Here's the main event you've been wanting to see: "Antasma at Parties"!

https://youtu.be/0dbJHppgrHc

Another story I heard about myself, this one happened in high school. We had this teacher in high school whose kid went to our high school. His name was The Pirate Master and his daughter...

...Risky Boots went to our high school.  She was a senior when I was a senior, hence we had a good love connection. But the problem was is that at the time, The Pirate Master was an asshole. And one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you're an asshole. And Risky Boots took the opportunity and decided to throw a party...at the teacher's house!

Hooray! And everyone (Yours Truly included) around town heard about it and we all got up individually and thought: "Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place!" I walked into this party. Everyone I had ever met was there...

...and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world! People were drinking like it was the Civil War in the 19th century and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. 

We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.

I walked down into the basement.  They had a pool table in the basement.

One dude took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it clean in half. 

Another of my friends found out which room was The Pirate Master's and went upstairs and placed THIS FACE...

...as the wallpaper on his computer!  (There you go, Viger!)

So the party was going great!

I'm standing in the basement, and I'm holding a red cup (you've seen movies),  and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like, "something, something police." and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled: "Fuck Da Police! Fuck Da Police!"  And everyone else joined in.

Think about this for a sec: One hundred underage, drunk white children yelling "Fuck Da Police!" with the confidence of guys who have already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore, you know, like, "I'll serve my nickel, you come and take me!", confidence. But the people saying it were white children. The reason someone had said "something, something police" was because the men in blue WERE ACTUALLY THERE! So a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs and got to the bottom in the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling "Fuck Da Police!" in his face...and he was almost impressed.

He was like "Wow...", and then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and said, "Get the patty wagon!" 

And my friend, InfiniteTheEdge, who is now a father, this man is now expecting a second baby, he grabbed a .40 pistol, smashed it on the ground, and yelled, "SCATTER!". And everyone ran into different directions.

We all ran in different directions. (It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways.) In my case, I ran into the laundry room then I jumped up on the washing machine and I crawled out through a window into the backyard. Now I'm running through the backyard, there was this big chain link fence and I thought, "I've never climbed a fence that high before!" And then I woke up at home.

On Monday...I went to school, because that's what we did back then. And I'm walking into the school building and who do I see but Risky Boots. And she says to me "Hey, handsome.~  Were you at my party on Saturday, sweetie?~" and I said "No."...You know, like a liar. And she said, "Well, things got really outta hand. Someone broke the pool table. Somebody else placed a 'PINGAS!' face on my dad's computer. But the worst thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it!" And I had that thought that only blacked out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: "Did I do that?"

I figured, "No. I wouldn't have done that." But I was never sure...until two years later. I'm playing video games with my friend named Blumiere that I also went to high school with. Two years later, we've graduated by now. We're playing video games for a couple hours, and then Blumiere says to me, "Hey, come here. I want to show you something!" Then he takes me into his bedroom and next, he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom. (Never a good thing to have!)

And he showed me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And I said, "Why? Why do you do this?!"  Towards THAT, Blumiere replied, "Because it's the one thing you can't replace!" 

That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that, right? That's crazy, and that's why I don't drink anymore!

Viger: (snickers, laughs, then calms down) Antasma will see you all next time, and as always, toodles!