Armin: Sh*t sh*t sh*t *running towards me*

Me: What is it?

Armin: Hanji wanted to see if Eren got drunk any slower than a normal person because of his Titan abilities, and I helped her--

Me: WHY would you think that is a GOOD idea?!

Armin: I don't know, but he's no different. Now he's drunk off his a*s

Me: F*ck

Levi: *running towards us on his babeuh legs* WHAT DID YOU DO TO JAEGER?!

Me: ARMIN EXPLAIN TO THE BABY MAN

Levi: *glares at me* We don't have time for this

Me: You don't have the patience for this

Levi: ARLELT EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED

Armin: I will, but we have to RUN!

Levi: ?! Why?!

Eren: Hai guyssssss

Me: OH MAH FRECKLED JESUS, YOU SMELL LIKE ALCOHOL

Eren: Of coursssse, that's what Hanjigavemeeee. Armin, you werethere too!

Me: *covers nose* That smells horrible

Levi: I'm gonna go get that sh*tty scientist.

Eren: Nnooo, she says it's fine, andI'll be good in a mminuttte

Me: I don't know much about drinking, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. How much did she even give you?

Armin: ...

Me: Tell me, Armin

Armin: ...

Me: HOW MUCH DID YOU GIVE HIM

Armin: ... Ten glasses of hard liquor

Me: You're sh*tting me

Armin: ...

Me: I hate you all. Especially you, drunk Eren. Shouldn't you be in a coma? I don't know, but that seems like a lot.

Armin: He can drink a lot because of his Titan abilities, just doesn't handle it well

Eren: I'm, I'm gonna kill ALL of tha Teetawns

Me: Eren, go home. You're drunk.

Levi: No sh*t

Eren: No, I'm gonna, emgonna KILL 'EM *bites thumb*

Me & Levi: SH*T!

Eren: *Titan-shifts*

Armin: OH MY F*CKING GAWD

Titan Eren: *roars and charges forward*

Hanji: It's beautiful! *eyes sparkling*

Me: He's a DRUNK F*CKING TITAN WHAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL ABOUT IT

Hanji: Everything! *fangirl drool*

Titan Eren: *staggers around like the drunk he is*

Me: He's going to crush someone

Hanji: For science!

Levi: I'm getting the brat *zips away like mini-Superman on his 3-D gear*

Hanji: No, wait!

Levi: NO! *cuts Eren out of Titan Eren's neck*

Hanji: D*MMIT LEVI

*the next day*

Eren: *wakes up with a huge hangover* Oh my God

Armin: *walks in* You were so drunk yesterday

Eren: OH MAH GOD

Me: *walks in after Armin* You were being an idiot. You f*cking Titan-shifted saying you were going to kill all of the Titans.

Armin: What did you expect, he was drunk

Me: AND WHO'S FAULT WAS THAT

Armin: Hanji's

Me: AND WHO HELPED HANJI

Armin: Moblit

Me: AND WHO ELSE HELPED HANJI

Armin: ...Me

Me: Isn't Eren underage?

Armin: ... Yeah

Me: You're f*cking kidding me.

Armin: ...

Eren: OH MY GOD

Me: YOU'RE F*CKING KIDDING ME!

Armin: ...

Me: YOU GOT BAE DRUNK WHEN HE WAS UNDERAGE AND JUST FOR SCIENCE. HE'S YOUR FRIEND

Armin: ...

Eren: I--

Me: SHUT UP I'M MAD. YOU'RE LIKE SIX YEARS UNDERAGE AREN'T YOU

Eren: ... Yeah...

Me: DID YOU AGREE TO THAT

Armin: Stahp yelling ;-;

Eren: Yeah

Me: Oh. My. God.

Eren: I'm sorry ;-;

*someone knocks on door and opens it*

Levi: *has a sack slung over his mini shoulder* I'm taking care of the sh*tty scientist.

Sack: *moving*

Me: How are you carrying her, you're shorter than--

Levi: *death stare*

Me: *death stares back*

Armin: *observes death stare match*

Eren: MY HEAD

Me: SHUT UP *turns back* We've been tasked to take care of you because shortie here needs to murder Hanji. So... WhAt IlLs YoU *says in sarcastic sweet voice*

Eren: I was f*cking drunk because of Hanji, I'm not exactly happy about that or this f*cking hangover

Me: YOU MUST STILL BE DRUNK IF YOU'RE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT

Eren: ...