I hate them.

I am afraid of them. These notes. With drawings of smiley faces in black and yellow marker. With notes that say "Choose happy" or "We love you." Terrifying.

Why? They remind me of her. I can hear me, my younger self, from 8th grade. I remember saying "Maddie! Maddie!" Why did he do that? I want to go back, I want to save her, I want to hug her and say everything's alright, and that she's safe. But she wasn't safe. I couldn't save her. That's why I'm scared. What if I can't save those I love? What about Jack? What would happen if Jack was hurt by what is my fault?

...

Do you know what an anomaly is? Best I can say is something otherworldly!" I laugh, slightly smacking the desk. It's not funny to me, but being exaggerative and lovably bubbly is what I do everyday! It's my job, to entertain.

I freeze at the feeling of eyes glaring into the back of my neck. I pause the recording. I spot his miserable, apathetic eyes in the hallway. I pity him. His eyes are always red from aged tears and dark with sleepless nights. I offer a smile, before he mutters: "Hello, Jack."

"Heya!" I return, trying to lift his spirits.

He looks back with those once pretty and crystal blue eyes, now tearstained and pathetic, pale red eyes. I walk over to him, as he opens his mouth to speak, cupping his face to keep him from letting out anymore disturbed and distraught words. "I know that look. What's up?" I ask, slightly tilting my head.

His eyes spike with warm tears, as the salty water falls down his cheeks, as that red is once more refreshed. I give him a hug. This is important. He's upset. I want to help him. "Nothing's okay, anymore, Jack..." he breathes, his fingers touching his cheeks as steamy tears fall. Marcus is upset. I understand. Yet for now, all I can do is hug him and rub his back.

"Hey... just lay down with me, okay? It'll all be okay, everything will be okay, I swear, hon." I mutter, helping him to his bedroom. He nearly melts into me, as I help him to lay down. His body feels so light, he has never weighed much, but it had always worried me. I allow him to bury his head in my shoulder. This is more important than anything, if he needs help, I would give anything. That's what love is to me, and I am shameless about who I love.

Marcus's tired eyes give one last dreary and sleepy look. His arms wrap around my waist, and I hold him back. "You're safe here, love." I whisper. He seems grateful, as he sleeps with a somewhat smile. The first smile in awhile, and I can't help but grin. Oh, how much I love him.

I grab my phone and earbuds from my pocket, and pull up a playlist. It's calm, yet fast enough for me. I hook up my earbuds, stuff my phone back in my pocket as I hug him and rub his back. My eyes drift shut almost subconsciously, plus, they were so heavy. My gaze watches the other boy one last time, before I feel my body begin to drift into a peaceful state of warmth, love, and sleep.

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Quite a short chapter, but I just wanted to start this. The project is easy to write and read, so yeah.