Sehun's POV

"So you all ended up getting kicked out?" Kyungsoo asks

I'm now meeting up with kyungsoo at bar after being kicked out from Baekhyun's house .

"Yeah.. he totally started yelling at us and kicked us out"

"I bet he was shocked too... being with the ones he's getting involved.."

"He is just very loveable person"

"Sunbae.."

"Kyungsoo ya.. did he tell you that he confessed to me?"

"Not yet... did you reject him?"

"Imm"

"Why? You like him... right?"

"........I do... I like him a lot"

"But.... Then why? Why sunbae? I just don't get you. Baekhyun will be the happiest person on earth if he's with you.. and you know that.."

"That's what we... think of baekhyun..."

"What do you mean?"

"Kyungsoo... didn't you always know this? That ... baekhyun has always ... always have chanyeol in his heart"

"Sunbae..."

"Baekhyun has never hated or resent Chanyeol since then. He was just confused... shocked... scared...."

"No.. sunbae. We should never let him go be with chanyeol again"

"Kyungsoo ya.... Let's... stop controlling him. Let him make his decision on his own now"

"No! Chanyeol will hurt him again"

"They were both young and immature. For Park chanyeol to confidently appear beside baekhyun again... he must also have faith in himself that he could treat baekhyun better and... he also have faith in baekhyun that ... baekhyun still loves him a lot"

"Sunbae..... when you love him a lot... how can you...."

"Kyungsoo ya... Love comes in many forms. And I just want Baekhyun to clear his thoughts, he confident with what he really wants .... And be with the one he has always loved... after all these times..."

"How can you sure that baekhyun still love chanyeol"

"There is always this... some kind of bound between them. I could feel it. It's something I cannot have with Baekhyun even after years.... They are ready to forgive each other... love each other again and... pay for their own mistakes with love again. It's just... Baekhyun keeps denying his own feelings and mistaken my presence as his description of love"

"Aren't you.... Hurt?"

"But I think I would hurt more if I accept him in my life while he was yearning for his true love."

"Sunbae..."

"That's why he should start seeing the right thing that his heart wants before ..... more people are getting hurt.. including himself... Park chanyeol and.. Kim Namjun."

"How about you? Don't you worry about yourself?"

"I'm used to staying by myself... by my family needs... if I could care Baekhyun as my younger brother.. my hoobae... I'm satisfied."

"You are such an old man..." kyungsoo shed some tears

"Aigoo... you and baekhyun are really weak in heart right? Kyungsoo ya... please find your happiness too. In life... forgiveness are needed sometimes too.. hmm?"

"What is that..so irony"

"Let's support each other as we always do kyungsoo ya. I will one day find someone who I can love without feeling guilty"

"You think you are a hero for sacrificing like this?"

"I just want to be someone who support baekhyun in his every decision.... If I can keep doing that.... I'm fine"

"I thought you were a hollow but you are just a twisted informal one"

"That's how you describe your sunbae huh"

"Yeah... too stupid yet... very logical..."

Ah.... It hurts...
My own decision hurts.
One day.. at midnight, I might wake up all of sudden and regret the decision I'm making now.

How has someone becomes so important in my life for me to sacrifice myself for them?
I hope Baekhyun knows... how much he's to me.

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Baekhyun's POV

Ah.... The whole day was.... A chaos.

They three didn't insist on moving an inch until I kick them out
And these medicines are not helping me at all.
The fever hasn't gone down yet.

I just wanna keep sleeping for days....
Why did sunbae come? Because I didn't come to office without announcing? Or he expected that I would be sick?

And for chanyeol too... to rush to my place during working hours .....

And Namjun ssi too... I didn't have a chance to chat with him...he must be feeling all overthinking.

*sigh*

I should get over with my feelings for sunbae.
I don't want to burden him anymore...... I don't want to see him getting all uncomfortable with me.
I realised that I have been insulting his pure brotherly love with my stupid feelings.

*cough*

Ahhh... bad seasonal flu ...

*Ding Dong*

Whaaaaaaa!!!! Again?
Who's this?
My bell ringing has become my nightmare ... I should secretly move out and live somewhere no one would ever visit
<a:n: as if no one is stalking you so yeah🌝>

I get out of my bed and go open the door

What is this déjà vu? Just like this morning....

"Hey..."

"Why... are you here again?"

It's park chanyeol .... Again

"Why? I'm worried .. god dammit" He says and get into my house ... or barge 😏

"Well... I suffer usually like this every year so.."

"Did you eat? Dinner?"

"I didn't have appetite so don't force me .. I ate some bread around 4 or 5"

"Okay.. Let me know if you need something... I will sleep on couch so go rest now"

"Woah woah... Mr. Park ssi.. nobody is sleeping *cough* on couch"

"Then want me to sleep on bed with you?"

"Hell no"

"Then couch... deal done"

"Deal done? Excuse me this is my house Mr. Park" I say

"Yeah I'm aware of that" he says as he takes off his coat and sits on the couch "I did have a rush day.. *sigh* just shout my name if you need something"

"Ya!"

"Very lively for a patient"

"Go back hom....." he pulls me and I falls into his arms

"Just tell me if you wanna cuddle or I don't mind if you use me too" he says as he slowly and gently pat my head

"You are acting weird..."

"How?"

"As if you still like me ... a lot"

He cups my face with his two big hands and "I like you a lot .... But I don't want my feelings to burden you"

I need him.... I need chanyeol..... or is this feeling real?
As sunbae said.... Anyone would do?

Or.... Is that okay to keep using chanyeol?

"You know I like sehun sunbae right?"

He lets go my face and move an inch away

"Yeah.. I know that. Just like you used to like Ssaem. That same expression of yours... may be I'm fated to watch you fall in love with one after another" he says

That word makes me feel guilty... as those memories of highschool pops up.
And how chanyeol and me fell in love...
How we had a great time...
How innocent we love each other... promises we made...

"Chanyeol... can you... stay with me .... Tonight?"

"Yeah... I'm so go and sleep peacefully"

"No... I mean this.." I say and pulls him into a kiss... I get onto his lap and kiss him

Can I forgive him?
Will he hurt me again?
Can we be happy like those days again?

What if he hurts me again?
What if.... He cheats.....

"Haaa~~ ch...chanyeol..." I let out a soft moan ...

"B...bambi..... stop grinding down there..." he says

"Carry me.... Let's go to bedroom..."

"Are you sure?"

"Imm..."

At this point... I don't know ... it may be a feeling of love for him... or a feeling of heartbroken from sunbae....
Or somewhere in between

Most importantly.... I was lonely...
I'm the worst.
The worst

Chanyeol carries me to bedroom and drops me onto bed

As he hovers on top of me... and starts kissing my neck....
His hot breathes ... I can feel on my neck.. and his warm tongue....

"Haa~baekhyun....." he says as his cold hand slides under my shirt

*Tremble*

'Hear me? You.. are mine
.
.
.
.
.
Mine...... you are mine....
.
.
.
.
.
.
Fuck....I love you.....shit.... I will cum.... Fuckkkk' - force scene from 55>

"S....S...stoppppp!!!! S...stop!" I scream..

I can't... I can't stop trembling...... and..

"Baekhyun... you are ... crying.."

"*sob* please.... Stop..." I am scared.... I.....

"You... hate me that much?"

"Stop....."

He get out of bed and covers me with blanket

"Is it because..... that force sex...? Last 6 years ago?" He asks

My hands and body are kept shaking.... I.... Fuckkkk

"I... I'm sorry baekhyun.... I really have nothing to say more than.... Sorry.... I'm sorry... rest well" he says and get out of my bedroom

Park chanyeol... what was that look on your face?
Why do you look so sad and.... Look like you are about to cry?

And.....why...

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