trigger warning: this chapter contains actions that might be a triggering factor for the readers. please read with caution.

The whole room went to a standstill. Adrien's hands were still tightly gripped on Felix's collar, his breathing shallow and fast, and Felix's cold, lifeless eyes were still piercing into my soul.

"You're lying," Adrien's breath hitched, clenching his jaw. "I could never do that to her."

Felix lets out a laugh, then, thank the gods, turned his eyes back to Adrien's. "Oh, I know!"

"But," Felix pauses, stealing a hesitant glance on Adrien's fists on his collar, "well, I didn't really give you a choice."

"Choice? What choice?" Adrien says through gritted teeth, and by looking at his eyes, I suddenly felt the urge to pull him away again. My hands shook along with the rest of my lower body in fear. Adrien like this instantly made me relive the memories I had in the dark alley with him which made my chest feel tighter. I placed a shaking hand on my chest, trying to calm myself down when my vision started to blur and when it started getting harder to breathe.

Felix lets out another chuckle before saying, "Well, it was either her or . . ." his voice trailed off.

My ears blocked everything that I was supposed to hear. My vision blurred everything that I was supposed to see. My knees instantly buckled, and I felt myself falling to the ground, my hand on my chest, gasping desperately for air even when I wasn't drowning. Thoughts. Endless thoughts, memories, words, the feeling of being touched by those drunk men without my consent, the touch of their hands full of malice, the look in their eyes as they watched me like I was their prey, the fear of being abandoned, the feeling of helplessness as if I were already done for.

Terrified. I was terrified.

The Agreste mansion disappeared and I was immediately thrown into the dark alley again. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

Anywhere but here.

I folded both of my knees to my chest and placed my hands on both of my ears to block out the words that ruined me. Rocking back and forth, I try to sing to myself, to mutter words of comfort, but what came out was a plea for help.

"Anywhere but here," I whispered, tears streaming down my face, still rocking myself back and forth, closing my eyes to try and get away from the vision of the dark place. "Anywhere but here. Please. Please. I want to go away. Help me. Help me. Help me please."

After a while of muttering words, even I couldn't make them out. What am I saying? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I want to go away from here.

I heard voices. Familiar voices, but they made it worse. I don't know what they're trying to say. I want to know what they're saying but I'm terrified.

The last thing I heard was the sound of my harsh breathing, and the last thing I felt was my tears streaming down my face all the way to the collar of my shirt before everything turned completely black.

×××

I immediately regretted the choice of opening my eyes.

A bright light was the first thing I saw, which left me seeing dark spots in my vision for a few minutes. My eyes felt heavy, and my chest felt tight. My body unconsciously did a little shiver every time I inhale.

Slowly, muffled voices became clearer and clearer, and I waited until I could finally decipher the words.

"I thought she was going to be okay," I heard Alya speak softly to whoever she's talking to. "She's never had an attack for years."

Attack? Me?

I tried to reach into my brain to remember what happened after realizing that I was lying on a bed in a hospital. Where did I go? What on earth did I do that made me wake up here?

"She never told me anything about that," Nathaniel?

What happened to me?

Groaning, I try to sit up and take a better look around me. The room was small, its walls painted dirty white, with a small box-shaped television placed on top of a wooden cabinet. The bathroom door was right next to a small, circular table. There was a burnt siena colored sofa across my bed, and there sat Alya and Nathaniel, talking to a blonde guy with his back turned on me.

They didn't seem to notice that I've finally got up. I squinted my eyes to make my vision a little less blurry, and I realized who this blonde boy was.

". . . Adrien?" I whispered, my voice hoarse. My throat felt dry and I let out a loud cough. Ugh, I hate it when that happens, cause my throat turns itchy after.

He immediately turned around, his green eyes wide and frantic. He then runs towards me and places a hand on my back.

"Marinette, are you okay?" he asks, staring intensely into my eyes. He looked tired. His hair was messy, there were dark bags under his eyes, and his whole outfit was a wrinkled mess. "Fuck, obviously you're not okay. I'm sorry. Does your head hurt? Your tummy? Do you want anything? Food? Water? Chocolate? Do you need to go to the bathroom? I can carry you there—"

"—Adrien!" I cut him off, coughing again. "I'm okay! And I'm pretty sure you've got good enough eyesight to see I'm not injured anywhere so I don't need you to carry me to the bathroom. I do need some water though."

He nods and immediately runs to the table and tipped the pitcher to pour water on a glass. It didn't take long for me to notice that his hands were shaking, whether it was through fear, guilt, or anger, it didn't matter. He was also in pain.

A sharp throb went through my head, and I closed my eyes through the pain and took a deep breath.

Now I remember what happened.

Though it started to become vague after Adrien and Felix were on the floor screaming at each other, I didn't have to ask what happened after that. And I thought I was finally okay.

"Alya," I softly called, as Adrien ran back towards me and gave me the glass of water. "Did . . . did you tell my parents?"

"No," Alya replied, and I heard her shift in her seat. "I figured that you wouldn't like that."

Nodding slowly, I drank the glass and felt the cool water soothe my throat. "Thank you."

There was a long silence after that. Nathaniel looked slightly uncomfortable in his seat, but every time he sees me look at him he gives me a huge smile and a thumbs up, repeatedly asking if I'm alright. Adrien just leans his back on the wall with his arms crossed, deep in thought. Alya had her right elbow placed on the armrest of the sofa, her chin on her palm, and her eyes distant.

Everybody was just as tired. These past few days were emotionally excruciating.

"I have to go," Adrien speaks, breaking the silence. He stands straight and places his hands in his pockets. His sharp, green eyes turned to me as he walks closer towards me. "Will you be okay?"

I nod slowly. His eyes soften and he smiles, letting out a huge sigh as if he was holding his breath the entire time. There's no point in getting mad at him anymore. I don't have the strength to throw insults at this guy, and I already feel guilty enough for being too mean. He was a jerk; a huge asshole. But after meeting Felix, I realized that Adrien was an angel compared to that.

That doesn't mean I forgive Adrien, though. I don't even think of him as a friend. I just don't see the point in wasting my time arguing with him. My emotions and stress most likely led to the attack I had, and most causes of those are the intensified emotions I led to myself because of my continuous anger towards him.

But then again, even if I weren't mad at him all the time, he was still the cause of my trauma. My heart squeezed as I remembered how much of a burden I was to my family because therapy was so unnecessarily expensive.

Adrien then turns around and leaves without a word.

"Where's his cousin?" I asked. I didn't even want to say Felix's name out loud. His name felt like a curse, a bad jinx.

"He just stayed home," Nathaniel huffed with a disgusted look on his face. "Piece o' shit."

"Cousin? Who?" Alya asks as she raises an eyebrow, looking at both Nathaniel and me. "Adrien's?"

I nod, and Alya's mouth shaped an 'o', leaning her back on the sofa. I wasn't surprised that Felix preferred to stay home, since he obviously hates my guts for some reason.

Still, it was hard to process the fact that he and Adrien look so much alike. Everybody would assume that they're identical twins who are polar opposites rather than cousins. Felix's cold and calculating eyes appeared in my head, which sent shivers down my spine. Chloe was right. He was like Gabriel Agreste, but younger and much worse.

"Um, Mari," Nathaniel spoke after the long silence, which made me whip my head to his direction. "I know this isn't the right time to tell you this, but . . . I think it would be better if you didn't come to the premiere."

There it is again. Raising an eyebrow, I opened my mouth to speak. "Why? Is my presence that much of a bother to Penelope?"

Nathaniel's back straightened in shock as he frantically shook his head, eyes wide. "What? No! She already told you?"

Alya's eyes just went back and forth as we spoke. "Yeah."

"Oh. That's good. That's good," Nathaniel mumbled to himself, slouching back again, placing both of his hands against each other as he intensely stared at the floor.

"Can anyone please fucking tell me why?" I asked out in frustration, flailing my arms while rolling my eyes. Seriously, if they don't like me, they could've just told me. This is downright backstabbing right here.

Nathaniel bit his bottom lip, hesitating. "I don't think I should—"

"—don't tell her and I'll throw you off this window," Alya cuts him off, her eyes shooting daggers at Nathaniel. She seemed to be just as confused as I was, but knowing Alya, she was much more straightforward and headstrong about clearing this up.

"Y—yes, ma'am," Nathaniel instantly replied, slowly moving further away from her. "It's because Felix is gonna be there. Nobody knows why, but Gabriel insisted that he should be at the premiere. Most of us suspected that it might involve you, since . . . almost everyone knows that you and Gabriel aren't on good terms."

My breath shallowed. "Wait. They knew about Adrien and I?"

Nathaniel shakes his head, which made me breathe better again. "Fortunately, no. They only know that there's tension between Mr. Agreste and you, and nowhere deeper than that. We're asking you to not appear at the premiere to avoid drama and to protect you as well. We don't know what they have up in their sleeves."

Alya scoffs, crossing her legs. "Why does this sound like a movie with lame antagonists."

"Gabriel Agreste isn't the type to do physical damage. He's more focused on the psychological part. He knows exactly how to ruin a life without having to put a knife on their throat."

I form a bitter smile. "Tell me about it."

Silence.

So this is why Penelope said it was for the best. I misjudged her again. Even so, what could Felix and Gabriel be planning? What scheme would they have, so perfectly calculated and thoroughly discussed that no one would have enough time to even process half of it? Judging by how the others were acting, they were afraid of what these two powerful men might do. They could ruin the lives of thousands in just a snap.

"Anyway, promise me you won't come to the premiere, Mari," Nathaniel says, shifting in his seat. He couldn't look at me in the eyes, and I knew that a part of him wanted me to go. Maybe because it would've been a special night for me. It was finally my debut as an actress, and it was ironic how I wasn't even allowed to come.

"No," I spoke, and Nathaniel immediately lifted his head. His striking blue eyes finally locked with mine, emotions wild, like the ocean in a storm.

"What?"

"No," I repeated, not taking my eyes off of his. I'll stand my ground this time. "No, I can't promise that."

"Why? This is for your own good, Mari."

"You told me to stop running away from my problems. I've decided to finally take your advice, and now you want me to stop when I haven't even started yet?"

Nathaniel was now standing up from his sofa, and Alya's tough demeanor has now faded. She sat at the very edge of the sofa, looking at Nathaniel in awe and shock.

"Marinette. There's a time for facing problems, and there's a time for running away from them. This is absolutely not the best opportunity to start facing it."

"Who do you think you are to decide when it's time for me and when it's not?" I asked, and Nathaniel looked taken aback by what I just said. Even I was surprised by what came out of my mouth, but Alya had a small smile on her face, as if she was proud of me. I took that as a sign to continue.

"You've been a great friend, Nathaniel," I said, smiling. "But I get to choose for myself. This is my life, anyway, isn't it?"

All these years, I've been running away. Away from Adrien Agreste. Away from his father. Away from these problems that I could've finally had answers to if only I were a little stronger and faced them a little earlier. But hopefully it isn't too late.

I took a deep breath, then spoke once more. "I'm coming to the premiere. And whatever Gabriel Agreste and Felix have in store for me, I'll be more than ready to take it all."

After hearing those words come out of my mouth, it felt like a huge burden has been lifted off of my heart. I felt light, and I felt good.

Heck yeah.

Now this is some character development right here.