|Ch.20

Xiao Zhan was in the headquarters with Bogum, Mark and, a woman who seemed to be a black agent. They were in a middle of a discussion when Deoksim barged in. Naru and Haru were following her silently.

Zhan was shocked to see her. He hadn't seen her for months and didn't even contact her because of the mission he's currently assigned in.

He stood up immediately seeing her."Deoksim, what are you doing here?",he was looking thunderstruck seeing her.

She sent him a glare before looking at Bogum completely ignoring her secret boyfriend. "Sir,I heard that you all removed my name from the new mission"

Bogum avoided the eye contact. "Ah,Deoksim, you have given a vacation. You shouldn't be he—"

"Cut the bullshit ",Deoksim snapped. "I want to be in this mission. Add me too"

Mark,"Deoksim, listen —"

Deoksim, "Mr.Lee,I didn't come here as Sol-ah's niece. I came here as a red agent. What right do you have to remove my name? Higher ups had added my name but you all removed it and hid everything! ", She seethed in anger and her anger rise to a furious emotion seeing their guilty looks.

Bogum looked at Naru and Haru who were just blankly staring at them. Their loyalty lies with Deoksim no matter what.

"Haru,did you really go against my words? I wouldn't have been surprised if it was Naru but you too?",Bogum asked in a disappointed tone.

Haru,"Uncle,it was upto her if she wanted to participate in or not. As she said,you don't have rights to decide when her name was already in the list"

Zhan was trying to get Deoksim's attention this whole time but she wouldn't even give a single glance at him. He could understand why. "So,are you saying that you want to participate in the mission which is about killing Kim Sol-ah?Are you okay with it?"

Zhan was succeeded in taking her attention this time. "Are you sure you are ready for a mission like this? We are literally going to hunt down Kim Sol-ah. Would you be able to kill her if you faced her? Tell me Kim Deoksim?is this what you are planning? Or you have something else in your mind?"

Deoksim faced him and looked him in the eye without any hesitation. Clenching her fists,she answered. "Yes",The whisper came out through her gritted teeth. "I will kill her if it is me who is going to face her. Any more questions?",...."Look at uncle Mark. He's Sol-ah's best friend. And uncle Bogum? Isn't he like a brother to Sol-ah? And you?Didn't you say that you owe her?She saved you. And you all are planning to murder that person! What a sarcastic question are you asking me Xiao Zhan? If you can kill her,then why can't I?"

Bogum,"Deoksim, you don't understand. Bringing back Sol-ah means putting your whole family in danger! Even if she was given the anti vaccine,we can't guarantee that she'll be cured! She already had the split personality disorder! The vaccine can only destroy the poison in her blood stream. It will bring her conscious back but we can't cure the split personality disorder in her. It's a mental disorder Deoksim! No matter what you planned under our skin,we'll have to kill her! "

Bogum had seen right through her. Deoksim was the closest to Sol-ah. Her killing her aunt? That will never happen. Deoksim is not that courageous. She will never be able to pull the trigger to Sol-ah. Without any experience in life,she is trying to risk her family. She's ready to take the risk.

Bogum pulled out a small small black box from his coat. He placed it on Deoksim's palm. "This is the anti vaccine. You don't have to try stealing this. I'm giving this to you. Think hundred times what you want to do. I'll let you in to the mission. Choice will be yours once you face her"

With that he walked away.

Zhan looked at her heaving a sigh. "You are too stubborn",he mumbled before turning to the other black agent. "Let's go",with that they also left.

Mark looked at Deoksim's blank face. "Deoksim, let's talk"

•••

"Here",Mark gave her a hot chocolate and stood next to her. Both of them were in the rooftop of the building, looking at starry sky.

Leaning on the railing, Deoksim waited till he speak.

"...did you really think it was easy for us?",He asked.

Deoksim didn't answer.

Mark,"Sol-ah grew up with me. We were partners and became friends. I know her whole life. Trust me,it's not easy for us. None of us wanted this to happen. Bogum and me argued with higher ups many times. Xiao even requested a resignation not wanting to continue this"

Deoksim slowly drank her hot chocolate milk.

"But at the end of the day,we are responsible for the safety of common people"

Deoksim, "Can't we fake her death? She had done it once"

Mark smiled. "She faked her death because it was her punishment. Plus, as Bogum said,how can we be sure that this anti vaccine would work? It works for people who doesn't have the split personality disorder. But Sol-ah—we can't be sure"

"But atleast —"

"Deoksim, I'm sure that Naru and Haru must have explained you why we can't save Sol-ah. Even if we bring back her consciousness, she'll have to die. She had done crimes after crimes. Those families need justice. It wasn't a single murder. You know the law.....Let's say we can do something in the court saying she wasn't in her senses. Then what,she'll be handed to a mental asylum and will be locked forever. It's a  complete risk to let her out. Do you want her to live like that?"

"Still,she will atleast be able to live! Jail or mental asylum or wherever!she'll be living! You are her best friend! How can you be this cruel to her?!! Do you want her to die?!",Deoksim yelled in frustration.

Mark sighed and gazed at the sky. "What do you even know Deoksim?I want her dead because she is my best friend"

Deoksim widened her eyes not believing what she just heard.

"You don't know anything. Indeed you have heard about her miserable life. But do you know how it felt like?",He asked with a serious tone. Glancing at her from the corner of the eye,he smiled sadly. "What have you heard?mn? She was kidnapped when she was 6 and got tortured and killed people and met her family. Then killed her enemy, faked her death became a red agent. Isn't it all you know?"

Deoksim kept looking at him.

Mark,"....She was raped at the age of 15. You know it?"

Deoksim was thunderstruck. She didn't know! Her eyes went wide. No,she couldn't believe it! 15?! "W –What?",her irises kept shaking.

"I guessed right. Your family hid those torturous moments. They didn't want you to know. More like they didn't want to speak about it. It's too painful for them",Mark said still gazing at the sky. "That was one moment in her life Deoksim. I have seen every dark scene and had gone through them with her. I still hear the screams of people I killed. They come like a nightmare to suffer me. Sol-ah must be going through the same thing. The after effect is too much that we want to kill ourselves. It isn't heroic Deoksim. Killing is not heroic. It's torturous. If I weren't given a chance to correct myself, then I'd have probably killed myself out of guilt"

"Why do you think Sol-ah had that split disorder? She couldn't recognise herself after all the crimes she had done. She doubted herself. She didn't know if she was good or bad. She sometimes thought of herself as a criminal and the next day,she wanted to be a sister to her brothers. Everything was messed up in her life. And now,again she's trapped in that maze", Mark looked at Deoksim's teary eyes. "...when she finally came out of that maze,what would be left for her? A mental asylum?A jail? A loads of crimes she had no idea she committed? Will she really accept to live with such a life? Will she?"

Deoksim opened her mouth but couldn't say a word. Tears rolled down like a river from her eyes.

"Years ago,she had the intention of killing herself Deoksim. She almost did it if it weren't for Bogum who stopped her. But right now,no one can give her a hand. Even if she was given a hand,she'll never accept it. All she needs is......to be free. She doesn't want to get involved in this mess again. Let her go Deoksim. That's her wish. Let her be free from these clutches. Let's hope that God knows what to do. Only the universe can give her the justice she never had"

Deoksim felt like a huge rock had shoved in her throat. She felt Mark patting her shoulder. "You are free to decide if you still want to join the mission or not"

With that he walked away.

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