I laid carefully on my side of the bed, looking up at the brilliant chandelier, admiring the millions of facets in the diamonds. Although it had hardly been more than a day since I'd last seen Logan, it might as well have been centuries the way things have suddenly changed. I hated myself for being weak and giving in to accepting someone else's love when in my heart I always knew that if Calvin were to ever come back, I'd always chose him. It was selfish and stupid of me to let someone into my life, but I never could have foreseen the events that have taken place.

I felt sick to my stomach as I waited.

I never intended to hurt Logan. Never. I truly do love him so much, but it would just be unfair to tag him along when I know where my true feelings lead me. He's a good man. A strong, devoted, funny, caring, and big hearted guy who doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't give him everything. As much as it pains me, I know there has to be better for him out there somewhere.

I wondered idly if this is how Calvin felt. He was caught between two girls once upon a time too, and though he loved me, he did say that he cared for Lexton and didn't like seeing her hurt. I care so much about Logan and hurting him causes me physical pain, but...

There was a commotion in the hallway and I sat up quickly, straining to listen.

"Are you him?" I heard Logan's loud voice bellow. "Are you Calvin?"

"You must be the boy who accompanied Rachel here." I heard Calvin snap back quickly.

"Shit." I muttered, throwing my legs off of the bed and running towards the door.

"You're one twisted asshole, you know that?" Logan said and I stopped in my tracks, leaning my head against the door to listen better.

"Me?" Calvin laughed. "You're the one trying to fill shoes that you never could."

"You know she can't possibly love you!" Logan yelled back. "You're not even human! Whatever she thought she had with you wasn't real. You monsters ripped her away from her family and alienated her, then you come out like a knight to rescue her, but it's all a lie. She clung to you because you were all she had to cling to. She had never even been around another man before you." Logan laughed. "Of course she thought she loved you. It was a classic case of Stockholm syndrome. You were her capture, not her husband."

I gasped a little at his harsh words. I'd never heard Logan lash out like that, and he had never said something like that to me before. Stockholm syndrome? That's what he thought my feelings for Calvin were? I don't guess I can be too surprised. I had wondered the same thing myself over the years, but I had always come to the same conclusion. My feelings were not out of fear or my mind trying to trick me into a comfort with my imprisonment. I truly loved Calvin.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Calvin said so lowly I could hardly hear him. "I love Rachel. I always have loved Rachel. I always will love Rachel." He said. "She is my wife, and the mother of my child. She is irreplaceable to me."

"Yeah well, I love her too." Logan snapped. "And you want to talk about that child you mentioned. The one you know nothing about because you never bothered to be a part of her life. The little girl who calls me daddy, and loves me too. You really messed up there. I love her like you never did."

I knew as soon as I heard the words leave his lips that it would be bad. I ripped open the door and saw Cromley trying with all of his force to pull Calvin away, and Logan on the ground beneath them both, Octavia knelt down trying to pull Calvin's hands away from Logan's neck, and Logan's hands up on Calvin's face, trying to gauge out his eyes. I was frozen for a moment seeing the two of them trying to literally kill each other.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

Instantly, Calvin was up, and pressed his back against his door, still glaring with black eyes down at Logan on the floor. He was panting and his hair was a mess. Logan lurched upward and ran at Calvin again, but Cromley restrained him easy enough. Octavia and I both had wide eyes and she looked just as flustered as I was feeling.

"Let me kill him and then all our problems are gone!" Logan shouted.

I walked over, placing myself between Logan and Calvin. I looked up into Logan's wild gaze and he was breathing heavily, still pulling to get away from Cromley. "Logan." I whispered. "Please, stop this."

"Why are you defending him?" He demanded.

"Logan, please, let's just go talk." I pleaded, but he looked away from me and over to Calvin.

"You sick piece of shit! You'll only ruin their lives! I won't let you!" He yelled.

Calvin lunged forward too, close enough that I had a hand on both of their chests and I was pushing back between them. "I'll rip you limb from limb and then I'll drain you dry, you little weak inconvenience!" Calvin shouted. "It'll only take me two second to do it! Two second to end you!"

"Do it then!" Logan taunted him and I felt fear in me that he might actually do it, so I turned quickly to face only Calvin.

I pulled his face down, forcing him to look into my eyes. "Stop this." I demanded. "You can never hurt him." I said, and as I spoke, keeping my hold on his face, I could feel the sense in him returning as he focused only on me, and not Logan. His eyes shifted, changing slowly from pitch black to a lighter stone color, before finally settling back at a smoky blue. "I need him, Calvin. I need him, and so does Rose. Just think about it. If you were to hurt him, you'd be hurting the man that Rose considers her father." I tried to convince him. "That's not who you want to be to her. You don't want to be the man who killed her father."

"Are you actually going to let this bloodsucking asshole near Rose?" Logan snapped and Calvin's eyes snapped up, glaring at him, but I pulled his face further down to me.

"Please, Calvin." I whispered and he sighed. "Please, just go. I will come talk to you in a little while, ok?" Calvin blinked slowly once, then sighed again as he gazed down at me, reaching up to brush his thumb across my cheekbone before he turned on his heels, followed by Octavia to go back into his suite. Once they were both gone I looked up to Cromley. "Let him go." I said softly, and he dropped Logan's arms and Logan rubbed them like they were sore.

I wanted to be angry with him for the things he had said, but I already knew that I was about to hurt him anyway, so I pushed aside my anger and took him by the hand, pulling him into my room with me.

"Well no wonder you love it here so much." Logan said as he looked around the room.

"I don't love it here." I said simply as I closed the door.

Logan glanced over to the bed, taking in how both sides were unmade. "Has he been in here with you?" He asked accusingly.

I shook my head and held back my eye roll. "No, Logan." I said. "Nothing has happened with us. This is the room that we shared when I was here."

Logan shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, pushing his blonde locks to one side. "What's going on here, Rachel?" He asked, the softer side of him that I was used to seeping through his own anger.

My face betrayed me by scrunching up. "Logan, I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"You're sorry?" He whispered, his eyes dropping down to the ground. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and stepped back to sit on the foot of the bed, putting his head in his hands as he took a few deep breaths.

"Logan, I really am." I said softly, feeling the knife twist in my gut. "I thought I was..."

"You thought you were over it?" He filled in for me and I sighed. "But you aren't." He whispered. "And neither is he."

"I don't know what to say to you." I admitted. "I love you so much, and I can never thank you enough for everything you've been for me and Rose."

He lifted his head to look at me and I saw the sadness in his watery eyes. "Are you kicking me out of her life too?" He asked.

I went to him quickly, sitting beside him and pulling his hand into my lap, latching onto it tightly. "God, no." I assured him. "She loves you, and I know how much you love her." I told him. "I would never take you two away from each other. Sometimes I feel like she likes you even more than she does me." I smiled at him and despite the awkwardness that was filling the room he smiled too.

"I think she does." He joked and I dropped my own head into my hands whimpering through a strained laugh.

"Logan, why are you so perfect?" I whispered.

"Better question is why am I not perfect for you?" He asked.

I looked over at him slowly and he was looking back at me, honest questioning on his face. "You are." I told him. "You really are, I just...I can't get passed him. I know it won't mean much to you, but when I was here, even though you don't think it was genuine, I loved him and he loved me. He was my first love, and I never dreamed there'd be a chance for us, but there is now, and I can't just keep you because I love you too, knowing that I love him more." I admitted. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I can't make you understand, and I never in a million years wanted to hurt you."

"I had a feeling." He whispered, letting my hand go and standing up to walk to the center of the room, staring up at the ceiling like I like to do. "From the moment that Pedro guy showed up at our house, you've been different. I don't know how to put it, but I knew something was happening. You distanced yourself from me. You even kissed me differently, like you weren't even really there anymore. You were somewhere else." He said. "Octavia showed me some of the videos from the competition thing that you were in, and I know it is true that he loves you, and I saw the way you looked at him in those videos." He looked back over at me. "I've never seen that look in your eyes before...not until just now when you were talking to...him." He said. "I can't compete with that."

I felt the tears spring to my eyes. "I don't want you to compete." I told him. "I want you to be happy, and you can never be happy with me."

He nodded his head slowly and tensed his jaw. "I know." He muttered. "You're a different person when you're here."

"Logan..."

"I don't mean that as a bad thing, I swear. It's bad for me, but not you. You're...just different. More outspoken, stronger...shit, I don't know. You're like a freaking queen, which you are." He said. "At home, you were quiet, thoughtful, reserved. I always kind of thought that there might be more beneath the surface, and I wanted to be the person who brought that out in you. I'm not though."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

He walked back over to me, holding out his hand. I took it and he pulled me over, hugging me tightly and kissing the top of my head once. "Don't cry." He muttered over me, then he stepped back, looking down at me with a long face. "Are you sure about what you're doing though?"

"No." I shook my head. "Everything is up in the air, and things are even worse now than when I got here. I have no idea what I'm doing, or what is going to happen to me."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

I shook my head, pursing my lips and fuming over the stupid council again. "They are making Calvin and I, plus the girl he had a blood bond with, participate in a new competition." I told him. "I'll either have to stay here forever, or I'll have to watch Calvin marry Lexton and I will be out of here."

Logan looked worried. "If you have to stay here then what about Rose?" He asked.

I looked up into his eyes. "That's another reason why I would never take Rose away from you." I told him. "On the off chance that something happened to me, or if I am stuck here, I want you to take care of her." I told him, a tear in my eye. "I need you to be there for her."

"Are you in danger?" He asked with his eyebrows raised.

"I'm always in danger here." I told him. "So promise me."

"You know that I will." He nodded down at me, holding me by the shoulders. "You know I love both of you."

"I do know that." I nodded. "So even though we aren't..."

"I would never use you're choosing someone else over me as a reason to abandon Rose. I love her like she is mine, and to me, she is. If I have to, I will take care of her, and I will tell her everyday about the amazing woman her mother is." He said. "But why are we having this conversation? Are you afraid of something?"

I looked up at him and shook my head. "I just know how crazy things get here." I told him. "I can't even remember how many times I was almost killed last time, and I had a little more support from the people then. I don't know what I have now. I just want to know that she is safe if..."

"Of course she will be." He assured me again, then hugged me again. "She'll be calling soon." He pointed out.

"I know." I nodded. "I've been watching the time."

"What do we tell her?" He asked and I leaned back.

"Nothing." I told him. "You are still daddy, and I am still mommy." I told him. "When the time is right, and there isn't a freaking blade hanging over all of our heads, then you and I will explain to her that we are still the same people we were, but we just aren't going to be the same with each other as we were before." I said. "Some of the kids in her class have parents who are divorced and I've explained that to her before. I guess it'll be something along those lines."

His eyes were so sad, and I felt that guilt gripping me again. "I wish...I wish things had turned out differently for us, Rach." He sighed. "I love you."

"I know." I whispered. "I love you too."

He slowly wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and lowered his face to mine, pressing his lips to mine gently. I sighed into it and he held me a little longer. As he leaned away he looked down into my eyes, tears matching mine. "You know," He whispered. "I still hate that guy." He said, trying to smile at me.

I nodded my head. "I know." I said. "I think the feeling is probably mutual."

He nodded back. "It better be."

"I'm sorry." I said again as he started to walk towards the door.

He rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry too." He whispered. "I hope...well, I was going to say I hope everything works out, but...I think that would be a little too much, so I will just go with I hope you can be happy."

I smiled at him. "Thank you, Logan." I said. "You're staying here, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded as he pulled open the door. "What kind of brother would I be to abandon you here now? Besides, I need to be around when Rose calls." I could see through his strong front, he was clearly hurting, but I didn't call him on it.

"Right." I smiled. "Be careful."

"You too."

I stood there for a long time after he was gone, just staring at the door. I knew I'd done the right thing, but my heart still stung for him and for me and for Rose. I walked slowly to the bed and kicked off my shoes, crawling into my spot and wrapping up in the blankets. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a future where everything works out perfectly for each of us, and we are all safe, happy, and loved.

I held onto that dream as I slowly drifted to sleep.