(Note: When a person called Narrator talks, it's actually Nozomi talking.)

Nozomi: Hello, everyone. I'm Nozomi Tojo, and it's time for me to tell you all some stories.

Yuzu: We know who you are already.

Nozomi: Oh...anyway, time for the first story. *clears throat*

Start of story

Narrator: Once upon a time, there were three little idols. Honoka had a straw house, Kotori had a stick house, and Hanayo had a brick house. But one day, the big bad Maki came about, and she was hungry. She wanted to eat the little idols.

Maki: *knocks on Honoka's door* Little idol, little idol, let me in.

Honoka: Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!

Maki: Fine! Then I will huff, I will puff, and I will blow your house down! *blows Honoka's house down*

Honoka: Uh oh!

Narrator: So Honoka went to Kotori's house to hide from Maki.

Maki: *knocks on Kotori's door* Little idols, little idols, let me in!

Honoka and Kotori: Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!

Maki: Okay then. I will huff, I will puff, and I will blow your house down! *blows Kotori's house down*

Honoka and Kotori: AHHHH!

Narrator: Honoka and Kotori fled to Hanayo's house.

Maki: LITTLE IDOLS, LITTLE IDOLS, LET ME IN!

Honoka, Kotori, and Hanayo: NOT BY THE HAIR OF OUR CHINNY CHIN CHINS!

Maki: THEN I WILL HUFF, I WILL PUFF, AND I WILL BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Narrator: Big bad Maki tried to blow Hanayo's house down, but fails to do so. The little idols were happy! But big bad Maki climbed through the chimney, and winded up falling into a pot of boiling water.

End of story

Nozomi: The end.

Eli: Nozomi...that was The Three Little Pigs.

Nozomi: No, it wasn't.

Eli: Yes, it was.

Nozomi: Whatever. On with my stories.

Start of story

Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a girl called...um...Little Red Matcha Hood. One day her mother told her to bring a basket of goodies to her granny.

Mitsuki: Yuu!

Yuu: Huh?

Mitsuka: You have to take this basket of goodies your grandmother, Haruka-San.

Yuu: Okay!

Mitsuki: Also, you have to wear this.

Yuu: Why do I need a red hooded cape?

Mitsuki: Because it's cute. Now go.

Yuu: Alright.

Narrator: So Little Red Matcha Hood went through the forest, as that was the only way to get to her granny's cottage. Nothing really happened on her way there, until Kotone the Wolf showed up.

Kotone: Well, hello there, little lady. I see you're carrying a basket of treats there.

Yuu: That's right! I have to bring these to my grandma.

Kotone: I know a shortcut~

Yuu: Really? Where?

Kotone: *points somewhere* Over there.

Yuu: Thanks! *goes on*

Kotone: Hehehe~

Narrator: Little did Matcha Hood know, Kotone the Wolf gave her the wrong directions! Kotone went to granny's cottage soon after Matcha Hood left.

Kotone: *knocks on Harupopo's door*

Harupopo: Who is it?

Kotone: *high pitched voice* It's me~

Harupopo: *opens door* AHHHHHH!

Narrator: Kotone tied Harupopo up, locked her in a closet, and pretended to be her.

Yuu: Grandma! I'm here!

Kotone: *pretending to be Harupopo* Hello!

Yuu: Hmm...

Kotone: What's wrong?

Yuu: You look awfully strange...

Kotone: Whatever do you mean by that?

Yuu: What big eyes you have.

Kotone: The better to see you with.

Yuu: What big ears you have.

Kotone: The better to hear you with.

Yuu: W-what big teeth you have!

Kotone: THE BETTER TO EAT ALL THE GOODIES WITH!

Yuu: OH MY GOSH! AHHHHHH!

Narrator: Kotone chased Matcha Hood around the house, until Shizuku the Huntswoman came and knocked Kotone out. And nobody heard from or seen her ever again.

End of story

Nozomi: The end

Kaede: Wasn't that Little Red Riding Hood?

Nozomi: No! Next one!

Start of story

Narrator: Once upon a time, there were two sisters who were walking in the forest. While they were walking, they came across a gingerbread house! The girls were so hungry, so they went ahead and started eating the house!

Ruby: Oh my! This tastes so good!

Dia: Yeah, I guess.

Matsuura: *appears out of nowhere* Well, well, well! Looks like I've got visitors~

Ruby: Uh...w-who are you...?

Matsuura: That's not important right now.

Narrator: Some time later, Matsuura the Witch took Dia and put her in a cage. The witch kept feeding her, and let Ruby eat the scraps. At one point, Matsuura asked Ruby to go into the oven and clean it out. But Ruby kicked the witch into the oven, bolted it closed, got Dia out of the cage, and they both got home safely.

End of story

Nozomi: The end.

Riko: That was Hansel and Gretel, wasn't it?

Nozomi: Nope!

Start of story

Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a girl who was walking in the forest. Seriously, what's with little kids and forests? Anyway, she was randomly walking around, when she came across a little house. She knocked on the door, but no one answered. So she just let herself in.

Yuri: *goes inside* Huh. Nice place.

Narrator: In the house was a table, three chairs, three bowls of porridge, and three beds.

Yuri: Let's see...*eats out of the first bowl* HOT! *eats out of the second bowl* COLD! *eats out of the third bowl* Just right! *eats everything in the bowl* Boy, am I tired.

Narrator: So she went and tried to sit on the chairs.

Yuri: *sits on the first chair* TOO BIG. *sits on the second chair* STILL TOO BIG. *sits on the third chair* That's better.

Narrator: But, when she sat on the chair, it fell into pieces under her. She was still quite tired, so she went to try out the beds.

Yuri: *lies on the first bed* TOO HARD. *lies on the second bed* TOO SOFT. *lies on the third bed* This one's perfect! *falls asleep.

Narrator: As she slept, whoever lived in the house had returned.

Rumi: Someone was eating my porridge.

Karenka: Somebody was eating mine, too.

Risa: Someone ate mine, and it's all gone!

Rumi: Somebody's been sitting in my chair.

Karenka: Somebody sat in my chair, also.

Risa: Someone sat in mine, and it's broken!

Rumi: Someone's been sleeping in my bed.

Karenka: Somebody slept in my bed as well.

Risa: Someone was in my bed, and she's still there!

Yuri: *wakes up* H-huh? OMG! AHHHHHH! *runs away*

Narrator: And she never came back to their home again.

End of story

Nozomi: The end.

Miko: That was Goldilocks and the Three Bears!

Maki: You're just taking classic fairy tales and mixing them up, Nozomi.

Nozomi: Okay, okay. You caught me.

Kanna: Can't you finish already?!

Nozomi: Don't worry, Kan-Chan. I saved the best for last~

Neru: Is this the last one?

Nozomi: *nods* Yep!

Tei: Oh, finally!

Nozomi: Now for the beginning of "Shotarella"!

Emi: Why do you call it that?

Nozomi: You'll see~

Start of story

Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful boy named Len. He lived with his stepsisters, Neru and Rin, and his stepmother, Meiko. They mistreat him because they're jealous that he's better looking than they are. But, one day, there was a ball, and his stepmother and stepsisters were getting ready. They didn't let him go, though, because they wanted to capture the interest of Prince Kaito.

Meiko: Yo, Len, were leaving. Don't you dare follow us, or else! *leaves*

Len: It's not fair. Why can't I go? *pouts and crosses arms* Hmmph!

Narrator: At that very moment, a fairy appeared.

Gumi: Oh, hey there, Len!

Len: Who are you?

Gumi: I'm your fairy godmother!

Len: Oh cool.

Gumi: So...what seems to be the problem?

Len: Meiko, Rin, and Neru won't let me go to the ball. It's not fair! I wanna go, too! But not to attract attention, of course.

Gumi: Problem solved!

Narrator: Gumi made a carriage and horses appear, and she made Len wear a beautiful gown.

Len: Why do I have to wear a dress?

Gumi: 'Cause it looks good. Now come on!

Len: Okay.

Gumi: Oh, and this spell will wear off at midnight, so don't stay there too long.

Len: Got it! Let's go~!

Narrator: So they went to the ball.

Rin: *goofy smile* HI, PRINCE KAITO.

Kaito: Uh...hi?

Neru: HOW ARE YOU?!

Kaito: I'm fine, thank you.

*awkward silence*

Kaito: Um...I'm just gonna go now. *leaves*

Narrator: Prince Kaito walked around the ballroom, looking for something to do, until Len caught his eye.

Kaito: *taps Len's shoulder* Excuse me, may I have this dance?

Len: Sure.

Narrator: So they danced for a bit, and got to know each other. Hours later, it was nearly midnight, and he had to leave soon.

*DING DONG*

Len: OH SHOOT. I'm sorry, Prince Kaito, but I gotta run. See ya! *runs off, but leaves one of his shoes behind*

Kaito: W-wait, miss! You forgot your shoe!

Narrator: The prince ran after Len, who was in a hurry to get back home before it was too late. Luckily for him, he made it there on time.

Neru: We're home!

Len: Oh hey.

Meiko: I can't believe that happened to us!

Len: What?

Rin: Prince Kaito ditched us for some blonde chick with a white gown!

Len: I-is that so? (Oh shoot. If he comes here, my cover will be blown!)

*knock knock*

Meiko: I got it. *opens door* OMG! PRINCE KAITO, IT'S YOU!

Kaito: Uh, yeah. *comes in* I'm looking for someone who had this shoe.

Narrator: Meiko, Rin, Neru, and Len tried on the shoe. Meiko was too big, Rin and Neru were too small, but it fit just right on Len.

Neru: Hold up...that woman was you?!

Len: Yeah. It was.

Kaito: Well, now that I've found you, I'd like to ask you something.

Len: What is it?

Kaito: W-will you...marry me?

Meiko, Rin, and Neru: WHAT?!

Len: E-eh?! But, I'm a boy! And boys can't marry each other, can they?

Kaito: Around here, anything goes.

Len: That explains a lot.

Kaito: So, will you?

Len: YES!

Gumi: Hold the bacon. Are you seriously gonna marry a man you just met?

Len: Of course I am!

Gumi: But, you can't do that, man!

Len: Anything goes.

Gumi: *facepalm*

Narrator: So, Len and Kaito got married. Oh, and they did THAT.

Len: *from inside of a room* AHHHH~ KAITO!

Luka: Is that the sound of a shota having it up the butt?

Kai Kim: Yes it is, Luka. Yes it is.

End of story

Nozomi: And that was the end of the story. The end.

Kagami: That...was actually pretty good.

Master: Well done, Nozomi!

Nozomi: Why, thank you. Now, let's go make iced tea.

Everyone: Yeah!

End