YOONGS:
TAEHYUNG

YOU:
YES

YOONGS:
LETS PLAY A GAME

YOU:
OK

YOONGS:
IM GONNA STATE THREE FACTS ABOUT MYSELF, TWO TRUE AND ONE FALSE

YOONGS:
YOU FIND OUT WHICH ONE IS FALSE

YOU:
OKAY

YOONGS:
O K A Y

YOONGS:
I WANT UR EYEBROWS

YOONGS:
I GO TO UR SCHOOL

YOONGS:
AND

YOONGS:
I HAVE THREE PET BADGERS

YOU:
NO. 3 IS FALSE

YOU:
BC

YOU:
NOW

YOU:
U

YOU:
ONLY

YOU:
HAVE

YOU:
T W O

YOONGS:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU:
(though technically u going to my school is also false bc)

YOONGS:
(shut up)

YOONGS:
IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY RN?????? LIKE???? I COULD WRITE A RAP ABOUT HOW HAPPY I AM (and it would actually be good *coughs softly*)

YOU:
was that a diss,, to my rapping skills

YOONGS:
lol yea

YOU:
.. ok but

YOU:
did u want to get rid of bob that bad smh

YOONGS:
n O

YOONGS:
IVE JUST BEEN SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT FINDING HIM A NEW HOME AND NOW THAT I KNOW THAT HES WITH MY BEST FRIEND IM JUST IM SO RELIEVED TAEHYUNG

YOONGS:
honestly tho, im surprised ur parents are chill with it lol

YOONGS:
like maisy daisy n bob were these lil baby orphaned badgers when i saw them first and i fell in LOVE but obviously taking care of badgers isnt easy yk?? like my mom's a garden freak and the thought of them digging up the whole place had her hesitant for the longest time

YOONGS:
but ofc she eventually succumbed to their big brown eyes 

YOONGS:
¿¿ hellooo

YOU:
yoongi

YOU:
this literally just hit me wtf but

YOU:
but

YOU:
i havent asked them yet

YOONGS:
wht

YOU:
uh now that i think about it i havent even like, mentioned this to them

YOU:
i mean sure we've been considering getting a pet

YOU:
as in like a dog??? or a cat????

YOONGS:
but

YOONGS:
you

YOONGS:
youre serious?

YOU:
yeah..

YOONGS:
didnt they see u walk into the house with a mf badger in your arms

YOU:
they only got home a while ago

YOONGS:
taehyung?

YOU:
yeah

YOONGS:
ur dead

YOU:
AND H E R E I WAS THINKING YOUD BE SUPPORTIVE

YOONGS:
look im sorry but

YOONGS:
WTF wH Y wouldnt u mention this to them

YOU:
it just didnt seem like an easy topic to start??

YOU:
"hey mom you know yoongi? haha no of course u dont, he's never come over and ive never mentioned him before in my life but ok listen he has this hella cute badger ㅡ YES MOM I SAID BADGER ㅡ so like im gonna keep it now is that ok????"

YOONGS:
youve never talked to your mom about me?

YOU:
oh my god yoongi, STICK TO THE CONVERSATION

YOONGS:
this is the conversation

YOONGS:
how could u never mention me to your parents? we've known each other for years :(

YOU:
y o o n g i

YOONGS:
i mean you'd think it would come up at least,, once?

YOU:
oh my gOD yoongi i was just trying to make a point

YOU:
of course ive mentioned you to my parents

YOONGS:
wAIT FOR FUCKING REAL HDSJXSM

YOONGS:
WHAT DID U SAY ABOUT ME

YOU:
nothing

YOONGS:
but u just said that you diddd

YOU:
-that im going to tell you

YOONGS:
oh

YOONGS:
ohO

YOONGS:
gotchu (;

YOU:
ok no

YOONGS:
no no issok (; i understand (((;; completely ((((;;;

YOU:
you clearly dont

YOONGS:
oh but i do hoho

YOU:
sigh,

YOONGS:
prove me wrong then!!

YOONGS:
what did u tell ur parents about me hmMm

YOU:
things

YOONGS:
well then i guess ill just have to assume,,, what these """things""" are ((;;;

YOU:
go ahead

YOONGS:
........

YOONGS:
thats not what ur supposed to say

YOU:
dont care

YOU:
its better than having to tell you

YOONGS:
did you say negative things about me or smth?? ):

YOU:
no

YOONGS:
okaaayyyy

YOONGS:
gonna elaborate on that or

YOU:
bob has a cute nose

YOONGS:
..what kind of fuckin topic transition

YOU:
he just nuzzled into my hand and like,, his nose is really cute yoongi

YOU:
maybe my parents wont freak out that much yk??

YOU:
he's just so small n cute

YOU:
+ you said it was like taking care of a dog so

YOU:
hes like a small cute dog!!!

YOONGS:
except that hes NOT a dog

YOONGS:
HE IS!!! A!!!! BADGER!!!!!

YOU:
i was literally at ur place an hour ago, the least you could have done is inform me about all this essential information yk :--(

YOONGS:
ok listEN HERE Y O U are the one who rapped on my window at nine fucking a.m to scream "i hAVE MADE UP MY MIND!!1!1!!" and sat for the nEXT BLOODY TWENTY MINUTES HAVING A FAREWELL CEREMONY FOR BOB LIKE ????? AND THEN Y O U PICKED HIM UP AND TROOPED OUT OF MY HOUSE WITH HIM WITHOUT AS MUCH AS A "GOOD MORNING" FOR ME SO EX C U S E ME FOR NOT """""INFOMRING YOU ABT ALLTHIS ESSELNTIAL INFORMAITOJN YK""""

YOU:
.......,.,

YOU:
i mean

YOU:
it didnt rlly look like a good morning for u so

YOONGS:
OF COURSE IT WASNT

YOONGS:
YOU WOKE ME UP AT NINE AM BY POUNDING ON THE WINDOW, LIKE BOY !!! THERE !!! IS !!! A !!! DOOR !!!

YOU:
I !!! WAS !!! EXCITED !!! AND !!! I DIDNT !!! WANT !!! TO WAKE UP !!! UR PARENTS !!!

YOONGS:
U DID !!! WAKE UP !!! MY PARENTS !!! BTW !!!

YOU:
O SHIT !!! REALLY !!!

YOONGS:
YES !!!

YOU:
SORRY !!!

YOONGS:
CAN WE STOP THIS !!!

YOU:
OK !!!!

YOU:
ykw im just gonna get it over with 

YOU:
just checking but,, what happens to bob if they say no to keeping him?

YOONGS:
ill just have to find somewhere else for him to stay ig

YOONGS:
no pressure ok??

YOONGS:
hey hey take bob with u and see if the big brown eyes thing work on them!!

YOONGS:
lol i was joking u probs shouldnt do that theyll have a seizure

YOONGS:
taehyung

YOONGS:
tae i was kidding

YOONGS:
taehyung?

YOONGS:
fuck

···

YOU:
well

YOONGS:
I HAVE BEEN HOL D IN G MY BREATH THIS ENTIRE TIME

YOU:
its been half an hour

YOONGS:
wh

YOONGS:
woah lemme just give myself a lil pat on the back goddamn!!!

YOONGS:
oK BUT

YOONGS:
WHAT TOOK U SO LONG

YOU:
w e l l

YOU:
my mom was holding a dish of food when i walked up to her (naturally) and she dropped it as soon as she saw bob (nATURALLY) and i had to clean it up (NATUR A L L Y) and she said that if a badger was what i wanted then she was totally fine with it as long as i properly understood how to take care of one and was willing to take complete responsibility of him

YOU:
all v natural ofc!!!!!!!!!

YOONGS:
aww hey its ok :( im sure we can find somewhere else for him

YOONGS:
oh wait 

YOONGS:
what

YOU:
(:

YOONGS:
and and, your dad???? is he?????

YOU:
if my mom's okay with it, he's okay with it

YOONGS:
wait

YOU:
you know what this means?????

YOONGS:
that ur parents are kinda freaking amazing like wT F

YOU:
IT MEANS THAT U ONLY HAVE TWO BADGERS

YOONGS:
I ONLY HAVE TW

YOONGS:
i only

YOONGS:
wow its real

YOU:
if you get emotional on me i will not hesitate to slap you with a goddamn fish

YOU:
just remember that it's for the best okay?

YOONGS:
the best for bob

YOU:
and !!! the best for bob means that he's not bob anymore!

YOONGS:
¿qué?

YOU:
i forgot to mention before buuut

YOU:
im changing his name (:

YOONGS:
i don't recall giving u permission to do that ?¿?¿?

YOU:
i dont recall needing your permission ?¿?¿?¿?

YOONGS:
.

YOONGS:
eh whatever he never responded to that name anyway

YOU:
..i dont think he'd respond to any name but

YOONGS:
OK DO YOU WANT TO NAME HIM OR NOT

YOU:
lol sorry

YOONGS:
what are u naming him though

YOONGS:
i think i deserve the right to veto

YOU:
well i mean

YOU:
only if i ever tell you what im naming him,,,,,

YOONGS:
what

YOU:
hm?

YOONGS:
did you just suggest that you're not going to tell me the name of my badger

YOU:
¿when did i say that?

YOONGS:
taehyung,

YOU:
oKAY I HAVENT DECIDED YE T

YOU:
ill think about it and get back to u okayy

YOONGS:
you BETTER get back to me u noodle

YOU:
uh huh

YOU:
listen i gotta go now so

YOONGS:
wTF THIS AGAIN

YOONGS:
WHY DO U KEEP GOTTING TO GO

YOONGS:
gotting to

YOONGS:
why do u keep

YOONGS:
wait

YOONGS:
something doesnt sound right

YOONGS:
got to

YOU:
ill leave you to that

YOU:
later yoongs (:

YOONGS:
gotting to..