Aries: *Wanders downstairs* *Goes over to the fridge* Ooh sweet! Last cupcake is for me! *Reaches for it*

Libra: *Wanders in* Oh, hey, Aries, how's it- wait, stop!

Aries: *Freezes, the cupcake halfway to her mouth* Hm?

Libra: I was saving that for Capricorn! There's only one left!

Aries: Hold on, you can't 'save' cupcakes for people. It's first come, first serve.

Libra: Didn't you hear me last night? I said during dinner 'hey nobody eat the last cupcake, it's Capricorn's.'

Aries: Pfft, and you were expecting me to listen?

Libra: ...well, yeah...

Aries: *Pat's Libra's shoulder* It's fine, we all make mistakes. I'm gonna eat my cupcake now, cool?

Libra: What? No!

Saggy: *Walks in* Hey, what's all the fuss about?

Libra: Saggy! Weren't you there last night when I said I was saving the last cupcake?

Saggy: ...when was this?

Libra: *Sighs* never mind.

Taurus: *Walks in* Hi guys- wait, why is Aries about to eat my cupcake?

Aries Libra & Saggy: Your cupcake???

Saggy: Hold on, I was just coming down here to eat that.

Aries: I got here first!

Taurus: Really? Huh, I just kind of assumed that all the food in this house de facto belonged to me.

Gemini: *Walking in* That is... not at all how that works. What's all the fuss about?

Saggy: Aries took-

Libra: But it was mine in the first place-

Taurus: I'm really hungry-

Aries: I'm literally just trying to eat my cupcake, people.

Gemini: Wait, is this about the cupcakes I baked last week?

Saggy: Yeah.

Gemini: Last one right? Hand it over.

Aries: *Hugs plate* No!! My precious!!

Gemini: I'm the chef, right? So I get dibs?

All: No!

Gemini: Oh, come on! It's always been the rule!

Virgo: *Walks in* Why is everyone standing around?

*Everyone begins talking*

Virgo: *Holds up hands* I don't want to know. It's way too early for this. I'm just going to have some breakfast. *Opens the fridge* Hey, where did the last cupcake go?

Libra: Virgo, not you too!

Virgo: What? *Sees Aries with the cupcake* *Grumbles* Should have known.

Cancer: *Walks in* *Sees everyone* What's going on?

*Everyone begins talking*

Cancer: Ummm ooookay then. *Walks over to Aries* Hey Aries, wanna split the cupcake?

All: NO!

Cancer: ...

Cancer: Rude.

Pisces: *Walks in* Uhhhh what?

Cancer: They're all fighting over a cupcake, apparently.

Pisces: Oh, that's all? I have an easy solution.

All: *Eagrely* What??

Pisces: I'll eat it!

All: NO!!!

Capricorn: *Walks in, rubbing his eyes* What is everyone yelling about?

All: *Start talking really fast*

Capricorn: Wait, I called dibs on that for Libra last night.

Libra: Wait, what?

Capricorn: Weren't you listening?

Aries: HAH!

Aquarius: *Runs in* Guys, I have great news!

Gemini: Ooh, what?

Aquarius: I have a prototype for an invention that should eliminate the need for shoelaces!

Gemini: Awesome!

Aquarius: All I need to complete the design are two tanks of plutonium, and a cupcake. *Looks at Aries* I'll be needing that.

All: NO!!!!!!!!!!

Scorpio: *Walks in* Hey losers.

Aries: Hey nutjob.

Scorpio: Is that my cupcake?

Gemini: Hold on, you don't even live here-

Aries: *Snatches cupcake away* HOIL NAW

Scorpio: Look, we all know the cupcake is mine, so-

Saggy: Wait, what are you talking abou-

Virgo: -just calm down please-

Cancer: -feeling very attacked right now-

Taurus: -I'm hungry-

Leo: *Walks into the room* Wait, what is Aries doing with my-

Aries: NO! WE DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOU WERE SAVING IT FOR LATER OR HOW YOU WERE COMING DOWN FOR IT NOW, OR HOW YOU NEED IT FOR YOUR FISH TANK OR HOW IT'S GOING TO MAGICALLY CURE ALL CANCERS, I WAS HERE FIRST AND WITH THE POWER INVESTED IN MY BY THE GODS OF DIBS I CLAIM ALL RIGHT TO THIS BEAUTIFUL OBJECT NOW AND FOREVER!

Leo: ...

Aries: Am I clear?

Leo: ...I guess you can have my chair then...?

Virgo: Okay, you know what? This has gone to far. There are twelve of us who want the cupcake, and only one of us can actually have it. We need to decide reasonably and logically who can get the cupcake.

Saggy: Yeah, no.

Virgo: *Loudly* OR I will personally throw it in the garbage right now.

All: ...

Virgo: Am I clear?

All: ...yes

Virgo: Good. Can everyone say why they need the cupcake?

Taurus: I deserve the cupcake because all the food in this house is mine.

Libra: I deserve the cupcake because I was going to give it to Capricorn.

Aquarius: I deserve the cupcake because SCIENCE

Capricorn: I deserve the cupcake because I was going to give it to Libra.

Aries: I deserve the cupcake because I got here first.

Saggy: I deserve the cupcake because I've been planning on eating it since last night.

Cancer: I deserve the cupcake because I came down here to eat it anyways.

Scorpio: You are all losers and I want my cupcake.

Gemini: I deserve the cupcake because I baked them.

Pisces: I deserve the cupcake because my eating it would be a valid method of resolving the conflict.

Leo: I have no valid claim to the cupcake and have no idea what is going on...?

Aries: Hmmm everyone has convincing arguments

Aquarius: Indeed, how are we to solve this conundrum?

Saggy: I have an idea!!

Libra: Does it involve water guns?

Saggy: ...yes

Libra: *Sigh* Any other ideas?

Gemini: Hey, why don't we just have a race to see who gets it?

Libra: Wait, you're only saying that because you're fast.

Gemini: Uhhh, yeah?

Virgo: Actually, Gemini may have a point. We just need a method of resolving the conflict that gets this situation over with with no broken limbs. Who's good with a race?

*Everyone mutters but no one outright disagrees*

Virgo: Okay, great, let's just get this over with.

Saggy: Yall are going down!!!

Aries: No you

*Outside*

Virgo: Okay, so we're just going to run from here to the end of the driveway, okay?

All: *Nods*

Virgo: And no unfair play, okay? Just focus on yourself.

All: *Nods*

Virgo: Okay, let's start in three... two... one... GO!

*Everyone starts running*

Aquarius: *Fiddling with some rockets tied to his shoes* Dang it, this should work!

Saggy: *Accidently bumps Gemini*

Gemini: Hey! *Shoves Saggy into Capricorn*

Capricorn: Watch out! *Stumbles into Aries*

Aries: Hoil naw *Shoves Capricorn into Pisces*

Pisces: *Is completely decked*

Cancer: *Stops running and runs over to Pisces* Pi! Are you okay? *Helps him up*

Pisces: Yeah, just fell over. *Looks up* They all outdistanced us.

Cancer: Come on, let's go inside and bake a new batch.

Pisces: Sure. *They leave*

*Meanwhile*

Aries: *Intensely sprinting* YOU'RE GOING DOWN VIRGIN

Virgo: *Running* Can someone help Aries? I think she's stuck in all caps.

Aries: WHY ARE YOU SO FAST

Virgo: I'm tall?

Aries: NOT TODAY VIRGIN

Virgo: That... is factually incorrect.

Saggy: *Shoving Gemini* Move!

Gemini: *Shoving Saggy* You're in my way!

Saggy: *Shoving* No, you're in my way!

Gemini: *Shoving* No, you're in- *Trips* *Pulls Saggy down with him*

Libra: *Running* -you drop out, I've got it!

Capricorn: *Running* But then you'll give it- oh wait, everyone's ahead of us.

Libra: Yeah.

Capricorn: Wanna go eat pancakes?

Libra: Alright, sure. *They leave*

Leo: *Jogging in second place and looking back* Why is everyone so slow?

Scorpio: *In first place* Losers

Aquarius: *At the start of the race* *Fiddling with his shoes*...I just need to calibrate the jetfire motors...

Taurus: *Sitting next to Aquarius eating chips* Mmhmm

Aries: *Running as fast as she can* I WILL END YOU

Virgo: You're... ahead of me...

Aries: STOP MAKING EXCUSES

Virgo: ...

Saggy & Gemini: *On the ground and fighting*

Leo: Oh wait, is Scorpio ahead of me?

Scorpio: *Looks back and snorts* Slow

Leo: ...

Leo: Oh, it is on.

Leo: *Begins running full speed*

Aries: *Running* PREPARE YOUR OBIT- Holy crap! Since when is Leo so fast?

Virgo: *Running* Whoa

Aries: Huh, neat. Where was I? Oh yeah, PREPARE YOUR OBITUARY, VIRGIN

Virgo: *Sighs*

Leo: *Catches up to Scorpio*

Scorpio: *Notices Leo* *Speeds up*

Leo: *Running super fast*

Scorpio: *Running super fast*

Leo & Scorpio: *Neck and neck*

Scorpio: *Starts shoving Leo*

Leo: Hey! *Tries to push Scorpio away*

Scorpio & Leo: *Aggressively shoving each other*

*Leo and Scorpio are aggressively shoving each other side by side as they approach the finish line*

Leo: *Running* *Aggressively shoving Scorpio* *Glances at Scorpio* *Realizes it's gonna be a tie*

Leo: *Stops running*

Scorpio: *Goes flying off to the side*

Leo: *Smirks* *Strolls across the finish line* Well, I guess I-

Aries: *Crosses the line and tackles Leo* I HATE YOU

Virgo: *Staggers gasping over the finish line*

Leo: *Shoves Aries off* Haha I win-

Scorpio: *Walks up and punches Leo*

Leo: *Rubs his arm* Ow! *Punches Scorpio*

Scorpio: *Punches Leo*

Leo: *Punches Scorpio*

Scorpio: *Punches Leo*

Leo: *Punches Scorpio*

Scorpio: *Punches Leo*

Leo: *Punches Scorpio*

Leo & Scorpio: *Accidently fist-bump each other*

Leo & Scorpio: ...

Aquarius: *Falls out of the sky onto Leo and Scorpio* Success! *Looks around* Did I win?

Aries: Nah dude the race ended like two hours ago.

Aquarius: Oh. That's too bad. *Helps Leo up*

Aries: How much do you want for the cupcake? I deal in cash, donuts, and stolen chess pieces.

Leo: *Strokes his chin evilly* You know what, I'm not that hungry anyways... I will give the cupcake to whoever can profess their admiration for me the most.

Virgo: *Facepalms*

Aries: Leo, you are the light of my life and the entire reason for my existence.

Aquarius: Leo, you are almost as precious to me as duct tape.

Scorpio: Leo, you're annoying and lame and I don't really like you

Leo: Alright, well, I think the clear winner here is.... ARIES!!

Aries: AYYYY *Runs off to eat the cupcake*

Aquarius: *Fakes crying* Fine, I see how it is! I poor my heart and soul out to you, and this is what I get!

Virgo: Okay, I am officially done with this conversation. *Leaves*

Scorpio: Yeah, me too. Later, losers

Aquarius: *Waves* Bye!

Leo: Yeah, see you.

Aquarius: *Turns to Leo* Hey wanna go inside and play video games?

Leo: Sure *They go inside*

Deleted scenes

Saggy & Gemini: *Intensely fighting*

Saggy: Hey, wait... isn't the race over?

Gemini: Oh, yeah, pfft.

Saggy: Ehh whatever I'm not that hungry.

Gemini: Yeah, I'll just make another batch sometime.

Saggy: Have you tried putting halepenios in them?

Gemini: Ooh, clever...

==========

Cancer: ...and the recipe says to add three cups of flour

Pisces: Alright *Dumps flower in*

Cancer: Then it says to add 2 tablespoons of- Pisces, what are you doing?

Pisces: Adding M&Ms.

Cancer: ...why?

Pisces: To color the cake, duh.

Cancer: That's... not at all how this works.

Pisces: *Laughs* I know, I'm just messing with you. It'll taste good, and I'm curious.

Cancer: Fair enought. Two tablespoons of baking powder...

==========

Taurus: *Eating chips*

==========

Capricorn: Hey, we've been to this place three times and I know you went here a lot before we started dating. How many of the little plastic dinosaurs do you think Gemini has by now?

Libra: *Does some mental math* Oh my god...

Gemini's closet: *A giant pile of 1000+ plastic dinosaurs*

Hello, folks!  I've realized that I never gave a physical description for the zodiacs, so here one is.  It won't affect the story in any way, it's just how I picture them in my head.  You don't have to read it.

Aries: Shortest, shortish rough brown hair, brown eyes

Taurus: Short, shortish brown hair, blue eyes

Gemini: Tallish, short light brown hair, blue-green eyes

Cancer: Shortish, shoulder length dirty blond hair, blue eyes

Leo: Shortish, blond hair that sticks up, hazel eyes

Virgo: Tall, short brown hair, green eyes

Libra: Medium height, longish dirty blond hair, blue eyes

Scorpio: Medium tall, normal length black hair ponytail, black eyes

Saggy: Tall, longish dark brown hair in a ponytail, brown eyes

Capricorn: Medium height, shortish dark brown hair, brown eyes

Aquarius: Tallest, shortish messy black hair, blue grey eyes

Pisces: Short, shortish blond hair, hazel eyes

Thanks for reading!