[Angst]
Reki develops a crush on a new classmate and Langa isn't taking it well.

(I'm sorry it's all angst, I have fluff, I promise.)

"Hey, c'mon! Why are you being like this?!" Reki grabs Langa's wrist and the other teen immediately snatches it away, holding the tingling area close to his heart. It's not fair. He loved Reki more than anyone, longer than anyone. So why had he fallen for some girl he just met last week? Why was he so head over heels for her? Why did he devote more of his time to her now? Langa's vision becomes blurry as he loses the ability to speak. Or, more so, he loses the will. Everything hurts. Why couldn't he just be happy for his best friend? Shouldn't having Reki by his side be enough, whether he returned his affections or not?

Reki, now angered by his lack of response, forcefully turns him around, grabbing his shoulders. "Didn't you hear m—" He freezes mid sentence and his gaze softens, all the anger washing away. Langa, the same Langa who barely ever made any expression, the Langa Hasegawa who only shared his smiles with Reki, was crying. But not because of some random asshole or some punk looking to cause trouble, but because of Reki. Reki made him cry. "Woah, hey.. I'm sorry, man, please don't cry.. I didn't.."

Langa sniffles and aggressively wipes at his eyes with the backs of his sleeves. He wants to explain but he can't seem to catch his breath as he kneels to the ground, his breath hitching as he cries. Reki frowns and kneels down next to him, gently rubbing his back. Langa feels immediate warmth and love, but it hurts all the more. He leans into Reki's chest and continues to cry. It feels safe. Soft. Caring. He can hear the beating of his best friend's heart, how it began to spike as Langa's emotions spilled out in front of him. He feels slightly guilty. Reki's a kind soul, it hurts him as well when Langa hurts. Their hearts hurt together.

Everything Reki does is comforting to him but brings him pain at the same time. From the way he gently runs his fingers through his hair, to the way he tells Langa how important he is to him. It's like being stuck in his own personal purgatory; not quite Hell but not Heaven either. His heart ached. It longed to be enveloped in Reki's warmth, to sync with his heart and beat a loving rhythm for their ears only, for each other only. The longing of wanting to intertwine their souls and read each other in ways no one else could. Langa had always wondered if Reki ever thought about the same things, but he knew he didn't.

Langa hiccups once, twice, before sucking in a breath, steadying his breathing. He slowly stands but his head hangs low. "I'm.. sorry, I need t..to leave.."

Reki reaches out for him but Langa's already walking away. Why must it always be this way? Why is Langa always out of his reach? He's there but.. he can't touch him. On the contrary, little did Reki know that it was Langa this time who could not reach the other. Reki was out of his reach, instead falling into someone else's. Or had she fallen into his reach? Who longed for whom? Or was there no longing? Could this just be one of those crushes that comes and goes? Then maybe, just maybe, Langa would have a second ch— No.

Langa holds onto his heart as he runs, his grasp seemingly the only thing keeping it from shattering. No, that's not true, it had already shattered. In fact, it had shattered twice. It shattered for the first time in his life when his dad died. But then he met Reki and he became the glue; he picked the pieces up— the ones his mom had gathered over the years— one by one and, carefully, with all his gentle love, pieced them back together. He tried his best to protect it and shield it from the evil of others around them, as if in a vow to never let it shatter again. Langa never would've thought that Reki himself would be the one to shatter it. Although not on purpose, of course. No, Reki could never, he would never, not on purpose. They were everything to each other. They were each other's happiness, each other's light.

Or so Langa had thought; Reki was his but was he Reki's? It had been one-sided the whole time. The love and care Reki had given him was from the red-head's genuine care for people, not his love for Langa, there was no love. Not the love Langa wanted. And Langa was selfish, he wanted more, he wanted his full affections, all of it. Sure, Reki's friendship was enough. For the time being. But Langa wanted everything; he wanted his full love and attention; not platonically. He wanted to be the only one who ever saw Reki's real genuine smile, trap it in a frame in his heart, and selfishly hoard it for all of time. He wanted to be the only one who ever heard his small chuckles or saw that twinkle in his eyes when he spoke of something fondly or..

Langa stops in his tracks and drops to his knees, then the ground as he slams his fists on the concrete sidewalk; cold and wet with rain he hadn't even noticed had been falling. It was almost as if the sky understood him. No, no of course not.. The sky was pitying— no, mocking him. How could he weep tears for something he foresaw? He knew Reki wouldn't return his affections, they were just friends. He knew that from the beginning. But that doesn't ease the pain, it was more like salt in the wound.

He lets out an anguished cry as he touches his forehead to the ground, the rain mixing with the tears on his face. It's his fault. Why was he so selfish? He could've just been happy for Reki and stayed by his side, pretended everything was alright, pretended that just being in his life was enough. But it wasn't. His heart ached for more and he couldn't soothe the pain with anything that wasn't Reki's love. Reki Kyan.. a sweet and innocent soul, nothing short of pure. But that pure soul had bound his heart in a cruel and unbreakable spell, one whose roots dug deep into his heart and held on for dear life. It was a curse of love, but a twisted love. It protected his heart in a thorny cage that also stabbed it with each beat.

But as harsh as it sounds, Langa loved it. The curse, being in love with Reki, being obsessed with everything involving Reki. It broke his heart to have Reki love someone else but his own affections burned even more, longing for that love. Longing to make Reki his Reki. He clenches his fists on the concrete, dirt and mud getting caught under his blunt nails as he claws at the sidewalk; not that he cares. His forehead had been muddied and so had the strands of hair that fell as his forehead rested on the cold sidewalk. Cold like his unreturned affections.

Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands pull him into a tight embrace. But he doesn't panic, he knows this frame, the way their bodies don't quite fit together because of the size difference, but still warm and perfect nonetheless. Reki. "It started raining and I knew you didn't have your umbrella, so I came after you. But I heard you still crying and I just.. started running. I was worried.. Then I saw you on the ground and called your name but you didn't respond. What are you doing out here like this, man? Why aren't you going home?"

Langa ignores his inquiries and hugs him back tightly as he hides his face in his neck, smiling sadly. His scent has faded slightly from the rain but he still smells like Reki; outside, sawdust, oil, metal, and a small hint of cologne. Reki always worked so hard in his workshop, the rain couldn't wash that away, nothing could. It was Reki's smell. His unique scent. His ambition. "Reki, I'm sorry..! So.. please forgive me.. Don't.. Don't hate me, don't turn on me, just keep loving me.. Love me for me, in your own way, as you've been doing..! Please.."

Reki flusters and looks away, patting Langa's head. He chews his lip, a habit he's developed for when he gets nervous or is thinking of what to say. "O—Of course, don't get all sappy on me.. I love you man, okay? I'd never hate you. So please don't cry anymore, especially not because of me.."

The taller teen nods and turns his head to look at the other. Their faces are so close together.. No. Langa's thoughts betray him. He can't, no matter how much he longs to. Reki will never forgive him. But it's so enticing, and Reki hasn't rejected nor pushed him away as he brings his face closer. The rain comes down hard and loud but his heart beats louder, anyone could hear if it wasn't inside his chest. It beats like a ticking time bomb, the anxiety rising as it can explode at any moment, as shattered and damaged as it is. Next thing he knows, their lips are touching. Everything is cold and wet from the rain. But it's Reki, that's all that matters. Any kiss with Reki is a perfect kiss.

But it wasn't really a kiss, their lips had touched for less than a second before Langa was shoved to the ground; although not by Reki, but by his own force. He had pushed himself away from the other teen. He made a mistake. It's not fair, no matter how much he wants it to be. He can't take that from Reki. Langa wanted it so badly to be his, Reki's first kiss. Honestly, he wanted all of Reki's kisses to be his. He'd be his first kiss and every kiss after that because it'd be them together forever. But it wasn't so. Langa profusely apologizes as he frantically picks up the items that had fallen out of his bag. When had they fallen? When he dropped or after the kiss? Not a kiss. No. Once Reki had finally recollected his thoughts, Langa was already up and rushing home, leaving the red-head confused and alone in the rain. He slowly reaches up and touches his lips. Did Langa just..? "What.. just happened?"