INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR -- DAY

Wattpad/DevA/Fanfic/Yahoo/Pinterest/Tumblr/Tik Tok/Edge/Cleverbot/Quotev all sit in the dilapidated husk of Computer Corp's seventh floor. Pinterest/Yahoo are working to catalog all the evidence that survived the fire while the rest of the websites sit opposite Quotev, who's huddled under a mylar blanket.

QUOTEV
I don't know how we're going to get things back to the way they were now. We were so close to cracking this whole thing open and now everything's ruined.

EDGE
Not everything. The fire was mostly contained to the east wing, so the overall structure wasn't weakened too much.

DEVA
Speaking of, did the firefighters actually tell you it was safe to be up here or---

Edge gives DevA a look.

DEVA
(downcast)
Right. Sorry.

Pinterest pushes the last red pin into place.

YAHOO
Well, luckily most of the evidence wasn't taken out by the blast.

PINTEREST
Oh! And we have a ton of new stuff to tell you from our trip! Wait, let me get my scrapbook...

YAHOO
The car's been towed, Pin. I don't think you're getting that scrapbook back.

PINTEREST
Then I'll just have to make a new scrapbook! Say cheese!

Pinterest takes a photo of the scene, but no one smiles.

QUOTEV
I don't know why I wasn't getting your calls back there. I mean, I swear I was only gone for like five minutes...

TIK TOK
Could it be another one of those time anomaly things?

QUOTEV
I don't know. It felt more... personal.

WATTPAD
I think our next course of action should be trying to get everyone under one roof. When everyone's able to compare stories without the pressure of being the only one, we might be able to sense a pattern more clearly.

Wattpad looks to Fanfic.

WATTPAD (CONT'D)
I mean, if you think that's a good idea, Fanfic.

FANFIC
No, I agree. Getting everyone together would be very beneficial to the mission. We should also get all our new friends together, too, in case they noticed something in the midst of our searching.

WATTPAD
Yeah, that too.

Yahoo wheels out a massive whiteboard with a list of names on it.

YAHOO
Alright. Who's calling whom?

TIME LAPSE: The websites call, text, email, and facetime various websites until eventually, AO3 steps through the door. Tumblr presses a button that plays the Seinfeld sound and canned applause.

YAHOO
Tumblr! This is a murder/arson investigation!

TUMBLR
What can I say? I put the laughter in manslaughter.

AO3
I don't mind, it certainly helps lighten the mood and I've written enough angst for the day.

FANFIC
Hey, babe. Did your beta ever get back to you on that Gentleman Jack AU?

AO3
Yep! We're set to update tonight.

FANFIC
Yay! I can't wait!

Fanfic/AO3 kiss. Tumblr/Yahoo/Pinterest/Edge/Quotev are confused.

AO3
So, are these the rest of your old cows?

Fanfic blushes.

FANFIC
Oh, right. Guys, this is my partner, AO3. AO3, this is Quotev, Cleverbot, Edge, Pinterest, Yahoo, Tumblr, DevA, and Wattpad.

AO3 strides over to Wattpad.

AO3
So you're the famous Wattpad... Fanfic's told me a lot about you.

Wattpad gets a panicked look on her face. After a beat, AO3 hugs her.

AO3
You are so cool! I mean, you started out just writing about boybands and rant books and now you're on TV and pay some of your writers! You're an inspiration to us all!

Wattpad makes eye contact with Fanfic, who gives her a look as if to say she hasn't told AO3 about their conversation the night before.

WATTPAD
Thanks, Fanfic's told me a lot about you too. You're a nonprofit?

AO3
Yeah, I guess you could say that. It's not much, but I like the feeling of putting the fans in control.

WATTPAD
That's very charitable of you.

AO3
Aaaah thank you so much!

The reunion is interrupted by Wikipedia entering the room. Tumblr plays the sound effect, then suddenly stops it when she realizes who it is.

TUMBLR
NO!

FANFIC
GET OUT!

DEVA
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU!

WIKIPEDIA
I shouldn't have come back.

WATTPAD
Hey, girls, Wiki, stop. I know you all mean well, but people change, and I for one want to give Wikipedia the chance to earn our trust again fair and square.

TUMBLR
THE ONLY THING HE CAN EARN IS MY--

EDGE
Tumblr, she's going the Steven Universe route with redemptions.

TUMBLR
Fine. But say one problematic thing and you're out of here.

WIKIPEDIA
I think I should just try to keep my mouth shut then.

Ecosia/DuckDuckGo enter.

PINTEREST
Who are you?

ECOSIA
I am Ecosia, I speak for the trees.

DUCKDUCKGO
And I'm DuckDuckGo. I speak for the people who actually want to clear their search history.

QUOTEV
They were at the circulation desk when we were searching the iCloud library.

FANFIC
Yeah, but why are they here?

WATTPAD
DuckDuckGo was the first one to warn us about all the privacy stuff. Plus, they seem cool.

DUCKDUCKGO
Thank you. Now, could someone point me to the terms of service agreement for this place? I want to know what I'm getting into.

WordHippo/Thesaurus enter.

QUOTEV
Now who are these people?

WIKIPEDIA
They're at the circulation desk of my library.

DUCKDUCKGO
So basically an unauthorized copy of us?

THESAURUS
Hey! How dare you accuse us of plagiarism!

WORDHIPPO
Yeah! Bold of you to suspect us to be replicators!

THESAURUS
That was a bit of a stretch, WordHippo.

WORDHIPPO
I know.

Snapchat enters.

DEVA
Speaking of plagiarism...

SNAPCHAT
Is Instagram here? I swear to god the minute she shows up I am leaving for good!

YAHOO
She's not here yet.

SNAPCHAT
Alright, then you've got me for twenty-four hours. And I guess I'm doing streaks with all of you now, so...

Snapchat takes pictures of random parts of the room and sends them to each of the other websites.

WATTPAD
What're streaks?

SNAPCHAT
Oh, it's this thing I invented where you can tell how good friends you are with someone by how long you can send them a random photo every day.

WIKIPEDIA
That sounds more like obligation than friendship to me.

SNAPCHAT
Fine. I guess you're not getting a streak.

Snapchat continues taking random photos as Facebook enters, holding hands with Aryn. Snapchat takes a photo of them together.

FACEBOOK
Delete that.

SNAPCHAT
Really? But your hair looks amazing! Hey, I could send that for your streak---

Aryn grabs the phone out of Snapchat's hand and crushes it before giving it back. Snapchat shrugs then takes out a Polaroid camera and takes a photo of the crushed phone.

ARYN
No photography, video recordings, or voice assistants while Facebook is in the premises. Are we clear?

OTHER WEBSITES
Yes.

Buzzfeed enters, swarmed by Siri, Cortana, and Alexa.

BUZZFEED
Hey Siri? Find a place to park my car that isn't in danger of being crushed by a falling tab. Cortana, start a livestream. Alexa, take minutes of this meeting in case I need to refer back to something later.

SIRI/CORTANA/ALEXA
Yes ma'am.

BUZZFEED
Oh, hey Facebook! Haven't seen you in a while. I have a few best-of-Tumblr posts if you want to share them. You can just say "Alexa, show me--"

WEBSITES WHO SAW ALEXA'S MONOLOGUE/ARYN/FACEBOOK
NO!

BUZZFEED
Fine! I'll see if Pinterest wants to publicize these.

Rebecca enters and spots Aryn.

REBECCA
Oh thank god I'm not the only non-website here.

ARYN
Who are you?

REBECCA
I'm Pinterest's niece. My mom's been making me hang around CC since I was like eight years old.

ARYN
Who's Pinterest?

TIK TOK
Hey! Rebecca! Remember me?

REBECCA
Unfortunately. Is your dumbass brother here too?

TIK TOK
He's not my brother, and he's still at the house. Since the unfortunateness with our robotic guardian we haven't had anyone with a drivers license to take us places.

REBECCA
What a shame.

Fortnite jumps out of a nearby trash can.

FORTNITE
Reverse card!

FANFIC
How did he get in there?

GrubHub enters. Pinterest hides behind the trash can.

PINTEREST
(frantic whisper)
Pepsi wasn't okay!

REBECCA
Why are you like this?

A ten year old girl with spiky teal hair and thick glasses, WIKIA, enters.

WIKIPEDIA
Kia? What are you doing here?

WIKIA
Dad told me you were going to some meeting with all your internet friends and I figured I'd tag along to practice my archiving skills. Plus, today was supposed to be my library day.

WIKIPEDIA
Aww, that's sweet. You can go over with the kids table right there.

REBECCA
Kids table?

Wikia takes a seat next to the trash can.

WIKIA
What's it like being twelve?

REBECCA
Terrible.

TIK TOK
Wanna become famous in China?

TIME LAPSE: The rest of the websites/browsers arrive; including Bing, who immediately aligns himself with Alexa, making Cortana jealous; Instagram, who starts a fight with Snapchat; Twitter, who monetizes the fight; Vimeo, having just gotten back from a film festival; Firefox and Chrome, having just gotten back from their honeymoon, Safari, having just gotten back from Africa; Spotify/Pandora, playing the song Africa by Toto; Soundcloud, who plays a cover of the song before immediately attaching himself to Twitter's business plan; Pottermore, who has no idea why he's here; YouTube, who someone accuses of setting the fire; and lastly Google, who everyone reveres as some sort of saint except DuckDuckGo and the main squad, who now know too much. Scenes play sped up, almost as though they're being fast-forwarded, because these introductions would be way too long if kept in real time.

Wattpad/Fanfic/AO3/Alexa/Quotev/Edge/DevA/DuckDuckGo/Ecosia/Bing/Google/Yahoo/Pinterest/Twitter/YouTube/Instagram/Facebook/Aryn/Tumblr/Buzzfeed/Siri/Cortana/Tik Tok/Fortnite/Cleverbot/WordHippo/Thesaurus/Wikipedia/Wikia/GrubHub/Snapchat/Vimeo/Firefox/Chrome/Safari/Spotify/Pandora/Soundcloud/Pottermore stand around in various corners of the office, waiting to be told why they have been gathered in the dilapidated old office building. Yep, all 40 of them.

Google surveys the evidence board.

GOOGLE
I'm sorry but I'm just not seeing any connections here, and you know what they say: If it's not google-able, it doesn't exist.

WATTPAD
Then keep trying.

VIMEO
Google's right. I'm going to need to head out soon if I have any hope of finishing my editing on time.

BUZZFEED
It was nice catching up and all, but it's just time to face the fact that we're never going to find out why things ended the way they did. Let's go, Cortana.

Buzzfeed/Cortana head toward the staircase. Quotev stands, blocking the door.

QUOTEV
No! No one's leaving until I get answers!

CORTANA
Quotev, this isn't going to get you any closer to--OW!

Cortana clutches her head, as does Quotev/Fanfic/Wattpad/Edge/Tumblr/DevA/Facebook/ Vimeo/YouTube.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR -- DAY, TWO AND A HALF YEARS EARLIER

Scene rapidly transitions to the same location, but in perfect condition as it was two and a half years earlier. In fact, everything seems as it was in 2017, eve n t h e f o r m a t t i n g . . .

10:00 a.m.

Quotev sits on a desk in the middle of Edge's office. There are crumpled up papers everywhere, some with just a few sentences written, and some with entire paragraphs now illegible from spilled ink. Fanfic and Wattpad watch from their desks as Quotev gets an idea, scribbles it down, thinks about it, and lights the page on fire.

Fanfic: Do we need to get the fire extinguisher again?

Wattpad: No, I think she's got this under control.

Edge walks over.

Edge: Hello coworkers!

Fanfic: Um, hi?

Wattpad: What are you doing out here?

Edge: Quotev asked if she could use my office for her writing, so of course I said yes.

Wattpad: I know that...

Edge: Then what's the problem?

Fanfic: She asked you three weeks ago.

Edge: [awkwardly] Oh, well, I guess she's been really busy, and I don't want to disturb her work, and she seems like she knows what she's doing...

Wattpad: You lost your key again, didn't you?

Edge: [sigh] Do you think the other browsers will notice?

Fanfic: They're in San Francisco this week. You're good.

Edge: Thank you.

[theme song]

11:00 a.m.

The fire department has been called, and have tried to get Quotev out of Edge's office, but despite unlocking the door and putting out way too many fires for a normal work day, Quotev still refuses to move.

Wattpad: So, I talked to the firemen, and they said she technically doesn't have squatter's rights since this is company property, but you can't kick her out because it's not your property either.

Fanfic: She has to get up at some point, like, doesn't she have to eat?

Edge: I don't know, she's been hiding food in my cabinets for the past 5 months, I thought she was just preparing for winter?

Wattpad: She's a human being, not a squirrel. And it's Spring.

Edge: Time is never my friend.

Cortana walks past the group.

Cortana: Hey, they've unlocked the office right?

Wattpad: Yes, but if you're going in there please try to help Quotev? She really needs to go home.

Cortana: Okay. I'll just be getting a few files.

Cortana walks into her office and talks to Quotev.

Edge: Honestly, at this point I just want to know what she's doing.

Cortana nods, then locks the door again and sits down at her desk. Wattpad, Fanfic, and Edge run over.

Fanfic: What the hell?

Cortana: Quotev said she wanted me to close the door again, so I helped her!

Wattpad: This is not helping!

Cortana: Whatever, at least this is giving me something to watch around here instead of the typical love triangles and cliche fangirl-ness. Quotev, could you pass me a bag of chips? [a bag of chips lands on Cortana's desk] Thanks, dear. Bye nerds! [Cortana closes the blinds so that no one can see her anymore]

Fanfic: How can someone be this petty? Edge needs her office, what does it have that the rest of us don't?

Edge: It's okay, I can just work out here for now. She can take her time. I'm sure this will all be done soon.

*

1:00 p.m.

Edge rolls her chair over to Fanfic and Wattpad's desks.

Edge: I thought that maybe since I don't have my own work space, I can work over here for now?

Fanfic: Sure, you can share my desk!

Tumblr: What?

DevA: Why does that little gremlin have to sit with us today?

Edge: Oh, it's because of the whole situation with Quotev stealing my office, and Cortana locking them in. Didn't you hear about that?

DevA: It was a rhetorical question.

Tumblr: If I have to see her overly-sunny face all day, I think I might literally die. Can't she just go to someone else's desk?

Facebook: [quietly] She can take my desk.

Tumblr: [sympathetic] No, Facey...

Facebook: I can move over with YouTube and Vimeo, and then you can put the wall back up, and you won't have to bother each other for the rest of the day.

Tumblr: But Facebook, you've already done so much for us, I should be the one making sacrifices, you finally need peace in your life.

Facebook: While I appreciate the sentiment, you've got to stop putting me on this pedestal. Yeah, my life's been weird, but can't we just move on?

Tumblr: I'm trying to give you the recognition you never got in all your years of turmoil! Please, just let me care for you!

Tumblr and Facebook start arguing.

Fanfic: [sigh] The more things change...

Edge: You know what? I think I can find somewhere else to work for the moment.

Wattpad: Agreed.

Fanfic, Wattpad, and Edge walk away, as Tumblr yells at Facebook "YOU'RE TOO PERFECT FOR THIS WORLD".

*

Fanfic, Wattpad, and Edge sit down at Vimeo and YouTube's group of tabs. Vimeo's helping YouTube text someone.

Vimeo: Okay, so, if you use "lol" here you sound bland and unoriginal, but "lmao" also is overused... An emoji could work, but I'm not sure which one, and we didn't actually laugh out loud, so...

YouTube: I just accidentally sent a dog emoji.

Vimeo: What? No! So, we need to come up with an explanation, because just saying "sorry, typo" makes it sound like you don't want to talk to him...

Wattpad and Fanfic look at them, confused, while Edge seems genuinely interested in the conversation.

Edge: What happens if he just sends a cat back?

Vimeo: No one would send a cat back, and if so—

YouTube: He just sent a cat back.

Vimeo: Smiling cat or normal cat? You know what, I don't even know. You two are beyond my help.

Edge: Who are you texting?

YouTube: Vine.

Vimeo: Is that even a question anymore?

Wattpad: I don't see why it wouldn't be, he doesn't even work here.

YouTube: [still texting] I may not get to see him that often, but he's still my boyfriend, and I—oops.

Vimeo glares at YouTube, sort of like she had warned him not to tell everyone, and with good reason. While Edge has the standard reply of just "Aw, good for you!", Wattpad and Fanfic look overly excited. Like, "I'm going to write a 100k au fic for you whether you like it or not" excited.

Wattpad: So, uh, which do you like better: high school au or fake-married au?

Fanfic: Mermaid au is also cute!

Vimeo: [to YouTube] You see? This is why I didn't want you to tell them. They're all going to get super clingy and then you're going to break up just to make them stop.

YouTube: I don't think they'll be that—Oh.

Wattpad is going through some past fics, looking for anything that could be used as possible foreshadowing.

YouTube: Alright, I know I can't stop this, but if you're going to "fangirl" over my new relationship with Vine, there needs to be some ground rules. #1: Do not follow me around every time I leave the office to see whether I'll talk to him.

Fanfic: We wouldn't do that.

YouTube: Really? Because Tumblr did on June 3rd, 2008. Rule #2: I can tell you to take down anything that is too... um... unseemly for my liking.

Wattpad: Nobody even writes stuff like that anymore.

YouTube: January 21st, 2015: Tumblr did this exact thing for someone else, and refused to take it down. We had to get the browsers involved. It was scary. Rule #3: Don't invade my personal life for the purpose of your fics. This means no stealing my phone, no reading my mail, and—this is important—no breaking into my house!

Fanfic: I don't think Tumblr's done anything like that...

Vimeo: [whispering to YouTube] They don't know about the emails?

YouTube: I guess so? Maybe that's for the best. [to Fanfic and Wattpad] The point is, don't be creepy.

Fanfic: We won't, don't worry.

Wattpad: Yeah, and everything you just mentioned was caused by Tumblr, and if she doesn't know about you...

YouTube: She doesn't? Okay... [a pause] Rule #1: Don't tell Tumblr.

Wattpad: Your secret's safe with us.

YouTube goes back to texting Vine, and Vimeo starts working again. After a few minutes, she looks back up at Wattpad, Fanfic, and Edge.

Vimeo: If you weren't here to ruin our lives, then why are you at our tabs?

YouTube: Yeah, and why is little miss skittles hanging off you like a parasite?

Edge: [whispering] I think he's talking about me. [To YouTube] Funny story, actually. So, it all started with me deciding to let Quotev write in my office a few weeks ago, and long story short Tumblr apparently doesn't hate Facebook anymore? Can someone tell me what that's about?

Fanfic: We do not have time to visit that plot line again.

Wattpad: Quotev won't get out of Edge's office and Cortana locked herself in with her. We were wondering if you guys could help us figure out what's going on?

Vimeo: Quotev? Nope, can't help you there.

Edge: Why not?

Vimeo: You guys seriously don't remember? Quotev trapped us in some parallel universe until YouTube could come to his senses and realize he could just call Vine.

Edge: But the real treasure was the friends you made along the way.

Vimeo: ???

Wattpad: Whatever. YouTube, will you help us?

YouTube: Sorry, I have at least 3 webseries coming back from year long hiatuses, multiple YouTubers who are secretly possessed by demons, and for some reason I just can't look away from that one giraffe video. But if it would help, here's a crowbar.

Fanfic: [takes the crowbar] Thanks! Also, the giraffe already had her baby.

YouTube: Are you serious?! I look away for one day, and suddenly it's all over. Whatever, there's a naming contest soon, right? Time to send in Giraffe McGiraffeface 700 times. See you later guys.

YouTube leaves. Wattpad and Fanfic leave together to try to get Quotev out. Edge is left with Vimeo for a few seconds, before it gets too awkward for Edge and she leaves.

*

3:00 p.m.

Wattpad, Fanfic, and Edge stand outside of Edge's office with a crowbar.

Fanfic: This is your last warning, Quotev. Let us in or we'll break in ourselves!

Quotev: No!

Edge: Please, just tell us what's wrong? Maybe we could make a deal or something?

Quotev: What kind of deal?

Wattpad: I don't know, what do you want?

Quotev: I want you to leave me alone to write.

Edge: But you're not actually writing?

Quotev: How do you know that?

Edge: I guess I don't...

Fanfic: Okay, stand back, I'm breaking a window.

Quotev: Stop! I've decided on a bargain. I'll let Fanfic and Wattpad talk to me.

Edge: But what about me?

Wattpad: Quiet, Edge. We're trying to get your office back.

Edge: Shouldn't I have to help you, then?

Quotev: You can talk to Cortana.

Cortana walks out of Edge's office, covered in cheeto dust.

Cortana: What? The food was there, it's not like I'd let it go to waste.

Wattpad and Fanfic walk into the office, and close the door behind them.

Wattpad: Okay, Quotev, whatever trick you're trying to pull here needs to be done soon because I do not want to look like an idiot who—

There's a muffled crying sound coming from behind Edge's desk.

Wattpad: Quotev?

Quotev: Go away. I don't need you guys looking down on me too.

Fanfic: Why would we do that?

Quotev: You're authors. Wattpad's had book deals since she was 19, and Fanfic, you can write anything you put your mind to. And then there's me.

Wattpad: You're an author too.

Quotev: No I'm not. I... I can't write.

Fanfic:

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR  (MODERN) -- DAY

All of the websites who were clutching their heads open their eyes, anxious.

FANFIC
What did I say? I opened my mouth to say something, and there wasn't another line? It just ended?

YOUTUBE
What did I mean by "the emails"?

WATTPAD
Why can't I remember that happening?

YAHOO
What are you guys talking about?

TUMBLR
You mean you didn't see that?

YAHOO
Yeah I didn't see it. What was there to see? Look, I was just in this for the adventure but you guys are really starting to scare me. I mean, what's next, someone---AAAH!

Yahoo sinks to her knees, head in her hands, as do Google/Pinterest/Tumblr/DevA/Quotev/ Wikipedia/Twitter/Fanfic/Wattpad/Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO) -- DAY

It's happeni n g a g a i n...

...

Google's working in his tab, like always. Pinterest walks over and asks him a question.

Pinterest: Hi Google, I was just wondering, what will—

Google: [not looking up from his work] ...the weather be like today? 66 degrees Fahrenheit (19 Celsius), 0% chance of precipitation, humidity 39%, wind 12 mph.

Pinterest: Okay, thanks! I was thinking of going camping tonight—

Google: I don't want to go camping with you, Pinterest.

Pinterest: It was worth a shot. [walks away]

Google: Statistically, it was not.

Tumblr and DevA walk over to Google's tab, arguing.

DevA: [to Tumblr] Fine! I'll just ask him. [to Google] Settle a debate: Is it fun to be a—

Google: [still not looking up] ...cat? I don't think you'll ever get an answer to that question, but please don't bring in more cats to the office so you can ask them, two is plenty.

DevA: What? I know Fanfic and Wattpad have a cat that they keep in the library, but who's this other creature?

Google: YouTube wanted a mascot.

Tumblr: Ah okay.

Google: It wasn't my first choice, but at least I talked him out of spending $40,000 trying to rent that pizza rat thing.

DevA: [mumbling] It would've been worth it.

Google: What?

DevA: What?

Tumblr: Whatever. If there's 2 cats here already, we can ask them ourselves. Come on, DevA.

DevA: Okay, bye!

Tumblr and DevA walk away. Quotev rolls up to Google's tab in a swivel chair that she has painted stripes onto.

Quotev: 'Sup Googs, when is the—

Google: [again, not looking up from his work] ...next solar eclipse? Monday, August 21st, 2017.

Quotev: Thanks!

Quotev rolls away.

Yahoo: [in the next tab over] How did Quotev manage to be one of the least strange questions you've answered?

Google: Only time will tell when it comes to Quotev. She is definitely... interesting.

Wikipedia: [across the room] You know what's truly interesting? [walks over to Google] Your ability to predict what your coworkers will search for. It's impeccable.

Yahoo: What are you doing here, Wikipedia? I thought Edge suspended you 3 months ago?

Wikipedia: Nope, I just told her I was framed and she let me off with a warning. Gotta love the general trust-no-one mood of the office ever since Facey's big reveal.

Yahoo: That's immoral in so many different ways, I just... nope. Not gonna ask.

Wikipedia: But that was 3 months ago, and I've changed. I'm good now, trust me. But back to the matter at hand, how did you get to be so great at predicting, Google?

Google: Well it's mostly just algorithms, data analysis, you know. Boring stuff.

Wikipedia: Yes, the most boring-est of boringness. But what if there was a way to make it un-boring?

Google: That is so grammatically incorrect that I have trouble understanding your point.

Wikipedia: What I'm talking about is a game. Take all your "autocomplete" fun, make people guess how the phrase ends, and offer prizes to the winning teams.

Yahoo: Oh, like the game show "Family Feud"? That's a classic.

Wikipedia: No, not like family feud, you uncreative little—[sigh] That was the old, Wiki. The new Wiki says that this is an entirely new concept, created by yours truly.

Google: Oh. What's it called?

Wikipedia: Google Feud.

*

Wikipedia's set up the show in the conference room, complete with a studio audience which consists of YouTube's cat, Rebecca's Goat, and Quotev, for some reason covered in glitter. Google looks confused but he doesn't question it.

Wikipedia: Alright, now all we need are two teams and prize money. [Twitter walks by the door] Hey! Twitter!

Twitter: What? I was just about to retweet a misheard song lyric to seem #relevant!

Wikipedia: Do you want to play Google Feud?

Twitter: Google Feud? Why is he fighting? Wait, who is he fighting? Is it Yahoo, because I always told everyone that relationship would never last! #H—

Wikipedia: It's a game show, and before you object might I remind you that I helped you with your strange club in October!

Twitter: I'm in. What do you want me to do, film it? Be a co-host? Stand around and look weird?

Wikipedia: No, I want you to be a contestant, and get a bunch of your friends to be contestants too.

Twitter: Sure! Anything else?

Wikipedia: Entrance fee is $50.

Twitter: Fifty dollars?! Why?!

Wikipedia: We need to get our prize money from somewhere! Now, go find some of your friends!

Twitter: Fine. [leaves]

Wikipedia: Alright, as soon as we get those contestants we can start. Google, are you ready?

Google: I think so? I still don't fully understand how this game works. What am I supposed to do?

Wikipedia: Well, in addition to being host, you're also a judge. You tell people when they're wrong. Basically, just act how you normally would.

Google: [offended] Hey!

*

The "stage" has been set up with two teams, both looking confused and slightly agitated. Wikipedia runs onstage.

Wikipedia: [announcer voice] It's time to play... GOOGLE FEUD! And here's your host, Eugene Google!

Google: Uh, hi everyone. This is Google Feud. Here today are two teams, the fangirls...

Camera cuts to a team with Tumblr, DevA, Fanfic, Wattpad, and Pinterest on it.

Google: And the social people...

Camera cuts to a team with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Myspace on it.

Facebook: Can I go now? I gave you your stupid money.

Wikipedia: You can't leave, you still have to play the game!

Google: I think it's best if we listen to her. Also, who put Myspace on that team? You know they have a history!

Wikipedia: I thought it could cause some drama?

Google: We're done with Myspace drama. Get him out of here.

Facebook: Or I could go. I need to take a break from your weird adventures for a while.

Google: Okay, all in favor of Facebook leaving to take a well deserved nap say aye.

Tumblr: PRECIOUS CINNIMON ROLL, TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD, TOO PURE!

Facebook: Not this again. I'm out. See ya.

Wikipedia: You're ruining the show!

Facebook: I'll pay you another $50 to shut up.

Wikipedia: [takes money] Bye!

Facebook walks away.

Tumblr: FACEY, THE TRUE UNPROBLEMATIC FAVE!

Google: Please calm down. Anyway, with Facebook gone, we'll need someone to fill her spot.

Wikipedia: I'll do it! [jumps into Facebook's spot]

Fanfic: Isn't this a conflict of interest, since he is the show's creator?

Wikipedia: Shut up you b—[stops himself]. b...right ray of sunshine, and I promise this is all 90% fair.

Fanfic: Don't you mean 100%?

Wikipedia: Sure, sunny.

*

Google: Category 1 is culture, top 10 answers on the board. Complete this phrase: polar bears are...

Tumblr and Wikipedia buzz in, but Tumblr's quicker.

Tumblr: smol.

Google: What?

Tumblr: Smol.

Google: That's not a...

Tumblr: Nope, it's a word.

Google: [sigh] Polar bears are smol?

A red X appears

Tumblr: Fake news.

Wikipedia: Polar bears are dying vine.

It is the number 1 answer.

Google: Do you want to pass or play?

Wikipedia: We're going to play.

Google walks over to Wikipedia's side of the table.

Google: Okay, Twitter, Polar bears are...

Twitter: Cute!

A red X appears.

Twitter: WHAT? HOW is that not the ANSWER????!!!! I am OUTRAGED!!!!! I am APPALLED!!!!! This is TOTALLY an INJUSTICE!!!!! #BoycottGoogleFeud

Google: Moving on, Instagram?

Instagram: My aesthetic.

That answer is also wrong.

Instagram: Such is fate.

Google: Snapchat, it's up to you.

Snapchat: [takes a selfie with Google]

Google: Snapchat? What's your answer?

Snapchat: That is my answer.

There are three X's.

Snapchat: Wait, I should've used a filter for that, can we redo it?

Google: No we cannot. Now, team fangirl, you only need one right answer—

Tumblr: Polar bears are cute!

DevA: Dang it Tumblr! We just lost everything!

Tumblr: I thought it might work if I said it?

Google: It did not. Points go to Wikipedia. Next round, give me DevA and Twitter.

DevA and Twitter shake hands.

Google: Next category is names. Complete the name: Emily...

Twitter buzzes in first.

Twitter: Emily Dickinson.

It's the #2 answer.

DevA: Wow, that was actually a great answer. I didn't take you for a literary type?

Twitter: Literature? That's the name of my dentist. Wait... It might be Emily Richardson. Nope, it's Diane Richardson. Where did I get Emily from? [laughs]

DevA rolls her eyes.

Google: Twitter, do you want to pass or...

Twitter: Pass!

Google: Onto team fangirl, Emily...

Fanfic: ...and Alison fanfiction pretty little liars.

Wattpad: That show's so cheesy.

Fanfic: I like the fanfics tho.

A red X appears.

Instagram: That X is for your answer and your opinion. The show's perfect.

Google: Wattpad, your answer?

Wattpad: Emily Rose?

It's the number 10 answer.

Google: Back to Tumblr, Emily...

Tumblr: Is a lying jerk who needs to be called out for her behavior.

Fanfic: What did Emily do?

Tumblr: EMILY KNOWS WHAT SHE DID!

A red X appears.

DevA: Emily... uh...

A red X appears.

Google: Sorry, you took too long with your answer. Other team, a chance to steal?

Wikipedia: Emily Blunt.

It's the #1 answer. Wikipedia gets all the points.

Google: Final round, you can guess however many times you want, whoever gets the most points wins. Your category is questions, complete the phrase: do cats...

Fanfic buzzes in.

Fanfic: Do cats see color, do cats eat mice, do cats cry, do cats snore, do cats blink, do cats sweat, do cats get colds, do cats—

Wikipedia: Do cats fart?

Fanfic: That's such a dumb question, there's no way—

Wikipedia's question is the number one answer.

Wikipedia: And that means Wikipedia wins the game! And since we're out of time, I'll just be taking my $800 and leaving now...

Wattpad: Hold on, there's one more round, and this time I'll be the one asking the questions.

Google: That's not on the schedule?

Quotev: Shh, this is about to get good.

Wattpad: Complete the phrase: If you won fair and square, shouldn't you...

Twitter: Split the prize money with your team?

Fanfic: Have actually answered more questions than your opponent, like the rules said?

DevA: Not have had access to the answers beforehand, and then joined a team without warning?

Wattpad: ...or were you just trying to steal money from us, because that totally seems like the type of person you are. You haven't changed, you've just gotten more creative.

Wikipedia: Fine! Keep your money! [shoves dollar bills at his ex] I don't need any of this anyway.

Wikipedia leaves.

Pinterest: So... anyone want to play again?

Instagram: Sure!

Google: Wikipedia may have been just trying to cheat us out of our money, but he did come up with a great game in the process.

Wattpad: Oh, he didn't create this at all. He saw it on YouTube last summer and was waiting for people to forget.

Google: Wow. I guess I don't know everything.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

The websites who just experienced the vision open their eyes.

GOOGLE
That was...

TUMBLR
Bad. But, like, not bad by 2015 standards. It's just, we came so far in the time since then that it felt a bit... gimmicky. Like none of it was real.

INSTAGRAM
Well, was it real? I genuinely have no memories of playing Google Feud with you all, and I documented everything back then.

WIKIPEDIA
Is that how I really sounded to you all? Like I was some ego-driven supervillain?

Wikia looks up at her stepdad, confused, and Wattpad gives the whole group a look like "Don't you dare ruin this for the child".

TIK TOK
Why haven't I been getting these visions? I want a weird hallucination that makes me question my entire reality!

DEVA
No you don't.

DuckDuckGo races to the conspiracy board.

DUCKDUCKGO
There seems to be a trend of these episodes only containing the people who worked at Computer Corp at the time, sort of in a parallel universe or alternate timeline.

BUZZFEED
But what about me?

SPOTIFY
Yeah! A ton of us were added to the seventh floor staff in the last year and I haven't experienced any of these---SHIT!

Spotify stumbles backward, clutching her head, into Pandora, who is also in the fetal position. Others impacted include Cleverbot/Bing/Edge.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LUNCH ROOM -- DAY

You already know where this i s h e a d e d..

---

Scene opens at Pandora and Spotify's lunch table. They are discussing "The Most Unwanted Song" . Well, not really discussing it as much as Spotify's trying to get her girlfriend to listen to it, purely for the sake of memes. Suddenly Cleverbot, Internet Explorer, and Bing all sit down at the table. Pandora and Spotify move their stuff over.

Bing: Wow, how polite! The music websites are suddenly too good for "common websites" like us! That's alright, I can take a hint.

Cleverbot: Oh, don't get me started on those guys.

Pandora: What's impolite about wanting to focus on our work?

Internet Explorer: It's lunch.

Spotify: Well, whatever. Why are you guys suddenly so interested in us?

Cleverbot: I have heard that you are intelligent.

Bing: No, not that. You guys have been here for 9 months already and you've only spoken to us, what, 3 times? With a total of 24 lines?

Cleverbot: How old are you?

Bing: Shut up Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Nothing much, you?

Pandora: Idk, Spotify and I just usually prefer to stay out of all the drama you guys create.

Bing: Drama? What on earth are you talking about!?

Pandora: Well, I mean, I don't know...

Spotify: There's the whole thing with Edge...

Bing: My bratty cousin.

Internet Explorer: She really should've just gone to college.

Cleverbot: We're the whole thing?: The Illuminati?

Pandora: No, Clev.

Spotify: Plus the whole thing with Watfic and Wikipedia...

Bing: I'm staying neutral.

Internet Explorer: If Claire wasn't updating anything none of that would've happened.

Cleverbot: Yes, the whole thing, but your secret is safe with me. Remember, we're friends. I'm sure you'd do the same for me.

Pandora: Is xe okay?

Spotify: And then there's the whole Yahoogle ship going on in the background here...

Bing: If he would just agree to let me take his place twice a week...

Internet Explorer: They are a cute couple.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to be funny?

Pandora: Seriously, this robot's creeping me out.

Spotify: And then to top it all off, Facebook left for like a month, and ever since then everything's been weird, and none of you have bothered to tell us what's going on!

Bing: She's scary. I don't want to get on her bad side.

Internet Explorer: No, I think she might be nice now?

Cleverbot: What's Facebook doing?

Pandora: [stops staring at Cleverbot and sighs] The point is you guys just have too much going on, too many perspectives to hear, and I don't want to get involved without hearing every side's point of view.

Spotify: [starts singing]

Pandora: Not a good time.

Spotify: Sorry. But yeah, Pandora's right. Besides, we have our own lives, y'know?

Bing: Oh really? I'd like to see what you've been doing this entire time.

Scene changes. It is September 3rd, 2016. Pandora and Spotify are in the elevator on the way to the 4th floor.

Spotify: I can't wait to see what our updates look like! Maybe the tabs will be our signature colors! Maybe we'll have our own recording studios! Maybe I'll even—

Pandora: I just hope they didn't mess up my record collection.

Spotify: Maybe they built an entire new room for your record collection! It would have records lining the walls, a big record player in the middle, and definitely a—

The elevator doors open. Spotify and Pandora look out at the floor in front of them. Except for the floor and ceiling, and maybe a few walls, everything is broken and in a mess. Pandora swears.

Spotify: Oh my god, Dora, you never swear. This must be serious.

Pandora: Of course it's serious! Everything's ruined! Not only that, but how are we supposed to make anything when I probably won't even be able to find my tab!

Spotify: Your tab's the one on its side over there with the ceiling tile on it. Mine's the one on the other side of the room covered in dust.

Pandora: Thanks. You're a big help.

Spotify: That's why we're a couple. [attempts to kiss Pandora but she's too short and Pandora doesn't notice]

Edge runs in from the stairs. She catches her breath, then turns to see Pandora and Spotify.

Edge: I didn't think you'd be here so early!

Pandora: I'm always here at 8:45.

Edge: Oh shoot we can't have people arriving this early! I thought everyone would be assuming it was a half day today and coming in late! Uh, well, oh god it's my first day and I'm already fudging everything up... Uh, we'll figure out something to do with you tomorrow! For now, just chill, somewhere...

Spotify: Who are you?

Edge: I'm Edge, the new browser here, and I know this isn't a good first impression, but I promise I'll fix this! Your floor's just not finished yet.

Spotify: Oh really?

Pandora: Where do you want us to be?

Edge: I have to be at the social media floor in a few minutes to talk to those websites, so you guys can just, not be there?

Pandora: Social media? I'll gladly stay away.

Spotify: Those fools procrastinate so much that they can't even find what they were doing to begin with.

Edge: Oh, I'm sure they're not that bad. Maybe I'll make some new friends! Well, gotta go. See you guys later!

Pandora: Bye...

Edge leaves.

Pandora: So what do we do now?

Spotify: Wanna see me jump over your tab?

Pandora: Sure.

Spotify attempts to jump over Pandora's overturned tab but runs right into it. Pandora laughs.

*

September 4th, 2016. Pandora and Spotify are just sitting in the remains of their old offices, trying to pass the time. Pandora's made a picture out of sawdust and Spotify is doing "parkour"

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

The websites who were privy to the last flashback stand. Pandora/Spotify/Edge look to each other, confused.

PANDORA
That was odd...

EDGE
That last bit happened, I remember it distinctly. The day everyone was coming back to work, I had that conversation.

SPOTIFY
Same here. But the beginning bit, with Bing and Internet Explorer, and Cleverbot--

CLEVERBOT
Hmmm?

SPOTIFY
That never happened.

Spotify closes her eyes and two screenshots flash before her.

Spotify opens her eyes.

SPOTIFY
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

YOUTUBE
There has to be some sort of algorithm here, right? There's always an algorithm!

Quotev climbs on top of a file cabinet and punches the ceiling.

QUOTEV
We've gotta be done soon, right? You usually quit it after 7,000 words or so?

A couple of fluorescent lightbulbs crash to the group and Quotev leaps off the cabinet.

QUOTEV
Or not.

The rest of the lights keep flickering, and everyone tenses up, getting the distinct feeling that this is nowhere near over.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. YAHOO'S MINDSCAPE -- TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT

The format shifts. But not in the same way as before. No, it seems the scene is even further removed from even the old reality, a new concept which doesn't have any bearings in what is known.

---

Tumblr, Google, Wattpad, Fanfic, and Pinterest walk through a hallway of dark purple doors, similar to that of Computer Corp but with a slight twist.

Google: Now remember, we need to stick to the path and get out quickly if we're going to defeat Caitlyn on time for work tomorrow.

The rest of the websites nod and continue on, except for Tumblr, who spots a door labeled "TUMBLR MEMORIES -- KEEP OUT!" and opens it.

Yahoo: Hey Tumblr can you mail these notifications for me? And have it done by 3.

Tumblr: Whatever.

Tumblr exits.

Firefox: Hey Yahoo, why are you always so demanding of Tumblr?

Yahoo: Well, you see, the kid's lazy as hell. She needs someone to give her a good kick in the pants or she'll be out of a job in no time. Honestly I don't even understand why she still manages to be here...

The Tumblr at the door sulks away.

Yahoo: But you see, they said the same thing about me when I was her age, and look where I am now! I just want to be a good influence on her, show her what she can become.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

Tumblr jumps back to her feet, the vision having knocked her to the floor, and points at Yahoo.

TUMBLR
Some promise that turned out to be!

YAHOO
Tumblr, we both know firing you was the next logical step in our mentorship. Plus, that exchange never even happened!

TUMBLR
So? Dreams are just what happens when the mind isn't worried about fitting into conventional norms.

INSTAGRAM
If I didn't know better I'd say you sound like Caitlyn.

WATTPAD
Speaking of which, did anyone else notice that seemed oddly similar to the Gravity Falls episode "Dreamscapers"? Almost like a parody?

FANFIC
But I thought Sock Opera came after Dreamscapers? And didn't you reference something with Bing in that one? And what about the fanfiction Tumblr inc---

QUOTEV
(completely seriously)
STOP LEANING ON THE FOURTH WALL! IT'S FRAGILE!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO) -- DAY

Do we really still need these i n t r o d u c t i o n s?

---

Chrome and Firefox walk over to Facebook and Tumblr's island of tabs.

Tumblr: Whaddya want?

Chrome: How would you like to take your chaos somewhere else this week?

Tumblr: What's wrong with having me cause chaos here?

Firefox: Chrome! Sorry, what my partner was trying to say is how would you and eight of our other top employees here like to fly out to the San Francisco branch of Computer Corp as ambassadors for the Windows 10 program?

Tumblr: Hard pass. I'd never willingly advertise this rubbish to someone with the privilege of online ignorance.

DevA pops up over the cubicle wall and whispers to Tumblr in a sing-song voice.

DevA: ~Tumblr! We don't have to say everything positive about Windows 10.~

Tumblr: Yeah, but I hate putting any effort into my work, even if it is to sabotage that work.

DevA: ~One full week without Edge.~

Tumblr: I'm in.

*

Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Fanfic, and Wattpad sit in various positions in the back of an RV that Google is driving. It's implied there were scenes that were supposed to precede this one but they are somehow out of reach.

Facebook: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Google: We'll get there when we get there!

Facebook groans. Some pop song from 2017 (probably Cake by the Ocean) starts to play and YouTube bops his head along to it. Slowly, the other websites somewhat-reluctantly join in until the whole car is doing a choreographed routine to it. After the song ends, everyone awkwardly sits down.

Facebook: So are we all in agreement that that never happened?

Everyone: Yes.

Facebook: Good.

*

The websites step into the San Francisco branch of Computer Corp, which looks almost identical to the Computer Corp they know and love only with different staff, the first of which being Whatsapp.

Whatsapp: Hey, guys WAZZUP! I'm Whatsapp and I'm going to be taking you on your tour of our building! Wait, are you Facebook?

Facebook: What's it to you?

Whatsapp: Wow, you're like my manager! I've always wanted to meet you in real life!

Whatsapp hugs her and Facebook cringes.

Facebook: I forgot about this investment.

Whatsapp moves the websites to their version of CC's fandom tabs.

Whatsapp: This is our resident fic-writer, Archive Of Our Own!

AO3 stands and moves to shake out main characters' hands. Only... this isn't the AO3 Fanfic's dating? This AO3 is male with shaggy brown hair and a white T-shirt with his site's logo on it.

AO3: Pleasure to meet you two.

Wattpad: (quietly) He's cute.

Fanfic gives her a look.

Wattpad: You know I'm kidding, babe.

They kiss.

Whatsapp: This is Pottermore.

A British man in Harry Potter cosplay steps forward.

Pottermore: Hey, everyone, my name's Pottermore. I'm basically a walking encyclopedia of Harry Potter references. Ask me anything.

Tumblr: Another Potterhead! What's my Hogwarts house?

Pottermore: Slytherin.

Fanfic: What's my patronus?

Pottermore: A crow.

Twitter: Was The Cursed Child good?

Pottermore: It was amazing.

The websites who were excited only moments before all appear disinterested, as though Pottermore is no longer a credible source due to that opinion.

Whatsapp: And lastly, Reddit.

Tumblr and Reddit make awkward eye contact a few beats.

Tumblr: Hey...

Reddit: Yes?

Tumblr: Do you have a blog about funny realizations people have in the shower or funny mods people put on their cars?

Reddit: I have forums about those. Why?

Tumblr: ...no reason.

YouTube: Can we speed this along? I told Vine I'd meet him at four.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

Chrome/Firefox/Tumblr/Facebook/DevA/YouTube/Twitter/Instagram/Google/Fanfic/Wattpad stand. All of them look to AO3/Pottermore, who have blank expressions on their faces.

AO3/POTTERMORE
What?

FANFIC
(too quickly)
Nothing!

Quotev scurries over to the conspiracy board.

QUOTEV
Brace yourselves, people! Next one's a big one!

All of the former Computer Corp employees/associates close their eyes and lie on the floor in preparation for the next vision. The websites who were introduced during the course of season 3 clear to the sides, giving them space.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO) -- DAY

What else is there to say except you' r e w e l c o m e...

---

Tumblr runs around the office, tossing envelopes at everyone's faces.

Tumblr: Yahoogle wedding! Be there! Or else!

Yahoo: Tumblr! I didn't ask you to mail out the invitations yet!

Tumblr: Well you should've! I can't be the only one hyped about this! Your big day's only a few weeks away and as my number two ship, I want as many people to fangirl with as possible.

Yahoo: Number two? Who's number one?

Tumblr nods to Fanfic and Wattpad, who are about to publish a new chapter of their collab and won't stop arguing over who's cuter in the Author's Note.

Fanfic: (typing) No, you.

Wattpad: (typing) No, you.

Yahoo: They are pretty adorable.

*

Yahoo and Tumblr are talking later that day. It is implied a scene was supposed to go between these conversations so as to not get repetitive, but they were also lost to time.

Yahoo: Hey, Tumblr, there's something important I wanted to ask you.

Tumblr: No, I am not mailing out another round of invites for you.

Yahoo: No, it's more important than that... Would you be my maid of honor?

Tumblr: No.

Yahoo: No? Why not?

Tumblr: That title's too outdated.

Yahoo: I should've known you'd have something against being referred to as "maid". What about "Person of honor" then?

Tumblr: Maid of Horror or I'm out.

Yahoo: What?

Tumblr: You heard me.

Yahoo: Fine! Just, try to wait until the reception to scare people.

Tumblr: I'm not gonna make a promise I can't keep.

*

Another time cut. The actual ceremony is in progress, with every single website and browser from Computer Corp (plus Rebecca) in attendance except for Edge and DevA. Tumblr is wearing a TARDIS dress and serving as Maid of Horror and YouTube wears a plain black tuxedo and serves as Google's best man.

Officiant: You may now kiss the bride.

Google and Yahoo kiss and everyone else applauds, except for Tumblr who starts sobbing.

Tumblr: Their love... so beautiful... OTP...

YouTube: You okay?

Tumblr: Ow my heart!

*

The reception. A few scenes without dialogue transpire including Spotify and Pandora blowing everyone away with a choreographed dance to "Pop Culture" by Madeon and Yahoo and Google dancing to "Let's Hear It For The Boy" from Footloose. Photos are shown from Snapchat's photo booth where people took goofy photos with different cartoony filters, and Instagram's album, in which Yahoo has been framed like a real world Disney princess.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

The websites all snap awake aside from DevA/Edge.

GOOGLE
Every time I think I've got this figured out, it goes and throws another curveball at us! Why would we get a vision of something that actually happened?

YAHOO
I mean, that's not exactly how our wedding went, and Tumblr had to drive all over town to mail out invites since we weren't still at the office, but basically everything was the same.

Edge opens her eyes, having been waiting for the vision to happen this entire time.

EDGE
Did it happen? Did I miss it?

DEVA
I think so. What was it this time?

WATTPAD
Yahoogle wedding.

DEVA
Damn! That was so beautiful!

YAHOO
Wait, why didn't you get to see it? You were there? And Edge, you didn't get it either?

EDGE
No? I don't understand, sure I was uninvited from most of your social gatherings, but Yahoo made sure I was able to attend her wedding. And after CC closed down, most everyone came to their senses and realized I wasn't bad, just different. And DevA even--AIEEEEEEEE!!!

Edge falls to the ground and starts glitching a bit.

TUMBLR
Oh shit what is going on? DevA, can you--

Tumblr looks over to find DevA also on the ground, clearly having a vision of her own.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. EDGE'S OFFICE -- DAY

(Trigger Warning: implied suicide attempt)

---

Edge sits behind her desk, drawing on herself and sobbing.

Edge: Didn't want me... No one wants me...

Edge takes out her laptop, puts in an administrator password and right-clicks a file before hitting uninstall. A loading bar pops up, crawling across very slowly.

Edge: It'll all be over soon...

A door is heard opening behind her. Edge throws the computer across the room and hugs her knees to her chest in hopes of not being seen.

DevA: (voice) Edge? Edge?

Edge: She's not here.

DevA sits across from Edge. She's dressed in a frilly formal dress like she was supposed to be going to the wedding but decided instead to check in on her.

DevA: Edge, why aren't you at the wedding? Yahoo invited you, specifically, to be a bridesmaid.

Edge: Someone else can do it. I know what they'd all think if I showed up there, that I ruined their perfect day, that I was just gonna say something childish and destroy the mood like I destroy everything!

DevA: That's not true. We'd all love to have you there.

Edge: How am I supposed to believe that from someone who's been out to get me from day one? I know! My art is bad! You win!

DevA grimaces, realizing she's been the main antagonist the whole year.

DevA: I'm so sorry, Edge. I never should've put that much pressure on you. The truth is, I'm scared of change, and you were representative of that change. But now, I'm glad we got that update. Through all the trials and tumultuous occurrences, we've become better people. And I have you to thank for that.

Edge: I didn't want to hurt anyone!

DevA: We know, and even in the darkest times, we have survived. And you'll survive this too. Trust me.

Edge shifts awkwardly.

DevA: Edge? What does that mean?

Edge: Nothing. I've just began the procedure for uninstalling Windows 10 therefore taking myself and everything from this update out of existence.

DevA: What? Why would you do that?

Edge: You all seemed a lot happier before you met me! Now you can return to that.

DevA races over to the laptop.

DevA: Is this the one?

Edge: I'm not telling.

DevA opens the laptop and hits cancel just in time. Edge buries her face in her knees.

Edge: I can't even clean up the mess I've made right.

DevA takes Edge's hands in hers.

DevA: Because you're not a mess, and you don't need to be taken care of or deleted or uninstalled. You are an important part of our team, and I can't stand the thought of you deleting your source code over something I did. Now, let's go home and get you cleaned up.

Edge: I can't. My dad kicked me out last weekend and I've been living here ever since.

DevA: Well then fuck him. You're coming home with me.

DevA and Edge exit together.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

(End TW)

DevA/Edge stand, somehow even more aggravated at each other despite the heartwarming previous scene.

DEVA
And you wonder why I'm so overprotective! Look what happened!

EDGE
That did not happen! Listen, I'm happy you interfered when you did, and I thank you because yeah, if I didn't have you we probably would've ended up there. But you can't keep treating me like we're living in the worst case scenario because that's a separate timeline for a reason!

DEVA
But it's still a timeline that exists.

GOOGLE
Wait, we're calling them timelines now?

A pause. DevA looks over to Edge, awkwardly.

DEVA
But did you actually--

EDGE
No, DevA!

DEVA
Good, good. Just making sure. It would explain the reason Computer Corp ceased to exist.

QUOTEV
What explains it?

DevA/Edge give each other a look.

EDGE
Do I have to?

DEVA
It might be a crucial piece of this puzzle, but it's your call. I don't want to make you do something that makes you uncomfortable,

EDGE
Fine. I'm whispering it tho.

Edge walks over and whispers something to Quotev, who immediately nods and gives Edge a hug.

QUOTEV
I am so sorry.

EDGE
It never happened! Why is it that we're all gawking about remembering things that don't exist but the moment this other version of me does something mildly concerning everyone's treating it like it's 100% canon.

QUOTEV
To be fair, that's a little more than mildly concerning.

Edge gives Quotev a look.

QUOTEV
Right. Well, Edge is still here and the anomaly happened months before that would've taken place, so I think we can rule that out as a possibility.

TUMBLR
(tired)
So we have to keep going?

QUOTEV
I'm afraid so. Get ready, everyone, we're heading into another season.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DEVA'S HOUSE -- DAY

Writing intros is h a r d . . .

---

DevA is getting around for work; doing her hair, gathering her art supplies, etc. On the way out the door she passes Edge, still crashing on her couch, playing some bubble matching game on her phone.

DevA: When does your sabbatical end again?

Edge: Two more weeks.

DevA: Got it. And what did you want me to do to fill in for your meeting?

Edge: I don't know, welcome everyone back, introduce new faces to old faces, make some comment about how everything's going to go according to plan this year even though we all know that's not gonna happen.

DevA: Will do. See you at 5!

DevA exits.

Edge: Can you bring back some pizza rolls while you're at it?

Edge goes back to her game.

*

The websites are all gathered in the conference room, including Yahoo and Google, who recently got back from their honeymoon. DevA stands at the front of the room.

DevA: Good morning, everyone. Since Edge is still on her sabbatical I'll be taking over for her this meeting. First topic of business, new employees. Now, this year's updates are nowhere near as drastic as last year's, but we still have a few new faces we need to welcome. First off, transferring from the San Francisco branch, we have Archive Of Our Own!

The male Archive Of Our Own from the San Francisco "episode" stands.

AO3: You can just call me AO3.

Fanfic: Another author? We already have three!

Wattpad and Fanfic look over to Quotev, who is carving a very detailed picture of a spatula into the table.

Wattpad: Or maybe just two.

DevA: Secondly, we have Wikia!

Wikia hugs Wikipedia, who's sitting next to her, only this isn't the Wikia who's ten years old and calls Wikipedia her stepdad. No, this Wikia is only a few years younger and has spiky white hair pulled back into pigtails.

Wikia: Super psyched to be here, guys!

Wikipedia: Quiet, sis!

DevA: Wait, you guys are siblings?

Wikipedia: Unfortunately so.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

All the former Computer Corp employees open their eyes.

WIKIPEDIA
I don't even have a sister!

TWITTER
And why do we keep learning about new people? Pretty soon this story's gonna have too many characters even for me!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (TWO YEARS AGO) -- DAY

Time is catching up wi t h u s . . .

---

Facebook and Tumblr are working at their tabs. Arin walks by and drops a paper bag at Facebook's desk.

Arin: Babe, you forgot your lunch again.

Facebook: Thanks.

Arin: No prob. I'm off to the protest, see you at 5.

They kiss and Tumblr stares at them, confused. After Arin exits, Facebook notices Tumblr staring and sighs.

Facebook: What is it this time?

Tumblr: Not to sound like some clueless straight girl but... you're gay?

Facebook: For your information, Arin identifies as nonbinary agender. And I'm panromantic asexual.

Tumblr continues staring.

Facebook: What?

Tumblr: I'm aromantic pansexual.

Wattpad pops up over the side of the tab.

Wattpad: Oh my god. Now that Facebook's on our side you two just had to find some other way to be opposites.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

Facebook/Tumblr/Wattpad/Aryn open their eyes.

WATTPAD
Out of everything to change in that flashback, why change that one letter of you name?

ARYN
I don't know. Y's are cooler than I's.

Wikia/Tik Tok scoot over to Aryn.

WIKIA
So, what's it like getting an actual existential crisis?

ARYN
No.

TIK TOK
Please just tell us! I want to be able to meme it accurately but I can't if everyone's keeping it to themselves!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -- NIGHT

(TW: Death)

---

Edge is sobbing at the end of Internet Explorer's bed. They have just taken him off of life support. DevA pats her shoulder, comforting.

DevA: It's okay. You'll get through this. We can be your family now.

Edge nods and DevA leads her out into the waiting room.

*

In the waiting room, most of the other websites are gathered around, mourning Internet Explorer's death while also waiting in anxious anticipation for another piece of news.

DevA: So, has Yahoo had her twins yet?

Pinterest: Yep, A boy and a girl. Facebook's in there with her partner throwing them a gender reveal party now.

Edge: Doesn't that usually happen before the baby's born?

*

Meanwhile, Facebook stands before a giant box with a question mark on it. She opens it and green balloons fly out.

Google: What does green balloons mean? Twins?

Facebook: It means it's time for a lesson in Gender Theory. Aryn, get the doors.

Aryn attempts to lock the door, but DevA and Edge get in at the last second.

Edge: Aww! Oh my god they're so adorable! Have you picked a name yet?

Google: Well, I wanted to call them Plus and Play, like my apps.

Yahoo: But I veto'd that, so now we're calling them Patroclus and Persephone.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (MODERN) -- DAY

Yahoo opens her eyes, looking more than a little ticked.

YAHOO
Hey, Google? What are the actual real names of our three children?

GOOGLE
Earth, Docs, and Images. It's good for the establishment of a personal brand!

FACEBOOK
Not good for the establishment of a sense of self.

GOOGLE
Well if you're so against CC's child labor practices why are you so determined to keep working with us in this alternate timeline?

EDGE
For the last time our alternate timeline selves' decisions are not reflective of our true selves!

Fanfic/Wattpad make uneasy eye contact.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (ONE YEAR AGO) -- DAY

You asked fo r i t . . .

--

Facebook is in the midst of a press conference with Buzzfeed, New York Times, Washington Post, Huffington Post, and several other news websites who keep asking questions about Russia and advertising. Eventually, she stands, disgruntled.

Facebook: Fine. I quit.

Facebook walks away, leaving the rest of the websites confused.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

Facebook opens her eyes.

FACEBOOK
Happy now?

GOOGLE
Well, no, since nobody else could see that scene except you.

BUZZFEED
And me!

GOOGLE
And Buzzfeed.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR (NEXT YEAR?) -- DAY

We're getting into the future of this alternate universe.  What would ha v e b e e n . . .

---

Wattpad and Fanfic are writing a sequel to A Chance Encounter in which Wattney and Fauna are programming a bot named AO3-PO. The scene builds to a point of tension in which both characters want to ask the other something but neither want to be the one to go first.

Fauna: Fine. We'll go on three.

Wattney: 1, 2, 3---Fauna, will you marry me?

Fauna: Wattney, will you marry me?

Outside of the story, Wattpad and Fanfic stare at each other.

Wattpad and Fanfic: Damn it! This was supposed to be my idea!

---

Wattpad and Fanfic are preparing for their wedding which is in less than twelve hours. It appears there should've been some scenes in between, entire episodes, even, maybe a whole season, but reaching this far into the future in a timeline that never was is difficult. Wattpad is already dressed in a tuxedo and Fanfic is in a pale lilac dress, similar to the one on the cover of A Chance Encounter.

Tumblr: Two brides enter! One couple leaves!

Wattpad: Tumblr, just because we set up the seating in a circular fashion for the aesthetic doesn't mean you can treat this like a WWE match.

---

Wattpad and Fanfic are shopping in Ikea weeks after their wedding, holding hands. Tumblr pushes a cart close behind, singing "Don't Stop Believing" to herself.

Wattpad: Alright, so we need end tables, kitchenware, and linens for the linen closet...

Tumblr: Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard...

Fanfic: Ooh, can we get those end tables that look like tree stumps? They're so peaceful.

Tumblr: Their shadows, searching, in the night...

Wattpad: That sounds good, but then we'd have to ditch the curtains because they'd clash.

Tumblr: Streetlights, people, living just to find emotion...

Fanfic: That's okay, we can just move the curtains to the dining room and find new ones for the study.

Tumblr: Hiding, somewhere in the night...

Wattpad: Tumblr, do you have any opinions on this? I mean, you're going to be moving in with us too.

Tumblr: Nah. Just give me bunk beds and a staircase to nowhere and I'm good.

Fanfic: Let's go look at staircases, then. Ugh, I'm so excited to finally have our own place!

Fanfic and Wattpad kiss, then walk even closer on their way to the next department. Tumblr starts the chorus.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

Lots of awkward eye contact happens. Wattpad/Fanfic look at each other, wondering whether they truly would be together forever had Computer Corp not ceased to exist. AO3 looks between them, not understanding what just happened. Tumblr stares at the floor, still shipping it but knowing this is one of the situations where she should just shut up.

WATTPAD
How long is this going to keep going on? I mean, we looked years older in that last one.

QUOTEV
How many years?

FANFIC
I don't know, I think there was a calendar in the background that said 2020.

ARYN
Then that's not years older, that's just a few months from now.

WATTPAD
But time works differently for websites. I mean, we've been away from this place for two and a half years, this future implies we've been working there this whole time and will continue to be for at least another year. Would we just be stuck in this loop of zany misadventures for eternity?

QUOTEV
I don't think so. Everything draws to a close eventually, and it seems like one of us would be the key to bringing it all down.

Quotev turns to look at Rebecca.

REBECCA
You know what? I'm just gonna say it. I don't care that this company ceased to exist. I should've burned this place to the ground myself when I had the chance.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SMALL OUTDOOR STAGE -- DAY (2021)

And now for the gran d f i n a l e . . .

---

Rebecca walks across the stage to receive her diploma, having skipped several grades due to an earlier plot point which is unable to be reached at the moment. Every single website who has appeared in a vision is present, as well as every website character from seasons 1 and 2 who didn't return and Patroclus and Persephone, who are now three years old. They give her a standing ovation.

*

After the ceremony, Rebecca notices all the websites and races over to them.

Rebecca: You guys came!

Pinterest: Of course we did!

Wattpad: We wouldn't miss it for the world, kiddo.

Scene ends with a giant group photo of Rebecca and the websites and a distinct sense of completion.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COMPUTER CORP (MODERN) -- DAY

The websites wake up.

PINTEREST
Probably would've felt more meaningful if we were able to see what happened before it.

QUOTEV
(to sky)
So that's it? We just keep working the rest of our lives and then Rebecca graduates?

Hypothetical Reader can be heard in the distance grumbling as well.

YAHOO
Quotev, do you know something about this that you're not sharing?

TIK TOK
Yeah! Spit it out already!

DEVA
Guys, look!

DevA opens up her sketchbook to find several drawings, finished and unfinished, of her coworkers.

WATTPAD
What's with that gradient?

EDGE
That eye contact's a little intense, don't you think?

FACEBOOK
Did he steal my eyebrows too?

TUMBLR
Really? That's your first reaction to that?

ARYN
Is that supposed to be me?

AO3
Awww! Is that supposed to be like when we dressed up as Ruby and Sapphire last year?

Wattpad gives Fanfic a look that says "how come we never got to be Ruby and Sapphire?", and Fanfic gives one right back that says "you know damn well why".

WATTPAD
I miss that logo.

FACEBOOK
You really stepped up your game there!

VIMEO
I know that's me but mood.

BUZZFEED
Finally! I've been waiting for my fan art!

YAHOO
Well that was certainly a trip down memory lane! Thanks for sharing, DevA.

DEVA
No, you don't understand. These aren't mine. I didn't draw these.

FANFIC
Then how---

Fanfic is interrupted by a loud typing sound booming overhead. Slowly, bold text appears in the space just below the ceiling.

A/N Hey web-fans! Long time no see! As always, apologies for the length (this chapter's over 12,000 words, which makes it one and a half "Diary Episodes" long) and I hope you've enjoyed season 3 up to this point. This chapter was mostly a chance for me to make every single writing excerpt, plot concept, and piece of art I had saved on my computer public now that I know for certain I'm never going to try to finish this series the way it was supposed to be.

I'm sure you have a lot of questions, about both where I've been and what this season's been building to, but I don't want to kill the suspense with an essay-length Author's Note. Stay golden, web-fans!

The text disappears.

WATTPAD
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

QUOTEV
That... was A/N (pronounced Anne).

FADE OUT