Harry was incredibly angry with her when he woke up, but he didn't yell at her and he didn't ask her where she'd gone or why she'd left in the first place. However, he did get incredibly rough after she woke up.

Annabel didn't mind, she never minded. The pain actually felt good and it made her feel something other than just that constant state of gray melancholy. But, there was a part of her that wished he had yelled at her. She wanted him to be angry, she wanted him to scream and ask her questions, she wanted him to show her that she was worth something, she wanted him to show her that it mattered to him whether or not she lived or died.

He was mad and she knew it, but she wanted to feel his anger in more places than just her pelvis.

She spent the night with him again, distance not really much of a concern any longer because she found that she felt more alone than she had before she tried to kill herself. The sun was barely up when she got out of bed.

Annabel was tired, but her mind wouldn't shut up and she needed to do something, anything, in order to make it stop. Harry didn't even notice her absence in the bed, small snores still escaping his parted lips as he slept peacefully. She took her time changing into her running clothes, pulling her hair into a ponytail, and stretching, her eyes shifting to the bed every now and then to see if Harry had woken up.

He'd only moved over a few inches and latched onto a pillow, his face buried in the soft material. Annabel still felt like her mind was smothering her, but something about the way he cuddled with the pillow roused a light feeling in her chest and pulled her lips up in the slightest of smiles as she walked out the door.

Outside, the air was cold enough to give her chills the moment she'd set foot out the door. Annabel didn't mind it though, she actually preferred it because it told her that she was alive and it made her feel something.

Annabel wasn't the greatest at running, really she only ever ran to clear her head. There was never really a need for speed, but she liked to push herself and see just how far she could go and just how much she could take.

Running also provided an opportunity to really take in her surroundings and get lost, especially in the woods where Harry lived. Harry ran too, only he did it more frequently and she only knew that he ran to keep himself in shape. If he had any other reasons, he never told her and her certainly never showed it.

Annabel stuck to the road for a little while because she knew it would be easier for her to find her way back, but, after about five minutes she veered into the woods. Easy wasn't what she wanted, she wanted to get really lost and to maybe awaken some part of herself that wouldn't be so melancholy.

When she had sex with Harry, she felt what she wanted to. She felt awakened and alive and finally everything wasn't so damn gray anymore. His eyes were her favourite during those moments, and in general really, because they were so vibrant and so hard to see through. Harry hid behind many walls and trying to sift through them was something that she liked to do.

She found herself thinking about him a little more than she wanted too and it wasn't long before she was completely lost in both her thoughts and the woods. Annabel stopped running to catch her breath for a moment because she'd stopped controlling it once she recognized that she was lost.

It was beautiful out and she was actually glad that she'd left the road to explore a little. The sun was out, but it was covered by gray clouds, so the entire sky was a mixture of blue and gray. Annabel thought that the weather was fitting considering her current mood. It also made the forest look completely different and it was a nice change even though it was a bit dreary.

The cold was starting to bite at her skin again, but Annabel stuck around for a while longer. She felt much better than she had when she'd woken up and she wanted it to last for as long as possible. Harry was probably up now and she knew that he would think she left again, but she didn't have to tell him when she wanted to go somewhere or do something.

Annabel did feel bad though, because she'd left him like that the last time and it really wasn't kind to make him think she'd taken off again. She turned around and tried to retrace her steps back to the main road. It was a little more difficult than she'd expected, and eventually she ended up just running back in the direction that she'd come from. Sooner or later, she'd end up back at the little clearing where Harry's house resided.

On her way back, she wondered if Harry knew that she'd tried to commit suicide. He was angry with her for leaving and he knew that something had changed, but did he know? Harry was the type of person to notice little things, he had to with the hobby that he'd chosen, but usually he said something or showed her that he knew.

Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. It wasn't exactly a nice topic and that was understandable. Hell, she didn't want to talk about it herself. But she was kind of hoping that he'd notice and that, maybe, he'd show her something that would help or something that would make her feel like her death would at least make a difference to him.

Harry was her only friend and, while she tried not to care for him too much, she couldn't help what her heart decided to feel. And apparently neither could he. They were most certainly more than friends, but they didn't particularly act like a couple either. And it's not like they wanted to either.

Having sex and spending a few nights with each other seemed to cut it and that was more than alright. There was no verbal agreement on this, but each of them knew that it couldn't go further because it would put their hearts on the line and that was dangerous. It was dangerous for Harry because he always, always risked killing her and that would haunt him for the rest of his life if he ended up falling in love with her. And it was dangerous for Annabel because it meant that he could have leverage on her and that he could easily destroy her already blue heart with just the snap of his fingers.

But they were on the same level and they each understood the boundaries. They were both afraid of falling in love and they would stay out of it, even if it meant that one of them had to leave.

Annabel was exhausted and breathing heavily as she walked through the sliding glass door in the back of the house. Neither she or Harry used the front door for some reason. Maybe it was because it was easy to see them and make out their features or maybe it was because it was nicer in the back, but, for whatever reason, they never used the front door.

She grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and plopped down on the couch. There was a shuffling noise upstairs which told her that Harry was awake. He usually didn't make that much noise, but she was too focused on trying to regain her breath that she didn't really give the noise any mind.

He was probably packing a bag to find her or something. Annabel decided that, if he wasn't downstairs by the time her body returned to its normal state, she would head upstairs and let him know that she hadn't left. Maybe she'd even apologize for not leaving him a note or anything that suggested that she'd just gone out for a little while.

Ten minutes had passed and she was feeling back to normal. Harry was still upstairs, but the noise had stopped. Annabel downed the rest of her water bottle before prying herself up and off of the couch and making her way upstairs.

Harry was shoving random clothes into a duffle bag, his expression almost stone-like. Annabel leaned against the doorway and watched him for a moment. It was interesting to actually see what he was like when he thought that she was gone. He was certainly hurt and angry, but it was almost like he didn't want to actually show his emotions, even though there was no one around.

She sighed softly to catch his attention, "I didn't leave."

He immediately dropped the next clothing item he was going to shove into a duffle bag and turned around to face her. Relief washed over his features, but there was also something else that she couldn't quite decipher.

"You shouldn't do that."

Annabel smiled softly, "I know. I just needed to get out and to be alone for a little while. I'm sorry."

Harry stared at her for a long moment, his eyes careful to catch every detail. He hadn't ever really seen her run so he knew that something was still wrong. Questions weren't a good way to get an answer because she could lie easily, but he had another idea.

Harry had never really been good at comforting people with words, but he was incredibly good at comforting people with actions and touches. There was a little place that he'd stumbled across when he was running one morning. It was a few miles away, but it wasn't terribly far and he knew it would be a good place for Annabel. He didn't know why, but he just did.

"Will you come somewhere with me?"

Annabel thought about it for a brief moment. She didn't really want to do anything because her entire body was still fatigued, but it was the least she could do for making him think that she'd abandoned him again.

So, she agreed and he led her out of the house without another word. They walked in silence for a long time and that was okay. Annabel actually liked the silent moments they had because they sort of just understood each other without having to use words and it didn't force them to try and start awkward conversations.

She thought it strange that they were heading so far out into the woods. Harry liked to venture out pretty far, but he'd never taken her out in this direction before. She did have to admit that it was intriguing though.

After a while they walked out into a clearing that had a lake smack dab in the center. A few cliff faces surrounded it on three of three of the four sides and it was absolutely breathtaking. Annabel was stunned.

"How did you find this?"

Harry shrugged as he watched her getting lost in the scenery, "Went for a run and decided to get lost."

He let her have some time to get lost herself before he said anything else. He wanted her to experience the serenity and bathe in the atmosphere for a moment; he wanted her to get lost in herself.

Once she'd had time to absorb everything, he started to strip. Annabel saw him from the corners of her eyes and only questioned him when he'd gotten down to his jeans.

"What are you doing?"

Harry flashed her a smile, "Skinny dipping."

Annabel looked at him like he was insane, "It's freezing."

Harry shrugged in response and continued taking off his clothes. This was part of his plan too. He wanted Annabel to become immersed in her emotions and to realize that she was alive and that it was okay to feel like she did.

She stared at him for a long moment before deciding to join him. She was hesitant because of the temperature. The water was going to remind her of her attempt a few months ago and she wasn't entirely sure that she was ready for it.

But, she was going to do it anyway because, clearly, Harry had brought her here for a reason. Harry waited for her to undress before taking her hand and walking into the frigid water with her. Annabel tried not to gasp as the water made it up to her stomach.

Harry chuckled lightly and glanced at her from the side of his eyes. She couldn't take the half and half much more and pulled her hand away from his only to drop down into the water and let the cold consume her.

When she resurfaced, she decided to float on her back and admire the difference in the sky. The cold seeped into her pores and bled into her bones. She felt her heartbeat in her chest and heard the blood rushing in her ears. It was almost unreal, but it told her a lot about herself that she hadn't really thought of before.

Harry left her to herself until she stood up again. "It's okay to feel the way you do, Annabel. It doesn't mean that you can't experience life and get rid of those feelings. You're alive and that does matter to someone; it matters to me. And I just want you to know that you can talk to me when you need to or when you want to. You don't have to be alone even though you think that you do."

Annabel hadn't expected him to say anything like that and it somehow managed to strike a nerve. She was crying and her arms were wrapped around him before she knew what she was doing.

Harry didn't mind though. He held her and calmed her the best way he knew how to and eventually she was alright again. Annabel surprised him by kissing him softly, "Thank you."