the back of anon's head is somehow more fascinating than the front.

which is just as well, because that's all taehyung's been seeing the entire duration of class with his face resting in his hands and an irrepressible smile dominating his lips. it had only taken him a few seconds to pinpoint anon's location in the front row, and now that he's watching him properly he realizes that that fluffy mess of hair had always been there. it had always existed somewhere in the corner of his vision, every single math class, but had never really been looked at.

because that was all it had been beforeㅡa fluffy mess of hair belonging to an irrelevant student in the class of a subject he despised, who he'd probably only interacted with once for the sake of a project or such.

but taehyung knows better now.

it may have been just a big mass of disshelved hair that he's gazing at so intensely, but he finds himself recalling more and more the longer he stares. he's not entirely sure if anon belongs to the top-scoring part of the class or the bottom, but he definitely remembers him being personally called up to the teacher's desk on numerous occasions when being returned test papers. had mr. choi's expression been stern or commending? hell if taehyung knows.

capturing the end of his pencil between his teeth, taehyung chews on it pensively, eyes unwavering from the boy three desks ahead of him. the name still isn't coming to him. he knows that he has no better chance of remembering it now than yesterdayㅡif he hadn't been able to recall the name to his face then, how was it any easier now? but taehyung's an impatient person and he needs to know. so very badly.

he pulls the pencil out of his mouth with a frustrated sigh, spitting out small pieces of wood he'd bitten off unintentionally. wiping the pencil off on his sleeve, he finally manages to move his gaze away from the boy and to the teacherㅡthe board is filled with numbers and symbols that taehyung could have sworn hadn't been there a few seconds ago.

i'll distribute your papers in the last five minutes of class, he recalls mr. choi saying. he shifts restlessly in his seat, twisting his pencil between his fingers as his eyes dart straight back to anonㅡdistractedly, he observes that his hair's a rat's nest but still looks notably soft. taehyung wants to touch it.

i'm going to touch it, he decides.

telling himself to push away his stubborn determination to not pay attention to what mr. choi is lecturing about, taehyung focuses on the blackboard, trying to make sense of the seemingly meaningless squiggles. it takes a few moments for the formulae on the board to take form and meaning in his mind, but they do, and taehyung starts in shock because holy shit that's never happened before.

after a short period of absorbing the contents of the board, the only thing left that he can't understand is the fact that he can understand everythingㅡand just like that he understands that too.

kim motherfucking namjoon, taehyung thinks to himself with a begrudging respect. recalling the previous day, the boy had seemed more eager than taehyung himself to assist him in his studies (an easy task considering that taehyung was not in the slightest eager), cornering him in the library after school and sitting him down with textbooks he'd never set eyes on before in his life. his mother had only deadpanned at him when he'd showed up home two hours late claiming earnestly that he'd been studying with the genius of the gradeㅡhell, the entire school.

he turns his head slightly to glance at namjoonㅡneatly parted hair with his glasses slipping down his nose as he dedicatedly takes down notes. if he hadn't been a certified klutz and basically married to his books, his height would have made him a valuable asset on the school's basketball team.

but then again, park jimin is captain of the team and height isn't exactly, well, his forte.

taehyung shakes his head and returns his gaze to the front of the classㅡhe'd never been able to concentrate on one thing for more than a couple minutes. it takes a bit of blinking for him to register that the blackboard is wiped clean and mr. choi is nowhere in sight.

taehyung immediately panicsㅡhow long had he blanked out? they'd never gotten their papers back, class couldn't be over. instinctively, he searches for anon.

and he almost sighs in relief when he locates himㅡhis head is lowered now and his fingers are tangled into his hair, but he's there. taehyung's determined not to look away from him for a second any more, else he'll get distracted again and just like that anon won't be there and he'll have to wait a whole. day. more. which he's certain he won't survive.

"taehyung?"

goddammit. tearing his gaze away from him reluctantly, taehyung tilts his head up to meet mr. choi's gaze. "sir?"

his face is unreadable as he says, "look down."

taehyung looks downㅡhis paper's been placed on the table, bright red marks covering the sheet. his first instinctive reaction is to cringeㅡit looks just like all his other returned test papers. but as he takes a closer look, he realizes that it's filled with ticks, not the crosses taehyung's used to.

baffled, taehyung flips it overㅡthere are a few crosses on this side, but at the very bottom, a 46/50 is encircled, a dumb-looking cartoon of an open-mouthed person next to it with EXCELLENT scribbled in large.

and he's ecstaticㅡnot for himself, but for shy, hiccuping anon. i knew the guy was a genius!

"you should be proud of yourself," mr. choi speaks. there's a smile on his face now. "because i most certainly am."

taehyung is overwhelmed with prideㅡbut again, not for himself. still, he nods and returns the smile. "i'll do even better next time, sir." without any help.

his teacher hums in response before moving past him, and taehyung has to control every fibre of his being from darting out of his seat. just a few more minutes, he fixates his gaze on anon, you can tackle him to the ground if you have to, just hang in there for a few goddamn more minutes.

when the bell rings, taehyung gets up so fast that his chair flies out behind him.

cursing under his breath, he fixes it upright before speed-walking to the front of the class. anon's still packing his bag, almost in slow-motion as if lost in his own thoughts, but then taehyung slams his palms into the desk with unintended force and anon starts so hard that taehyung's almost concerned.

"hi again," he greets, hoping the other would stop packing his things for a second to look up and see that he really means no harm. taehyung notices with dismay that another flinch goes through the boy's body with his wordsㅡanon had warned him that he was socially awkward, but this was just ridiculous.

for a second the other's gaze lifts, oh-so-slightly, and with it taehyung's hopes soarㅡbut it drops as quickly as it had risen, back down to a pencil rolling off towards the edge of his desk. anon only stares at it glumly, making no move to intercept its fall, so taehyung does and hands it to him impatiently.

"dude, snap out of itㅡ"

"h-hi." anon practically forces the syllable out of his mouth, surprising both taehyung and apparently himself from the way his doe eyes enlarge even further. seemingly unsure as to what to say next, he begins cautiously, "um, look, i'm sorry i ran into you the other daㅡyesterday. that was yesterdㅡokay, um. i'll look where i'm going next timeㅡ?"

he trails off uncertainly as taehyung releases a laugh. "stop playing dumb, kid."

"oh, um." dropping his head down, anon collects the last few articles off his desk and stuffs them away. "sorry."

taehyung abandons the idea of stroking anon's hair for todayㅡhe's worried that the boy will break into tiny fragments if he even attempts to touch him. there's something delicate about him that's making taehyung want to yell at him to man the fuck up and pull him into a bear hug at the same time. "hey, why so serious? we did great! as in, you did great, so i did great. i didn't do anything myself," he clarifies, scratching his arm. he repeats stupidly, "you didㅡgreat."

"iㅡi guess." anon exhales, and taehyung takes the moment to weigh out how fucking different anon through text and anon in person are. maybe after all the things he'd said to taehyung, he feels embarrassed seeing him face-to face? it sounds plausible enough, but taehyung's still unconvinced.

it's as anon's zipping his bag closed that he speaks againㅡit's not the suddenness of him talking that takes taehyung by surprise but how quiet his voice has become, and how he's suddenly speaking a lot faster, as if trying to get everything out before he regrets it. "my parents just have high expectations because hy-hyung did amazing in school and i have to live up to that, r-right? and extra-curricular activities never work out for me soㅡso it all comes down to my grades and i justㅡi have to be perfect orㅡ"

"hyung?" taehyung immediately regrets interrupting him with something as dumb as that, but it's too late nowㅡanon closes his mouth abruptly and only replies with two words when he opens it again.

"my brother." freaking duh, taehyung.

though still internally punching himself for bringing anon's outburst to a close, he forces on a grin. "you never told me that you had an older brother!"

"i ... have an older brother."

"i'm learning so much about you today!" taehyung claps in glee. "like, you have an older brother, and, uh," he pauses, "lots of other stuffㅡso all that's left is your name!"

"um, sure." anon's eyes flicker away, then back to himㅡit's now that taehyung notices how he never looks him straight in the eye. it's always his lips or his nose or his left earlobe or right past him, but taehyung can tell he's trying really hard to meet his gaze. "wow will you look at the time. i shouldㅡ"

"seriously? we're still doing this?" taehyung exclaims incredulously as anon shoulders his bag while solemnly observing the floor. he squeaks something in response and taehyung feels himself die a little inside. "you're so red, oh my god. you cutie."

"listen, iㅡ" anon tries to squirm past him for the door, but taehyung moves to block him involuntarilyㅡwhat's voluntary is that he continues to stand there. "i really should go, pl-please move."

tell me your name and i'll move, taehyung wants to say. he wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him violently, get him to look energetic and alive and happy. he's still considering the tackling-to-the-ground thing.

but anon's staring at taehyung's collar with a weak sort of defiance, and it looks so familiar to him that it almost physically hurts. it's only when the other drops his head down and his bangs shift to cover his eyes that it all comes crashing down on him.

taehyung is standing face-to-face with the person he once wasㅡa stammering, frightened mess, constantly worrying about his grades but never satisfied. secluding himself from his own age group, unconfident in his abilities or anything about himself, for that matter.

and all that flinchingㅡhow hadn't he made the connection before? the long, unkept hair used to shield his gaze from others when necessaryㅡtaehyung had done that, too. he wonders if anon eats his lunch in a bathroom stall like he once had, or makes excuses to skip out on as many p.e. classes as possible.

taehyung is still that personㅡjust a little bit, somewhere deep inside. but times have changed, and seeing how he once was, how he acted around other peopleㅡit almost chokes him up. he wants to reach out to him, he wants to help.

but what hurts most of all is how anon could possibly say all those things to him when it's fucking obvious that he's the one in need of someone saying them to him.

there's so much taehyung wants to say and do at that very moment. but instead he does the two things that he doesn't want to.

he says nothing, and he moves out of the way.

the other's out of the door in a flash, without a thank you or a nod or an anything. taehyung sinks into his seat, replaying the entire exchange through his mind. he wonders if he's screwed up, has scared anon off foreverㅡand shakes his head. he's just shy, he consoles himself. 

"so." yoongi has moved to stand over his deskㅡtechnically anon's deskㅡgaze in the direction of the doorway. taehyung's too exhausted to be surprised. "was that your guy?"

he nods in response, then realizes that he barely moved his head an inch and voices, "yep."

yoongi drops his gaze down to him, blinking. "hey, what's with that face?" taehyung can only find it amusing that yoongi's still going on with the whole be-nice-to-taehyung thing. "you look like you're going to cry, dude, holy shit. did you not get his name?"

taehyung shakes his head. "i'llㅡi'll get it next time."

"tomorrow's the last day of school," yoongi points out.

"then i'll fucking get it tomorrow, okay?"

"did he leave anything in his desk?" yoongi fumbles under the table, then sighs when he comes up with nothing. "that's too bad, you could have had a little cinderella story where you waltzed around asking who it belonged to. only, well, you know what he looks like. ah, that wouldn't have worked thenㅡ"

"i'm not," taehyung grits his teeth, "in the mood for this right now, yoongi."

"good." it's his tone that makes taehyung look upㅡthere's a self-satisfied smirk on yoongi's face that matches it perfectly.

"because," yoongi continues, "his name is jeongguk."

"wㅡ" taehyung jerks his head back like he's just been slappedㅡby every member of bigbang because he's ready to scream with happiness. "wait. wait wait wait. oh my god are you serious?"

yoongi's expression tells him that he'd just yelled the words but he doesn't even care. "jesus christ taehyung, yes. he's my classmate too, you know." as if on an afterthought to say something satirical, yoongi adds, "also we don't all have the memory span of a goldfish."

"it's a cute name, right? jeongguk." taehyung tries it out with his own mouth a couple timesㅡit sounds amazing. "oh my god, yoongi, thank you so much."

"it's just a shame, y'know?" yoongi says almost thoughtfully, as taehyung gets out of anon'sㅡjeongguk, it's jeongguk's seat, moving back to his own for his things.

collecting all his inventory into one pile, he stuffs it into his bag in one go and looks up. "what's a shame?"

yoongi shrugs, scratching his chin. "you know..." his finger inches up to tap his own lips in a seemingly casual motion, and taehyung freezes momentarily in the middle of zipping his bag.

"shut up," he snaps, closing his bag with unnecessary force and a sense of finality.

yoongi is grinning as he pulls on his lower lip innocently. "it's just such a shame..."

"don't you fucking say it, yoongi," taehyung growls, lifting his bag almost threateningly, but yoongi says it.

"ㅡthat he doesn't have an upper lip."

"LISTEN, IT'S FUCKING ENDEARING OKAY?"