"So, for your first trip, Rose Tyler, I'll let you decide," the Apocalypse told her, moving around the console. "Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time? What's it going to be?"

"Forwards," Rose decided.

"How far?"

Rose shrugged. "One hundred years?"

The Apocalypse flipped a few switches, and the TARDIS stopped. "There you go," the Apocalypse told her. "Step outside those doors, it's the 22nd century."

Rose stared at her. "You're kidding!"

"Although, that's a bit boring," the Apocalypse told her with a grin. "Do you want to go further?"

"Fine by me!"

The Apocalypse did some more things on the console, and the next time the TARDIS slowed, she smirked. "Ten thousand years in the future. Outside, that'll be the year 12005. The new Roman Empire."

Rose decided to see what she could do. "You think you're so impressive," she teased.

"You think I'm not impressive?" the Apocalypse asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You wish," Rose countered.

The Apocalypse grinned. "Well, then, challenge accepted, missy," she told her. "You asked for it. I know exactly where to go." She pointed to the console. "Hold on!"

Rose held onto the TARDIS as the Apocalypse moved around, flying the TARDIS. When they stopped, the Apocalypse stepped back and folded her arms. Rose smiled. "Where are we?" she asked. "What's out there?"

The Apocalypse smiled softly. "Take a look."

Rose stepped out the doors, and her eyes widened as she took in the gallery they currently stood in. "Over here," the Apocalypse told her, leading her towards a few shutters, using her sonic screwdriver to lower the shutters, revealing the Earth. "Humans are always thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by . . . I don't know, eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids, or all that. But you never take the time to imagine the impossible. Maybe you survive. Welcome to the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six, five billion years in your future, and this is the day . . . hold on." She checked her watch, and the sun flared behind the Earth, and Rose stared incredulously. "This is the day the sun expands." The Apocalypse folded her arms. "Rose Tyler, welcome to the end of the world."

***

"Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation, and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for 15:39 followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite."

"So, when it says guests, does that mean people?" Rose asked.

"Aliens," the Apocalypse replied. "Are you ready?"

"I don't know," Rose admitted.

"I will warn you, though, Rose, you're going to hear English." The Apocalypse stepped through a door. "The TARDIS will be translating the languages in your head so you hear English. What comes out of your mouth talking to them will be their own."

Rose blinked. "Your ship gets inside my head?"

"She does it so I don't have to translate for you," the Apocalypse replied. "I wanted to tell you ahead of time."

"Thanks for that," Rose told her before shaking herself. "But aliens? What are they doing onboard this spaceship? What's it all for?"

"It's more like an observation deck," the Apocalypse replied as they entered an observation gallery, the Earth rotating below them. "The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn."

"What for?"

The Apocalypse grimaced. "Fun. And when I say the great and the good, I mean the rich."

"But, hold on," Rose said, looking out. "They did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding. That takes hundreds of years!"

"Millions," the Apocalypse agreed, "but the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there?" She pointed, and Rose saw the satellites she showed. "Gravity satellites holding back the sun."

"The planet looks the same as ever," Rose commented. "I thought the continents shifted and things."

"The Trust shifted them back," the Apocalypse explained. "That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over."

"How long's it got?"

The Apocalypse checked her watch. "About half an hour. And then the planet gets roasted."

"Is that why we're here?" Rose asked. "I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?"

"Sometimes things have to happen." The Apocalypse shook her head. "This is one of them. Earth's time is up."

"But what about the people?" Rose asked in shock.

The Apocalypse smiled at her. "The Earth is empty, Rose. There's no one left on the planet."

Rose sighed. "Just me, then."

"Who the hell are you?"

The two women spun as a blue skinned alien with gold eyes walked up. The Apocalypse folded her arms. "Oh, yes, that's nice, insult anyone you find onboard," the Apocalypse snorted. "You are the Steward, I assume?"

"But how did you get in?" the alien wondered, and Rose took a quick glance at the Apocalypse, hearing English, just like the woman had said. And she was right. It was a lot easier just to hear it instead of her translating. "This a maximum hospitality zone! The guests have disembarked. They're on their way any second now!"

"And two of them got here early," the Apocalypse said, flipping out a black wallet and flashing it to him. "We got our invitation and got here as fast as we could. The Apocalypse, plus one. I'm the Apocalypse, and this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one." She quirked an eyebrow. "That all right?"

"Well, obviously," the Steward sputtered. "Apologies, et cetera. If you're onboard, we'd better start. Enjoy!"

"Psychic paper," the Apocalypse explained, flipping the wallet over, showing the blank piece of paper. "It shows them whatever I want them to see. It saves time from explaining."

"He's blue," Rose whispered.

"Crespallion," the Apocalypse explained. "Are you all right?"

Rose took a deep breath. "Yeah. I think so."

The Apocalypse patted her arm as the Steward spoke. "We have in attendance the Apocalypse and Rose Tyler. Thank you. All staff to their positions! Hurry now, thank you! Quick as we can! Come along, come along. And now, might I introduce the next honored guest? Representing the Forest of Cheem, we have Trees, namely Jabe, Lute, and Coffa."

Rose blinked as three Tree people entered through one of the doors. She shook her head slightly, and the Apocalypse squeezed her arm. "There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace," the Steward added. "If you could keep the room circulating, thank you! Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, we have the Moxx of Balhoon." Rose watched the large blue alien on a floating chair come in, and she took a deep breath. I can do this, she told herself. "And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme." Black-cloaked aliens entered, their faces covered. "The inventors of Hypo-slip Travel Systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you!"

"Rose," the Apocalypse whispered in her ear as guests came around. "Have any good idea for gifts?"

Rose blinked. "Uh . . . no, not really."

The Apocalypse sighed. "Then I'm sorry about this." She reached up and plucked a few hairs from Rose's head.

Rose jumped. "Ow!"

"Go with it," the Apocalypse whispered as the Trees walked up.

"The Gift of Peace," Jabe said smoothly. "I bring you a cutting of my grandfather." She took a rooted twig in a pot from one of her companions and held it out.

"Thank you," the Apocalypse replied brightly, taking it and handing it to Rose, who took it oddly before she plucked some of her own hairs out. "In return, I give you cuttings of ourselves."

Jabe nodded and took a hair from both girls. "Thank you."

The Apocalypse nodded, then whispered to Rose again. "I didn't exactly want to act like I was kissing her. My . . . " She stopped, and Rose looked at her in confusion, before she cleared her throat. "One of my friends would've just breathed on her. Carbon dioxide, of course. They survive off of that."

"Oh!" Rose softly exclaimed, the thing making sense, before she frowned. "Then why couldn't we just use yours?"

"Not often people see a beautiful blonde," the Apocalypse told her cheekily with a wink.

Rose flushed at the compliment as the Steward continued. "From the Silver Devastation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe!"

Rose watched a huge gigantic head get wheeled in, caged inside of a glass case. "That's a head," she whispered.

"I know," the Apocalypse replied before straightening as the blue blob-like alien floated up. "The Moxx of Balhoon!" she greeted.

"My felicitations upon this historical happenstance," he greeted. His what upon this what and what? Rose thought, bewildered. "I give you the gift of bodily saliva."

He hacked and spit, and Rose jerked back when she was hit in the eye, and from the sound next to her, it must have hit the Apocalypse as well. The Apocalypse cleared her throat. "Thank you very much."

"He just spit in our faces," Rose said, unsure whether to be disgusted or not.

"Yes, he did," the Apocalypse agreed, wiping her face off and frowning at her hand before flinging it off to the side, and Rose did the same as the black robed Adherents came up. "Ah, the Adherents of the Repeated Meme! I bring you cuttings of my companion and me." She gave the Adherents some of their hair."

"A gift of peace in all good faith," one of the Adherents replied, holding out a silver ball in a metal hand.

The Apocalypse took it and tossed it lightly in the air before also handing it to Rose. "And last but not least, our very special guest," the Steward announced, finishing up, it sounded like. "Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human: the Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen."

What kind of name is that?! Rose wondered before her jaw dropped open when she saw the piece of skin stretched across a frame like a trampoline was rolled in by two men. "Oh, now, don't stare," Cassandra cooed, and Rose blanched. The Apocalypse put her hand over her mouth, and Rose saw a mixture of amusement and disgust. "I know, I know. It's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference! Look how thin I am! Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturize me, moisturize me!"

Her attendants sprayed something on her, and she continued. "Truly, I am the last Human." Rose and the Apocalypse spared each other a look before turning back to Cassandra. "My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth, and they were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honor them and say goodbye." She sniffed. "Oh, no tears! No tears! But behold, I bring gifts! From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg!" Rose watched with wide eyes as the egg was brought in, and she heard the Apocalypse giggle a little behind her. "Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty feet and blue fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband?"

There was a snort behind her, and Rose couldn't help but look at the Apocalypse in astonishment as the woman held a hand over her mouth, stifling what must've been laughter. Rose stared at her, and the Apocalypse did her best to shrug. "Oh, no," Cassandra told her. "Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity!" Rose slowly began to walk around Cassandra, her eyes widening even further when she saw just how thin she was. She then saw the juke box being wheeled in, and she turned her wide-eyed gaze to it. "According to the archives, this was called an iPod." You are kidding me, Rose thought. "It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!"

Rose shook her head as "Tainted Love" began playing, and she saw the Apocalypse bopping her head to the beat as she moved around the room. "Refreshments will now be served," the Steward announced. "Earth Death in thirty minutes."

Rose found the Apocalypse and pointed behind her towards a door. The Apocalypse nodded, and Rose took off out of it to gather her bearings. She found a window of the sun in a private corridor, and she just stood watching, the twig and the ball in her hands when she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see another of the Crespallion species, like the Apocalypse had said, come around the corner, wearing overalls and a cap. "Sorry," Rose apologized. "Am I allowed to be in here?"

"You have to give us permission to talk," the woman whispered.

"Er . . . " Rose shuffled awkwardly. "You have permission."

Thank you," the alien told her. "And no, you're not in the way. Guests are allowed anywhere."

"OK," Rose replied, and as the alien unlocked a wall panel nearby, she asked, "What's your name?"

"Raffalo," she replied.

"Raffalo?" Rose repeated.

"Yes, miss," Raffalo replied. "I won't be long. I've just got to carry out some maintenance. There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Boe's suite. There must be something blocking the syste. He's not getting any hot water."

"So you're a plumber?" Rose asked.

"That's right, miss."

Rose blinked. "They still have plumbers?"

"I hope so, else I'm out of a job."

"So you're from Crespallion, right?"

"Yes, miss."

"That's a planet, is it?"

"No." Rose listened as Raffalo explained. "Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction Convex 56. And where are you from, miss? If you don't mind me asking."

"No, not at all," Rose said quickly with a quick glance back at the Manchester Suite. "Er . . . I don't know. A long way away. I just sort of hitched a lift with this woman. I didn't even think about it. I don't even know who she is. She's a complete stranger." She shook her head. "Anyway, don't let me keep you. Good luck with it!"

"Thank you, miss," Raffalo replied with a beam. "And, er . . . thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate."

"OK," Rose replied, nodding. "See you later."

"Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery fifteen please report to the Steward's office immediately? Guests are reminded that use of teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty five point four slash cup slash sixteen. Thank you."

Only the Apocalypse, Rose thought with a snort.

***

She headed back to the gallery where the TARDIS was nearby, and she sat on the steps, tossing the silver ball back and forth. "Earth Death in twenty-five minutes. Earth Death in twenty-five minutes."

"Oh, thanks," she muttered, setting the ball down and going holding up the plant. "Hello," she told it. My name's Rose. That's a sort of plant. We might be related." She paused before making a face. "I'm talking to a twig," she muttered incredulously, setting it down.

"Oi! Be careful with that!" the voice of the Apocalypse shouted from outside. Guess she found the TARDIS. "Park it properly! And I don't want any scratches, either!" There was a moment, then there was a knock. "Rose? Are you in there?"

"Yeah," she replied.

The Apocalypse answered. "You all right?" she asked. "What do you think?"

"Well, once you get past the slightly psychic paper, they're just so . . . alien," Rose said lamely, and the Apocalypse smiled as she sat on the opposite set of steps. "The aliens are so alien. You look at 'em, and they're alien."

"Guess it's a good thing I didn't take you to the Deep South," the Apocalypse said mildly.

Rose looked at her. "Where are you from?" she asked.

It was as if a switch had been flipped. The Apocalypse's face darkened, and she quickly looked away. "All over the place," she muttered.

"Well, then, what sort of alien are you? What are you called?"

"I'm just the Apocalypse," she insisted.

"From what planet?"

"Well, it's not as if you'll know where it is!"

"Where are you from?"

"Rose, please!" the Apocalypse burst out, and Rose was taken aback to see a few tears welling up in her eyes. "Please, just . . . stop. Not here. Not now."

Rose stared at her, shocked to see the strong woman reduced to this just because she was asking questions about her home. What happened to her? she wondered.

"Earth Death in twenty minutes," the computer chimed. "Earth Death in twenty minutes."

Rose nodded. "All right," she said softly, looking up. "As my mate Shareen says, don't argue with the designated driver." There was a slight snort from the Apocalypse, and Rose pulled out her phone, looking at it. "Can't exactly call for a taxi," she joked. "There's no signal. We're out of range. Just a bit."

"Here." The Apocalypse held out her hand, and Rose handed it over. "With a little bit of jiggery pokery," she muttered, taking the phone apart and using the sonic screwdriver on her battery.

"Is that a technical term?" Rose asked. "Jiggery pokery?"

"Yeah," the Apocalypse replied before giving her a slight smile. "I came first in jiggery pokery. What about you?"

"Nah," Rose replied with a grin. "I failed hullabaloo."

The Apocalypse gave a real laugh at that and handed her her phone back. "There you go."

Rose stared at it, then dialed her mother's phone. There were a few rings before Jackie answered. "Hello?"

"Mum?" Rose gasped incredulously, standing and heading for the window.

"Oh, what is it?" Jackie asked. "What's wrong? What have I done now? Oh, this red top's falling to bits!" Washing, Rose guessed with a slight smile. "You should get our money back. Go on. There must be something. You never phone in the middle of the day!" Rose gave a small laugh, and the Apocalypse smiled, standing up and joining her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Rose said quickly. "You all right, though?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"What day is it?"

"Wednesday, all day. You got a hangover?" The Apocalypse grinned, and so did Rose. "Oh, I tell you what. Put a quid in that lottery syndicate. I'll pay you back later."

"Yeah, er . . . " Rose smiled at the Apocalypse. "I was just calling 'cos I might be late home."

"Is there something wrong?"

"No. I'm fine." Rose giggled. "Top of the world." She hung up, looking at her phone in surprise. "Wow."

"Well, if you think that's amazing, wait until you see the bill," the Apocalypse told her.

"That was five billion years ago," Rose said slowly. "So, she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead." She smiled at the Apocalypse. "Thank you."

She gave her a tight hug, and the Apocalypse stiffened for a second before hugging Rose back. "You're welcome," she replied.

The floor shook under their feet, and it took a while for them to regain their footing, and the Apocalypse's face split in a grin. "That's not supposed to happen," she said happily before running off.

And here we go, Rose thought, but she ran after the Apocalypse anyway.

***

"Honored guests may be reassured that gravity pockets may cause slight turbulence, thanking you."

"Indubitably, this is the Bad Wolf scenario," the Moxx of Balhoon was saying to the Face of Boe as the Apocalypse and Rose walked past. "I find the inherent laxity of the ongoing multiverse - "

"That wasn't a gravity pocket," the Apocalypse said. "I know gravity pockets, and they don't feel like that." She turned to the Tree, Jabe, as she walked up. "What do you think, Jabe? Listen to the engines. They've pitched up about thirty Hertz. That dodgy or what?"

"It's the sound of metal," Jabe replied with a shrug. "It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Do you know where the engine room is?"

"I don't know, but the maintenance duct is just behind our guest suite," Jabe suggested. "I could show you and your friend."

"You two go," Rose told them. "I'm going to catch up with family." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder to Cassandra. "Quick word with Michael Jackson."

"Don't start a fight," the Apocalypse joked before smiling at Jabe. "Shall we?"

"And I want you home by midnight!" Rose joked, and the Apocalypse laughed as she and Jabe headed out.

***

"Who's in charge of Platform One?" the Apocalypse asked Jabe as they navigated their way through the maintenance duct. "Is there a captain or something?"

"There's just the Steward and the staff," Jabe replied. "All the rest is controlled by the metal mind."

"You mean the computer?" Jabe nodded. "But who controls that?"

"The Corporation," Jabe answered. "They move Platform One from one artistic event to another."

"But there's no one from the Corporation onboard."

"They're not needed. The facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the Alpha class. Nothing can go wrong."

"Unsinkable?" the Apocalypse asked, thinking of the Titanic.

"If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate."

"You're telling me," the Apocalypse snorted, grinning. "I was onboard another ship once. They said that was unsinkable, and I ended up clinging to an iceberg. With the way I am, it wasn't even half cold." She shook her head. "But basically, what you're saying is that if we get in trouble, there's no one to help us out?"

"I'm afraid not."

The Apocalypse grinned. "Fantastic!"

"I don't understand," Jabe said in confusion as the Apocalypse kept going. "In what was is that fantastic?"

***

"Soon, the sun will blossom into a red giant, and my home will die," Cassandra sighed as Rose moved to stand next to her. "That's where I used to live when I was a little boy, down there." Boy? Rose thought in confusion. "Mummy and Daddy had a little house built into the side of the Los Angeles Crevice. I'd have so much fun!"

"What happened to everyone else?" Rose asked. "The human race. Where did it go?"

"They say mankind has touched every star in the sky."

"So you're not the last human."

"I am the last pure human," Cassandra sniffed. "The others mingled. Oh, they call themselves New Humans and Proto-Humans and Digi-Humans, even "Humanish," but you know what I call them? Mongrels."

Roes stared at her. This was what the last human was like? "Right," she said slowly. "And you stayed behind."

"I kept myself pure."

"How many operations have you had?"

"Seven hundred and eight." Rose blanched at the number. "Next week, it's seven hundred and nine. I'm having my blood bleached." Cassandra considered her. "Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter, Rose. You've got a little bit of a chin poking out."

"I'd rather die," Rose sputtered.

"Honestly, it doesn't hurt!"

"No. I mean it," Rose told her angrily. "I would rather die. "It's better to die than live like you, a bitchy trampoline!"

"Oh, well, what do you know?" Cassandra sneered.

"I was born on that planet, and so was my mum, and so was my dad, ad that makes me officially the last human being in this room, 'cos you're not human," Rose spat at her. "You've had it all nipped and tucked and flattened till there's nothing left! Anything human got chucked in the bin. You're just skin, Cassandra! Lipstick and skin!" She smiled sweetly. "Nice talking."

She headed off towards the back of the room to leave, but a voice in her head stopped her. "Rose Tyler."

She froze. "Who said that?"

"Turn around, Rose."

She did, and she saw the Face of Boe staring at her. "Is it you?" she asked softly.

"Yes. I am a telepath."

Rose walked over and crouched in front of his tank. "How did you end up like this?"

"A very good friend gave me life again."

"What does the Earth mean to you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I lived there once, too, Rose Tyler. You travel with the Apocalypse?"

"Yeah."

"Believe me when I say this, Rose. Hold onto her as tightly as you can."

Rose blinked. "What?"

"Stay with her, Rose Tyler. Stay with her."

***

"So, tell me, Jabe," the Apocalypse told her as they continued through the duct. "What's a Tree like you doing in a place like this?"

"Respect for the Earth."

She smirked. "Oh, come on! Everyone on this platform's worth zillions."

"Well, perhaps it's a case of having to be seen at the right occasions."

"In case your share prices drop? I've heard of you all. You've got massive forests everywhere, roots everywhere, and there's always money in land."

"All the same, we respect the Earth as family. So many species evolved from that planet. Mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below, and I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rainforest."

""Sucze me." The Apocalypse started working on a door panel, frowning as she kept getting "Access Denied."

"And what about your ancestry, Apocalypse?" The Apocalypse froze where she crouched, her eyes widening. "Perhaps you could tell a story or two. Perhaps a woman only enjoys trouble when there's nothing else left. I scanned you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species. It refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right. I know where you're from. Forgive me for intruding but it's remarkable that you even exist. I just wanted to say how sorry I am."

The Apocalypse took a deep breath as Jabe put a hand on her arm, and she raised her own to hold it over Jabe. "Thank you," she whispered as she got the door open. She instantly took in the spinning fans on a catwalk and she raised an eyebrow. "Well, is it just me, or is it a bit nippy?" she quipped. "Fair do's, though. That's a great bit of air conditioning. Sort of nice and old fashioned. Bet they call it retro." She scanned a panel on the wall, and she grinned. "Gotcha!"

She pulled it off, and a metal spider began to scuttle up the wall. She blinked. "What the hell is that?"

"Is it part of the retro?" Jabe questioned.

"Nah," the Apocalypse replied, frowning. "Don't tell Rose this."

"Why?"

The Apocalypse swung her hand up, and a gleaming gold and silver teleport portal opened up, taking the spider with it. A similar portal appeared above her hand, and the spider dropped down into it. "Because she might freak out," she admitted, looking it over. "Now then, who's been bringing their pets onboard?"

"What does it do?"

The Apocalypse shook her head. "Sabotage."

"Earth Death in ten minutes. Earth Death in ten minutes."

"And that leads to a rocketing temperature!" she shouted, running out. "Come on!"

***

"The planet's end!" Cassandra called dramatically. "Come gather, come gather! Bid farewell to the cradle of civilization. Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad."

Rose raised an eyebrow as "Toxic" began to play. "Are you kidding me?" she muttered.

"Beware, Rose Tyler," the Face of Boe told her. "More is coming."

He rolled off, and Rose stared after him in confusion, then stood up. "Earth Death in five minutes."

"The metal machine confirms!" Jabe's voice announced as she and the Apocalypse entered, the Apocalypse eyeing a metal spider she held. "The spider devices have infiltrated the whole of Platform One."

"How's that possible?" Cassandra demanded as Rose hurried over. "Our private rooms are protected by a code wall!" She turned to her assistants. "Moisturize me. Moisturize me!"

"Are you all right?" the Apocalypse asked.

"I made friends with a telepathic head, apparently," Rose replied, looking over at the Face of Boe.

The Apocalypse grinned. "Well, it would be you."

"Summon the Steward!" the Moxx of Balhoon called.

"I'm afraid the Steward is dead," Jabe said sadly.

"What?" Rose asked in shock.

"Who killed him?" the Moxx demanded.

"This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe!" Cassandra shrilled. "He invited us! Talk to the Face! Talk to the Face!"

"It couldn't have been him!" Rose burst out. "He's been talking to me the whole time!"

"I've got an easier way of finding out," the Apocalypse said. "Someone brought their little pet onboard. Let's send him back to master."

She set it down on the floor, and Rose watched as it first scuttled over to Cassandra, which scanned her, before heading over to - "The Adherents of the Repeated Meme!" Cassandra gasped. "J'accuse!"

"I don't believe that," Rose whispered. "She's been throwing jabs at humans the whole time!"

"That's all very well, and really kind of obvious, but if you stop and think about it . . . " The Apocalypse walked over to the Adherents. The leader raised an arm to hit her, but the Apocalypse grabbed it before it could get her. "A Repeated Meme is just an idea." She pulled its arm off, and inspected the wires. "An idea." She pulled one of the wires, and the entire group collapsed. She smirked. "Remote controlled droids. Nice little cover for the real troublemaker." She nudged the spider with her foot. "Go on, Jimbo. Go home!"

And Rose smiled triumphantly as it went to Cassandra. "I bet you were the school swot and never got kissed!" she sneered.

"Well, true for the first few years," the Apocalypse said cheerfully.

"At arms!"

Rose raised an eyebrow as her assistants lifted their spray guns. "Oh, yes, very nice," the Apocalypse said sarcastically. "What're you going to do? Moisturize me?" she mocked.

"With acid," Cassandra countered, and the Apocalypse pulled Rose a little behind her. "Oh, you're too late, anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. Oh, you all carried them as gifts, tax free, past every code wall. I'm not just a pretty face."

"Is that even a pretty face?" Rose couldn't help but whisper to the Apocalypse.

The Apocalypse snorted. "Sabotaging a ship while you're still inside it? How stupid is that?"

"I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous."

The Apocalypse shook her head. "You're kidding me," she muttered. "Five billion years, and it all still comes down to money." She looked at Rose. "Never be greedy. First lesson you learn."

"I learned," Rose managed to say.

"Do you think it's cheap, looking like this?" Cassandra asked. "Flatness costs a fortune! I am the last Human, Apocalypse. Me." She sneered at Rose. "Not that freaky little kid of yours."

The Apocalypse's face was taken over by a mask. "Don't you dare call her that in front of me," she snarled.

"Arrest her!" the Moxx shouted. "The infidel!"

"Oh, shut it, pixie!" Cassandra snapped. "I've still got my final option."

"Earth Death in three minutes."

"And here it comes," Cassandra said triumphantly. "You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies, and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How did that old Earth song go? Burn, baby, burn!"

"Then you'll burn with us," Jabe told her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but I'm such a naughty thing. Spiders, activate!" The station rumbled and jerked, and the Apocalypse grabbed onto Rose protectively. "Forcefields gone with the planet about to explode," Cassandra said smugly. "At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. Oh, shame on me."

"Safety systems failing."

"Bye bye, darlings! Bye, bye, my darlings!"

Rose watched her and her attendants get teleported away. "Heat levels rising."

"Reset the computer!" the Moxx cried.

"No," the Apocalypse replied. "We can do it by hand. There's got to be a system restore switch." She turned. "Jabe, Rose, come on. The rest of you . . . " She paused. "Just chill."

"Really?" Rose shouted as they ran off. "You had to say that?!"

"I couldn't help it!"

***

"Oh, and guess where the switch is!" the Apocalypse groaned as they arrived in the engine room, looking across the spinning fans.

"Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising."

She tried a lever nearby, and she watched the fans slow, but when she let go, they started up again. "Great."

"External temperature five thousand degrees."

Jabe held it down, and the Apocalypse looked at her. "You can't!" she protested. "The heat's going to vent through this place!"

"I know," Jabe replied calmly.

"Jabe, you're made of wood," Rose told her, taking the lever. "Go back where you're safe. Get everyone to safety."

"Rose - " the Apocalypse began.

"Someone needs to help you," Rose told her. "Someone who won't disintegrate when the heat gets through here."

Jabe looked at her before nodding and turning to the Apocalypse. "Well? Stop wasting time. Time Lady."

"Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising. Heat levels, hazardous."

The Apocalypse looked at the first fan, then ducked through, cautiously approaching the next fan.

"Shields malfunction. Shields malfunction. Shields malfunction. Heat levels critical. Heat levels critical."

The Apocalypse looked behind her to see Rose still holding onto the lever, albeit sweating hard. Rose swallowed and nodded confidently, and the Apocalypse turned back to the fan, then made it past the second one.

"Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising."

There was a snap behind her like metal on metal, and the fans started speeding up. The Apocalypse looked back in shock to see Rose on the ground, staring at her hands, before she looked up to the Apocalypse, her eyes wide. The Apocalypse closed her eyes before looking back the other way.

"Planet explodes in ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five - "

The Apocalypse snapped open a portal right in front of her and stepped through, emerging on the other side of the fan.

"Four."

The Apocalypse raised the lever when she got there. "Raise shields!" she shouted.

"Three. Two. One. Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair."

The Apocalypse ran back as the fans slowed, and she dropped down by Rose. "Are you all right?" she asked worriedly.

"Hands," Rose whimpered, looking at her burned palms. "But what did you do?"

The Apocalypse sighed, wrapping an arm around her. "Let's go."

***

They entered the main gallery again, and the Apocalypse nodded to Jabe, seeing her safe with her Tree friends. "So what do we do now?" Rose asked.

"Well, I'll tell you what," the Apocalypse began, fire in her eyes. "I'm full of ideas. I'm bristling with them! Idea number one: teleportation through five thousand degrees needs some sort of feed. Idea number two: this feed must be hidden nearby."

Rose's gaze darted to the ostrich egg nearby, and the Apocalypse nodded before smashing it, holding up the device inside. "And idea number three: if you're as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed." She clicked something on the device."

"Oh, you should have seen their little alien faces!" Cassandra's voice laughed, and Rose narrowed her eyes as the skin trampoline was beamed back in. Her laughter faded. "Oh," she squeaked out.

"The last Human," the Apocalypse snorted. "Right."

"So, you passed my little test," Cassandra stammered. "Bravo! This makes you eligible to join . . . er . . . the Human Club!"

"You're not serious!" Rose groaned.

"People have died, Cassandra," the Apocalypse snapped. "You murdered them!"

"It depends on your definition of people, and that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries," Cassandra replied. "Take me to court, then, Apocalypse, and watch me smile and cry and flutter - "

The Apocalypse raised an eyebrow. "And creak."

"And what?"

"Creak." The Apocalypse nodded at her. "You're creaking."

"What?!" Rose looked at the skin, seeing her skin begin to dry out. "Ah! I'm drying out!" she shrieked. "Oh, sweet heavens! Moisturize me! Moisturize me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot!"

"So says the one who raised the temperature," the Apocalypse pointed out.

"Have pity!" Cassandra cried. "Moisturize me! Oh, oh! Apocalypse! I'm sorry! I'll do anything!"

"Help her," Rose whispered.

"Everything has its time, and everything dies," the Apocalypse whispered, almost apologetically.

"I'm . . . too . . . young!" Cassandra wailed before she exploded.

The Apocalypse didn't even flinch.

***

The Apocalypse joined Rose at the gallery window later after everyone had left. "The end of the Earth," Rose whispered. "It's gone. We were too busy saving ourselves. No one saw it go. All those years, all that history, and no one was even looking. It's just . . . "

The Apocalypse smiled softly at her, now knowing why she was so fond of this young woman already. And now she understood a little bit of her as well. She held out her arm. "Come with me," she whispered.

Rose let her wrap her arm around her, and they headed back to the TARDIS. The Apocalypse made her hold out her hands, and she used the sonic screwdriver to fix them up. "There we go," she whispered. "One more stop before the next trip, yeah?"

"Yeah," Rose agreed.

***

Rose stepped out onto a street in London, looking around as the Apocalypse joined her. "Big issue!" someone was shouting. "Big issue!"

"You know, you think it'll last forever," the Apocalypse said as they walked through the street. "All the people and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day, it's all gone. Even the sky." She looked up, and Rose looked at her in confusion before the woman took a shaky breath. "My planet's gone," she whispered, and Rose's breath hitched. "It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust before its time."

"What happened?" Rose whispered in shock.

"There was a war, and we lost," the Apocalypse said flatly. "All those people, and my planet's apocalypse." She laughed bitterly. "What do you know. Ironic."

"A war with who?" Rose asked, but the Apocalypse shook her head. Another time, maybe. "What about your people?"

"I'm a Time Lady," the Apocalypse replied finally. "I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own 'cos there's no one else now."

Rose took a deep breath. "There's me," she offered.

The Apocalypse shot her a look, both shock and amazement in her eyes. "But you've seen how dangerous it is," she told her. "Do you want to go home?"

"No," Rose replied with a grin. "No, not now. But I want - " She broke off, sniffing before starting to grin. "Oh. Can you smell chips?"

The Apocalypse looked at her in confusion before grinning. "Yeah," she replied, starting to laugh. "Yeah!"

"I want chips," Rose decided.

"Me, too."

"Right, then," Rose told her, pointing at her. "Before you get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay."

The Apocalypse grinned. "No money, though."

Rose stared at her. "Now, what kind of best friend are you?" she joked. "Come on, then, tightwad! Chips are on me. We've only got five billion years till the shops close!"

The Apocalypse laughed, and the two girls linked arms and strode off down the street, Rose laughing and telling the Apocalypse a little about the rest of her family, the Apocalypse laughing right along with her, and Rose knew she hadn't been joking about what she had said.

The Apocalypse was definitely her best friend now.

***

Rose is definitely getting more out of the Apocalypse here than she was the Doctor. The Apocalypse is much more emotional about it, too. I mean, think about it: your name, and your planet. Your name was the death of your planet. That's hard to handle. We'll have to see what more Rose can get from her in the interlude. Yes, there will be an interlude. ;)

But what is this portal thing that the Apocalypse can do? Hmm? We'll find that out next, too, and let me know what you think of what I have in mind!

But next up to update . . . the "Human Nature"/"Family of Blood" arc for "Struggling to Adjust!" Who's excited for that??