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DECEMBER ARRIVED, bringing with it more snow and a positive avalanche of homework for the fifth year. Este and Draco's prefect duties also became more and more onerous as Christmas approached. They were called upon to supervise the decoration of the castle ("You try putting up tinsel when Peeves has got the other end and is trying to strangle you with it," said Este), to watch over first and second years spending their break times inside because of the bitter cold ("And they're cheeky little snotrags, you know, we definitely weren't that rude when we were in the first year," Este scoffed), and to patrol the corridors in shifts with Argus Filch, who suspected that the holiday spirit might show itself in an outbreak of wizard duels ("He's got dung for brains, that one," Este complained furiously). They were so busy that Este's nose often bled now.

Este had done her best to avoid Harry. She felt terrible, guilt was knawing at her and she was far too scared to face Harry in person. He had gotten banned from Quidditch, for a lifetime. She had been walking the hallways one evening a few days before the holidays and she stopped. Harry was blankly walking towards her, deep in thought. He didn't even notice Este──and to Este, it seemed like he was ignoring her, but she realized how wrong she was when he crashed right into her. The two of them toppled, Este felt slightly dizzy on the floor and as she regained her composure, Harry looked stunned──he had fallen on top of her.

"D'you mind?" Este asked, in amusement. "You're crushing my ribs, Harry."

Harry scrambled off her, standing up and offering her a hand. "Sorry," he mumbled as he hoisted her up.

"It's alright," Este said, brushing her long hair out of her face, "For a moment I thought you were ignoring me."

Harry turned to her in surprise, "Why would you think that?"

Este shrugged, "Thought you might be angry about the Quidditch situation..."

Harry deflated, "Oh... It's alright, Este. It wasn't really your fault──" he paused──"Though, that buldger you sent me was really painful."

Este twirled her rings. "Sorry, I was a bit caught up."

Harry laughed, "I realized."

They were now walking down the halls, side by side. "You seemed really out of it," Este said, "Was it because of a girl?"

Harry went peony and Este's heart lurched, "How──How did you know?"

Este composed herself, "Well, I sort of just guessed... So, who's the lucky girl?"

Harry paused for a moment, "Cho."

Este looked at him quizzically, "Cho as in, Cho Chang the Ravenclaw seeker who was dating Cedric Diggory?"

Harry nodded.

"Did you guys kiss?"

Harry nodded again.

Este's heart jolted uncomfortably, "Well, how was it?"

"Wet."

Este laughed, unsure if she was disgusted or amused. "Wet?"

Harry went redder, "Because she was crying..."

"Oh. Well, you can't be that bad at kissing," Este said, trying to comfort him.

"Who knows, I might be dreadful at it," Harry sighed.

Este snorted, "Practice makes perfect, Potter. I'm sure you can find girls willing to kiss the boy who lived. Hey! Maybe make a little poster and I'll hang one in the Slytherin common room."

Harry wrinkled his nose, "Don't even think about it, Black."

Este laughed she then paused, "I'm spending Christmas with him," she said finally. Her voice was barely above a whisper. Harry stopped dead in his tracks as he turned to stare at her──his bright jade eyes burning holes into her soul. "He... He wanted a second chance──a redemption and... I guess... I want to try again too. It's stupid. I've been so nervous about it lately. I'm terrified it might be like Summer all over again..." She stopped her rambling. He was still staring at her, "Sorry," she said at last. "I've just been a wreck lately and now i'm rambling like a lunatic."

Harry placed a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it soothingly, "It's alright," he said, "I'm glad you're giving it a second try. Maybe we'll actually be friends."

Este shrugged and smiled weakly, "Maybe," they continued top walk side by side, in complete silence until their paths seperated.

Harry grinned at Este, "See you around, Black."

Este smirked back, "See you, Potter."

She turned for the dungeons.

♰

The train ride was quicker than Este had imagined, she sat with Atlas and Draco, but the three cousins shared no words with one another. Este looked out of her window the entire trip and watched the sights change like a quick-motion video. Getting off the scarlet train, Este and Atlas began to leave the platform first after bidding the Malfoys a respectful hello. They walked down the paths of London until they stopped at Grimmauld Place. Atlas looked at Este. "You sure you want to do this, Es?"

Este nodded, "I need to do this, Ati."

Atlas nodded as they turned back to look at Number 12 Grimmauld Place which had now miraculously appeared. They entered and were surprised to see it so nosy... so cozy. People were bustling around, happy and cheery with the holiday spirit. "I never imagined Grimmauld Place to be so homely," Atlas said in amusement, remembering the coldness and hollowness he grew up in.

Sirius appeared, his face grinning and bright with excitement, "How good it is to see you, Kiddo!"

Este gave him a small smile, "It's good to see you too, Sirius." Sirius opened his arms for a hug and Este glanced at Atlas before hugging her father. When they released, Este introduced Sirius to Atlas. "Sirius, this is Atlas, my cousin."

Sirius nodded as he shook Atlas' hand, "I've heard lots about you."

"Same here," Atlas said coolly, he turned to Este and pecked her forehead. "Don't do anything dumb. I'll be in Switzerland." He went to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of Floo Powder.

"I love you Atlas!" Este called

"Don't be stupid, Cousin."

As Atlas was consumed by the flames Este chuckled, "He even used our pet names," she joked. Her cousin hated worldly affection. Or, Affirmations of affection. Atlas preferred to show his love instead of just saying it. He was always a walk that walk, and not a talk that talk. She turned to Sirius, "Why are the Weasley's here?" she questioned, slightly crestfallen.

Sirius' smile faded a bit as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Mr. Weasley... He's been attacked."

Este shuddered, "What do you mean, attacked?"

"Mr. Weasley was attacked... by a snake," Sirius breathed deeply, "Voldemort's snake."

Este paled, "Is──Is he alright?"

Sirius nodded, "He's alright now."

Este sighed in relief, "That's good..."

Sirius led her to the kitchen, "So, how have you been?"

Este shrugged half-heartedly, "School's been rough... Especially with that foul bitch."

Sirius laughed as he sat her down, "What would you like for lunch? I'm sure you must be starving!"

Este nodded, "Uh, anything really. Whatever Kreacher's willing to make, I suppose."

"Oh, no! I thought I would cook," Sirius said brightly.

Este raised a suspicious eyebrow, "And, you aren't trying to murder me, right?"

Sirius laughed, "I'm a good cook, I swear! I used to cook for your mum and my friends!"

Este smiled, following Sirius into the Kitchen, "Then I suppose what your specialty is," she commented. "What did you cook?"

Sirius rubbed his hands together as he prepared the ingredients, "Oh, I make a mean shepherd's pie, a pretty solid curry, can't cook eggs though──" he shuddered──"The one thing I can't cook with."

Este snorted, "Eggs are the only I know how to cook."

"Ironic, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

There was an interval of awkward silence between the two. "So, I think I'll make a curry. Are you alright with that?"

Este nodded, "Yeah──sounds good."

Sirius began to cook and Este watched him silently. He was humming to that song──Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. Este wondered if that was what her life would've been──sitting in the kitchen, watching her dad cook curry for lunch, maybe reading a book while she waited. Maybe they'd sit and chat while they ate. And the more she could see what her life could've been, the more bitterness she felt──she and Sirius could've been so happy, but Sirius was stupid, and rash──he gave that all away and left Este to the crows.

Sirius finished cooking maybe ten minutes later. He handed her the plate, "Curry made with love," he told her jokingly.

Este stared at the plain curry──the sad little veggies cut up alongside the beef, mixed together with the thick curry, and then slapped messily on a bed of rice. Her eyes watered a bit──she didn't understand why though, this maybe was the shittiest-looking meal she had ever seen. All her life she had eaten the most luxurious and gourmet foods they had to offer. But Sirius' plain curry had triggered something within her, as she began to dig in, she felt more and more tears stream down her face. Sirius' food gave her something all the other meals she'd ever eaten had never──comfort. The curry was so comforting and special──and it wasn't necessarily the taste, but it was the fact he had cooked──he had cooked with love and warmth, something all her other meals lacked.

"It's really good, Sirius."

Sirius grinned, not noticing her tears, "I knew you'd love it."

Este nodded wordlessly, wiping her tears.

"Hey, Kiddo," Sirius said suddenly as Este perked up, "Listen, The Weasley kids have told me that you and Harry have been getting closer... And I was hoping maybe you'd be able to speak to him──If you don't want to it's totally fine──"

Este shrugged, "No I'll talk to him. What's wrong?" Sirius told her everything the Weasleys told him, Este nodded and finished up her food. "I'll go and find him," she said, smiling slightly.

Sirius smiled at her, "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Este nodded at Sirius one last time before leaving the kitchen and making her way up the stairs, "The boy tried to run away, you know."

Este stopped and turned to face Phineas Nigellus. "Phineas, what do you mean?"

"That Potter boy──tried to run away. He thought he could keep everyone safe."

"That's rather stupid."

"It is isn't it," Phineas gave her a cold, condescending look, "Well, might as well try your luck, young one."

"Thank you, Phineas," Este said as she passed him and stopped at Harry's bedroom, "Harry? Hello?"

Ron Weasley appeared, "He won't see anyone──he's been grouchy ever since──"

Ginny appeared as well, "He's been grouchy ever since we got here."

Hermione also came into view, "I wanted to speak to him... But you know..."

Before Este could reply, the door swung open, Harry was positively beaming, "Este!" he greeted happily, sweeping her up into a hug, startling everyone including herself.

"Are──Are we on hugging terms already?"

Harry blushed and put her down.

Ron's mouth was agape and Ginny was giggling madly. "I've been trying to get him to open the door and chat with me for days now and she shows up and get him to open up just like that?" Ron asked incredulously.

Ginny giggled, "C'mon Ron," she said, dragging Ron back into the room they had come out of.

When Ginny, Hermione, and Ron were gone, Harry grabbed her hand and pulled her into his room, "I'm so glad to see you," he said.

"I'm glad to see you too," Este smiled, her smile faded, "But why are you shutting everyone out? And why did Phineas Nigellus just tell me you tried to run away?"

Harry glowered, "Long story."

Este shrugged, "I have time."

Harry began to explain everything to her and how he feared he was being possessed by Voldemort. "You can't have been possessed," Este said surely.

"How do you know?"

"I don't know, but I know someone who would," Este got up and opened the door, "Oi! Weaslette! C'mere for a second."

Ginny appeared, "What do you want, Black?"

"Weren't you possessed by You-Know-Who a few years ago? How does it feel?"

"Well, can you remember everything you've been doing?" Ginny asked, turning to Harry, "Are there big blank periods where you don't know what you've been up to?"

Harry stayed silent for a moment, "No," he said.

"Then You-Know-Who hasn't ever possessed you," said Ginny simply. "When he did it to me, I couldn't remember what I'd been doing for hours at a time. I'd find myself somewhere and not know how I got there."

Hermione and Ron had appeared, "That dream I had about your dad and the snake, though —"

"Harry, you've had these dreams before," Hermione said. "You had flashes of what Voldemort was up to last year."

"This was different," said Harry, shaking his head. "I was inside that snake. It was like I was the snake. . . . What if Voldemort somehow transported me to London — ?"

"One day," said Hermione, sounding thoroughly exasperated, "you'll read Hogwarts, A History, and perhaps that will remind you that you can't Apparate or Disapparate inside Hogwarts. Even Voldemort couldn't just make you fly out of your dormitory, Harry."

"You didn't leave your bed, mate," said Ron. "I saw you thrashing around in your sleep about a minute before we could wake you up. . . ."

Este beamed, "See, I told you." Harry started pacing up and down the room again, thinking. What they were all saying was not only comforting, it made sense. . . . Este grabbed a sandwich from the plate and handed it to Harry without really thinking he took it and crammed it hungrily into his mouth.

He stopped, "What are you doing here?" he asked, turning to Hermione. "I've come for Christmas." There was snow in her hair and her face was pink with cold. "Mum and Dad are a bit disappointed, but I've told them that everyone who's serious about the exams is staying at Hogwarts to study. They want me to do well, they'll understand."

"I came on the Knight Bus," said Hermione airily, pulling off her jacket before Harry had time to speak. "Dumbledore told me what had happened first thing this morning, but I had to wait for term to end officially before setting off. Umbridge is already livid that you lot disappeared right under her nose, even though Dumbledore told her Mr. Weasley was in St. Mungo's, and he'd given you all permission to visit."

Harry nodded, finally looking more uplifted after their chat then they heard Sirius tramping past their door toward Buckbeak's room, singing "God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs" at the top of his voice.

♰

Sirius' delight at having the house full, and especially at having Harry and Este back, was infectious. He was no longer their sullen host of the summer; now he seemed determined that everyone should enjoy themselves as much, if not more than they would have done at Hogwarts, and he worked tirelessly in the run-up to Christmas Day, cleaning and decorating with their help so that by the time they all went to bed on Christmas Eve the house was barely recognizable. The tarnished chandeliers were no longer hung with cobwebs but with garlands of holly and gold and silver streamers; magical snow glittered in heaps over the threadbare carpets; a great Christmas tree, obtained by Mundungus and decorated with live fairies, blocked the family tree from view; and even the stuffed elf heads on the hall wall wore Father Christmas hats and beards. Este awoke on Christmas morning to find a pile of presents that covered almost her entire floor.

From her group of friends, she received a plethora of new things. Atlas bought her a new charm for her bracelet; ever since they were eleven, Atlas had bought her a bracelet, and every Christmas or birthday, he would gift her a new charm. Pansy bought her a trunk's worth of makeup, the Greengrass sisters each gifted her a new pair of shoes, Mattheo sent her a watch, Theodore gifted her new earrings, Blaise gave her a new necklace, and Draco sent her a dress. From her Aunt Narcissa, she received some new pajamas, dresses, and swimsuits. Lucius gifted her a stack of dragon-leather journals all embossed with her initials.

She was surprised to see she had received gifts from the Order too. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley gave her a very pretty hand-knitted jumper and some mince pies, Tonks gifted her a pair of sunglasses and something that she assumed her aunt Andromeda made──a homemade heating pad made with rice and scented with lavender that was enchanted to stay at the perfect temperature, and it also had her initials embroidered onto it. Lupin gifted her a set of excellent books about Astronomy, Potions, Transfiguration, and Charms which had superb, moving color illustrations.

Ron surprisingly sent her a gift too, a box of Bertie's Botts Every Flavor Beans, the Weasley twins gave her dung bombs, Ginny gifted her a broom servicing kit, Hermione gifted her a few new muggle magazines, and Harry gave her a sweater──that smelled strongly of fresh-cut grass, treacle tart, and pumpkin juice with a note hastily attached to it.

Sorry for the last-minute gift... It's mine but I've only worn it once and it doesn't really fit me anymore. Feel free to yell at me for the shit gift.

──H.

Este didn't know how to feel.

The door opened, startling her. "Did I startle you?" it was Sirius.

Este placed a hand over her chest, "Merlin, yes Sirius! Knock next time."

"Good haul," Sirius commented, gesturing to the expensive gifts that lay around her room. His eyes landed on the sweater, "Who is that?"

"A boy's," Este said carefully, slipping the note into her pocket and pulling the sweater over her head.

Sirius sighed and shook his head, "Oh Merlin give me the strength──do you like him?"

Este shrugged, "I dunno."

"What kind of answer is, 'I dunno' Este?" Sirius frowned

"It's complicated, Sirius."

"What isn't complicated these days?" Sirius grinned, he approached her and opened his palm──inside was a golden heart-shaped locket. He opened the locket and Este gasped at what was inside. It was a picture of her family──Este, her mother, Rhiannon and Sirius. On the other side was a picture of two babies, crying while their fathers attempted to pose for the photo. James Potter was holding Este and Sirius held Harry. "My favorite pictures," Sirius smiled fondly, "James loved you as a baby, he used to always hold you and carry you around." He handed her the locket and pulled out a second present wrapped up nicely. "The other photos are in here."

Este hastily wiped her tears, "Thank you, Sirius──Oh! and here," she handed him a small gift and when he opened it, he frowned, "They──They were letters and drawings I did when I was younger," Este informed him, "I hid them from Grandmother... They're for you well a few are addressed to mum."

Sirius choked back tears, "Wow... Thank you, Estele," he beamed, pulling her into a hug and once they released from the hug, Sirius helped her put on the locket, "C'mon, let's go find the others," he said as they left Este's bedroom and made their way to the basement. Mrs. Weasley was standing at the stove and sounded as though she had a bad head cold when she wished them Merry Christmas, and Este averted her eyes.

Hermione, Ron, and Harry were doing something and as they closed the door to Kreacher's little room, Hermione said, "He'll find it later, that'll be fine. . . ."

"Come to think of it," said Sirius, "has anyone actually seen Kreacher lately?"

"I haven't seen him since the night we came back here," said Harry. "You were ordering him out of the kitchen."

"Yeah . . ." said Sirius, frowning. "You know, I think that's the last time I saw him, too. . . . He must be hiding upstairs somewhere. . . ."

"He couldn't have left, could he?" said Harry. "I mean, when you said 'out,' maybe he thought you meant, get out of the house?"

"No, no, house elves can't leave unless they're given clothes, they're tied to their family's house," said Este. Harry looked at her for the first time and blushed at the sight of her in his sweater.

"They can leave the house if they really want to," Harry said, shaking himself out of it. "Dobby did, he left the Malfoys' to give me warnings two years ago. He had to punish himself afterward, but he still managed it."

Este looked at Sirius, who looked slightly disconcerted for a moment, then said, "I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something. . . . Of course, he might have crawled into the airing cupboard and died. . . . But I mustn't get my hopes up. . . ."

Fred, George, and Ron laughed; Hermione, however, looked reproachful.

Once they had had their Christmas lunch, the Weasleys and Harry and Hermione were planning to pay Mr. Weasley another visit, escorted by Mad-Eye and Lupin, which left Sirius and Este alone in the house. They spent their day playing gobstones, wizards chess, making gingerbread houses, and bonding over their mutual distaste for Lucius Malfoy, while downing hot chocolate and cookies. Sirius had even told her about her mother, it's just that, Sirius never went down to the gritty details, something Este was dying for.

Este hadn't noticed it, but time flew rather quickly and in a quick few hours, everyone had returned and Kreacher, it transpired, had been lurking in the attic. Sirius said he had found him up there, covered in dust, no doubt looking for more relics of the Black family to hide in his cupboard. Though Sirius seemed satisfied with this story, it made Este uneasy. Kreacher seemed to be in a better mood on his reappearance, his bitter muttering had subsided somewhat, and he submitted to orders more docilely than usual, though once or twice Este caught the house-elf staring avidly at her, always looking quickly away when he saw that Este had noticed.

Este did not mention her vague suspicions to Sirius, whose cheerfulness was evaporating fast now that Christmas was over. As the date of their departure back to Hogwarts drew nearer, he became more and more prone to what Mrs. Weasley called "fits of the sullens," in which he would become taciturn and grumpy, often withdrawing to Buckbeak's room for hours at a time. His gloom seeped through the house, oozing under doorways like some noxious gas so that all of them became infected by it. Este did not want to leave Sirius all alone again with only Kreacher for company. In fact, for the first time in her life, she was not looking forward to returning to Hogwarts.

Going back to school would mean placing herself once again under the tyranny of Dolores Umbridge, who had no doubt managed to force through another dozen decrees in their absence. Then there was every likelihood that their burden of homework would increase as the exams drew even nearer; Dumbledore remained as remote as ever; in fact, if it had not been for her friends and Quidditch, Este might've stayed at Grimmauld Place.