(A/N: You might be wondering why this chapter is different all of a sudden, well, it's because I only kept the title, this chapter is a completely new one, that gives us more insight on Kiyan's life instead of his shenanigans.)

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[3rd person POV]
As he stood there, he relived all those terrible happenings again.

He could see the blood splattered on the green grass of their garden, all the people crowded around the house. He could hear the screams of his mother, the wails of the ambulance...and he could clearly remember being beside the hospital bed, the doctors swarming around as the beeping of the hospital monitor became one straight line...

To see something so despairing and gruesome at such an early age could break just about anyone, and with these memories...

...he was once again shattered, despising the world.

Before he knew it, his tears were falling along with the raindrops. He held an umbrella above his head, sighing as he crouched down. He stared at a grave as gray as the dreary sky, reading the words he still couldn't bear to see:

"Kaiser Shinigatsu, a loving brother and son."

It had been nine years since the incident, but it still hurt him. It only caused him pain to look at the grave, to remember, but still, he visited whenever he could. In a way...he wanted the pain. So that he would never forget the one who taught him everything...his older brother.

"Hey, Kai, I'm here. It's been a year since I talked to you, sorry about that..." He said, lightly touching the cold gravestone. "Things are getting harder and harder for me everyday. I'm barely even...me, anymore..."

He sucked in his breath, wiping off his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

"It's always Kiyan taking over me...and it's all my fault..." He continued. "I'm not like you, I'm not strong. I'm weak, I can't take the pain...it's been years, but I still can't walk on my own without you..."

He ran a hand trough his hair as more tears slipped from his eyes.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I, Kai?" He said. "If you were here, I'm sure you'd laugh at me. Even after you taught me how to be tough and face the world, I can't even avenge you..."

He covered his eyes with his arm, forcing a smile.

"I'm still your pathetic little brother Kinshiro. I'm still the same lost crybaby you left." His forced smile started to fall. "I couldn't change myself to be strong, not even for you...I must look really worthless right now."

His forced smile finally gave way and he let the tears freely fall down his face.

"I was always right in your eyes, and until now I still haven't done anything to deserve it." He sniffed. "I never became anything you wanted me to be...I'm sorry Kai..."

He traced the carving in the gravestone with his index finger.

"You were always looking after me, protecting me whenever you could, but in the end..." He retracted his hand from the gravestone slowly, looking down. "I couldn't even protect you..."

All of a sudden, his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and flipped it open. It was Haruna.

"Kinshiro." Haruna said. "Are you at that place again?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why do you want to know?" He answered, wiping the tears away with his jacket sleeve.

"I already know where you are. You think I'd call you using the name 'Kinshiro' if I thought you were the other guy right now?" Haruna sighed, annoyed. "Look, being where you are isn't the problem. The problem is, Miss Bossy Pants, has no idea where you are. You know how she can get."

"Hah. Like she actually cares." He said bitterly.

"She does care, you know." Haruna said, pausing for a while to eat a chip. "She's really trying to make it up to you and pay for what she's done."

"What can I say, she's a great liar." He retorted. "And even if she was actually trying to make it up to me, does she really think I'd forgive and forget what happened that easily?"

"She's not lying, Kinshiro. Did you seriously forget that I can read minds? And I know that you're really not the forgiving type." Haruna said irritably. "But who am I to interfere with your weird, fucked-over-a-million-times sibling relationship." Haruna groaned. "In fact, I'd rather not involve myself in any of that, at all. It's one gigantic dumpster fire."

"You're right about that." He smiled sadly.

"Go home Kin." Haruna said. "You have to set aside those tears for now."