But I'll just sit on my bed eating potato chips and cola and wait for someone to barge in my room to be friends with me

Me :(watching anime in my room) oh how I wish someone would be friends with me. No one wants to be my friend
Random Person:(barges into room)
Me: who are you?
Person: I want to be friends with you
Me: Hello police, a strange man has escaped from the mental asylum, he wants to be friends with me, with a psycho