I closed the door behind me and I heard the lock click shut on the other side.

"Babe?" I heard Logan call from the bed.

I walked over and sat beside him. "Sorry." I said simply, knowing that it was a loaded word.

"Where'd you go?" He asked, brushing my hair away.

I laid back on the bed. "Calvin came to talk to me." I said truthfully.

"Calvin?" Logan repeated, dislike painted all over his tone.

"Yeah. He wanted to talk."

"About what?" Logan demanded.

I shook my head. "Nothing really."

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Then why did he come then?" He asked. "Just to talk to you about nothing?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes ahead of me. "I guess."

Logan shifted next to me and I could feel his glare on my face. "Look at me." He demanded and I turned my face to him, my eyes still not focusing on him. "Did something happen with you two?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then why are you being so weird right now?"

I finally looked him in the eyes and sighed, guilt tearing at my insides, making me feel sick to my stomach. "Because something could have happened." I said softly. "I stopped it, but it could have."

Logan leaned away from me, the mix of pain and anger on his face making me drop my eyes back down to the bed. "Rachel." He said my name, his scruffy voice not wrapping around it the way that his does. "You told me I didn't have anything to worry about with you coming here."

I blinked hard, getting the tears out. "I didn't think you did."

He widened his eyes. "But you do now?"

"I don't know...I feel...conflicted, Logan." I croaked out.

Logan threw the blankets away from him and got out of the bed, stomping to the other side of the room. "Conflicted?" He shouted. "You feel conflicted? Rachel, we are supposed to be getting married, we are supposed to be a family!"

The tears kept coming. "I know, Logan." I whimpered. "I know that, and I still want that, I just...Seeing him again just brought up a lot of stuff for me, and I don't know how I feel about it all. I thought I was passed it, but..."

"Just stop talking, Rachel." He snapped. "Just stop."

"Logan, I'm sorry, I love you and I wanted to be honest with you." I cried, wanting to go to him, but knowing he would turn away from me if I tried.

"Honest with me? Honest like when you didn't tell me that you were already married, or that you still had feelings for some bloodsucking asshole?" He turned on the lights and I could see how red his face was with anger. "Call Octavia." He snapped. "I want out of this goddamn room."

I got out of bed and tried to go to him but he gave me a look and pointed to the counter where the pager was. "Logan, please, I don't want you to go anywhere, and it isn't safe. Just stay here. I'm sorry, I just didn't want to keep anything from you because I want to have a future with you. I meant what I said when I told you I would marry you."

"Oh yeah? And where does your husband fit into that future you want with me?" He yelled then stomped over to grab the pager himself, dialing Octavia's number. "Get me the fuck out of here." He yelled into it. "I don't care, I want to get out of this room." He said slamming it back down on the counter and then going to wait by the door.

"Logan!" I yelled. "Please, don't go!"

"Next time, Rachel, just lie to me." He sighed when the door unlocked.

Octavia glanced in at me and saw me crying then looked back up at Logan's red face. "Where are you wanting to go?" She asked him.

He pushed out the door passed her. "Anywhere that is away from her right now." He snapped.

Octavia glanced back at me again and I just nodded my head to her. If he needs some space from me, I will give it to him. "Keep him safe." I told her and she nodded her head once.

The door clicked shut again and I walked slowly back to the bed, laying on top of the covers. This is all harder than I had expected it to be. I love Logan, and all he has been for me over the last two years, but...There shouldn't be a 'but'. I should be able to just say, I love Logan. Leave it at that, and be happy, but I can't.

Seeing Calvin again...

I felt things in me I hadn't felt in ages.

I closed my eyes as I hugged up to a pillow, but sleep wouldn't come.

I laid there until the knock came and two girls came in with things to help me get ready a couple of hours later, Octavia following behind them. "Good evening." She cheered as she walked in.

I rolled out of the bed and walked over to the vanity and plopped down in in the chair. "Yep." I nodded and she rolled her eyes.

"Logan is staying in a room near mine." She said. "I'm watching out for him, and he chose not to leave." She said. "He just wanted to get some distance."

"Yeah, from me."

She nodded her head. "What happened exactly?" She asked. "Calvin says nothing happened between you two, so why is Logan so angry?" She twirled her long hair around her fingers, her sculpted eyebrows lifted high.

I leaned back in my chair while the girls brushed out my hair. "Because I'm an idiot and I told him that I pretty much wanted something to have happened."

"Did you want something to happen?"

I sighed, and this time I ignored the question, taking Logan's advice to learn when I should just lie. "How long until the meeting?" I asked instead.

She lifted her arm, checking the time on her watch, then she fanned out her black knee length dress. "They are already gathering now, and we are just going to get you ready then you will head on up."

"Great." I muttered unenthusiastically.

The girls curled my hair and pulled it all to one side, tying it off with a deep blue ribbon, then they applied some make-up, more than I have worn in a long time since I rarely ever use it anymore. When they finished with that, Octavia helped to zip me into a blue cap sleeved, V-neck, knee length dress that had a gold belt that wrapped around my waist, and I slipped into a pair a tan pumps and we were ushered out of the doors.

My entourage of guards was smaller this time, five instead of dozens.

"Your majesty." Cromley bowed to me then followed to my right, while Octavia stayed on my left.

"Don't be nervous." Octavia whispered as we climbed onto the elevator.

"I'm not." I lied, feeling my palms starting to sweat.

She smiled at me. "Your heart is pounding." She said with a tilt of her head.

I smiled back, faying confidence. "Hearts are supposed to do that." I winked.

"Very well, your highness." I gave her a look and she ducked her head. "Rachel, I mean."

I tried to prep myself for what was coming, but I knew there was not really anyway to do that. I was glad that I am pretty much just telling the truth here, because my skill in lying is still pretty low. What made my jitters worse was knowing that Calvin would be there.

We got off on level five, and we worked around, taking a corridor near the library and wrapping around to an area I had never explored before until we reached a room with double doors and two guards standing outside.

They pulled open the doors as we approached and the other guards stopped in the hall, leaving only Octavia and I to walk into the room together. There was a long mahogany table in the center, with nine people standing around it, all bowing as I walked in. I recognized Miss. Angela, and Master Tullis, but the rest were strangers, expect for Calvin, who stood at the front of the room in front of a podium. His eyes roamed me carefully, and I felt the heat from them making me blush.

"Let's begin." A man at the head of the table said courtly, taking a seat and looking up towards Calvin to nod, then looking back to me as Octavia pulled out a chair for me and then sat in the empty spot beside me. "Your highness, it is a pleasure to have you back in Castrum de Petra." He smiled. "My name is Master Marco, and this is the council. I know we didn't have a council in place when you were here, but we help to make governmental decisions so that the weight of our entire population doesn't ride solely on the shoulders of our young king." He explained. "You're here today because you face a very serious charge of desertion of your seat in the royal procession. I do hope that you realize how seriously we take a charge like this one, and I promise you that we are all going to go into this with no predetermined notions, but you will be judged, and a verdict will be handed down. Do you promise to accept whatever decision is made?"

I gulped slightly and looked up to Calvin and he gave a discreet nod. "Yes." I muttered and the council men and women nodded.

"And how to you plea to this charge?" Marco asked.

I bit my lip and looked around at everyone's expectant eyes. "Um, not guilty?" I shrugged and everyone covered their mouths and Calvin shook his head trying to hide his smile. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, your highness." Marco shook his head. "Your delivery was just a bit..."

"Comical?" Octavia offered and he nodded.

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, I plead not guilty of these charges." I said firmly, more confident.

"Very well," Marco nodded. "King Calvin, please proceed."

Calvin pulled a paper out of the pocket in his white button down and placed it on the podium in front of him, fanning it out. "Thank you all for being here tonight." He said. "We are here to discuss the charges of desertion that have been brought upon Rachel here." He said, holding a hand out in my direction. "As most of you have already heard from me, I take full responsibility for her absence here at court." He nodded his head. "She took no part in her leaving here, and therefore should not be charged with any wrongdoing in this case."

"You claim that you sent Miss. Rachel away from here without her knowledge?" A man clarified and Calvin nodded.

"I did." He said firmly. "I was, as you all know, unwillingly forced to participate in my late father's little court game that would lead to my marriage and I resented being forced into a marriage that I didn't want."

His words stung my heart, but I knew that Octavia had told me that he had been proclaiming this, but it did still hurt to hear it come out of his mouth, even if I knew it wasn't true.

"Sir," A woman near me interjected. "You claim to have resented your marriage, and your wife, but you and the queen were married after your father's death." She pointed out. "If you didn't want to marry her so badly, why did you still do it after your father's death?"

Calvin sighed, looking out at everyone except me. "I felt pressured, by the people, and by officials close to me, to secure a marriage with one of the girls to take some of the attention away from the king's death." He said. "I did what everyone wanted for me to do, and afterward I felt suffocated by the decision. I saw an opportunity to get rid of her without any actual crime being done against her. I had her drugged, and she was taken away by a man I paid and delivered back home to her family."

"Yet here she is, back in the castle." Marco said.

Calvin had a slightly flustered look, but he was doing decent under the pressure this room was handing out. "Yes." He said. "I spoke to a few about the truth of her departure, and the news was leaked, forcing her return."

Miss Angela raised her hand and I held my breath, knowing how much she didn't like me. "Can I ask you something?" She said to Calvin and he nodded. "Many people would attest to just how in love the two of you seemed to be." She said. "How are we supposed to believe that you were faking it the entire time? Of course I would never accuse my king of lying, but I do wonder how you respond to that."

Calvin glanced up at me quickly before looking back down, furrowing his brows. "While I understand where you could have gotten that impression, it isn't true. I was never in love with Rachel, I only held her at a high respect and counted her as a friend. I know that her personal feelings for me were something much stronger, and I pretended for the people." He said, and I felt stupid tears running down my cheeks.

"I will agree with Miss Angela's statements." A man to her left nodded. "I always got the impression that the feelings were strong and mutual between the two of you."

"Well they weren't." Calvin snapped. "There was another." He said. "One of the other girls that my father had brought here. I had a relationship with this girl, but I didn't marry her because she wasn't as accepted by the people, and I wanted to please them by marrying Rachel, but my heart always belonged to another."

"Who?" Angela asked.

"Miss Lexton." He said firmly. "There are also plenty who would attest to the fact that we had multiple secret meetings and that I was even on a personal supply of her blood the entire time she was here, not once did I ever take pleasure in the blood of my wife."

A woman in the back of the room raised her hand. "I can put my name to that." She said. "I worked closely with Miss Lexton during that time, and she was giving her blood willingly, and he did call on her multiple times, even sending her letters while he was away from the castle."

My breaths were shaking my whole body as I tried to keep my control. Octavia reached out under the table and put her hand on my knee, then flipped it over, palm up so that I could see what she had written there.

He's lying for you

I shook her hand away from me and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew that parts of what he is saying is lies, but I also know that there is truth in what he is saying about Lexton too.

Marco turned slowly to look at me. "Your highness?" He said gently. "I'm sure this is very hard for you, but would you please give us your side of the story now?"

Calvin moved away from the podium and stood to the side of the room while I walked with led legs over to the podium. "What do you want to know?" I blurted.

"Just tell us what happened the night you left here."

I wiped my eyes, probably smearing my makeup and then held onto the podium to brace myself. I took a deep breath and sighed shakily. "Well, I remember being in my room, and the alarms blaring, the lights flashing." I shuttered at the memory. "I remember going out into the corridors."

"During the dungeon escapes?" A man asked and I nodded. "Why would you leave the safety of level six?"

"I was looking for him." I said flatly. "I was worried about him. I went out and my friends were all killed, then after that it all gets a little foggy. I remember waking up in a car at the airport in the US. I had no idea how to return here, so I went home." I said softly.

"Did you wish to return?" Angela asked and I looked over at her, tears filling my eyes.

"Had I been given a choice in the matter, yes I would have returned. I would have never left." I professed.

"And how did you feel?" Marco asked. "I'm sorry if it is painful, but we need to know the truth. There are rumors that the two of you worked together to help you escape."

I shook my head and fat tears poured down onto the podium. "How did I feel?" I asked. "I felt worthless. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt like I had been betrayed by the person I loved more than anything in the world." I turned to face Calvin, forgetting everything else that was going on in the room. "I loved you." I cried looking into his eyes. "I gave you everything, and you threw me away." I turned back to face the council. "I had no part in my leaving here. I wasn't in on it, or even thinking that there was the slightest possibility that the man I loved and couldn't see a life without, would chose to send me away. I cried for days. Weeks. Months." I sobbed. "I wished and prayed every day that there would be a knock on my door, and that he would be there, telling me I was coming home. So many times I thought I'd seen him in a crowd and gone up to the person only to find a complete stranger, which is now what he is to me." I said looking back at him. "I stand here before you all now, completely innocent of these charges against me. The only thing I am guilty of is being stupid enough to believe that I would have a life here with the man I loved, who apparently didn't love me at all." I turned away from the council and walked back to the door, Octavia coming to my side, putting her arm around my waist, steadying me.

"They will deliberate, and call another meeting when a decision has been made." Octavia whispered to me, opening the door. "You go ahead and go." She said softly, true caring in her eyes.

I nodded my head and walked out into the hall, Cromley at my side.

We made it to the elevator before I heard an extra pair of footsteps behind me.

"Rachel." He said, pulling my wrist towards him. "Give us a minute." He said to the guards and they all dispersed.

"I don't want to talk to you." I cried.

He pulled his brows together and made a face like he wanted to speak but couldn't. He pulled me to the elevator and pressed in the key to the sixth floor. "Rachel, please." He said as the elevator began to move. "I was lying the entire time back there, you know that my feelings for you are true."

"Well I sure hope the council buys your bullshit because I can't wait to get out of here." I spat. "Every word I said was the truth."

He looked down at me, and reached for my face, but I backed away, bumping into the wall of the elevator. "Don't touch me!" I shouted. "I can't believe how stupid I was."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, his face pained.

"I let you get to me again." I said. "I let you slip in and make me forget all the things you put me through, but I remember now." I said lowly.

"Rachel, I'm confused." He said. "I thought you were angry with me because of all of the lies I told you."

I shook my head at him, almost wanting to punch him. "How can you be so stupid?" I asked. "I got over that! I was only angry for a little while about the stupid lies! What I can't get over is how you tossed me to the side!"

"I thought I was doing the right thing!" He yelled back.

"By taking away my choices?" I snapped back.

"You deserved better than this life, Rachel!" He said. "You didn't deserve to be here!"

"That wasn't for you to decide for me, Calvin! I didn't want to leave you. I wanted to be with you and you didn't let me!"

He reached over and hit the stop button on the elevator, making it jolt beneath us. "What kind of future could you have had here?"

I couldn't see him through the fogginess of my wet eyes but that was probably a good thing. "I could have been with you! We could have been together! We could have worked something out!" I cried hysterically, my body shaking and my mind filled with happy images of me Calvin and Rose all together as a family.

Calvin covered his face with his hands. "I didn't know you would have wanted that, Rachel." He sighed.

"You never bothered to ask me!" I shouted. "You decided to tell me the truth and kick me out of your life without a second thought about it!"

"I did think about it!" He yelled back, his eyes darkening slightly. "I thought about it every single day since I watched you leave here! I think of you every day, wondering if I'd made a huge mistake!"

I shook my head. "You did!" I shouted. "But now it is too late." I said, lowering my voice and hitting the button for level five. "I don't want to get sucked back into all of this. I loved you, and I gave you my whole heart, and you didn't trust me enough to let me make my own decisions. I wish I could forget everything. All of it. But I can't, and I can't do this again. Not after what you put me through."

The doors slid open and I stepped out. "Rachel, please, I'm so sorry." He said.

"I wish I could forget." I sighed again as the doors closed.