Ophiuchus: Guess what everyone!! In honor of this-

Saggy: Wait, who are you?

Ophiuchus: Uhhhh nobody just a commonly used zodiac plot device.

Saggy: Oh, okay then. Carry on!

Ophi: Cool! So, in honor of it being a saturday, we are going to be having four characters answer some questions pertaining to the story, and life in general. Please welcome our panelists!

Cancer: Hello! *Waves*

Scorpio: *Glares silently*

Saggy: Wassup my dudes

Taurus: *Eating chips* *Looks up* What?

Ophi: Excellent. So, we have our first question: Is water wet?

Scorpio: Seriously?

Ophi: Shut up I didn't invent these

Cancer: But... you did...

Ophi: Shut up! Who's answering first?

Saggy: Oh! Me! Pick me!

Everyone else: *silent*

Ophi: Hmm so many choices... Saggy!

Saggy: I, Saggy, as a representative of the fire signs, can say with certainty that water is not wet. Water, when touching another substance is wet, but water touching itself is not wet. The prosecution rests.

Ophi: Alright... who's next?

Cancer: Sure, I'll go. I think water is wet. What Saggy says about water in and of itself not being wet is true, but individual water molecules are actually surrounded by other water molecules. So when water is all together, it is wet because it's surrounding itself.

Ophi: Hm, interesting opinion Canc-

Saggy: Actually, that's not true. Even though the individual water molecules are surrounded by other water molecules, water is a cohesive substance with hydrogen bonds. These bonds connect the molecules, and turn water into one cohesive substance, that is not wet.

Ophi: Thank you, Saggy, for that second and unasked for opinion! Now, we still need to hear from Taurus and Scorp-

Cancer: That doesn't change anything. The hydrogen bonds have nothing to do with the relation water has to its molecules.

Ophi: Wonderf-

Saggy: It changes it completely! Once they begin sticking together it changes things completely!

Cancer: No it doesn't- *mouth moves but no noise comes out* *blinks* *Raises an eyebrow at Ophi*

Ophi: Haha I get author powers for this chapter. You guys are on mute until the next chapter. Taurus, Scorpio, what do you think?

Scorpio: I agree with Cancer. I think Saggy's reasoning is better, but I've seen how little attention Saggy pays in chemistry class. She probably made it up. Water is wet.

Saggy: *Mouths at Scorpio*

Cancer: *Gives a thumbs up*

Ophi: Taurus?

Taurus: *Eating chips* I dunno maybe it's not wet.

Ophi: Alright. Next question: Now that Libra and Capricorn are dating, who will the next couple be?

Cancer: Hmm... I'll need to do some research on this one to give a complete answer, but I think Aries and Leo would be cute together. Don't quote me on that.

Scorpio: None. There will be no more couples because no one else likes each other.

Saggy: The next couple will be Gemini and Aquarius. *dabs*

Taurus: I don't think it can really be predicted at this point.

Ophi: Excellent, excellent... next question. How many holes does a straw have? *Holds up a straw*

Cancer: One, a straw is like a donut.

Saggy: Two, because if you poked a hole in the side there would be three.

Taurus: None, because there's no matter missing from the straw.

Scorpio: *Burns straw with eyes* I don't see a straw.

Ophi: *Shakes out burning plastic* Okay, here's our next question, directly requested by the author. Any chapter suggestions? They said, and I quote, "Help I need ideas!"

Scorpio: Wow that's lame.

Saggy: MOAR CAMPING

Cancer: What if we all went to the beach?

Taurus: You could write a story about Taurus Cancer and Pisces hunting for treasure and finding lots of donuts.

Ophi: All good ideas, excellent. For our next questions, they're individual. Taurus, if Cancer and Pisces were on a train and a bunch of donuts and chocolate were on a train and they were both going off a cliff and you could only save one, which would you save?

Taurus: Cancer and Pisces of course. I will eventaully eat an entire train of chocolate and donuts, but Cancer and Pisces are one of a kind.

Cancer: Aww thanks!

Ophi: Cool, cool. Cancer, if you couldn't date Pisces and had to date one of the other zodiacs, who would it be?

Cancer: Taurus, because she's my friend!

Taurus: Cool *Thumbs up*

Ophi: Scorpio, I have a dare for you... wait is that legal in this format?

Scorpio: *Shrugs* whatever

Ophi: I dare you to text the zodiac group chat something embarrasing about yourself.

Scorpio: Easy. *Pulls out phone*

Scorpio: Something embarrasing about yourself

Leo: Huh???

Scorpio: Done.

Ophi: ...Okay then. Finally, Saggy. If you had to prank Aries in the worst way possible, what would you do?

Saggy: Hmmm... I would never actually do this to Ari, but I would lock her in a closet and each chocolate noisily just outside of it.

Cancer: But... you did that last week...

Ophi: Cool. One final question. How's life?

Taurus: Cool.

Cancer: Great!

Scorpio: It's been worse.

Saggy: *Dabs*

Ophi: Coolio. Alright, I'm gonna go now. *Jumps through the wall*

Saggy: Whoa sick! *Tries to jump through the wall* *Hits her face*

=THE END=

=OF THE CHAPTER THAT IS=

=K I'LL STOP TALKING=

Oof, it's been a while since I put a chapter up.  I'm coming to the end of the prewritten stuff, so updates will be more erratic.  Thanks a ton for reading!