​​​​​

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes. / I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this / I hosted parties and starved my body / Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss / The jokes weren't funny, I took the money / My friends from home don't know what to say / I looked around in a blood-soaked gown / And I saw something they can't take away / Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned / Everything you lose is a step you take / So make the friendship bracelets / Take the moment and taste it / You've got no reason to be afraid / You're on your own, kid / Yeah, you can face this / You're on your own, kid / You always have been──────────TAYLOR SWIFT, You're On Your Own, Kid.

​​​​​​​

​​​​​​​

​​​​​​​ ESTE BLACK HATED BEING ON HER OWN────her childhood, built around Walburga Black's last-ditch attempt at her redemption arch and years and years of trying to build connections. She did everything she was supposed to do──she played it cool with the best ( her friends, the top of the cannibalistic pureblood-mania-bullshit chain ). And during Hogwarts, she gave her blood, sweat, and tears to be perfect. She hosted the parties, starving her body so that she could fit into the latest couture gown. She did everything on her own. She was always on her own. And yet even when her mass murderer father, Sirius Black reached out to her hoping to rekindle their bond──she felt like she was doing all the work on her own. Este yearned for Sirius' love and affection──yet everything was always orbiting around Harry Potter. And even when the summer went away, Este's yearning stayed. It didn't make sense to her──she was always on her own, yet she wanted to be loved──she didn't want to be lonely. Being alone and Loneliness were different things──Being alone meant you simply didn't need people, you were fulfilled on your own──Loneliness was an emptiness──a void. A dreadful dreadful thing.

ATLAS BLACK LIKED BEING ALONE──Not in the sense he was lonely, of course. He just preferred he be alone. He had his friends who orbited his existence like the sun and the little planets. He didn't need anyone to feel fulfilment──maybe after all the years of being so alone, he had manipulated himself into believing he didn't need people anymore. Atlas had long devoided depending on people──instead, he allowed everyone to depend on him──like how the skies depended on his namesake's back for all eternity. Atlas was a self-sufficient machine that studied, ate, slept, and went to the bathroom whenever he needed it. Este depended on Atlas a lot──he was her rock, the pillar that kept her house of cards from tumbling──he was the support system that was solely responsible for keeping her from destroying herself. It was almost like Atlas was built for Este to depend on──perhaps raised that way by Walburga herself. And Atlas found himself oddly depending on Este as well. Este made him laugh, made him smile, made him angry, and in return, he kept Este safe and steady.

ESTE BLACK'S FIFTEENTH YEAR BROUGHT HER MANY NEW THINGS──A father, a new friendship, and many losses. But a wise woman once said: Everything you lose is a step you take. So, Este Black will make the friendship bracelets, and take the moment and taste it. She had no more reason to be afraid──the scary news was, she was on her own now. But the cool news was, Este Black was on her fucking own now.

​​​​​​​