once upon a time, long, long ago... well, more like 20 years ago... my mom married my dad in front of like 6,000 of their closest personal friends. yeah, so instead of a honeymoon, my dad united all of the kingdoms and got himself elected king of the united states of auradon. he rounded up all the villains and sidekicks, and he booted them off to the isle of the lost with a magical barrier to keep them there.

then he and my mom decided to have my brother, but to their surprise there were two buns in the oven. so then came by brother and i, we grew up in auradon and lived heteronormative lives. yeah, he was taught that he'd be king and marry a princess, and i was taught i'd mary a prince. then as my brother and i were turning 16, he made a proclamation. we were to bring over four villain kids from the isle of the lost. who did he bring over?

mal, daughter of maleficent, and hades but we didn't know that at the time, and her gang. evie, daughter of the evil queen. jay, son to jafar. last but not least carlos, son of cruella de vil. you know who the parents are, the stories that come with the names. who knew that by bringing these four over our worlds would spiral out of our parents control...

i always knew i was different to say the least. as i entered my teen years i realized i didn't want to marry a prince, or any guy for that matter. i wanted to be a queen who would find herself a girl to be her queen and live happily ever after. i didn't tell anyone though as i feared i would be tormented and shamed for my preferences. i don't know what exactly triggered my sexual awakening, probably all the princesses that were always in the castle having tea with mother. however when i saw evie for the first time, it was like all of my fears were out the door. all i wanted was to be with evie, we became friends and got as close as possible. she made me feel things no ones ever made me feel, yeah there were girls i liked but none of them made me feel things like her. then when i found out she liked me too, well i was filled with all kinds of excitement. i knew she was the one. i can't speak for my brother, but i'm pretty sure that's how he felt about carlos as they became a couple the same night.

life's been hectic since the vk's came over. mal ran back to the isle, and when we went to get her ben got himself captured by pirates. i went after him and saved all of our asses. see you don't need violence to resolve dangerous situations, you just need to listen to one another and understand the situation. violence is never the answer, despite what some people might've seen on family day. we brought the pirates over and during the cotillion we were attacked. not by the pirates but by jane, yeah that surprised us all. no one saw it coming... i felt bad as she said no one ever had time for her as earlier that day i kinda told her to fuck off, in a nice way, as i had to help the new vk's. but then she made me float in the air and dropped me in the freezing water so i stopped feeling bad for her. 

then a few weeks later we were attacked again! this time auradon wasn't at risk, just mal which was bad. at least we knew hades wasn't a threat to us. at least not while he was behind the barrier that is. then we found out that maleficent's scepter was stolen! and guess who it was, audrey! out of everyone, it was audrey. yeah maybe we did treat her bad, well ben did as he never officially broke up with her, but like why steal the scepter? just punch ben if you wanted to sis. not only did she steal the scepter, she put auradon to sleep and turned people into stone. oh she also turned ben into a beast and almost killed me. then hades was brought over to revive us blah blah blah, so yeah that's a recap of everything that's happen.

oh and evie proposed to me. it's worth mentioning that carlos also proposed to ben. the gays are thriving, i love that for us. so yeah, it's been a year the proposal and stuff has happened since then. why don't we start with auradon's  favorite couple, ben and carlos.

ben is working as a diplomat for auradon, yeah basically auradon has a king and a queen as we're working together. that is until evie and i get married and she becomes our second queen. imagine having two queens? i love that for auradon. anyways back to ben and carlos...

carlos is about to enter university, he's going to be studying to become a vet. his love for animals is so adorable honestly. he's a really smart guy, he graduated auradon prep top of his class. carlos has also helped a lot with the new vk's, helping them get adjusted around school. he's also spent a lot of time helping at the local shelter, he and ben even got a puppy named after them. benlos, he's a little dalmatian and he's just the cutest thing around here.

their relationship is also going great, they're not married yet but the day is coming obviously. they've been planning everything themselves, not letting anyone help them as they want to do this themselves. they place the orders and organize everything, even the invitations! and they're inviting a lot of people... at least evie is designing their suits, uma is catering, and they let me, jay and mal help choose the entertainment. live band or dj? who knows, why not both? we'll see.

now to everyone's favorite magical people, mal and uma. well as i said uma is catering the wedding, after the whole audrey ordeal and she came back from the isle, uma took a job at a local restaurant. not only that, she went from being a waitress to a chef, thanks to her working at her mother's restaurant. uma is so good, her food is to die for. she's working on opening up her own place even. mal, well she's training to become a knight and she's working with ben and i. yeah we're the dream team, it's a lame name but ben and mal seem to like it. we make things happen and that's all that matters.

jay and gil are off on adventures, yeah they sent us all postcards from the congo rainforest...or at least somewhere near there as they said that was their last stop before returning to auradon. we haven't seen them in a while, i wonder how much they've changed. oh god if they cut their hair i will be disappointed. guys with long hair are like so much better than guys with short hair. the last time i saw jay we talked about how some schools had reached out to him about getting a free ride to uni based on his athleticism. gil, he mentioned becoming a teacher but for little kids. probably kindergarteners or somewhere around there, he's amazing with kids. ugh i met his siblings, and they're just the most adorable bunch of babies i have ever met. well they're not babies, the boys are 6 years old and the girls are 4 years old. anyways, they're just so adorable. and nice! you know my mother spoke down on gaston, how from the moment she met him he was a jerk. well his children are nothing like that! especially gil, he's just a sweetheart. it's hard to believe he's from the isle, or even from uma's gang.

and let's not forget about harry, yeah hook boy is doing good for himself. of course he's still uma's first mate, but he's not by her side 24/7. yeah he helps around the restaurant, but most of the time he's with evie. he's a model, and he works for evie. yeah you open a evie4hearts catalog and you'll always see him on the cover. everyone in auradon seems to have heart eyes for the pirate. especially chad, who would've thought? i always imagined he and audrey would get together, but now suddenly he's into harry. which like okay i don't judge, but woah. speaking of audrey, she's seeing jane. yeah i guess making them spend so much time together softened their hearts and they became a thing. good for them i guess, i like how everyone i know is like gay? ugh i love us.

let's not forget my baby evie! yeah evie is making this year her bitch. not only did her business kick off, but now everyone wants their clothes designed by evie. even my own mother is ruining after her trying to get a gown made by her. yeah maybe she's driving others out of business... but her clothes are just to die for. your dress isn't from evie4hearts? oh you can't sit with us. i'm kidding, but that's how popular her brand is. she's making so much money for herself, and making a name for herself. i love that, and i love her. she's just so amazing, like i got so lucky to be with such an amazing girl.

i love evie, i really do. we haven't tied the knot yet, we still have to start planning obviously. well we have started, but we're doing it slowly. we just want to make sure everything is perfect. we don't want to rush either, i mean we plan on getting married maybe by the age of 22? i mean i know ben and carlos are waiting till they're 21, both of them and not just ben, but it still feels like we're diving head first. i men's our parents didn't get married till they were what? 30? no wait, mom was 23 and dad was 28... anyways, we're both just very busy obviously, and we like going at our own space. yeah we'll probably wed when we're 25, yeah 25.

oh right, our birthday's coming up. i still can't believe it's almost been a year since evie proposed. ah! i just want to let out a squeal of excitement but i'm not because i'm a mature person now. okay maybe i'll do it when i'm all by myself...

i think we're all caught up with everyone! great! now back to my royal duties.

haha i said duties.