Pleaseeeee, this was an old one-shot I had made because I had an obsession for Toshiro (still have :p) and I have it still on my works but I will delete it soon (because it is indeed crappy) so I thought of updating it here. Meep. Warning, warning: May contain randomness, sillyness, fluff, cheesy things, sadness (?). Lol, sowwy, I can't write feels xD Here we go!

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A single tear rolled down my cheek. I miss you. Toshiro, I miss you.

I miss your smile, your beautiful eyes and your silver hair. Your sweet voice while you were talking with me and when you were telling me how much you loved me.

The first time we met, I was in the 3rd seat of your Squad and I fell in love from the first time I saw you. I couldn't believe that you liked me when you told me so, but it was true. We were lovers and nothing could stop us from being together.

But all it's my fault. It's my fault that you're lost. When I was fighting that Hollow, I wasn't able to handle it so you came and fought with that Hollow. You were injured bad, but you killed it.

I ran to your side and I saw blood streaming down your body. You coughed blood and tears escaped from my eyes. I was weak but I tried to heal you. You suddenly grabbed my hand and removed it from your wound.

"Don't" you told me and I looked at you surprised.

"B-but Toshiro, you are going to-" I tried to say but I bursted in tears. I couldn't lose you. Not then.

"I know. I love you. I would spend the rest of my life with you if I could. I would never let you alone" you said and I started crying harder.

"Toshiro, I love you! I don't wanna lose you!" I screamed but you hugged me.

"It's okay, everything is gonna be alright" you said weakly.

"No, it's not gonna be alright! You are dying and I can't do anything!" I told you.

"Please, don't cry. You know I love you and I know that you love me, so there is nothing that can be between us" you said and you smiled. Your hug became weaker.

"No, Toshiro, don't leave me please! I love you!" I yelled.

"I love you" you said and you left your last breathe. I looked at your face. Your smile was still there, even if you weren't smiling often.

I stood there, with you dead in my hands and I was crying. It was the first time I cried so much.

Now, I'm all alone, looking at our last picture together. You and I, hugging each other, with the stars behind us and with you smiling.

Three days left. We were getting married in three days, but your death changed everything. Rangiku wasn't the same as before, she was doing all of her paperwork and she wasn't laughing often. Momo was crying every night, before she went to her bed. Everyone changed. We didn't have anyone to call "Shortie" anymore. We didn't have the centre of our company, our leader.

And me? I was crying all day since your death for one week. Everyone tried to make me feel better, but your absent were terrible. I spent days looking at your picture and thinking "what if".

What if I was stronger? What if you weren't there? What if I hadn't met you at all?

All those questions were making me go crazy. I couldn't realize how much stupid I was. After one year from your death, I became captain of 10th division. Yeah, my dream came true.

Now, 5 years passed since your death and I'm starting get used to it. I may find someone else to love, make a family, grow up with him.

But I'll never forget you. I'll never forget all the good times we passed together and all the times you told me "I love you". And the most important thing, I will never forget the last thing which left from you.

Your smile. Your huge smile, which was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. You were very beautiful when you smiled but you told me that I made you smile, so I was the only one who made you beautiful.

I'm sitting in front of your grave and I'm staring at the flowers I brought for you. They are lillies, you always told me that they were your favorite flower.

I'm leaving the flowers and that letter on your grave, hoping you can read it, although you can't.

I will love you always, my ice captain.

Yours, [Name]