"People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense." ~ Ken Kesey

Tsholofelo Mofokeng.

"This tastes funny mahn." Aldo said with a disapproving look. Leo and I wanted to burst out laughing.

"I'm offended that's my grandmother's Appeltaart recipe." Leo said faking being hurt.

"We ain't used to these things maybe you should leave some for Mr. De Ruiter." I said in all honesty, it look scrumptious but it tasted funny. I mean cooked apples isn't so great or maybe I'm just not used to it.

"Okay so what do you eat around here ?" Leo asked curiously.

"Kota." Aldo and I said in unison.

"I mean die Eldos Kota obviously." Aldo said arrogantly.

"I mean the Kota from Soweto." I said crossing my arms.

"What's Quarter ?" Leo questioned still eating his apple what not.

"It's bread and-" Aldo was interrupted by the knock on the door. We both started panicking. If Mr. De Ruiter found us having breakfast on his dinning table with Leo, oh goodness I do not want to even fathom the feeling of terror that would wash over my entire body.

"Oh Here ( oh God ), ons is dood (we are dead). Aldo whispered to himself but loud enough for both Leo and I to here.

"I will get the door." Leo chuckled at the way Aldo and I were acting. Ofcause he wouldn't know the feeling of always feeling like you were doing something wrong even if you had not only because of your skin color. I made myself busy by going to the kitchen. Clearing up the kitchen counter. I slightly peaked from the corner of the kitchen door.

"Ek is Randy. Neighborhood watch." I felt relief wash over me. I hated Randy, i just hated him. He was an arrogant racist bastard well ain't they all ? I rolled my eyes sarcastically. He almost put my brother in trouble the other day. It was ofcause entirely my brother's fault but-

"And ?" Leo rudely remarked.

"Mr. Johan told me to come over check if everything is okay..." He walked in looking around then his dog followed which made me really mad because I will have to clean again.

"Well I'm not a child, I'm fine." Leo said in a fussy manor. I hadn't even realised Aldo had used the back door to go outside leaving me alone.

"I know but you are new here so you might not know how things work with the Kaefers." He said clicking his tongue, his hands in his pockets.

"They are just like monkeys. You should not be nice to them because they will take advantage of you." Randy said in a nonchalant tone.

"You should go." Leo said in a bored tone, holding the door open for him.

"Not even a coffee invite. I know that meisie (girl) for De Ruiter makes good coffee. She is bloody mooi (nice/beautiful)-" He paused. " Never mind, I will be taking my leave. Rhino let's go." He whistled so his dog could follow him out.

I wasn't sure if he was talking about me or Thembi but I was just glad he was gone. I looked at the window and saw him talking to Aldo who was shaking in his boots. Randy was an idiot, he spent more time in people's houses than actually block watching. If there if was a robbery or anything like that, Randy would be the first to run.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, i hadn't realised someone's arms had snaked around my waist. Making me blush. "Leo, Aldo might catch us." I whispered.

"Aldo doesn't mind." He's hot breath was on my neck so I turned around and looked at his eyes, there was a glint in them. I found them mesmerising, instead I hung my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. I didn't ever want to let go, his cologne and the smell of his aftershave. He held me tightly in his arms until I broke the silence... "I don't ever want you to leave.." I whispered, i wasn't meant to say that out loud but I did. I didn't want to seem like I was pushing him to say things because we are sleeping together. I wanted him to say it from the heart on his own.

"Me neither." I immediately felt relieved when he replied atleast this feeling wasn't one sided.

"What are we doing ?" I pulled away from him and slightly pushed him back. I'm so bipolar, one minute I'm feeling great and the next I'm feeling like everything is a mistake and it shouldn't be happening. I'm just scared to be on the wrong side of the end. Ofcause Leo is on the right side because he is visiting and he is getting free sex from a black maid. I feel cheap but at the same time I feel loved. What am I really seeking ? affectionate. Well then I'm certainly bucking on the wrong tree.

"Hope, are you even listening to me ?" He asked a smug plastered on his face, it just made me feel all warm inside.

"It doesnt matter, when Mr. de Ruiter returns this-" i pointed at him and I. "It has to stop." I turned around but he pulled me back, he's face fell. He seemed hurt but it's better for us both to be hurt now than later on.

"What do you mean ? are you notenjoying this as much as i am ?" He said under his breath.

"Leo, i-uhm-erh-argh it's too good to be true." I attempted to pull away but he only pulled me closer.

"I'm not sure of my feelings right now but what I can tell is i care about you and you are special." He's hand caressed my cheek. Does it sound stupid that I actually somehow wanted him to say 'I love you' well bummer. I'm inlove with him, I'm so stupid. How can I not fall inlove with him, with the way he treats me and the way he pleasures me. His mere smile sends me to heaven. I get lost in his eyes... After having his way with me, all he can say is I'm special darn it I'm special.

"Okay." was the only thing that escaped from my lips. Why couldn't I say everything that was on my mind. I found it hard to express myself but in this case I just need to get over it and him.

Tsholofelo, he is leaving soon. Don't get attached.

Well that's the thing I already am. The doorbell saved me from more awkwardness, atleast I didn't tell him how i feel. I won't, i should just ended this now. Go back to my normal life. Forget this ever happened because it didn't mean anything to him but it meant everything to me.

"You should get the door." I snirveled, my voice was shaky and I knew if I stood here any longer under his scrutinizing gaze I would just cry.

"See that's why I didn't want to tell you. You are probably going to cry now." Sam's words rang in my head so I blinked my tears away and smiled then solemnly walked away.

Leo went to get the door. I went upstairs to my surprise the telephone was ringing so atleast now I have an excuse for staying upstairs and not wanting to see him.

Mr. De Ruiter always allowed me to answer his landline calls well mostly because he didn't know how to use the telephone. The day he bought it, i read out the instructions and helped him with it. An interesting fact was Mr. de Ruiter couldn't write a proper sentence in English, ofcause he could speak it but the only thing he could write fluently in was Dutch or Afrikaans same thing but bottomline is he is a self centered bastard who does not like learning new things.

I have to suffer obviously because I write his letters while he sits there and tells me what to write then Aldo mails them at the post office so maybe getting a telephone was a good idea because writing letters, i suffered the most.

"De Ruiter residence ?" I picked up the phone. Mr. De Ruiter told me to always answer like that because he mostly had business calls.

"Hi, Can I speak to Leo ?" She spoke in a very thick accent like Leo but his accent was better.

"He isn't here at the moment but I can give him your message ?" I added.

"Oh okay that's fine. Please inform him that I went to look at the wedding rings and his mother just bought it on his behalf, it was just so beautiful. I'm sorry, it's just-" she seemed excited and my heart seemed to fall with a thud.

"Oh-" was the only gasp that escaped from my lips.

"I know it was a different proposal but I'm happy his mother was there to inform me. It was romantic. Tell him I love him and I appreciate it. I can't wait to see him when he gets back."

"Uhm he is right here actually so can talk to him ?" I mustered a smile looking at Leo who stood on the door of Mr. de Ruiter's study.

"If it's my uncle tell him,  I'm not here.." He whispered with a smirk his hand slipping under my dress but I immediately hit him on his hand and he moved it away.

"It's your fiancée." I said giving him the telephone.

Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.

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