Present Time...

Sarah

Months have passed and Billy has began being cold to me for no apparent reason. I tried talking to him but he ignored me.

Despite that, I kept my patience and arranged my flight schedules to be able to still take care of him even if I am busy. I was grateful when our boss understood me and I received lots of sympathy from my friends and colleagues.

Billy remained distant and emotional. At times, I would catch him staring into space and when asked, he would deny it and change the topic. He began taking his anger out on us.

For some reason, I understand where he is coming from. He cannot feel nor move his legs. It was holding him back. He may not tell it to me but he is suffering from it.

Most of the time, I will just give him food and he will just silently eat it. Once he was finished, he would just place it on the tray and set it aside. I will just get it after a couple of minutes when he is asleep.

It was difficult putting up with him but I am trying. I am doing this because I love him.

Months flew by fast and we have to decide whether we have to push through with the wedding. Ylona had to meet us as the wedding is bound to begin in three months time.

Ylona was staring at me and then at Billy at the couch. I did not know what to say and how to react.

Billy never told me about his decision so when he dropped the news, I felt a lump in my throat.

"We're not pushing through with it." Was all that he could muster.

I was waiting for him to tell that it will be postponed or set to a different year or time but came out none.

"Sarah?" Ylona asked looking at me for approval.

I could feel Billy's stares at me and I fought back the tears. I managed a small tight smile and said, "y-yeah. I agree."

She paused for a moment at me before she nodded, "Alright. Let me know if there will be changes. I'll be talking to everyone who's involved."

I immediately wiped my tears and cleared my throat before saying, "T-thank you, Ylona. We appreciate all the help."

"No fuss. Get well soon, Billy." Ylona said and shook her head before giving me a smile. She lifted her head to nod at Billy who mumbled a bored 'okay' and turned to me. "I have to go now, Sarah. You, take care, alright? Get some sleep." She hugged me and for a while, I felt comforted.

I nodded and hugged her back. I wanted to cry on her shoulder but it was all I could do to hold back and control myself.

Ylona has become a friend more than a wedding planner. I bumped into her more than three times almost every other week because she's just everywhere. She's a breath of fresh air.

I let her go and leave us at Billy's room here in the family house. Tita Odette insisted to have Billy here to properly take care of him and his needs. She believes that he will get the rest he deserves than have nurses checking up on him every now and then. Thankfully, the doctors allowed him to be.

Once Ylona was gone, all that was left was an awkward silence. It was so loud that I don't even know how and what to react.

Silence was never a problem with us before. I honestly do not have any idea what happened to him. And to us.

"Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?" Billy asked with his eyes closed.

Hot, fresh tears instantly filled my eyes with his words.

"A-ah. Oo. Uuwi na." I whispered in obvious shock and disappointment.

"Please close the door on your way out. And call Aling Melda. Thanks." Billy said and covered his eyes with his arms over it.

I sniffed and started to grab the sling bag to put it on. With one last look at Billy, I opened the door and silently closed it behind me.

"Oh, hija! Uuwi ka na agad? Wala pang tren–" Aling Melda asked in surprise when she saw me approaching them at the kitchen.

"— pinapatawag po kayo ni Billy. Una na po ako." I said and smiled politely at them.

Sally and Trina waved goodbye at me with confused expressions on their faces.

As soon as I was out their door, I lost it. I sobbed hard. Harder than I ever thought I would.

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Billy

It pains me to hurt Sarah just like that. I know how excited she is with our wedding.

But how can I make her happy with my condition? How can I support her if I am in this state?

How can I serve her like what we have always dreamt of when we were young? How can I give her the world when I am incapable?

Sarah deserves to be loved wholeheartedly.

I wasn't faithful to her and the guilt is just eating me up every day.

Maybe, this is my karma.

💔💔💔

Thoughts?

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