Trigger warning
Panic attacks
Mention of cutting
Self-depreciation
Swearing
Use of medication

Virgils P.O.V

I was dinner when it started. Roman had said something about a party and I felt the nervousness begin to bundle. Then he began to get into a conversation about being fed up with not being able to go because of me. Logan and Patton both tried to calm him but suddenly he stood from his chair so quickly the chair fell back and his hands were smacked onto the table in fists shaking our glasses.

My eyes widen and I visibly flinch as he sat back down "I'm not the disorder here..."

That hit me... The choked back tears, the sweat and the growing heat in the room. I stood and force a calm voice "I'll be right back. Need... Restroom"

I ignore the worry glances of Patton and Logan and head straight to the bathroom. I step in and in one swift moment, I'm closing the door and pressing my back against the door. I lock the door carefully and slide down to the floor hugging my knees. My breathing is getting worse by now and I was constantly trying to bury my face in my knees.

No ones P.O.V

Virgil had begun to cry and he didn't realize how loud he was getting until it caught the attention of a certain worried Dad. Patton stood and made his way over to the bathroom door followed by Roman and Logan. Roman felt a pang of guilt hit his soul at the sound of the younger traits cries. Patton pressed his ear against the door and heard what he would never forget

"They hate you... They hate you... Useless... Cut not as they care... Just do it..." Virgil mumbled to himself "No... I promised I wouldn't do it... I promised myself..."

He kept trying to calm himself down but what really scared Patton was the sound of silence and then a drawer. The drawer that had a fairly loud squeak. The razor drawer. Patton then tried opening the door quickly.

Logan looked at Patton "what is the matter?"

Patton looked up at Logan with tears in his baby blue eyes "he's getting a Razor!"

Romans eyes widen as well and in a matter of seconds, roman was running to his room and coming back with a hammer.

Virgil was lost in thought and had a razor in hand. He fought with himself until he dropped it to the floor. Virgil looked at himself in the mirror. The black eyeshadow traveled down his pale cheeks and his hair was a mess. His eyes were red and he was shaking. He closed his eyes and looked away. He then heard a loud crash of metal and jumped. He looked around and spotted the bathtub. He carefully climbed in and hid behind the curtain. He pressed his knees to his chest and his face into his knees. He began to cry again it muffled.

Finally on the other side of the door Roman had busted the doorknob off and it fell with a clang to the floor. He kicked open the door and spotted nothing immediately until he saw the razor on the floor. The clear plastic seal was still on showing Virgil hadn't used it. Patton let out a sigh of relief and looked around and listened carefully to the crying and followed it to the bathtub. He carefully moved the curtain away to show the smaller trait curled up on his side in a ball.

That broke the three older men's hearts. Roman went to touch Virgils shoulder but his hand was stopped by Patton's hand "Don't. You could send him into it deeper. Talk first."

With that, he let go of Romans hand and he placed it back in his lap. He looked at Virgil as did the others. Roman carefully spoke "Virgil? Hey. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get so mad..."

Virgil carefully looks up at him. The sight hurt Roman. Virgils reddened face. He had rubbed most of his eye shadow off with his sleeves and his nose was runny. Tears streamed his face and his eyes looked tired.

Patton spoke up as well "kiddo... Can I touch you? I want to get you out of the tub"

Virgil nods to him gently and in a few seconds, Patton was carefully scooping Virgil up from the tub and resting him against his chest. Virgil buried his face in Patton's chest and cried silently. Logan looked between the 3 and stood "I am going to go check on Thomas" and with that, he left the 3 alone

Virgil was still shaking and crying softly. Roman carefully placed a hand on his shoulder and Patton smiles to him which Virgil couldn't see. Virgils crying became a little less sporadic and just small hiccups and whimpers. Roman leaned down a bit to catch Virgils eyes. He noticed Virgil was clutching his right arm and moved his hand to carefully touch it. At first, Virgil flinched but then eased to exhausted to fight. Roman gives Patton a look of fear and Patton understood what he wanted. He wanted to see Virgils arm. He hoped he was wrong with what he would find.

Patron shifted Virgil so his back was against Patton's chest. Virgil covered his mouth and face with one hand as to hide his face. Roman looks at Virgil and carefully began to roll his sleeves up to show white gauze wrapped around his arm all. the way up to his elbow. Patton sighed gently and buried his face in the back of Virgils hair. Roman ran a thumb over them gently but Virgil didn't wince showing they were old. Roman hugs Virgil suddenly and Virgil let a small gasp escape his lips but he lets Roman hug him. In fact, he even hugged back weakly. Patton smiles and kisses Virgils head gently. Roman carefully moves his legs so he could easily transfer Virgil from Patton's lap to his own. Patton helped and then stood "I'll be right back with your medicine kiddo..."

Virgil was on medicine for his anxiety. Logan had found a way to replicate it in the mind for Virgils personal anxiety. Patton left to get it and that left Roman and Virgil cuddled on the floor. Roman shifts yet again to have Virgil in his arms in a princess style "let's get you to your room Virge"

Virgil nods gently and Roman sunk out the emo in his arms. They appeared in a bedroom very much decorated to match the emo nightmares liking. The bed, however, wasn't what Roman was expecting. It was a bit bad with purple sheets and a black comforter. It had stuffed animals of all sorts near the top and various pillows of all sizes. Roman smiles to Virgil who now rest in his chest. Roman walked over and moved the blankets out of the way. He carefully places Virgil on the bed but Virgils grip on Romans sleeve was tight not allowing him to leave "Please... Please stay with me..."

Virgils voice was cracky and sad. Roman nods gently and sat on the edge of the bed. Soon Patton came in with a cup of water and a hand holding a capsule like a pill. Virgil carefully took the pill and drank the water. He set the half-full cup on the bedside table and looked at Patton "can you guys... Lay with me?"

Virgil was more clingy when he was tired and scared. Patton nods and calls for Logan. They had done this before just had big cuddle nights. Logan walked in with Thomas. Thomas wasn't affected by Virgils Panic attack, thank god.

Logan and Thomas came over and crawled in the bed closest to the wall. Virgil scooted closer to them and Logan let him bury his face into his chest. Roman came up behind Virgil and carefully laced his arms around his torso and rests his chin on the shoulder. Patton smiles and flicks the light off and crawls in last. They all slept there for the night. While sleeping the anxiety effect didn't take place so it was a peaceful night.