Ever since summer break started,

Ever since I began camp counseling,

I've felt different.

With all the tough work and the carefree days of hanging around at home, I've been feeling weird.

Not the sick kind of weird... just weird.

And then yesterday, I realized.

I'm not happy.

Now, I don't mean I'm depressed, but it's so weird. I know what it is to be ecstatic, but now, reaching past 14 years of living my life, I seem to have lost most of it. Like I'm not happy, but not sad either.

I'm just emotionally neutral.

But I know what it feels like to be happy and sad. I've felt those all my life.

I've been bullied, hated, lost good friends... but I've also made new good friends, helped people, and had great times with my family, and I'm now testing what I can do with my talents.

Happiness and sadness are both strong feelings.

And I'm feeling like I'm slowly losing them.

It confuses me, and almost makes me nervous.

I'm sure some of you may feel it. But just now realizing it kinda scares me.

Not that I want attention, just needed to get this off my chest for a bit.

(Also, how was your 4th of July? I just sat at my computer drawing pictures and missing out on the lightshow, which I was kinda disappointed. I'm not very patriotic, but I do like watching fireworks!)