, but can I help?" the UNIT woman asked, knocking on the dormitory door. "Is something wrong?"

Santiago opened his mouth, but Jenny clicked her tongue, putting her hand over his mouth. "Hush. Brain think."

Santiago paused. "But she's on our side, isn't she?"

Rani's eyes darkened. "You've been avoiding her, haven't you?" Jenny nodded encouragingly. "Someone inside UNIT had to fake the DNA results," Rani realized.

"Exactly," Jenny nodded. "Colonel Karim's in league with the Shansheeth." She turned around to one of the computer screens, tapping in a code and pulling up a schematic of the base. "Now, we're here, right in the middle of the base. We can find a way to get help."

A klaxon suddenly went off, and Santiago blinked at the screen, pointing out the compartments turning red. "What's that?"

Rani growled. "Karim's sealed off the entire Funeral Wing. We're trapped!"

There was a clatter behind them, and they turned to see the ventilation shaft grill fall to the ground, a blue alien poking his head out. "Hurry," he gestured. "Follow me!"

Clyde followed without hesitation. "Is that a Groske?" Jenny asked as Rani followed, climbing in after her.

"Apparently," Rani nodded. "He's not a Graske, we know that."

***

"There," the Apocalypse pointed out a place on the device, Sarah Jane moving her sonic lipstick to follow. "And there."

"Did it hurt?" Sarah Jane finally asked. "I mean, the regeneration. That last body of yours, was she OK in the end?"

The Apocalypse's dark eyes turned even darker. "It wasn't the regeneration pain that was the worst in the end." She pointed one last time. "And there."

Sarah Jane sonicked, getting the point. Time to ask a better question. "So how did you end up in this place?"

"The Shansheeth lured us," the Apocalypse glowered. "A mighty old battlefield, just begging to be explored. And we got the chance to, because we've got Amy and Rory with us now. They're married, you see, and we dropped them off at a honeymoon planet."

"Apparently, it's not a honeymoon planet," Rose chimed in. "It's a planet on a honeymoon. Though I'm not sure how a planet and an asteroid are going to work out . . . "

"Oh, there are worse things a planet could marry," the Apocalypse waved it off. "It could have been a black hole." Rose shuddered in agreement. "Anyway, Shansheeth. So we come here, and they nicked the TARDIS! Fortunately, we had all this wreckage to build a . . . " She made a random gesture. "Space swapping doo-dah thingummy whatsit."

"So you've a married couple in the TARDIS?" Jo asked.

"Mr. and Mrs. Pond," the Apocalypse beamed.

Jo fidgeted. "I only left you because I got married. Did you think I was stupid?"

The Apocalypse did a double take, spinning around to face her former companion. "I was married when you left!" she protested. "Why do you say that?!"

"I was a bit dumb," Jo shrugged. "Still am, I suppose."

The Apocalypse abruptly stopped what she was doing, marching over to where Jo was sitting and watching them work. "Now what in the world would make you think that ever, ever, ever?"

"We'd been traveling down the Amazon for months, and we reached a village in Cristalino, and it was the only place in thousands of miles that had a telephone, so I called you," Jo answered as the Apocalypse sat next to her. "I just wanted to say hello, and they told me that you'd left. Left UNIT, never came back. So I waited and waited because you said you'd see me again. You did, I asked you, and you said yes." The Apocalypse nodded, remembering as Jo continued. "You promised. So I thought, one day, I'd hear that sound. Deep in the jungle, I'd hear that funny wheezing noise, and a big blue box right in the middle of the rainforest. You see, she wouldn't just leave. Not forever. Not me. I've waited my whole silly life."

The Apocalypse smiled. "Well, you see, Jo, you're a bit of an idiot."

Jo barked out a laugh, wiping her eyes. "Well, there we have it!"

"I mean, how could I ever find you?" the Apocalypse went right on as if Jo had never spoken, making her do a double take. "You've spent the past forty years living in huts, climbing up trees, tearing down barricades! You've done everything from flying kites on Kilimanjaro to sailing down the Yangtze in a tea chest! Not even the TARDIS could pin you down!"

"Believe me, that's a feat," Rose nodded.

But Jo was staring at the Apocalypse after the last few sentences. "Hold on . . . I did sail down the Yangtze in a tea chest! How did you know?!"

"And that family," the Apocalypse whistled. "All seven kids, twelve grandchildren, thirteenth on his way. He's dyslexic, but that'll be fine. Great swimmer!"

Jo swallowed. "So you've been watching me all this time?"

"No," the Apocalypse admitted. "Because you're right, I don't always look back. I can't. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all of you, every single one . . . and I was so proud."

Tears formed in Jo's eyes as she looked at the brunette woman. "It really is you, isn't it?" she asked.

The Apocalypse beamed. "Hello!"

Jo laughed gleefully, then Sarah Jane whistled to get their attention. "Sorry, but we've got that lot back at home with the Shansheeth!"

"Yes, yes!" the Apocalypse jumped to her feet. "And I still need you, Jo! Now, that bag of yours, I can smell blackcurrant. Is it buchu oil?"

"Handpicked in Mozambique!" Jo confirmed proudly, pulling it out of her bag.

"Oh, perfect!" the Apocalypse cheered, taking it from the woman. "These circuits need connectivity. Wonderful! Little tiddly drop . . . " She dropped it into the circuits, then smiled. "That's it! What a team!"

***

The Groske popped open the next grill, looking behind at them. "Hurry, hurry, hurry! Come on!"

"Hey, nice!" Clyde looked around appreciatively as they crawled out of the vents. "You've got a little den! What's all the hurry for?"

The Groske held up a box. "Pizza go cold."

"What?!" Clyde squawked as Jenny burst out laughing. "I thought you had a plan!"

"Shansheeth too scary," the Groske shook his head. "We hide."

"No, we've got to do something!"

"Hiding's not a bad idea, though," Jenny shrugged. "Mum may still need you for the . . . " She made a complicated gesture. "Body swap."

"Oh, great," Clyde huffed. "Great. Stuck in Groskeville."

The Groske shrugged. "Pizza good."

"One of my favorites," Jenny agreed.

"I can't believe you get to do this all the time," Santiago marveled, sitting down against the wall. "Like, aliens and chases and stuff."

"You can talk, Santiago," Clyde snorted. "You're off to Paraguay and Mount Everest!"

"Dude, you just zapped into another planet," Santiago countered.

Clyde paused, then grinned dopily. "Yeah, that was pretty cool."

Rani laughed. "We've been to parallel times, dream dimensions, limbo . . . and then we go home for tea!"

"We see all this, then my mum's like, 'What did you do today?'" Clyde nodded. "I'm like, 'not much.'"

"Went to the library," Rani mused.

"Played a bit of footie."

"Stayed behind after Drama Club."

"And I fought off a platoon of Judoon in my spare time!" Clyde chortled.

"But Jenny's the one whose mum's job is literally saving the universe from these types of things," Rani grinned at the ginger. "It's like you're everywhere!"

"Feels like we've been everywhere," Jenny beamed. "Aunt Rose has been to the end of the world, though, and Uncle Jack's been to the end of the universe. I got the second Big Bang, though."

"Second Big Bang?!" Clyde's eyes widened.

Jenny's eyes widened innocently. "Oops."

"No, the second Big Bang?"

"I've not seen my mum for six months now," Santiago frowned.

"How come?" Rani asked.

"She's in Japan, organizing a rally," he answered. "I mean, that's great, you know. It's really good work."

"Yeah, of course it is," Clyde agreed.

"Before that, she was in Africa, finding shell flower plants," Santiago continued. "My father's with the Gay Dads Organization, hiking across Antarctica. We haven't all been together since about . . . February?"

"When can you see them again?" Jenny leaned forward in concern.

Santiago shrugged. "Soon? I don't know. Soon, though."

A shutter suddenly slid into place behind them across the ventilation access, sending Santiago sprawling. "What's that?" Clyde jumped to his feet. "What's happening?"

"Trapped!" the Groske answered.

Jenny jumped away when something nearby flared red, then she flinched, backing away more, right into Santiago, who almost fell again. "They're heating the room!"

"They're trying to boil us!" Rani balked.

Clyde immediately went to the shutter across the vents, desperately trying to move it. "It won't budge!" he spun around. "Come on, Groske, there's got to be a way out!"

"No," the Groske shook his head. "We die like rotisserie."

"Yeah, I'm not dying like that," Jenny shook her head, pulling her blaster out. "Why did I never learn all these settings?!"

"Sarah Jane!" Rani cupped her hands over her mouth, shouting. "Anyone!"

"Apocalypse!" Clyde bellowed. "Where are you?"

***

"There!" the Apocalypse patted her device proudly. "That should work. Intergalactic molecular streaming, with just a hint of blackcurrant."

"But what'll happen to Clyde?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Oh, no, no, no, I fixed it," the Apocalypse assured her. "All I needed was you two, oil and sonic. Now we can go back and Clyde can stay where he is!" She extended her hands, Sarah Jane and Jo taking them and taking Rose's as well. "Hold tight!"

***

They reappeared in the base, just in time to hear Clyde's yells. "Get us out of here, Apocalypse!"

The Apocalypse spun around, staring at a grill nearby. "Then again, maybe leaving Clyde in the same place wasn't such a good idea." She extended a hand and twisted it like she would to a doorknob, the grill groaning and falling to the ground. "Oh, ventilation shafts!" she peered inside. "That takes me back . . . or even forwards."

"Mum?" Jenny's voice called hopefully. "Is that you?"

"Yeah!" the Apocalypse shouted back, climbing in without hesitation, Rose right behind her, Jo still looking in shock. "We're here!"

"Hurry up!" Clyde barked. "We're getting boiled alive!"

"Hold on! We're coming!"

Rose paused when she didn't hear anyone else in the ventilation shaft, and she turned to look behind her. "Sarah Jane?" she called, making the Apocalypse stop, too. "Jo?"

"What?" the Apocalypse twisted to try and see as well.

"They're roasting us!" Clyde yelled.

"Let us out!" Rani cried.

"Sarah Jane?" the Apocalypse tried one last time.

Rose looked back at her. "I can't go back, there's no way I could last against them!"

"And that's my daughter up there," the Apocalypse sighed, mentally apologizing to her former companions as she turned around to keep going. "Damn my bleeding hearts."

"We love you for them, Caly," Rose said, following her sister through the shafts.

***

It was extremely simple for the Apocalypse to counter the lock blocking the ventilation shaft. "And . . . release!" It zipped upwards, and the Apocalypse poked her head out, smiling at the four kids and one Groske that spun around to look at her. "Hello!"

"Blimey," Clyde gawked. "You really have changed faces, haven't you? I couldn't see you before, I was too busy swapping."

"Oi!" Rani poked her head around. "We're still cooking back here!"

"Where's my gran?" Santiago tried to see.

"Right, yes," the Apocalypse scratched her head. "Sorry, she's in danger, so we'd better, er . . . " She twisted. "Rose, you can't turn round, can you?"

"Can't even turn sideways," she shook her head.

"You'll have to shuffle backwards," Clyde said.

"Going now," Rose started backing up.

"Thanks, Clyde," the Apocalypse nodded, backing up.

Clyde followed after her, still looking at her face. "Even your eyes are different! It's weird, 'cos I thought the eyes would stay the same. Can you change color or are you always white?"

"No, I could be anything," she shook her head.

"And is there a limit? How many times can you change?"

"Five hundred and seven."

There was a sharp crack behind her, followed by Rose groaning in pain. "You OK?" she tried to look behind her.

"Peachy!" came the annoyed response. "Clyde, that was a complete lie."

"Oi!" the Apocalypse protested, but then she was out of the vent and focused on the humming sound in the air. She balked as the rest of the group came out behind her. "They've started!"

***

Rani, Clyde, and Santiago led them to the chapel, and the Apocalypse immediately looked around. "They've sealed it off," she growled, banging on the door. "Jo! Sarah! Can you hear me?"

"They want the key!" Sarah Jane shouted. "They've got the TARDIS, and a Memory Weave!"

The Apocalypse spun around. "Try to find a way in!"

"What, you can't snap your fingers and magically get us in?" Clyde asked, looking around.

"Not without knowing what the room looks like inside!" she shook her head, everyone else looking around. "For all I know, I'll open a portal inside a Shansheeth!"

"Ugh!" Rose shuddered. "No, thank you!"

"There's nothing," Santiago looked around. "We need a bulldozer!"

"We've got originals!" Rose tried to call through the doors. "You can have one if you let them go!"

Clyde came up with a fire extinguisher, using the end of it to bang against the doors. "It's not shifting!"

"Oh," the Apocalypse pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. "A Memory Weave, so they want them to remember . . . they want them to remember one thing. One specific thing."

"Yeah, we got that!" Rani yanked on the handles.

"No, they want that one thing only!" the Apocalypse jumped up, running to the console. "So this time we'll give them too many things!" She turned it on. "Opening comms . . . Sarah, Jo, can you hear me?"

"The key!" Sarah Jane cried. "It's almost ready!"

"Listen to me, both of you. I want you to remember."

"We are doing!" Jo called. "That's the trouble!"

"No, no, no, no," the Apocalypse shook her head. "I want you to remember everything. Every single day with me, every single second. Because your memories are more powerful than anything else on this planet. Just think of it! Remember it, but properly. Properly. Give the Memory Weave everything. Every planet, every face, every madman, every loss, every sunset, every scent, every terror, every joy, every Apocalypse. Every me!"

She heard Sarah Jane's joyful voice. "I remember!"

"I remember!" Jo gasped.

The panicking of Karim and the Shansheeth filled the comms, and the Apocalypse gestured. "Come on, all of you! Tell them, remember!"

"Think of us, Sarah Jane!" Clyde ran to the doors. "Remember Maria and her dad, and all the stuff we did . . . like the Gorgon!"

"And the clowns, and the zodiac," Rani joined in. "And the Mona Lisa!"

"All of it," Sarah Jane gasped. "All of it!"

"What about when we first met, Sarah Jane?" Rose offered. "Remember the Krillitanes!"

"And the Medusa Cascade!" Jenny piped up. "Your wedding!"

"Just think, Gran!" Santiago called. "All the countries you've been to!"

Alarms from inside started blaring, and the Apocalypse nodded. "Right . . . now we're in trouble. The Weave's going to blow up, and we can't get them out."

"What?!" Rani balked.

"We've drained it!" Sarah Jane's voice sounded closer. "Apocalypse? Apocalypse, I can't get out!"

The Apocalypse swallowed. "If I try and force the doors open, that blast will rip through the base! These might be the only things that'll save the entire place!"

"And we can't get inside the TARDIS because guess what? We stopped ourselves getting the key," Sarah Jane sighed. "Oh, that was clever."

"I just want to say," Jo gulped, "I'm so glad I saw you again. I waited all this time, and it was worth it. Every second. Funny thing is, though . . . your funeral turns out to be ours instead."

Rose was not expecting the Apocalypse to look hopeful at that. "My funeral?" she repeated.

"Apocalypse, Rose," Sarah Jane sniffed. "All of you, you'll look after Luke for me, please?"

"No, no, no, no, but listen!" the Apocaylpse jumped up and down. "My funeral! Don't you see?! It's my funeral!"

"With a lead-lined coffin!" both women shouted from inside.

The Apocalypse whooped gleefully, then Jenny looked at the Groske, who was examining the control panel. "How much time have they got?"

He took a look. "Big bang, ten seconds!"

The Apocalypse blinked. "Oh . . . right. Run!"

"Ten," the Groske counted down as the group scrambled to find cover. "Nine, eight, seven, six – "

"Hurry up, Gran!" Santiago called.

"Five, four, three, two, one!" the Groske hurried to find cover as well.

The doors blew out in the resulting funeral, and the Apocalypse covered her mouth, getting to her feet. "Oh, my shoes are all sooty!" she complained before something said before caught up with her. "What do you mean, the Mona Lisa?" she asked Rani.

***

"Yum," the Groske sniffed inside the chapel. "Smells like roast chicken!"

"So no more roast chicken for a few days or so," Rose grimaced.

"Agreed," Jenny nodded.

"Now, then," the Apocalypse sauntered up to the coffin. "Smith and Jones!" She, Rose, and Jenny lifted the lid, revealing Sarah Jane and Jo, who laughed in relief. "The coffin was the trap, the coffin was the solution . . . that's so neat, I could write a thesis. Come on, you two! Out you get!"

***

"Whoa!" Clyde gawked as he stepped out of the TARDIS into Sarah Jane's attic. "It's Bannerman Road! It's like everything moved! I'm never getting used to that."

"Mr. Smith, you're in big trouble!" Rani shouted as she came out next. "Those Shansheeth were bad!"

"It transpires that you encountered a rogue element, and the Wide Wing of the High Shansheeth Nest sends apologies," Mr. Smith apologized, stopping an emerging Santiago in his tracks.

"No way," the boy's jaw dropped. "On top of everything else, you've got a talking computer?! That's it," he threw his hands up in the air. "I'm giving up!"

Jenny giggled, turning away from the door to see Jo looking around in awe. "Still the same old TARDIS. It doesn't matter what's changed, it still smells the same." She took a deep breath, then shook her head. "No, I've got to say goodbye, or else I'd stay with you forever," she told the Apocalypse. "Besides, I probably couldn't keep up any more. Get you into trouble with the Time Lords."

"More like they'd be in trouble with me," the Apocalypse said darkly, eyes flaring gold at the thought of her United and brother in their hands. "But yes, we'd probably better go. You know me, stuff to do."

"It's daft, though," Sarah Jane ran a hand over the console. "Because we were both saying . . . we had this theory that if you ever died, we'd feel it. Somehow, we'd just know. But that's just silly, isn't it?"

The Apocalypse hummed. "I don't know," she tilted her head. "Maybe not. Because between you and me, if that day ever comes . . . I think the whole universe might just shiver."

Jo and Sarah Jane exchanged wary looks, then Jenny popped up between the two of them. "Boo!" she shouted, making both jump.

"Jenny Tyler!" Rose burst out laughing, even as Jenny grinned like the cat who ate the canary. "You menace!"

"Come here!" the Apocalypse held out her arms, and Jo and Sarah Jane hugged her tightly. "Oh, it was good to see you again."

"We'll see if we can meet again," Rose smiled, giving Sarah Jane a hug as well. "We missed Luke this time, I noticed."

"He'd love to see you all again," Sarah Jane nodded. "Just keep an eye on this one, will you?"

"Always will," Rose crossed her heart.

Sarah Jane smiled, heading for the doors of the TARDIS. "Goodbye, Tylers."

That brought a grin to all three of the Time Ladies' faces, Jo waving as well. "Goodbye, Sarah Jane," the Apocalypse smiled. "Goodbye, Jo!"

"Bye!" Rose and Jenny chorused as the doors shut.

The Apocalypse turned around and pulled a lever, causing the TARDIS to dematerialize. "So that was Jo Grant," Rose hummed.

"Jo Jones now," the Apocalypse corrected. "But yes, that was Jo. Incredible, isn't she?"

"She is," Rose agreed.

"Nice grandson, too," Jenny said thoughtfully, jumping up in her chair.

The Apocalypse's head shot up so fast, Rose thought she might break it. "What makes you say that?" she asked casually.

Jenny blinked once, then twice, then sputtered. "Mum!"

Rose cackled as the Apocalypse tried to explain herself, even as the TARDIS flew through the Vortex, away from Bannerman Road.

***

I planned on having this done over the weekend, but I was distracted by golden retriever cuddles. Oops.

Just the epilogue left, and Caly's first book in her eleventh body is over! Check in shortly! ;)