Entry 2:

I signed up for counseling today to discuss what happened to me as a child. My real mother used to have a different man in our house everyday, but her favorite was Roy. He would come and get high with my mother, and on occasion he would feed us by getting food from a fast food joint. I remember the monotonous sound of the clock on the wall and the cloud of smoke fumes permeating the front room. I was never allowed in there because my mother didnt want me seeing her shoot up. She called it "medicine" if I caught her, and I would always tell her to get better. 

Roy. I have nightmares of him coming back to get me sometimes. I never tell daddy because I dont want him to worry. It started when my mother couldnt pay him back for the heroin she used. I heard them arguing one day and it led to my mother being knocked unconscious. After a while he came into my bedroom and asked me if I wanted to play a game called "Candyland". Being locked in a room for hours with my bear got tiring, so I happily agreed. It all started with a clapping game, and it led to groping and touching me in places where I knew it was not okay to touch. From then on, those "games" would last up to an hour and him leaving me hurt and abused. 

After the trial between my daddy and birth mother, Roy was caught and put into prison. A family friend informed us that he gets out in a couple of months, and I am terrified. I just dont want him coming after me or my family. Granting the amount of security around here, my family told me that I will always be protected from that bastard. 

I am just glad this can all come out.

I wiped my tears and went to my daddy's room. There were some things that were really bothering me and the only one who truly understood was my father.

"Daddy? Can I come in?" I asked knocking on his door. He said come in and I was bombarded with all of the bright lights in his room.

"What's wrong sweetpea?"

"Nothing. Im just stressed out."

"Is is college? Now babygirl I told you that your decision to go should not be based...."

"I dont want him to come get me daddy!" I said terrified. My body weakened and I fell to the ground. People just didnt understand how bad I felt all those days when there was no happiness, no help.

"Oh babygirl...he's not going to come after you. You know that the guards, me, and your mom will blow a hole in that man's ass if he ever comes near you!" he said hugging me tight.

"You promise?"

He smiled and wiped my tears. "As long as im breathing he wont come near you. Even then he still wont."

I smiled and hugged him once more. "I love you daddy. So much from the bottom of my heart!"

"I love you more babygirl."

"And daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you can sit in with me during my first counseling session?"

"Of course!"

"Oh thank you so much!" I said getting up. I sat in his chair and he smiled. "Now...I need you to come down to the studio later and hear what Ive been working on. You know my daughter has a very good ear you know."

"You got it daddy! I am here to lend my musical expertise!"

He laughed. "You get it from me. You know I never really cared if you became a music artist. I always thought you were going to do great in whatever you did. I just wanted you to be prepared of how tough it can get. Nevertheless, you are my daughter and I wont let anyone take advantage of you."

"I know daddy. And I didnt know it could get so crazy."

He chuckled. "Oh yea it can."

I got up and hugged him one last time. "Im going to get ice cream. See ya!" 

"Oh wait! Bring me some!!!" he called

"Daddy!!!" I said almost tripping down the steps. Im glad that I was able to get that of my chest. Now I had to face this counseling session.

TO BE CONTINUED