That night, I leave abruptly and practically sprint back home. I ignore every past warning and reminders that run through my head of my parents telling me that being alone in the dark is dangerous.

When I arrive home, I quietly head to my room. Luckily, no one sees me. I immediately sit on my bed and just start crying.

I'm in complete shock. A million emotions are flying around in my mind but the one I feel the most is pure betrayal.

I start to type a text out to 'Sea' online on her familiar Tumblr account, calling her out on being a pathetic liar. At the same time, I want to send a message to Marina, telling her that we're done.

Something holds me back though.

I remind myself that Marina doesn't know. I can't blame her for this when she hasn't figured it out either. I've never known how to act with a first love, and I can't mess up now.

I take some comfort in knowing that she'll find out the truth soon. I'll make sure to tell her.

I want to see the look on her face when she realizes I'm her internet friend. I'm the one that she's poured her heart out to online. I'm her friend, but also her girlfriend.

I start to steady my breaths and wipe my leftover tears away. I try to level myself so that I don't feel as if I'm drowning in an ocean of senseless thoughts.

I look to my phone again and finally erase the dramatic texts I was almost going to send her. It would have ruined everything we've built together.

I switch to my old conversation with Elliot and I want to message him.

I need to message him. I need his opinions. His charming humor that somehow allows him to twist anything into something marvelous. His ability to give advice that somehow makes everything in the world make sense.

I shouldn't though.

I shouldn't be the one to always make an effort and I shouldn't be the one to text first.

I practically slam my phone on my white nightstand next to my bed. I lay down, and my mind wanders through the parallels and similarities between Sea and Marina.

Of course, they're the same person, so I find that they share everything in common. The only differences were that Sea had opened up to me much quicker.

She had also shown her true dramatic and fun loving self quicker. Marina, in contrast, had taken longer to let her walls down. Her public image was different and though she has the traits that her reputation show, I've found that there's so much beyond that when it comes to her.

When I fall asleep, I'm dreaming of the future with Marina.

When I approach my school the next day, I realize that it's so much smaller than it used to be.

It hasn't shrunken in size, but somehow the people that I've known for over a decade and the dull teachers with fake smiles on their faces seem smaller.

Now that I know Sea was Marina, it feels even tinier. I had beat the odds of meeting online friends and had achieved the impossible feat.

I was somehow dating her too.

It feels so impossible and unlikely in my hopes that now, I start to doubt myself.

Am I living in some dream?

The thought leaves me wonderstruck.

It felt like some kind of miracle which was shocking, as I'm not a lucky person. I've lost every single contest I've ever tried to win. When you play stupid games like those though, the rewards are meaningless.

Now that I won the magical game of dating Marina though, the prizes are important to me. The rewarding feelings of being with her means everything to me. It's not a childish tale, it's my own life.

Before I can enter the classroom, someone pulls me away. I nearly yell at who I assume must be some idiotic first year, but instead it's Elliot. He pulls me away to the tiny janitor's closet right as the bell rings.

"I'm late. I have to go," I tell him.

He puts his arms around me in a form of a hug and says, "I miss you."

"What?" I ask curiously.

Elliot's actions, being the first one to make an effort, are unbelievable. Again, I start to question if I'm living in some kind of dream.

"I miss you, and I need to tell you something," he says seriously.

At the sight of him losing his grin, I immediately ask, "well, what is it?"

"I figured out that Marina is Sea!" He exclaims proudly, as if he's figured out the answer to the greatest mystery in the world.

"I know it's her," I simply say.

The pride he was feeling erases from his face, and he tells me, "you seem awfully calm about that. When did you find out?"

"It's sort of a long story," I respond, and this time I turn the question to him, "how did you figure it out?"

"So, like, I did a google search and apparently Marina means, 'of the sea.' I put the pieces together."

I start laughing because that's so Elliot. All it took was one internet search and somehow he knew it. Meanwhile, it took me months. The clues were right in front of me but the puzzle remained constantly changing for me.

"You idiot, I love you so much," I tell him.

He smiles and says, "I am so so sorry about how I've acted all this time. You're right. About me. About everything. I'm committed to improving because I don't want to be that person that hurts you. I know where I went wrong and I will never try to force you to talk about anything you don't want to talk about."

"Thanks, Elliot, " I respond.

"Do you forgive me?" He asks uneasily.

Elliot has been my safe space throughout the years, and I can't bear the thought of letting him go. He's different though. He wants to change from those comments he always made. It seems as if he will.

That's why I tell him, "yes. I forgive you."

He smiles right away and throws his arms around me, wrapping me into a tight hug.

"I have something to tell you, " I say. "I'm asexual."

"That's awesome. I'm proud of you for figuring that out. Now I really regret saying those things."

"Elliot, whether I'm asexual or not doesn't matter," I tell him.

"Right, I'm sorry. I'm trying to not be as dumb. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"It's okay," I say out loud.

"I will learn everything possible so that I don't ever say anything annoying!"

He nods in response and I stay quiet after that. We mindlessly sit down, our backs against the dirty janitor's closet walls.

"Back in the closet, eh," he jokes.

I giggle, and say, "those were some horrible days."

"Remember when I dated this girl, Nicole, in middle school? When I finally told her the truth at the school dance, she cried. You probably remember all of that. Well, I saw her at the grocery story last week and she almost ran when she saw me! I honestly think she's haunted by this memory."

We start to laugh together at the strange memories, where I even mention my ex-boyfriend and how he had dated several girls after me in some desperate attempt to get the 'gay' off of him. It had bothered me at first, how he had done that, but sometimes all you can do is make a joke out of the homophobic actions of an asshole.

We exchange these memories with each other for a few more minutes, until we both decide that we should head back to class. Before we can even get inside the classroom though, the bell rings, which signals the mark of class ending.

"My mom is probably going to kill me for skipping class," I tell Elliot as I roll my eyes.

"Sorry not sorry," is all he says before he gets whisked away by his boyfriend, probably for another one of their impromptu meetings.

In the crowded hallways, I spot Marina's capturing blue eyes and she finds me too. She strolls over to me and even when she turns to see Elliot already halfway down the long hallway, she knows that I was with him.

"Do you want to talk about that?" She questions.

"No, everything is good. We need to talk about something else though," I respond.

"What is it?"

"Meet me at the football field after school," I say, offering her no explanation.