On your second day of high school, life only got worse.
"Get out a writing utensil and start as soon as you get the test," Mr. Tsukiyama said, smiling sadistically as he handed out the tests, clearly deriving joy from his students' pain.
"Why is this part of my life?" Hide sobbed, pleading with Mr. Tsukiyama. "Please, O mighty one! Resend thy great evil!"
Mr. Tsukiyama ignored him and instead personally handed Kaneki his test, winking at him and making Kaneki go into awkward face spasms.
As soon as he turned away, Itori whispered, "If you want help, you can copy off of my test."
"But, Itori-san...you always fail."
She grinned. "Yep. If you ever need help failing, just ask."
What the heck is going on?? Kaneki wondered, nervously beginning his test. After a few minutes, cosines and sines blurred with tangents and cotangents until he wasn't sure what a pi even was anymore. Then, when he turned to the final page of the test, he saw a series of numbers scrawled across the extra credit space in red pen. He looked up in confusion to see Mr. Tsukiyama wink at him and mouth, "Call me." Shivering in terror, Kaneki looked back down at his test and just admitted defeat.
As soon as the bell rang, he handed his test to Itori, asking her to hand it in (she smiled scarily and he wondered if that was a bad thing), but then he saw Mr. Tsukiyama searching for him so he quickly ran out before he was kidnapped and shoved into Mr. Tsukiyama's white, unmarked van.
He dropped into his seat in physics, panting from sprinting (Tsukiyama saw him trying to make a stealthy exit and began chasing after him). Mr. Nishio fixed his glasses-enshrined eyes on Kaneki and glared at him for no reason until the bell rang, when he asked Kaneki, since he'd been soooo eager to get to physics, to please complete the problem on the board.
Kaneki got up, feeling sick, and walked up to the whiteboard, wincing as he read the problem.
If the ratio of the radius of an orange to the sun is 1:10 billion, and one were to drop an orange off a cliff with the height of 85,000 feet, if one were to drop the sun off a cliff (of equal proportion), at how many seconds would it reach terminal velocity?
Kaneki started choking from the physics overload to his brain and had to be escorted by a classmate to the nurse's office.
"Sorry," he apologized to the nurse. "I'm in your care."
"(Why the hell are you bothering me?) Yeah," said a male not much older than Kaneki himself, sitting behind a laptop.
"Excuse me?" Kaneki asked after a moment.
"(Why do I have to deal with this?) What is it?"
"Can I...um...lay down or...something?"
"(Frick off) Yeah sure. Whatever. (Stop bothering me)."
Kaneki read the name tag on his desk, which read Urie Kuki, before going to lay down on a cot. He felt relatively stable by seventh period, so he got up. "Bye, Mr. Kuki."
"(Hurry up and leave already so you can stop wasting my time) ..."
Kaneki walked into Home Ec and waved back at Hide, who was grinning at him and trying to put on the pretense of worry. "Hey, man! You're still alive! That's great."
Kaneki nodded, giving him a small smile. "Yep. All better now."
Hide leaned closer. "So, what happened? I heard that Nishio stabbed you and you started bleeding out and had to be taken away in an ambulance." He looked at Kaneki with admiration. "And that part about when you were lying in a pool of your own blood, and your last words were, "Tell Hide...that he's my best friend, best of all best friends..." And then, in a shimmer of mist, you disappeared and rejoined your relatives in Heaven." Hide looked like he was going to start sobbing with the emotional purity of the scene.
Kaneki just glared at him. "HIDE. I AM STILL HERE!"
"Oh, so you're okay?" asked a voice from behind him, and he turned.
"Oh, hey, Kaze."
She nodded. "So you're all better? I heard that you had to leave class because of slight anemia."
Hide turned to you with a face of disappointment and betrayal. "Seriously? ANEMIA?" His eyes teared up. "But...you really said...that I was your BFF, right?"
"Uh..."
Kaze, just noticing Hide, waved at him, not because she knew him but because he was your friend. Before your eyes, he instantly changed from a sniveling loser into a composed young man.
"Hello, there," he said, extending a hand to shake, but the one who shook it was not Kaze but the person who just walked up behind her.
"Hello to you, too," Ayato growled, shaking Hide's hand hard.
When he pulled away, Hide was glancing down at his hand in wonder. "I'm pretty sure I just heard a crack. Or maybe it was more of a snapping noise...or maybe..." Hide started imitating sound effects to match the broken bone in his hand while Kaneki frantically searched for the teacher.
"Ms. Kirishima, can Hide please see the nurse?" he asked as soon as he found her.
"Sure thing. What's the problem?"
They both looked over at Hide, still mumbling sounds to himself. Kaneki winced.
"He needs to take his anti-insane prescription."
***
Later that day~
"Doesn't it strike you as odd that the nurse is male?" Hide asked on the way home from school.
"You mean Mr. Kuki? Yeah, a little bit."
"I thought so, too, so I told him that." Kaneki once again winced at his friend's stupidity. "Only, it was weird, because after I told him that, when he went to fix my hand, I thought I heard another crack. Or maybe it was more of a snapping noise..."
Please let high school get better than this, Kaneki moaned inwardly.