Listen I wanna update Not Today, Bendy at some point but I like the chaos.

Might have posted some here somewhere else but eh. 

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Reader, hiding in a miracle station: he could not escape the demon, but he would not let his soul be taken today!

Henry, running past at full speed with the ink demon right behind: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Reader: You have to apologize to Henry

Sammy: Fine.

Sammy: 'Unf*ck you' or whatever.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Reader: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Henry: What baby?

Reader, crying a bit: Me.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: Hey, what are you reading?

Sammy: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.

Henry: Impressive! I must have it for myself!

Tom: So it's just a Notebook?

Sammy: It's just a Notebook.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Tom: Ayo, what the F*CK is this?!?

Boris, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that's what.

—-------------------------------------------------------------

Reader: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Henry: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Allison: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Sammy: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Tom: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Boris: Mental stability, my old friend!

Reader: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

—------------------------------------------------

Reader: Holy shit, Tom, do you know what this means?!

Tom: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

—------------------------------------------------

Henry: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Sammy: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Henry: ...

Sammy: ...

Henry: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

—------------------------------------------------

Sammy: Hah! 69! You know what that means?

Tom: What?

Allison: That you're a child.

Reader: HOW YOU GUESS MY IQ?!?

Henry: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Sammy: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Boris: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Reader: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Allison: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Tom: I have emotional scars.

Susie: We have a problem.

Allison: Let me guess, you caused it?

Sammy: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.

Henry: And it's another Tuesday, your point?

Reader: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up.

Boris: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

—---------------------------------------------(New ones start here)

Allison: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Henry, watching Sammy screaming, Malice trying to set a sleeping Tom on fire, and Y/N choking on air: I don't know either.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Allison: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Tom: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boris: ARE YOU-

Projectionist: Fucking.

Boris: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Projectionist: Fucking.

Boris: IDIOT!

Jack : ...What was that?

Projectionist: Henry banned Boris from swearing, so I'm helping them out.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I feel awful about killing you.

Malice Angel:

Y/N: Even though technically you never even died, so I don't know what you're bitching about.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Y/N: Oh. We're going out?

Henry: Wh...

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: We all have our demons.

Henry, grabbing Sammy: This one's mine.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Projectionist: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Sammy: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Projectionist: But you're always acting stupid?

Sammy: ...

Sammy: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Projectionist: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.

—------------------------------------------------------------------

Projectionist: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!

Projectionist: First who would you kill?

*Tom points at Y/N*

*Allison points at Y/N*

*Malice Angel points at Y/N*

Y/N: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

Projectionist: Oh god, they texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Tom. They're mad at you.

Tom: No, it's Allison. They're just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Allison: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Boris: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Allison: I stand by my choice.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Malice Angel: You are my reward.

*meanwhile*

Y/N: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Henry: True, you can be really difficult at times.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: Where's Boris?

Y/N: Doing stuff.

Henry: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Jack?

Y/N: Trying to stop Boris from doing the stuff.

Henry: And Allison?

Y/N: Trying to stop Jack from stopping Boris from doing the stuff.

Henry: I see. And what are you doing here, Y/N?

Y/N: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Allison from stopping Jack from stopping Boris from doing the stuff.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I regret nothing!!!

Sammy: I regret everything!!!

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack : Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Y/N, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Y/N: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

—---------------------------------------------------

Sammy: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Projectionist: Killed without hesitation.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Sammy, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?!

Projectionist, standing in front of Sammy: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen*

Sammy, crying: Please...stop...

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sammy: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Sammy: *cuts piece of cake*

Malice Angel: ...Can I have some?

Sammy: Cake is for talkers.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Thanks for not telling Allison what happened.

Tom, dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Boris?

Boris: No.

Sammy: I do!

Henry: I know, Sammy.

Sammy: I'm sad.

Henry: I know, Sammy.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Henry: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Sammy: Aren't you forgetting something?

Henry: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Sammy's forehead before running out.*

Sammy: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

—----------------------------------------------------------

Henry: Where is Projectionist?

Tom: I'll do you one better, who is Projectionist??

Y/N: Here's a better question, why is Projectionist?