"You've got to dance like no one's watching and love like it's never going to hurt." ~ Anonymous

Tsholofelo Mofokeng.

I couldn't sleep, i felt sad. Sad because my father just decided to abandon us but I knew deep down it was more than just that. It had been over a week and Leo wasn't even giving me as little as a glance. I didn't understand why ? had i done something wrong. I had even started fixing my hair and putting effort into my looks, i felt stupid for actually thinking he found me appealing. Hey did I even care so much ; it shouldn't matter. He will be gone soon...therefore I should not get attached.

"Eita ?" someone interrupted me.

"Tsholo, you have put ses (six) tea spoons in your tea already." Aldo said giving me a pat on the shoulder. That is when it dawned onto me that I was so deep into my thoughts, i wasn't even present physically.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my-" i started panicking thinking if Mr. De Ruiter walks in, he won't only give me a lecture but I won't get this week's wage. Aldo started laughing hysterically revealing his two gold tooth on the canines and honestly I felt like hitting him with the dish towel near by.

"Chilax mahn, Meneer left for die mother city." He said calmly and I stopped.

"It's not funny, Aldo." I scrawled at him.

"For real Mahn, he went to check his Vineyard with daai mahn die older Le roux." He explained in his deep accent but I managed to grasp what he was saying.

"He gave Thembi and Sis Nandi a twee (two) days off maar Jy (but you) have to stay on duty." He added.

"Oh okay, that's means less work for me." I smiled broadly.

"Nee (no) mahn, daai man Leo is still daar." He continued and my heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.

"Morning." a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts, i couldn't even blink.

He was dressed in a navy blue long sleeve shirt, he looked different. I had never really seen him anything but formal clothing. He always looked mesmerising. The smell of his clean shaven face. He didn't have a smile on his face right now and that made me remember that he was disgusted by what we did. It was my fault because I allowed him to touch me in those certain areas however he wanted.

you saw him naked.

The memory immediately came back to me and I blushed while mentally beating myself up for being such a retard an embarrassing one for that matter.

"Eh Uhm er-" i stuttered.

"Don't worry about it, i will just make my own tea." He gestured for me to stop. I felt even more angry at myself for being an idiot right now. Aldo awkwardly stood up and my eyes were mentally begging him... 'Please don't leave..'

"I will catch yola later, Calvin and I are going to play a bit of zwipi." He said putting on his bucket hat. Whenever De Ruiter went away, Aldo and Calvin ( the garden boy from across the street ) would go and drink a bit of alcohol sometimes gamble around the corner of the suburban residential area.

"Alright Aldo." Leo replied while putting his tea.

"I-i-i have to do the laundry." I muttered fumbling with my hands, i did not want to be alone with him. He intimidated me.

He smirked and took a sip from his coffee. "Hope, are you sure no man has ever touched you before ?" He asked smoothly and I could feel my heart pounding monotonously.

"Uh yes." I stared at the tiled floor. He walked over to where I was standing, his lean body towering over my petite body.

"Are you sure ?" He took a step closer to my body and gently laid his mug on the counter. I nodded and he sighed raking through his blonde hair, he let out a shaky breath.

"Fuck, the things I want to do to you." He licked his bottom lip and my stomach was doing flips. My skin had goosebumps. I gulped down all the saliva that I had not realised, i had been holding.

"You have no idea, how much restrained I'm putting on myself right now not to bend you over that counter and have my way with you." He whispered in my ear. His hot breath sending voltage shooks to every part of my body. My breath hitched in my throat when I felt his hands move slowly to my waist. I couldn't think straight. He brought me close to his chest until we were breathing the same air. I was looking at his chest, knowing that he was already looking at me.

Whenever he talked like this, i thought I would hate it but goodness twisted my insides into a knot.

he's right hand traced my bottom lip, softly, my lips automatically parted. I felt something poking my abdomen. "Do you feel that ?" He asked his breath fanning my face. I nodded not having the strength to do anything other than that.

"That's what you do to me, every single day and theses cold showers ain't helping either." He spoke in a husky tone.

But why I thought he was disgusted by me.

I felt his left hand move from my small waist following the shape of my butt. I felt tingly everywhere. My breath hitched when I felt him lifting my long dress up slowly till his bare hands were holding my butt cheeks. It felt good so good that I was oblivious about the zebra stripes all over my body. I felt like a cow being milked dry because everytime he squeezed my butt, my panties twisted into a knot and warmth radiated from in between making me feel moist down there.

what is going on with me ? I thought but I wasn't given much of an opportunity to think because his soft lips crushed onto mine. As stupid as I am, my lips did not resist following his lead infact my arms willingly snaked around his neck.

I knew what we were doing was wrong but I couldn't bring myself you stop. It felt good. It felt right when lifted me from the tiled floor aimlessly placing on the counter. The kiss was now faster and hungry, if he was going ignore me after this, i would want to enjoy this moment right now.

Whenever I was with him, i lost my sense of decency. "Hope, Do you want me to take you upstairs ?" He asked cautiously. His face only metres away from mine, His green eyes looking at the window of my soul, searching for an answer.

I was tired of feeling miserable, tired of being unhappy. He made me feel different and even if it was for a few minutes I wouldn't mind forgetting about being me, being black, being in my shoes for a few minutes. How long does sex even last ? I wondered.

Every cell in body was screaming yes, Marriage was overrated. My culture would disown me, after this. My father already had so I didn't have a culture. This was me being selfish and gripping happiness as it was being given to me on a silver platter.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"Are you sure love ?" I felt a small tug on my chest because it was the first time he called love.

"Yes, I'm sure." I said quickly lacing my lips with his. I didn't know what had gotten into me. He lifted me up off the counter and made his way upstairs.

this is it.

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HEY ITS WEDNESDAY 😊.