Beta: TaintedLetter

(≧ڡ≦*)

The stage of the Second Phase took part outside of a magnificent white-stoned castle. The heavy fog of the marshlands dissipated as they neared the castle. Tall white stone walls stretched out as far as the eye could see on either side of the castle doors.

"Everyone, the Second Phase of the exam will occur here, in the Visca Forest Preserve," Satotz called out. "So I shall take my leave. Best of luck to all of you."

As Satotz walked through the group and out of sight, the massive doors opened up to reveal a large courtyard and a mansion—what she initially thought was a castle due to the structure of the stone walls outside.

From inside the courtyard sat a lithe scantily dressed woman with green hair done up in five pigtails. Behind her towered a very large man with a dull look about him.

The woman loudly said, "All applicants who've passed the First Phase, please enter." As a group, everyone began to gather into the courtyard and the woman continued, "Welcome. I'm Menchi, the examiner for the Second Phase."

The large man behind her said cheerfully, "Likewise, I'm Buhara!"

As Miwa neared the examiners she was able to get a closer look at Menchi and Buhara. Menchi was dressed in a black sports bra with a see-through crop top, booty shorts, and high boots. The dark skinned woman was lounging on a purple couch, with Buhara standing behind her.

Suddenly a loud gurgle echoed throughout the clearing.

Menchi turned her head back to look at Buhara. "You must be hungry."

"Starving," Buhara confirmed.

Menchi stood up from the couch, placing her hands on her hips. "There you have it. The Second Phase will involve... cooking!"

"C-Cooking?"

"Wait a minute, cooking?"

'What?' Miwa thought in disbelief.

Running... and now cooking? I thought this was supposed to be difficult, Kurama griped. This is duller than watching paint dry.

"We're here to take the Hunter's Exam," one of the participants snapped out.

"You're right," Menchi agreed. "Your challenge for the Second Phase is to produce a dish that will satisfy our palate."

"Why do we have to cook?!" another called out.

"That's because we are Gourmet Hunters," Menchi said confidently.

For some reason this made the majority of the participants laugh. This seemed to irritate Menchi as she sighed and folded her arms over her chest.

"So, Gourmet Hunters, what are we supposed to make?" mocked one of the men.

"Buhara."

"The required ingredient is pork."

"Pork?

"Any pig from Visca Forest will do. You must use the cooking facilities here to prepare the pork. And you only pass if we both find it delicious."

"And we will evaluate more than just on taste. Don't underestimate the intricacies of cooking, got it?" Menchi flatly added. "When we've both eaten our fill, the Second Phase is over. Go."

(≧ڡ≦*)

Finding pork was easy. It didn't require any effort to sniff out one of the massive pigs, nor chop off its head with a well timed fūton.

Miwa carried her pork over to her station, easily creating a few shadow clones to scour the forest for nearby seasonings, or ingredients. While the stations were prepped with staple ingredients, Miwa didn't want to skimp.

It was a cooking challenge—which she still thought was absurd—so it really wasn't something to be overthought. That being said, since it was such an easy victory it probably meant that a few of the other contestants would just cook the pork and call it done.

She sliced up the pork to help it cook faster, peeling off the skin to get to the meat. She added basic seasoning and then let it cook over the fire.

Oh, no... Don't tell me you're making ramen.

'Who doesn't love ramen?'

But that's so boring!

She wasn't a true chef by any stretch of the imagination but being able to cook was something every functioning adult ought to know how to do.

'Killua and Gon are only children, though,' she thought, looking over to see the two boys had just literally thrown the entire pig on the fire to start cooking it.

"You can't do you that," she told them. "You can't—you can't just cook a whole pig."

"Why not?" Killua asked. "It's just cooking."

"She said it had to be delicious. Do you want to eat that whole pig?"

Gon nodded. "Yeah!"

Killua shrugged. "Sure. It's just food."

Miwa opened her mouth to retort, but shook her head. "Okay..."

As they were cooking, the first contestant finished his pig. He proudly carried up the entire pig that was charred to hell and back.

Unsurprisingly the examiner refused to even eat it, failing him immediately.

'He's an adult!' Miwa thought, aghast. 'You can't—but this—this is basic common sense!'

To Miwa's horror every other contestant did the exact same thing.

Miwa finally finished her very basic pork ramen (something every functioning adult ought to know how to make) and brought it up.

"Oh my God finally!" the green haired woman took a bite out of the ramen and her face twisted. "It's not bad, but it's ramen."

"Ramen is amazing," Miwa said.

"For children," Menchi muttered. "Ugh, I can only really say you're the only one that tried but this is too plain. As a Gourmet Hunter I can't justify passing such a dull meal."

I told you ramen was awful.

'Ramen is a gift of the gods, you heathen!'

(≧ڡ≦*)

Eventually all the other contestants finished going. Buhara let out a contentful sigh, patting his huge stomach. "Ahh, I'm stuffed."

Despite having only taken two bites the entire competition Menchi sighed. "Yeah, me too." She stood up. "There, the competition is over. No one passes. We're done here."

This was, unsurprisingly, met with confusion and discontent.

Bijū bomb time?

'Hush.'

"Stop messing around!" shouted out a particularly angry contestant. The large man snarled out, "I absolutely refuse to accept this."

"In the end you've still failed," Menchi drawled out.

"Stop screwing around. You asked for pork so we risked our lives to—

"I said to prepare the pork in a manner that satisfied both our palates," she cut in sharply. "No one succeeded. You almost all did the same thing. No effort was made. Only two people broke out of the mold, but both turned out unsatisfying dishes. I'm positive none of you took cooking seriously!"

One of the contestants shrugged and said, "Pork dishes are trivial no matter who cooks it."

This instantly triggered Menchi and the examiner had rushed to grab hold of the contestant's collar, yanking him forward and snarling, "Say that again you piece of shit. Any more crap from you and I'll shove my arm up your ass and knock your teeth out! Don't you mess with me. I don't want any lip service from an amateur who can't even roast a pig."

With her lip curled back she abruptly threw him to the ground, and took a seat back on her couch. "In other words you people don't have the guts to try anything new."

"Shut up!" called out the first contestant. "I'm not trying to become a chef or a gourmet-whatever. I want to be a Hunter! My goal is to be a Black List Hunter. I refuse to have a Gourmet Hunter decide my fate."

"Too bad you got stuck with one, then," Menchi retorted uncaringly. "Better luck next year?"

The contestant turned red in the face and charged at Menchi, raising his fist and shouting, "Don't fuck with me!"

Buhara casually slapped the man away, launching him high into the air where he slammed into the white stone walls.

Menchi pursed her lips. "Buhara, that was unnecessary."

"But if I didn't you would have killed him," Buhara pointed out.

Menchi sighed. "Probably." She stood back up from the couch, casually pulling out and juggling six blades. "Let me be clear. Every Hunter knows how to fight. We take on jobs and quests that take us to perilous places where we have to put our lives on the line. Being a good fighter doesn't mean anything. You lack focus and the willingness to experiment. That alone disqualifies you from becoming Hunters."

'All of this from cooking?'

"Even so," came a distorted voice, as if spoken from an intercom, "isn't it a little excessive to fail an entire pool of applicants?"

Miwa and the others looked above for the source of the voice, finding a blimp with the Hunter logo painted across. She could barely make out a small figure at the edge of one of the windows before it lept straight down, landing in front of Menchi and creating a small crater.

Immediately Miwa could smell sunflowers and sage. While she could not see the man yet—the dust cloud from the crater had not disappeared yet—she could sense his core.

It was the strongest one she had encountered since waking up. It burned with the intensity of the sun. It was disciplined like an elder monk, and well honed like a swordsman's prized weapon.

This man was not someone to take lightly.

Oh, he looks fun. Go attack him.

The amount of his energy—chakra?—was impressive. If Miwa had to relate it to her own, she would say the man had the same amount as her, without Kurama's mixed in.

'I don't think this is someone I want to get on the bad side of,' Miwa thought, her eyes narrowing as she noticed something odd inside of his core.

A sort of taint. It was hard to "see" it with how bright his core felt, but it was definitely there.

'An injury? A poison?'

Whatever it was, it required caution.

When the dust finally settled an elderly man dressed as a monk in white and blue robes walked toward Menchi. He had long, hanging ears, and the top of his head was mostly bald with the exception of a white pony tail. He had long white eyebrows, and a crooked beard.

"Who is that?" one of the contestants asked.

"The head of the Exam Commission, and he's in charge of the Hunter Exam... Chairman Netero."

"Well I work behind the scenes," Netero remarked, his voice weathered. "I only take action when there's an issue, like now. So, Menchi...did you find they lacked the will to challenge the unknown and that is why you failed them after your test?"

A pause from Menchi. "No. I lost my cool when one of the candidates insulted Gourmet Hunters and I made the test harder than necessary."

"In other words you're aware that your test was unacceptable?" Netero continued kindly.

"Yes. When cooking is involved, I lose control," Menchi said quietly. "I've failed as an examiner. I will resign, so please redo the Second Phase."

Netero nodded once. "Mn. But it would be difficult to find a replacement on such short notice. What about this? I'd like you to continue serving as an examiner, but you must also participate in the new test you propose. Is that acceptable? I'm certain that will help the applicants accept their results."

"All right. Then the new challenge will be...boiled eggs!" Menchi pointed up to the airship. "Chairman, can you take us to Split Mountain in your airship?"

"Split Mountain? I see, sounds fun."

(≧ڡ≦*)

A quick ride in the airship had all the contestants gathered atop a massive flat top mountain. The contestants were guided to the edge of a ravine—it split the mountain in half, which is where Miwa guessed the name Split Mountain came from—where huge, thick webs lined the crevices. Miwa could see pockets of eggs the size of her head dangling from the webs.

'Spiders?' She thought with disdain.

"A spider eagle's web. Look below the web and those are the eggs." Menchi then leapt off the edge, diving down to the web before grabbing on to one of the strands. She hung there for a moment before she let go, falling down into the ravine and grabbing one of the eggs.

Just as they lost sight of her in the fog below, a huge updraft of wind carried her all the way back up the cliff.

"Ooo!" Gon exclaimed, while his and Killua's eyes lit up with excitement.

"That looks fun!" Killua said with a grin.

"This ravine has updrafts that help newly hatched chicks fly up to the web."

Menchi landed gracefully, holding up her prized egg. "There. Now you just need to boil the egg."

"Y-You must be joking—"

Miwa stood at the edge of the cliff. Updraft didn't matter to her. She could run vertically back up the wall, use her fūton to carry her up, mark the top with hiraishin...

"—no sane person would jump—"

Without a worry, or care, she jumped off the edge at the same time Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio did so as well. Gon and Killua let out excited shouts doing so, loving the drop down. It made Miwa smile to see the two boys so genuinely happy.

'So cute,' she thought.

While her companions took the opportunity to grab onto one of the webs, Miwa went ahead and dove past them to grab an egg. She then used fūton: senpū to launch her all the way back up to the top.

'If Gon and Killua fall I'll just teleport back down and grab them,' she thought as she landed.

The chairman ooo'd upon her arrival, rubbing his chin. "An excellent use of nen."

'Nen?'

Nen?

'Maybe that's what they call chakra?' Miwa guessed. She offered the chairman a small smile. "Thank you, sir."

"Who was your instructor if you don't mind me asking?" he inquired.

'Uh...'

I was.

'You were?'

I taught you the importance of my power, which thusly makes me your greatest instructor.

Miwa bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at that. To the chairman, she admitted, "I don't remember my instructor anymore. I've lost almost all of my memories."

"Hmm."

The updraft carried up the contestants that had jumped, along with Gon, Killua, Leorio, and Kurapika. Menchi glanced over at the other contestants who had not jumped, snidely asking, "What about you? Giving up?"

"It takes courage to concede, too," Netero remarked.

(≧ڡ≦*)

The boiled eggs tasted pretty good. Certainly better than typical eggs, but nothing too special. Miwa personally thought ramen taste better, but whatever.

'It'd make a good egg ramen dish,' she thought.

Stop.

(≧ڡ≦*)

BONUS TT!AU - In which Miwa, Killua, and Gon have traveled back to this point in time with all the knowledge / skills they possess.

Scenario A - In which only five remain.

Menchi gaped when she had a bite of yet another amazing meal. "I—I can't fail any of you. Pass, pass, pass! All of you pass."

Gon, who had secretly prepared all five meals, grinned. "Neato."

(≧ڡ≦*)

Scenario B - In which the trio are well behaved up to this point.

"Clearly only these five pass. The rest of you need a cooking class."

(≧ڡ≦*)

Answer: I think it'd be awesome to be reborn into a new world as Naruto's sibling.

Question: What pork dish would you have prepared?

Reviews are love!