Always

Por Celine_CooperJones

"Love starts as a feeling, but to continue is a choice. And I find myself choosing you, more and more every day." - Justin Wetch

FP was instantly intrigued by the curly haired blonde girl the second he saw her. After all, it wasn't very often he saw girls playing in the dirt. But there she is; covered in mud as she catches frogs by the bank of Sweetwater River. "What are you doing?" He questions her.

The girl, who seemed roughly around his age, looked up at him with bright blue eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, and a faint sprinkling of freckles that trailed across the bridge of her nose and cheeks. "Catching frogs." She stated as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Have you caught any?"

"A few, I made a home for them over here," She gestures for him to follow her over to the bank of the river where she made a little pen out of sticks and rocks to keep them contained. "See?"

"Can I help you?" He asks her, earning a smile from the little girl. She's missing her front tooth and it makes her already crooked smile all the more silly.

"Yeah, then we can catch even more!"

And so they spend the next couple of hours catching frogs together, searching in bushes and behind rocks for the amphibians.

"I found one, I found one! It's a big one too!" The girl happily announces. He rushes over to her, seeing the large frog sitting in her palms.

"Woah!" FP exclaims, eyes as big as saucers. "That's the biggest one I've ever seen! Good job!"

"Thanks!" She sets the frog down beside all the others and sits down to watch them hop around, he sits right beside her.

"I think we should let them go, it's getting dark out." He suggests.

"You're right." She disassembles the frog pen she had made and watches as the frogs hop away.

"I'll walk you home!" He offers, and she flashes that toothless grin of hers at him.

"Okay!" She agrees, picking her bike up off the ground.

"Do you want me to push your bike for you?"

"If you want to." He nods and takes the bike from her, pushing it up the little hill. "I'm Alice by the way."

"Forsythe Pendleton Jones junior."

"Forsythe Pendleton?" She pulls a face and shakes her head. "That's too long, I'm gonna call you..." she thinks on it for a moment before smiling triumphantly. "Jonesy!"

"Okay." He smiles at the nickname, deciding not to tell her that people call him FP, he likes her nickname much more. "Can I call you Al?"

"If you want to, yeah."

He follows her as she leads the way to her home, shocked when he sees she lives right next door to him. "Hey, you're my neighbour!"

"I am?"

"Yeah, I live in that one right there!" He excitedly points to the trailer next to hers. "My daddy said someone new was moving in, but he didn't tell me there was any kids."

"My mom didn't really tell me much about moving here, after my daddy left she just packed up our stuff, threw it in the car and came here."

"Your daddy left?"

"Yeah, he said mom drank and smoked too much and he'd had enough. I asked him to take me too but he didn't." She sighs. "Maybe it's a good thing, they fought a lot. One time mom threw a bottle at daddy's head, he had to get stitches."

Even at the young age of six he knew how wrong it was for her to have even seen that. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, now that I know you live here too I'm happy about moving."

_____

Ever since the day he met her they've been inseparable, they were in the same class every year and have all the same friends. They do everything together.

They help each other escape the mess that is their home lives, whether it be escaping down to the river for a few hours or strolling down to the park to play with all the other Southside kids.

He comes outside one day and sees her sitting on the steps of her trailer, drawing shapes in the dirt with a twig. "Hey, I was just coming over to see if you wanted to go swimming in the river."

She smiles up at him. "Sure."

"What are you doing sitting outside? Does your mom have another guy over?"

"No, she locked me out again. Must have left after I went to school."

After she turned 12 Alice's' mom had deemed it acceptable to leave her daughter home alone for days at a time, usually forgetting to leave the door unlocked or even leave her a spare key. Now at 14 years old her mom is practically nonexistent in her life or entertaining yet another guy in the bedroom. So Alice flees to FP, seeking comfort in her only true friend.

"Damn, I'm sorry." It's a common occurrence with her mom but it still guts him every time.

"It's alright. Let's go down to the river."

"You can stay at my place, you know dad doesn't care."

"I know, it's just embarrassing having to sleep at your place every night because mom is too neglectful to leave me a key."

"I don't mind, Al. I like when you come over."

And so, as what has sadly become a regular thing, she spends the night at FP's trailer, curled up in bed beside him.

Sometimes he hears her cry herself to sleep and that's when she feels him wrap his arms around her. He knows she hates looking weak in front of people so he doesn't say a word as he holds her, just lets her know he's there for her through his actions.

But tonight's different, tonight's a night where she's the one wrapping her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. He can feel his heart pick up speed at the motion. He's not going to lie, he's noticed how pretty she is, how much he loves spending time with her and how the sound of her laugh may be his favourite sound on Earth. He's just never voiced the thoughts out loud.

He's almost 16 and he's noticing girls a lot more than he did before but none of them have ever caught his eye as much as Alice has. No one has ever made his heart flutter in the way that she does.

"Thanks for always letting me stay here." She whispers.

"Yeah, of course, Al. You're my best friend."

"I love you, Jonesy. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Probably die."

She giggles. "Probably." She sits up, sitting cross-legged beside him. The t-shirt he gave her to wear is way too big on her small frame and her blonde hair seems even curlier than usual. Probably a mix of the water and the humidity.

He's so lost in his thoughts he doesn't even realize she's leaned in until her lips are on his and she's kissing him.

It takes him a second to register that he's kissing Alice but when he does he kisses her back. Their teeth scrape against one another and it's sloppy and a mess but it has both of their hearts racing.

She lays back down beside him, planting her head on his chest again, and he just can't believe that even happened.

He kissed Alice Smith.

_____

They don't really acknowledge the kiss over the next few months, that is, until the night of her 16th birthday.

He had celebrated with her the whole day, swiping a muffin from Freddie Andrews' house and heading down to Sweetwater river with a candle and lighter in his pocket. He had told her to close her eyes and then stuck the candle into the muffin, lighting it before telling her to open her eyes and make a wish.

The smile that erupted on her face at the gesture will forever be one of his favourite memories of her. And if she had given him a kiss afterwards, well then that's just a plus.

He's laying in his bed, fast asleep when he hears something hitting his window repeatedly. He opens his eyes and looks out to see Alice standing outside with a handful of rocks.

He pushes open the window and she comes forward, taking his hand to help her in. "What time is it?" He groggily asks her.

"Almost midnight." She answers as if it's no big deal, heading over to his dresser and pulling out a t-shirt. She shimmies out of her clothes and pulls the shirt over her head, he gets back in bed, pulling back the sheets for her. Either she's locked out or her mom's home and she needs a place to sleep. "Mom brought home some guy."

"Really? She's been gone for a week and she chooses your birthday of all nights to come home with some guy?"

"No one ever said she was parent of the year." She slips into bed beside him and slumps her body down into his pillows. "Some birthday."

"I thought you had a good day?" He props his head up on his elbow to look down at her beside him.

"I did, you made it so great like you always do, I just wish mom hadn't come home. Or that she would've come home earlier without some guy." She scoffs. "You know she didn't even acknowledge me, I don't think she even realizes it was my birthday today. Which, I mean, it's not a big deal, I'm not some stuck up bitch who wants everyone to wish her a happy birthday but fuck... she's my mom."

"I get it, Al." He tucks a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and smiles softly at her.

She opens her mouth to say something but shakes her head and instead rolls onto her side and buries her head in his chest. His fingers comb through her curls and he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Thank you." She mumbles.

"For what?"

"For being the only stable thing in my life, the only consistently good thing in my life. You mean a lot to me Jonesy, I hope you know that."

"Course I do, Al. I hope you know you mean a lot to me too... I love you."

She looks up at him and there's just something in his eyes that lets her know he's not lying, that he's being so sincere.

She sits up on her knees and takes his face in her hands, pressing her lips against his. He responds immediately, sitting up to get a better grasp on her. Her kiss is bruising but he loves it, loves her.

She pulls away only to settle herself in his lap and his breath hitches. He holds onto her hips tightly and groans into her mouth when she moves her hips against him slightly. He's suddenly all too aware of the excitement in his boxers and even though he knows she can feel it too, it only seems to spur her on further.

She takes his hand in hers and guides it up her shirt, smiling against his mouth when she feels him unclasp her bra. His hands slip under the loose garment and she moans at the feel of his calloused hands palming her breasts.

She pulls away from his lips only to lift her shirt off and throw her bra to the floor. The look on his face as he sees her naked from the waist up there on his lap is priceless and she kisses him again before the embarrassment can take over.

When his wandering lips reach her chest she really clings onto him, letting her head fall back as she scratches the skin of his back with her fingernails.

He flips her over so he's hovering above her and lets his hand trail down her body. Her breath hitches when he touches her for the first time. "I want you." She breathes against his lips.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He pecks a kiss to her lips before practically sprinting out of his room and down the hall.

He returns a minute later with a foil packet in hand. He locks his bedroom door behind him and turns to Alice who's smiling at him from his bed, holding his bed sheet tightly to her chest.

He sits down beside her and cups her cheek. "Are you sure?"

"More sure than I've been about anything before." She lets go of the sheet covering her body and kisses him, melting into his mouth as she pulls him on top of her again.

_____

They had plans to find a place of their own, far away from his dad and her mom, get married and have some babies of their own. They swore they wouldn't turn out like their parents.

Fate, however, had other plans.

Their romantic relationship comes to a haltering stop after nearly three years of dating. He's the one who ended it. He wants her to make something of herself and how could she do that if she was stuck on the Southside with him?

He doesn't really know what's happened in her life over the last few years since their breakup. All he knows is that she married some journalist guy, moved to the Northside with him and that they own the town paper.

He always regrets his decision to end things, but he figured he made the right one when he found out how successful she had become. He always knew she was destined for greatness, he didn't want to be the one to hold her back.

He met someone too. It wasn't the whirlwind romance that he had had with Alice but it was nice and he did love her.

He was planning to propose to her when she announced she was moving to Toledo with some guy she met.

He chucked the ring in the river and cried when he saw he and Alice's initials carved into the bark of a tree. They had done it when they were eight years old. He remembers feeling like a badass for doing such a thing and remembers her giggling as she kept watch.

He takes home girls nearly every night to try and forget about her, but it's no use she haunts his every thought.

He knows how easy it would be to call her up and hear her sweet voice once again, but every time he picks up the phone he talks himself out of it. "She's happier without you." He tells himself, though in his heart he knows that's a lie.

_____

Some nights he can barely escape the torturous regret of letting her go and he just needs a place to forget about everything for a bit. So he seeks out refuge at Sweetwater River.

However, tonight, he's not alone.

He'd recognize those curls anywhere. "Al?"

Her head whipped around. "Jonesy?"

Her voice is barely above a whisper and he smiles crookedly at her. "Hey, Al," He walks over and sits beside her on the riverbank. "Been a long time."

She sighs. "That it has."

"What are you doing here all alone?"

"My asshole of a husband cheated on me so I filed for divorce. Just trying to clear my head I guess."

"I'm sorry, Alice. Really."

She shrugs her shoulders. "It is what it is. Maybe it's for the best, I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I only stayed with him because he helped me get over you. It didn't work very well."

"It didn't?" She shakes her head, still not looking up at him so he reaches for her hand. "I never got over you either."

"You didn't?" She barely manages to get the words out.

"No. I tried, but God... you've always been it for me, Al. I don't know why I spent so much time fighting it. I just wanted what's best for you so I pushed you away."

She frowns. "You were what's best for me."

"I didn't want to trap you on the Southside and I sure as hell didn't want us to turn out like our parents." He sighs. "I always knew you were destined for greatness, Alice, I didn't want to stand in your way."

"We're never going to end up like our parents, Jonesy, we're nothing like them. And as for holding me back, sometimes I think you're the only thing keeping me afloat, even when I hadn't seen you in years. You believed in me when no one else did." A frog hops by in front of their feet and Alice laughs. "Wow, do you remember when we used to come here as kids and catch frogs for hours?"+

He smiles at the memory. "God, yeah, seems like a lifetime ago. First time I met you was down here by the river."

"We have some pretty good memories."

"That we do. Speaking of which, come with me." He stands up and takes her hand to help her up. He leads her over to a tree by the riverbank and points out the initials carved into the bark.

"Oh wow, I forgot we did that." She runs her fingertips over the bark and smiles contently as he just watches her. He's missed her. "God, I loved you so much."

"I never stopped." She turns her head and her mouth falls open slightly. "You don't have to say it back, I get it if you don't feel the same I just-" He doesn't get to finish his sentence as she leans up on tip toes and kisses him for the first time in far too long.

"I love you, too."