i push people away
and i hide
and i lie

and i still wonder why no one is there for me

i'm so desperate to hurt myself
to destroy myself
that i hurt and destroy
anyone who might have ever cared for me

maybe you were right all along
when you said why i don't have any friends
that it's my fault
and i deserve every terrible thing that happens to me

because i pushed you away
and i hid
and i lied

all along, i was asking for it
i was asking for you to leave

-that doesn't stop me from begging you to come back