The trial has continued into its second day. Facebook looks slightly more disheveled than yesterday; she has bags under her eyes and her hair's a mess. She's even having trouble not falling asleep, which is bad, obviously, since she's on trial for murder.

Lawyer: I call to the stand Skylar Pavese, or "Skype" as you call her. But as she is currently in New Zealand, she will be joining us by webcam.

The clerk puts a computer on the witness stand with Skype on the screen. 

YouTube: Hold on, so she gets a webcam but I don't?

Lawyer: She's a key witness and in another country.

YouTube: So?

Lawyer: [ignoring YouTube] Ms. Pavese, I understand that you have evidence that proves the defendant guilty?

Skype: Yes, I—[video freezes, then unfreezes] —then she said she wanted to—  [video freezes, then unfreezes] —And I was like— [video spends 30 seconds buffering] —long story short, they're married now, but back to—[video completely crashes]

YouTube: Ugh. Lag.

Facebook, who's been propping her head up on her hand the entire time, finally falls asleep. Her arm falls out from under her and her head hits the desk.

Facebook: Ow!

Lawyer: Your honor, the defense is clearly intoxicated. 

Facebook: Shut up, I'm not drunk. I'm just tired.

Lawyer: Sure. "Just tired". Tired from what, exactly?

Facebook: Tired of your attitude! Burn! Also, tired from only getting 2 hours of sleep last night. May I request a brief recess?

Lawyer: You're not allowed to—

Judge: I'll allow it. This trial will resume in one hour.

The Lawyer looks frustrated but doesn't say anything. The websites disperse, as well as Facebook, who leaves before anyone can stop her.

*

Facebook is sneaking around the hallways of the courthouse. Myspace floats through a wall and creeps up behind Facebook.

Myspace: Boo.

Facebook: You've got to stop doing that! What if I get caught?

Myspace: You've already been caught, Facey. What's left to lose?

Facebook: My job? My friends? My freedom?

Myspace: Still have it, never had them, and hey, I'll still visit you even after this is done.

Facebook: So you think I'll lose?

Myspace: I know you'll lose. This is finally my time to exact my revenge. For the past 20 years, you have tormented me to no end, and now's my chance to return the favor.

Facebook: Cut the crap, okay? I want to tell them. We don't have to pretend anymore! We're two rational adults, and we can just tell them and move on!

Myspace: Oh, no. They'd never respect a freak like you. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor.

Facebook: I don't care about that, I'm sick of lying to everyone about us!

Facebook and Myspace continue fighting. Tumblr, who has been listening the whole time, gasps and runs away.

*

Tumblr has gathered all the Pinvengers (DevA, Fanfic, Wattpad, Pinterest, and Instagram) into a room. She is pacing back and forth in front of them as they stare at her, confused.

DevA: So is there a reason you called us all here or...

Tumblr: I'm glad you asked. Ladies, today is a day we will mark down in history books. Does anyone know why?

Instagram: I know! Today is the first time January 31st has been... I've got nothing.

Tumblr: [imitates games how buzzer sound] Nope. None of you will guess this.

Pinterest: Then just tell us! I love good news!

Tumblr: Ladies, today is the day we crown the 2,700th ship added to the official ship catalog.

Pinterest: Yay! [starts clapping]

Instagram: I thought it was 2,683 the last time I checked?

Fanfic: There's been a lot of new fandom content this month. But my list was only at 2,698. What gives?

Tumblr: First, that couple we saw in Walmart last week fighting over the box of cereal? OTP. Secondly, I think Facebook's been lying to us about something.

DevA: She always lies. What is it this time?

Tumblr: I think she's still in love with Myspace.

The rest of the Pinvengers gasp, except for Wattpad.

Instagram: Oh my god...

Pinterest: I ship it!

DevA: How did you find out?

Tumblr: So, I was looking for the bathroom, when I overheard Facebook yelling at Myspace.

Wattpad: That doesn't seem like very ship-worthy behavior.

Tumblr: Yes, but it's all in what they were yelling about! Facebook wants to tell us! Myspace is just worried this will make her look like a freak, since, y'know, it's a human and a ghost?

Instagram: So like a paranormal version of The Bee Movie?

Tumblr, DevA, Fanfic, and Pinterest start to laugh, but Wattpad doesn't.

Wattpad: I don't know, guys. Are we sure you're not jumping to conclusions? This sounds a lot like what someone might think about one of my fights with Wikipedia.

Tumblr: No, no, no... Wattney, you and that prick were doomed from the start. But Facespace? This is like the extreme version of the enemies to lovers trope! And they were major enemies, so that means they're going to be major...

Wattpad: How can we be sure?

Tumblr: I'll run a test. I know somehow I can prove to you that they love each other.

DevA: How are you going to do that? Even if they are dating, they'll never admit it, especially not to us.

Tumblr: That's why I need a plan. Hm... [thinking] I've got it! This lawyer says they need more information about Facebook's early life? I met her literally 3 months before she killed him! I can go up to testify with new information, and just completely drag her! If he truly cares about her, Myspace will come to her defense. It's fool-proof!

Wattpad: I don't know, I just keep picturing this as me and Wikipedia....

Tumblr: But it's not you and Wikipedia! You said it yourself, your relationships are different. Besides, if it helps, don't think of this as a real life couple. Think of it as Tessa and Harry.

Wattpad: I guess...

Tumblr: Good. Now, let's get back to the trial. It must be one hour by now.

*

The trial continues. Facebook stands up and addresses the gallery.

Facebook: If anyone has from the audience has any additional information relating to the trial, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Lawyer: That's not how a trial wo—

Facebook: I know that's not how a trial works! Shut up!

Facebook pauses for a moment and looks at the gallery. No one gets up.

Facebook: Thank you. I—

Tumblr gets up and walks forward.

Facebook: What are you doing?

Tumblr: Giving the people what they deserve to know.

Tumblr takes the microphone off the stand and walks around, talking into it.

Tumblr: Facebook Maria Jones, if that is your real name, is the most vile person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. She's ghastly, she has no respect for authority whatsoever, and she acts like she's better than anyone else just because she's popular. If I were to give an award for most annoying air-headed millennial stereotype, it would go to her, and I can barely stomach the thought that I'm the same species as her! 

Lawyer: Ms. Tumblr, can we stay on-topic, please?

Tumblr: I'm getting there! She literally ruins people's lives, both in death and in bullying. She's treated me like crap for the past ten years, and because of what? I only tried to help you! And if you think this is just because we're competition, you're wrong. She constantly says hateful things towards her friends, and whenever I try to defend them, it's always "Tumblr is such a jerk"!

Judge: Is this leading somewhere?

Tumblr: I'm almost done! Shut up! Anyway, I can't imagine what it must have been like for Myspace, being tied to that woman for 4 years of pure psychological torture, and to top it all off, she lured him behind their old high school, behind the bleachers where they first met, and stabbed him in the back with a rusty old kitchen knife. Seriously, I've got to hand it to you, Myspace, you really put up with a lot of shit.

Myspace: Oh it wasn't all bad. Besides, I have what I want now.

Tumblr: I rest my case. 

Tumblr winks at Wattpad and sits down.

Lawyer: Wow. So much new information contained in that last paragraph, especially about Myspace being stabbed behind the school. Tell me, how did you learn of this?

Tumblr: I mean, it's just a headcanon, but I guess I can elaborate more on it if you'd like?

Facebook: Oh no.

Lawyer: This brings forth a whole treasure trove of convicting information! Your honor, may I request we put this trial on hold until tomorrow? I'll need some time to sort this out.

Judge: Alright. Be here tomorrow at 8 a.m. to complete the trial. Trial dismissed!

The websites begin to leave, but before Tumblr can, Facebook stops her.

Facebook: What the hell was that?

Tumblr: I'm just informing the jury of how it is to have to come into work and see your stupid face everyday.

Facebook: Well could you knock it off? You're going to get me arrested! Besides, it doesn't matter to the case what you think.

Tumblr: What I think? Oh young, naïve Facey, how I admire your blissful ignorance. This is what everyone thinks about you. And btw, it's an honor to be somewhere where my headcanons are appreciated.

Tumblr turns and leaves. Facebook looks shocked and hurt.