INT. COMPUTER CORP SEVENTH FLOOR -- NIGHT

This episode begins directly after the first ended. Wattpad and Fanfic stare at Quotev with a confused and slightly intimidated expression on their faces.

WATTPAD
What's an Antisocial Media?

QUOTEV
Ah, right, you two can't break the fifth wall yet. Oh how I pity you. Anyway...

Quotev studies her piles of evidence, trying to concoct a user-friendly explanation.

QUOTEV
Okay, so from what I understand it's like the concept of social media, with everyone posting  their individual content from their idealized versions of themselves, except in reverse where all those social connections are contained in one being.
(a beat)
I don't know, she was like twelve.

Wattpad and Fanfic make uneasy eye contact.

FANFIC
Who was "like, twelve"?

QUOTEV
Well, that's another thing I'm not sure about. I'm calling her "Anne" for now, you can find a whole file on her over on Snapchat's old tab. I've been getting these weird messages, these strange visions that I think are coming from her. I'm not saying she's the killer, but she definitely has a role in this.

FANFIC
I've never heard of this person in my life.

QUOTEV
Well her name might not actually be Anne. It's just a nickname.

FANFIC
Still, this all seems pretty far fetched, right Wattpad?

Wattpad examines a report Quotev wrote on the anomaly.

WATTPAD
I think she's right. We were gone for so long, there has to be a reason I was called back here, some sort of master plan which requires getting all the websites under one roof.

FANFIC
So what you're saying is...

WATTPAD
I want to help Quotev investigate this thing. Together.

Fanfic nods, still trusting Wattpad despite their time apart.

FANFIC
Alright, but if we're going to pursue this thing we need a way to find out more information. Quotev, have you gotten any of the search engines involved through your dream-magic or whatever this is?

QUOTEV
No, Anne was mostly going the literary route with her messages.

Fanfic sighs at the mention of "Anne", but tries not to show her annoyance.

WATTPAD
Well, would you happen to know where we could find our old colleagues?

FANFIC
I haven't heard from Google or Yahoo in a while either, but I'd say our best chance of running into a search engine is in the iCloud library on the other side of town. Ever since CC closed down, it's been the number one place for websites to work.

WATTPAD
Awesome! We can head over there now, ask some librarians about Antisocial Media and Anne and all this conspiracy stuff and hopefully that brings us one step closer to whatever we're one step closer to.

QUOTEV
Nice one, Hollyweird.

FANFIC
One small issue with that: The library doesn't open til ten tomorrow. I'd suggest we all get some sleep then meet back here in the morning.

Wattpad and Quotev sigh, displeased at having to wait.

QUOTEV
Okay. Back here by ten tomorrow. Take care, girls. Let me know if you see anything while you're out.

Quotev slinks back into a blanket fort she's made in the space between Vimeo and YouTube's old tabs surrounded by junk food wrappers and crumpled up paper. Wattpad and Fanfic begin to exit.

WATTPAD
(to Fanfic)
I can't believe we're doing another murder mystery directly after the last one.

FANFIC
What do you mean?

WATTPAD
We just cleared Facebook then this little quest is thrown upon us.

QUOTEV (O.S.)
Maybe they're one and the same? The culprit is still unknown.

FANFIC
(to Quotev)
Very nice, Quotev.
(to Wattpad)
I wouldn't worry about repetitiveness. That trial was done with two and a half years ago, I'd be surprised if anyone remembers it by now.

EXT. COMPUTER CORP PARKING LOT -- CONTINUOUS

Wattpad and Fanfic stand together outside Computer Corp.

FANFIC
So, do you need a ride back to your hotel, or...

WATTPAD
Actually, I was just assuming I'd be able to stay with you if that's not too much trouble.

FANFIC
Shit! See, that was another reason I wanted to wait to catch up. AO3's parents are in town for the week, so they're already using my guest room, and I really wish--

WATTPAD
No, no, it's fine. I'll just find someone else to crash with for the week. Is Pinterest still around?

Fanfic gives a sad half-smile.

FANFIC
Actually, almost all of the old websites are off in some other part of the world trying to make something of themselves. In fact, the only one who stayed other than me is...

HARD CUT TO:

EXT. DEVA'S HOUSE -- DAY

Wattpad stands alongside her suitcase on the doorstep outside a modern-looking green house. MICROSOFT EDGE ("EDGE") opens the door. She looks significantly older and healthier but still sports those multicolored pigtails and a pleated skirt.

EDGE
Oh hi, Wattpad! We weren't expecting you so early! Love the hair!

WATTPAD
(confused)
Hey, Edge. Wait, are you and DevA, like...

DEVA (O.S.)
Edge, is someone at the door?

DEVIANTART ("DEVA") makes her way to the doorway and stands next to her roommate.

DEVA
Damn, Wattney. You just went ahead and became the east-coast-girl-moves-to-Cali-cliche, didn't you?

WATTPAD
Not on purpose?

DEVA
I'll show you to your room. Come on.

INT. DEVA'S HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS

DevA carries Wattpad's luggage as she leads her friend down the hall. Wattpad looks around, taking it all in; the pictures on the walls, the art displays in every room, the whole grown-upness of everything even with Edge's childish contributions. Finally, she asks DevA the question that's been on her mind since she first stepped in.

WATTPAD
Are you and Edge, like...

DEVA
God no. This whole situation's a platonic housing arrangement until she is fiscally responsible enough to rent her own place. Until then, she's like my little mentee with her art hobbies, right Edge?

Edge gives a thumbs up from the couch where she's rewatching an episode of She-Ra. DevA leans in a bit closer so only Wattpad can hear the next part.

DEVA
Plus, it was the least I could do to shake the guilt of what we did to her back then. She says she's fine, but I swear I overheard her having nightmares about it for the first year and a half.
(stops whispering)
Luckily that's all past us now and we're nice, supportive roommates, right?

Edge hasn't been paying attention to a single word that's been said, too absorbed in She-Ra.

EDGE
Catra's in this one, Dev! Do you want me to screenshot it so you can have another reference?

DEVA
No, it's fine, Edge. Keep watching.

DevA gives a slight smile to Wattpad before leading her into the guest room.

INT. DEVA'S GUEST ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

DevA drops Wattpad's bags in a corner of the "guest room", which is set up with a futon, drawing desk, and about five different lamps. Wattpad immediately lies down on the futon.

DEVA
Our only "guest room" kind of doubles as my studio so just yell at me whenever you want to kick me out to go to bed.

WATTPAD
Will do.

DevA messes around with one of those mini-mannequins for drawing poses while Wattpad scrolls through her phone. After a minute or two, DevA speaks.

DEVA
So what brings you back in town? Fanfic didn't explain over the phone.

WATTPAD
(laughs)
You wouldn't believe it.

DEVA
Try me.

WATTPAD
So basically Fanfic and I each had our own version of this dream where we're at Computer Corp dressed as our 2015 selves and there's a sword and some blood and an unfinished book.

DEVA
Guillermo del Toro meets Michael Scott. Totally digging this aesthetic, go on.

WATTPAD
Anyway, then we found out that turns out it wasn't actually a dream! Or maybe it was, but it was a prophecy. Shit's unclear. But TL;DR Quotev has this whole conspiracy theory that the reason no one can remember why we stopped working there is because someone (air quotes) "killed Antisocial Media", whatever that means. I'm on board to find out about the whole dream thing, but I don't think the conspiracy runs that deep. I mean, you remember the day you stopped working, right?

DevA drops an oil pastel to the floor.

DEVA
You mean to tell me other people don't remember it either?

WATTPAD
I guess. I mean, I always just assumed it was a perfectly mundane day other than it being "the end of an era", so it's no wonder we wouldn't remember it.

DEVA
But I remembered the day before, going to work, trying to stop Tumblr from calling Facebook a "precious cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure" whenever she saw her, and I remember the day after it, spending the whole day drawing without bothering to get up from my desk when it wasn't necessary. This whole time I thought I'd just adjusted super quickly, but to find others have that decision full-on blocked out? Do you think Quotev would mind if I joined you on your scavenger hunt tomorrow?

WATTPAD
Probably not. Artists are just a couple steps away from authors, and she seemed pretty keen on getting the authors first.

DEVA
Cool.

DevA continues drawing for a few beats and Wattpad continues scrolling through her phone.

DEVA
So why aren't you staying with your ex? I thought the mystery sisters would want to stay together, go over the evidence and whatnot.

WATTPAD
We would, but her roommate's parents are staying over.

DEVA
Ah.

DevA mutters the "And they were roommates" vine to herself, resuming her shading. Wattpad drifts off to sleep, not bothering to tell DevA to turn off the light.

EXT. ICLOUD LIBRARY --  DAY

Wattpad, DevA, Fanfic, and Quotev stand outside the iCloud library, a massive library with the aesthetic of every major tech store put together, before entering.

INT. ICLOUD LIBRARY -- CONTINUOUS

The websites look around at all the websites and humans wandering around and reading off of clear glass tablets. The location is buzzing with activity, and no one seems to have a clear idea where to start.

WATTPAD
How will we ever find anything in a place like this?

DUCKDUCKGO
I can help you there.

The group looks up to see two search engines, DUCKDUCKGO and ECOSIA seated at the circulation desk.

FANFIC
Who're you?

DUCKDUCKGO
We're the search engines that run this joint.

DEVA
(muttered to others)
Great. So we finally meet the next row below Bing on the metaphorical totem pole.

DUCKDUCKGO
Oh, not at all. In fact, even though my name might not be a verb yet a lot of my users actually prefer me to Google for a variety of reasons.

WATTPAD
Whatever. Do you know where we could find information on The Antisocial Media?

QUOTEV
Just "Antisocial Media"

WATTPAD
Just Antisocial Media?

DUCKDUCKGO
Hmm, I don't know. I think this is a question better suited for my partner. Ecosia!

Ecosia looks up from a display of potted plants they've been watering. They have long, greying dreadlocks kept in place with a beaded headband.

ECOSIA
Totally, dudes. Just a sec.

Ecosia begins rifling through some papers in their desk. Wattpad turns to Fanfic.

WATTPAD
Do your recognize this website?

FANFIC
Kind of? They moved in after you were in Los Angeles and YouTube kept recommending them to me but I never got around to talking to them. I heard somewhere that their gimmick is supposed to be that for every 45 searches they plant a tree in a Brazilian rain forest.

WATTPAD
Oh, cool.

Ecosia places a couple of books on the desk.

ECOSIA
We have a couple essays from The Guardian on why cutting off Facebook is a good idea but not much else.

WATTPAD
Jesus Christ hasn't she already been through enough?

QUOTEV
No thanks. DuckDuckGo, what about you? Maybe something by an "Anne"?

DUCKDUCKGO
Sorry miss, I'm afraid I only found more of those Guardian pieces and a Danish punk band from the 2015 Eurovision contest.

WATTPAD
2015...

QUOTEV
Well, unfortunately, you were of no help. Sorry!

Quotev attempts to walk past the circulation desk and the other websites follow. However, before she can get too far DuckDuckGo stops her again.

DUCKDUCKGO
Sorry to intrude, but are you going to ask Google about this next?

QUOTEV
If I say no will you let me pass?

DUCKDUCKGO
I'll let you pass either way. It's just, you might want to proceed with caution. He knows plenty more than he's letting on.

WATTPAD
Knows what?

The other websites start to file past.

WATTPAD
Knows what?

Fanfic takes Wattpad's hand and leads her away. DuckDuckGo leans in so only she can hear his whisper.

DUCKDUCKGO
Carrying on anyway? Careful...

All the websites move on to the next section and the search engines go back to reading/gardening. After a beat, DevA wanders back to the circulation desk trying to act casual.

DEVA
I just had one final question, DuckDuckGo.

DUCKDUCKGO
Shoot.

DEVA
Are you at all related to another app. Last name Go, first name Pokemon?

DUCKDUCKGO
(not amused)
Yes, distant cousins.

DevA runs back to the group.

DEVA
FANFIC! YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!

INT. LIBRARY "BAR" -- CONTINUOUS

The websites continue on until they reach a "bar"--okay, it's more like a cafe than bar and neither of those exist within a typical public library but it fits the aesthetic of a bar. A short man with orange-blonde hair sits, looking as though he's been there for hours.

WATTPAD
Okay, we can't still be in the library now.

FANFIC
No, this is just the Genius Bar. The library added it last year to increase revenue and create a meeting place for the brightest minds among their patrons.

The short man burps.

DEVA
Yea... Things didn't exactly go according to plan.

QUOTEV
No matter, let's just put on our thinking glasses and start looking.

Quotev puts on her treasured pair of 3D glasses and dives behind the bar, searching.

WATTPAD
How can she still be so weird and yet be the only one making any sense right now? At this rate we'll never find Google!

The short man laughs.

BING
Google? Man, I haven't heard that name in years...

The short man reveals himself to be BING, looking largely the same but with a distinct milk mustache.

BING
Alexa! Bring me another milk!

ALEXA
Yes, sir.

Alexa, serving as the bartender, pours Bing another milk.

BING
Thanks, darlin'. Now, you three were saying you wanted to ask a question of Google? The man himself?

DEVA
Four, actually.

Alexa trips over Quotev, who's scurrying around the floor.

WATTPAD
And yes, we were.

BING
I see. Now, you could ask my pal Alexa over here--

ALEXA
I am contractually obligated not to refute that I am his pal.

BING
--And she'd get the information to you simple and easy, no difference from HQ, but I'm guessing you don't want that. You want to meet with Mr. BigShot face-to-face, thinking it'll inspire some old connection which was never there to begin with.

WATTPAD
Yes, we want to meet Google, can we speed this up please?

BING
I can get you in with the boss, but you're going to need an appointment. Lucky for you, the number one searched thing on my website is how to get to Google.

Bing types something on his phone quickly.

BING
Your appointment's at 5:00, password Test123.

WATTPAD
Thank you. Quotev, let's go.

Quotev pops up next to a startled Alexa.

QUOTEV
Alright... but I'm taking THIS!

Quotev holds up a cake pop.

ALEXA
Yes ma'am.

Wattpad, Quotev, Fanfic, and DevA leave and Bing goes back to the same slumped position we found him in.

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE LIBRARY -- CONTINUOUS

Wattpad, Quotev, Fanfic, and DevA stand outside the library, waiting for their rideshare car.

WATTPAD
I wonder why everyone in there had such a thing against Google?

DevA shrugs.

WATTPAD
I mean Google's this smart, funny, humble dork who's friends with everyone. He's number one for a reason.
(a beat)
He literally put "Don't be evil" in the company rule book.

QUOTEV
Our ride's here.

INT. RIDESHARE CAR -- CONTINUOUS

The girls climb into the back of an SUV which is being driven by UBER.

UBER
Hey ladies, where to?

WATTPAD
This address.

Wattpad hands Uber a slip of paper that says "https://www.google.com".

UBER
Got it.

Wattpad puts in her airpods again and plays another song for the duration of the drive.

https://youtu.be/9e9NSMY8QiQ

EXT. GOOGLE'S HEADQUARTERS -- CONTINUOUS

The websites step out to find Google has certainly upgraded since the last time we saw his humble abode. He now lives in a massive headquarters almost entirely covered in darkened glass with the Google logo on the outside, next to a wildly clashing but still adorkable Yahoo logo. DevA whistles.

WATTPAD
Should we just ring the bell or...

A Google Home (the device, not the person's house) pops out of one of the stones in the walkway to the door.

GOOGLE HOME
Please state your purpose?

DEVA
I dunno, being a good person, I guess? Making art?

WATTPAD
It means out purpose here!
(to machine)
We have an appointment scheduled with Google for 5:00.

GOOGLE HOME
Password?

WATTPAD
Uh, Test123 with a capital T?

The Google Home sinks back down into the walkway and a door opens up in the side of the building.

GOOGLE HOME
That is correct. Have a nice day.

The websites continue into the side door, which immediately seals as the last member of their party steps in. Through the darkened glass, it is apparent they have stepped into an elevator, which immediately shuttles them up to the top floor.

INT. PENTHOUSE SUITE -- CONTINUOUS

The elevator doors open to a vast living room at the top of the Googleplex. GOOGLE and YAHOO sit on a red sofa which looks like it gets dry cleaned on the hour sipping champagne as Alexa chases around three children withing the ages of 1-5. Mathematically this wouldn't be possible, but it's almost as though the websites have each been feeling the effects of this time anomaly differently.

DEVA
Uh, hi?

Yahoo looks up and a smile crosses her face, though it's not the same warm, motherly face we knew before.

YAHOO
Oh, it's the internet crew! Gosh, we haven't seen you in forever! Google, it's the internet crew!

GOOGLE
Yes, yes. Very good. Please have a seat. I'll have Alexa prepare the hors d'oeuvres.
(to Alexa)
Alexa! Let the kids have their one hour of screentime starting now.

Alexa passes out tablets to each of Yahoo and Google's children before heading to the kitchen.

GOOGLE
Technology has come such a long way, hasn't it? Anyway, what brings you all to visit on this fine day?

Wattpad/Fanfic/DevA shift awkwardly, wanting to tell the search engines but feeling significantly hesitant due to their overly-posh personas. Quotev, however, doesn't notice.

QUOTEV
Mr. and Mrs. Yahoogle, remember that day back in September 2015 when the browsers came to interview us and everything felt more plugged-in and dramatized for about a year and a half after that?

YAHOO
Yes, I remember the browsers, always stifling my husband's creativity. Luckily the tables have turned on that front, right honey?

GOOGLE
That is correct.

WATTPAD
(to Quotev)
Skip to the end.

QUOTEV
Right. Well, do you remember exactly what happened to make those tables turn the way they did?

GOOGLE
Well, Computer Corp shut down, of course, so my younger brother was out of a job. Luckily, I had become quite the businessman and could offer him a position at one of my subdivisions.

WATTPAD
But that's the thing. Do you remember why, exactly, it got shut down?

Yahoo gets a far off look in her eye while Google simply shakes his head.

GOOGLE
There are no events scheduled in my calendar from that day.

QUOTEV
See, my theory is that we didn't actually stop going to work, we just--

DevA notices Yahoo's expression and hits Wattpad's arm. She understands and cuts Quotev off before she can get even more existential.

WATTPAD
We were wondering if you could Google a few things for us. The first is Antisocial Media.

Google taps his glasses and a hologram appears before him. He turns it around so his guests can see the results.

DEVA
Nope, just the same scholar bitching about Facebook again.

WATTPAD
Could you try adding "Anne" to that?

GOOGLE
No last name?

FANFIC
We haven't gotten that far.

Google enters the correction and shows the results.

QUOTEV
More of the same... How Facebook Undermines Female Politicians... Ooh, a free psychopath test!

WATTPAD
Focus, Quotev. What if you abbreviated it, like AsM?

GOOGLE
Are you looking for the American Society for Microbiology or the American Society of Mammalogists? Or I could add an R, but I think then you'd just get videos of some kid whispering into a microphone while running a hairbrush on a coconut shell.

Wattpad looks to Quotev, who sighs.

QUOTEV
No thanks, Google. You tried your best. Let's go, Hollyweird and the other two.

Quotev exits and the rest of the group follows, not knowing what to do.

EXT. GOOGLE'S MANSION -- CONTINUOUS

As a few of the websites sit on the curb waiting for their Uber, Yahoo comes running outside towards them.

YAHOO
Hey, wait!

The websites look up.

YAHOO
Quotev, what you were saying in there, it really ignited something in me. If this is such a severe gap in our collective memory that no search engine can find the answer, there must be something nefarious at play. And as someone whose entire existence is dedicated to humanity's pursuit of knowledge, I would be damned if I didn't aid in your quest.

FANFIC
Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves...

WATTPAD
What're you saying?

YAHOO
I'm saying I'm taking the summer off to search with you guys! I'm a bit out of practice what with Google getting most of our traffic nowadays, but I'm sure if we work together we can run through this city with a fine tooth comb until all our friends know the truth.

FADE OUT