I watched her carefully, trying not to look like I was watching her at all.

She leaned back in her chair and I could see the obvious discomfort in her face, but being the strong woman she is, she hid it well from everyone but me. I know her too well. I'd recognize the way she is holding her eyebrows just slightly higher than usual, and she is biting the inside of her cheek. It's what she does when she is putting up a front.

She glanced so slightly my way, and now her façade is falling apart. Her warm cheeks began to darken, and I could see the buildup of moisture beginning to form in her eyes. She took a shaky breath, giving away her ill ease, and I jolted in my seat, ready to go to her. To protect her from these awful people who want to watch her suffering. If they loved her as a true queen, they wouldn't torment her so, but they do. They like the idea of her, and the fieriness they are able to get from her. She amuses them. I want to rip out the eyes of every person in this room, but before I could do anything reckless Octavia gave me a warning look, keeping me in my seat, before she turned to Rachel herself, holding her gaze and keeping her centered.

I listened quietly as the meeting droned on and on, but finally I couldn't bear to listen to this anymore. They were ruining the plan I had so carefully crafted. I was supposed to have been protecting her, and protecting Rose, but I can't get anything right. I hadn't even considered that the council would decide to reinstate Rachel as queen. That obviously won't work, and neither will me taking Lexton as my wife. I already have a wife, and I will never take another. Until my last breath on my last day, Rachel will always be my queen. I just have to come up with something...anything.

"If we are done here, I have places to be." I snapped, gaining the council's attention. Reminding them that the person who put them in power is still in the room.

Marco dismissed me, but not before taking one last shot at Rachel's confidence.

"We will need to see the competition actually be a competition." He said. "Make it look good..." He was making sure to twist the knife on Rachel. Pointing out to us both that if we are lying, then he will make us as uncomfortable as possible, and even if we were telling the truth, Rachel was going to have to watch me date Lexton all over again. I turned slightly, ready to permanently shut Marco's oversized mouth once and for all, but then she stood.

Rachel slowly lifted from her seat, then she faced the room of tormentors and smiled. Her beautiful, perfect smile to everyone, making sure not a single person missed out. "Of course we will give them a good show." She said confidently.

I was torn nearly in half in my emotions of both being monstrously proud of her for not only taking the last word from Marco, which I know he hates, and for showing the whole room that she wasn't someone to rattle so easily, but also slightly struck with worry at her words. She couldn't possibly mean that she wants me and Lexton to be together? That isn't even a possibility. Lexton is still in Castrum de Petra, but I very rarely see her anymore. I haven't in years. She herself will likely be highly unhappy with this little arrangement. Although she did want me at one time, she has never, ever, wanted to be the queen here. She only chose to stay here because she simply had nothing to go back to. She had been in an orphanage when she was stolen, and now there was no one, not even a last name for her to take, so of course I had offered that she stay here, but I'd never imagined that something like this would come about.

I followed behind Rachel as she strode down the corridors like she owned them with Octavia close behind me with the group of guards. I tried to just be happy for a moment in the wake of Rachel's scent wafting around me, pulling me into its warm embrace, but I couldn't get over that Rachel had been the one to even suggest this dammed idea.

I can't yet think of what might have worked out better than her just accepting the role of queen and trying to find a way out of it later, but suggesting this? It just doesn't make any logical sense. Not unless...

The doors of the elevator closed. Cromley was standing quietly at the front right corner, Rachel and Octavia standing in the center, and I found a place in the back left corner.

Rachel slung her head down, catching her face in her hands before tears sprang free, and her sharp gasp filled the small space. I reached, but Octavia had beaten me to her. She held her in her arms, comforting her like I wanted to be. I cursed her silently for being able to touch her while I'm cold and alone, but then I thought of Rachel suggesting that I find a new queen and I felt utterly crushed again. Why had I let Octavia convince me of this fantasy where I am what Rachel wants? If that had been true, she never would have suggested such a thing. She'd want me to only be hers, not to share me with some other girl, that she now knows would be Lexton of all dammed people.

Octavia tried to comfort Rachel, but she lashed out, pulling away from her. "No! Don't you see? If I stay here and I am forced to be queen again, then what happens to Rose? We could never bring her here after everything now, the council would have me killed for hiding that information, and it would inevitably lead to the truth about my departure."

I turned my face towards the wall. I couldn't stand to see the grief on her face and I didn't know how to fix any of it. At this point, had I known that things would swing this way, I should have had Rose brought here after all. I would have just had to pretend to have no idea about her. I was so sure my plan was going to work, and now I have ruined both of their lives. Again.

"I know, but we-." Octavia tried to say but she stopped.

I could feel that Rachel was looking at me, but I couldn't stand to look back.

"Our only options now are either me being queen, and never having my child back, which I cannot live with, or Calvin has to marry Lexton." She said shakily, the tears gone, realization of her dyer situation sinking in. I stared at her, trying to covey my apologies, but nothing would come out.

I hated that I had done this. I hated it all. I felt like a complete failure in every sense of the word in every aspect of my life. The council I created has risen up against me, the daughter I have will never know me, and the woman I love will never be anything but disappointed in me.

Rachel reached for me, but I turned away. I didn't deserve to be touched by her.

"Calvin." Octavia said my name in her scolding tone, but Rachel shook her head.

"It's ok." She muttered. "I understand him being mad at me."

I couldn't believe the words that had just passed from her lips. "Mad at you?" I repeated, my voice harsher than I had intended. How could she possibly believe I was mad at her, or that she's even given me a reason to be angry? Did that mean that she hadn't meant that she wanted me to marry someone else? Does she still care like I had thought only moments before those words slipped out of her mouth?

I wanted to smile at myself, but the doors opened wide and I walked out to wait for her at her door, giving us both a moment apart to gather our thoughts. How could I have forgotten such an integral part of who Rachel is? I've known from the first few moments of meeting her that she had zero control over the things that came out of her mouth, especially when under pressure.

I looked up, watching her walk towards me carefully, her expression guarded. Her blue dress swayed around her legs, and her golden blonde curls bounced at her side as she walked towards me, the epitome of beauty all encased in one 5'4 girl. Before I knew it she was standing right in front of me, her crystal blue eyes peering up shyly into my darker blue ones. "Rachel, I..." I didn't know what to say. I was too caught up in her to think clearly. Instead of talking I tried to clear my head and put my hand on her door, but as soon as I did, I realized what I was doing. I was about to open the door to our room. The room that holds so many precious memories of this beautiful woman when she was once mine. Memories of happier times that are now painful to revisit when I don't have her in my arms, her skin against my skin.

As I thought of it, her hand found its way over to mine on the door. Her skin was velvet against mine and the familiarity of her touch encompassed me with an overwhelming euphoria like no other. I couldn't resist the urge as I slowly lifted her small hand to my mouth and pressed my lips against it, loving that she didn't even seem like she was considering taking her hand away. It was like she wanted to touch me as badly as I wanted to touch her.

"Calvin," My name on her lips killed me with pleasure. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..." I stopped her pointless apologies as I placed her hand to the side of my face, closing my eyes, imagining all of the times she'd touched me like this years ago.

"Please, Rachel." I whispered to her. "Don't apologize to me" I told her. I don't deserve it. Not until I find a way to free you and reunite you with our beautiful little princess. I will find a way. I slid her hand back down and held it out in front of my face, carefully bringing the tips of each of her fingers to my lips, kissing them tenderly. I stared down into her eyes, and I hardly contained my smile when I noticed it had been a solid twelve seconds since the last time she had taken a breath. "Breathe." I whispered and she obeyed. It was proof to me that Octavia really had been right, which means she'll be telling me she told me so soon, but Rachel is definitely still affected by me. It may only be physical, but that is a start. I smiled, but hated that she was the one feeling bad about our current predicament. "I know that you have no control over your..." Just saying or thinking the word wasn't enough. Not when her mouth was right there in front of me and her eyes were practically begging me to kiss her. I held back, wanting to wait until I am positive that it is what she wants, and not just what I am thinking in the moment, so instead I reached out, brushing my fingers against her full pink lips and practically crumbling to the floor as they parted and she sighed a slight moan at my touch. I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to all the other sounds I have been able to make her make when I touched her body. She used to love it when I would-.

"That has definitely not changed over time." She whispered breathily.

"What?" I was confused, trying to figure out how she had known what I was thinking, and curious if her mind had taken her to the same wayward thoughts that mine had.

She looked down shyly. "My lack of control over my mouth." She explained and I wanted to die at where I had let my head run off to. "I never learned." She smiled up at me and I couldn't help but to smile back at her.

"Ah, of course you haven't." I said. "I wouldn't want you any other way." I said before thinking of how it sounded. Of course I'd want her. Anyway I could have her I'd want her. That was such a stupid thing for me to have said. I shook my head at myself and changed the subject quickly. "You do know that I'm not angry with you?" I asked her and I was relieved when she bobbed her head. "I promise you, I will figure a way out of this, ok?" I asked knowing that somehow, someway, I would make it the truth. I will do whatever it takes to take care of my family.

"Ok." She replied quickly. I hadn't even really expected her to respond, but I was so happy that she did.

I smiled at her. "You trust me?" I asked, starting to hold my breath for her answer, but she didn't even give me time to.

"Yes." She responded without a second of hesitation in her.

I thought I'd be pleased to hear it, but it only made me feel an even heavier pressure to fix things. All things. Her and me, our family, her life, all of it. I needed to fix it all. I not only have to come up with something that saves her and Rose, but something that will also allow us to be together. I need her. I don't want to go another day, much less years without her in my life, but then the boy popped into my head, reminding me that it might not be what she wants.

"Do you want to...I don't know, talk?" She asked me sweetly, her hand on the door.

Just thinking of going into that room was a bad idea. Actually doing it would be detrimental. I'm not sure that I could stay in control of myself with her, alone, in our room. The room we used to...I couldn't stop my mind from going there even as I stood in the hallway with two other people. Going into a room alone with her can only lead to one place, and that is a reunion of our love, and I can't do that with all of this shit hanging over both of our heads, and having to wonder what her feelings will be about the boy if something were to truly happened between us. If given the chance I know that I would confess my love for her ten thousand times, telling her over and over how I never want to be alone again. She is my air. Even more, she is blood to me. The one thing I need to survive. The one.

I couldn't help it. I needed to at least give her a chance, even if I am being a wuss about it. "No." I told her. "I can't go back in there. Especially not with you." I said. "I can never go back in that room unless you are..." I knew she'd ask why if I left the sentence hanging.

"Unless I'm what?" She asked pulling her brows together adorably.

"Mine." I replied. "Unless you were mine." I wanted to give her the opportunity to tell me that I am hers if that is what she feels, but I didn't want to pressure her into it. So I left it at that.

"Oh." She replied softly, but her cheeks flushed ever so slightly, giving me hope.

I smiled at her. "I have some things to tend to anyway." I gave her the excuse. "I have a lot to think about." I added, the truth behind that was heavy. I certainly did have a lot to think about, and now that I think of it, a lot of things that do need tending to. "Please, try not to worry." I tacked on, knowing she would do it anyway.

"Ok." She breathed, her eyes still roaming me as I backed away with all of my will. I looked over to Octavia who winked at me, her silent I told you so, before I stole one last long glance at Rachel before heading into my room to make the unpleasant call.

As soon as the door clicked behind me I chose to put off the inevitable for just a few more minutes by hitting the shower quickly before coming back out into the main room.

"God, Calvin, I'm in here!" Octavia shouted from the couch, covering her eyes.

I laughed, but went into the bathroom to grab some clothes. "Don't be so melodramatic." I told her. "I had on a towel for goodness sake."

She tilted her head at me when I walked back into the room. "So what?" She asked. "You're a married man after all." She grinned.

"I am." I sighed the thought of Rachel being just across the hall making my dead heart want to beat again.

I sat down on the couch, pulling out a phone from the table drawer beside me and Octavia made a face at me. I raised my eyebrows at her and she giggled. "You seriously should see the two of you." She said. "As an outsider looking in, you have no idea. The two of you will never pull off not being crazily stupid in love with each other. It's just so obvious."

"We don't have to pretend to not care for each other." I reminded her of Marco's request to make it a good show, the vile feeling in me rising again as I realized I am back in the same predicament that I was in with my father all that time again.

"It's a good thing." Octavia nodded, pulling her hair up into a bun. "It's like...I can't even describe what it is like watching you both. I swear it's like one could never live without the other."

"I can't."

She nodded her head. "I don't think she could either." She said gently. "I think she had herself convinced that she could, and then being here reminded her that her heart is always yours."

I tried not to let my hopes get to high. "You really believe that?" I asked. "What about the boy?" I reminded her.

She sighed, leaning her head back on the couch. "I told you, he isn't a boy. He is definitely a man, and I feel a little bad for him." She said and I gave her a look to which she replied by sticking out her tongue. "I obviously am team Calvin, but I do have to say, he isn't a bad guy."

"I see you've grown fond of your new little friend." I sneered. "I knew putting him in the room next to you was a bad idea. You'd either make him run for the hills or be the reason he wanted to stay."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Oh, shut up." She laughed. "He's just nice, and he is not interested in anyone but her, but..."

"But what?"

"I'm supposed to go get him in a little while..." She was hiding something and I couldn't stand it.

"What, Octavia?" I snapped. "You know I don't like games."

She rolled her eyes. "Logan likes games." She said quickly, then she widened her eyes like she had realized she had said that out loud. "I...I didn't mean to say anything that would hurt you, it doesn't matter how Logan is, because Rachel is in love with you....and I don't think I should tell you, but I'm supposed to bring him to her because she wants to tell him the truth."

"The truth?" I asked confused, leaning in for the answer.

"She wants to tell him that she is still in love with you." She said with a smile.

I couldn't help but to smile. Smile like I haven't in so long. A full face, heart totally involved, smile that gave me hope and breathed life back into me. "She loves me." I muttered and Octavia opened her mouth, but I threw a pillow at her that she easily caught. "Don't you dare to even say it." I warned her with grin.

"As long as you knew that was what I was going to say, it counts." She shrugged, pleased with herself nonetheless. "I hate to burst your bubble here, but you know you also need to call Lexton." She said, looking at the phone in my hand.

"How am I supposed to call her now? After what you just told me?"

"You don't want the council to tell her first, do you?" She asked and I sighed. I hate having Octavia as a friend. She's always right.

"Fine." I muttered.

She frowned, kicking back on the couch and propping her feet on the table. "You know I wouldn't encourage you to do it unless you needed to." She said. "I never have liked that girl." She said plainly. "She always looks at you like a lost little puppy. It's kind of sad."

I rolled my eyes, typing in the numbers. "That's the blood bond." I pointed out, but then shook my head already knowing that trying to convince Octavia of anything is a pointless effort.

"Whatever." She mumbled, proving my point as she closed her eyes. "I just can't wait to hear this conversation."

I rolled my eyes at her and called Lexton.

"Hello?" Her high voice rang through the line.

I sighed. "Lexton, its Calvin."

"I know." She replied. "No one else has a reason to call me."

"Neither does he." Octavia whispered beside me and I shot a glare at her.

"I have to tell you something." I sighed. "Something has come up, and as I am sure you already know, Rachel is back here."

"Yeah I heard that." She cut me off and I had to regain my thought.

"Well, she and I have been in some trouble with the council, and...Look, long story short, the council has decided it would be a good idea for a new competition between you and Rachel to determine who will be queen."

"No way." She said, her voice higher than usual. "You know how I feel about you, but I can't go through that again, especially not with Rachel. What is the point? Everyone knows how you feel about her."

I quickly shot a glance at Octavia, stopping her from saying it in the nick of time and she laughed as she kicked back on the couch again with a smug smile.

"Lexton, none of us have a choice." I said flatly. "The competition is happening."