-Monday Morning

Heaven

My dad left for work early so it was just me and my mama at the house. I haven't been talking to her all weekend, I locked myself in my room and only came out when they were asleep.

"You want breakfast sweetie?" My mom asked as I walked downstairs

"I'm not hungry" I slipped my jacket on

"I made your fav-"

"I'm not hungry" I repeated, this time glaring at her

I was nervous about going to school today. I'd have to face Christopher. What if he told someone about the bruises he saw? What if he treats me differently now?

"Well, have a good day at school. I love-"

I exited before she could finish her sentence. If she really loved me then she wouldn't want to see me hurt. Physically or emotionally.

I made my way to Keyona's house and knocked on the door. She answered with a mug on her face.

"Whatchu' want?" she rolled her eyes

"W-We walk to school together" I answered

"Oh now you wanna walk with me? Where's Christopher?" she mocked

"Me and you always walk to school. I just go with him when I-I have to work on my p-project" I answered, wishing I could stop stuttering

I only did it when I got really nervous. Which is mostly all the time.

"Let me grab my book bag" she sighed

I wrapped my arms around myself as I waited for her to come back to the door.

"Let's go" she tossed her bag on her shoulder and closed her door

We walked in silence for a few before she asked me something.

"How was yesterday with Christopher?" she mocked my tone again

"Could you stop it?" I glared

"You do say his name like that. You got the biggest crush on him" she chuckled

"I don't" I answered for both of her statements

"Girl, who you tryna' fool?" she fanned her hand

"N-Nobody. I don't like him like that..." I trailed off

"Mhm"

Even if I did like him it doesn't matter now.

But yesterday he did admit to his friends that he liked me. But yesterday he also saw the ugly bruises on my face, left by my father.

"See, you over there thinking about him now" she nudged me as we walked into the school

"No I'm not" I straight faced her, walking to my locker

Our lockers were right beside each other's.

"Sureeee" she smiled sarcastically as she opened hers

"You have a pencil? I left mine" I asked, getting nervous

I spotted Christopher down the hall and he was getting closer.

"Yeah. Hold up" she searched her bag

I grew impatient as she searched. I looked up and seen him getting closer by the second.

"I-I'll just ask my first block teacher" I said

"Found it" she smiled, holding a pencil up

"Thanks. I'm going to head to first block. See ya" I said quickly

She said something else but I didn't stick around to listen.

You can't hide from him all day. Y'all have third block, lunch, and fourth block together. My consciousness spoke to me.

* 3rd block *

"Alright class, partner up"

I stayed in my seat, sketching lines random lines down my paper.

"You been avoiding me all day" his voice said

I didn't look up, I was to embarrassed.

"L-Let's start the project" I said barely audible

He respected my wishes and sat down so we could begin the project.

"Alright. Over the weekend I jotted down a few questions I could ask you." He started

"I actually have-"

"No. I never ask you questions and today I am" he grumbled

I nodded, showing him I was listening

"Why are you always so nervous?" He asked

"I don't k-"

"That isn't an answer. I need a mature answer, not some soft ass child answer" he growled

"I-I-I fear messing up...so when I t-think about it, I get nervous" I fiddled with my fingers

"Why you so shy?" He asked in a harsh tone

Why's he being so mean?

"Meeting new people makes me t-that way"

"I ain't new to you and you still shy around me. Why?" He asked

"I-I don't know"

"Didn't I just say that wasn't an answer?" He asked rhetorically

"S-Sorry" my hands shook

"Now, why you so shy around me?" he asked again

"You're-I-I'm like this around everyone." I lied

What I wanted to say was "You're cute and I have a developing crush on you" but I couldn't say that.

"If you say so. Next question, why you so afraid to open up to people?"

"I'm af-fraid t-that-"

"Stop stuttering" he mugged me

Wow. That hurt.

"S-Sorry"

For the remainder of the class he shot question after question, and I tried to answer without stuttering. I couldn't help the fact that I stuttered, I was scared around him, I feared opening up. I only stutter when I'm nervous or scared, I can't help it.

*

"You look like you wanna cry. You ok?" Keyona asked

"I'm fine. I have to go to the restroom" I stood up from the lunch table and headed to the bathroom

Thank goodness nobody was in the bathroom. I don't want to seem like a big baby, but Christopher hurt my feelings. I'm sensitive and all he did was hammer me with questions in the most harsh tone.

"You got some powder? My pussy don't smell to pleasant" a voice said, walking into the bathroom

"Nah, I think it's this weather change we having. Mines stink too" another girl said

I dabbed my tears away and checked my makeup in my handheld mirror.

"Or maybe that homemade wax we used. It makes me itch like hell, I got a few bumps-"

I exited the stall, greeted by Chantelle and a friend of hers.

"Well if it isn't the girl who think she can steal my man" Chantelle said

I ignored her and washed my hands, even though I didn't use the restroom I still touched doors and stuff.

"You need to stay away from Chris" she looked at me through the mirror

"And you need to stay away from me" I shook my wet hands in her face.

I don't know where this confidence came from, I guess I was tired of her being annoying.

"Did she just?... Oh hell no!" she slammed me against the wall

"Get off of me!" I yelled

"Listen and listen good, I don't know who you think you are but I run this! Stay away from Chris and know your place lil girl" she got in my face

"Your pussy isn't the only thing that smells unpleasant" I covered my nose and mouth signaling her breath wasn't fresh

She backed away, covering her mouth and running out the bathroom.

"Wait Chantelle!" her friend called, running after

Wow. I've never done that before...

I smiled at my actions and finished drying my hands off, exiting the bathroom. I headed back to the lunchroom, bumping into someone in the process.

Y'all peep lil Heav out 😏

Leave feedback though! 😊

-Carlisha