It hurt knowing I would never ride home with Tommy again. He was gone now, and there was nothing to be done about it.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a soft breath, trying to ease my pounding temples. Don't think about Tommy. You promised yourself you wouldn't.

I reopen my eyes and walked towards my car. No longer feeling the desire to stay around like a lot of the others did after school, I hurried through the parking lot, listing off colors of cars in my head to keep from thinking about Tommy.

I took deep breaths and felt a massive relief when I saw my car come into view. My feet started going faster, and soon I was unlocking the doors and throwing my things into back.

I really fucking hated school.

-:-

"Tommy?" I called, hugging my arms as close to myself as I could. I glanced around as I drifted through the sweaty bodies of dancing teenagers.

I hated this. Ever since Tommy decided he wanted to "prepare for the real college experience," as he put it, he's been going to these stupid parties. We were barely even halfway through the first semester of our senior year!

Men.

I did my best to block out the music that pounded mercilessly around the house, along with the people who got up close and personal as they danced.

I listened closely to some voices, hoping to catch a hint of my boyfriend's, but to no avail. Frustrated, I decided to try my luck and go to the kitchen. If Tommy wasn't there, I know his best friend, and the host, Reed Milligan, would be there serving up drinks and food.

I shoved my way through the crowd, wishing that it didn't bother me so much. I've been to lots of parties before, a couple like this. They didn't bother me then. But this one did, because I needed desperately to apologize and work things out with Tommy .. Granted that he isn't drunk.

"Oi! Kenz-aai!" Reed whooped in his thick Irish accent as I entered. His stormy gray eyes were filled with content, and he was very pleased with how successful his party was.

I stopped short when I saw him standing in between Cathy Winchester's legs. I flashed my eyes down to the punch bowl a few inches from them as I reluctantly approached them. "Have you seen Tommy?"

Reed moved his head so it was on the side of Cathy's shoulder that faced me. I tried my best not to vomit in the punch as Cathy moved her lips to Reed's neck and left sloppy kisses down to his collarbone.

Reed, looking unfazed for the moment, tilted his head at me and shook it. "I haven't since he went upstairs."

"Upstairs?"

"Yeah." Reed ran a hand up Cathy's outer thigh, though his focus seemed on me right now. "He said something about needing a second to clear his head."

"When did he go upstairs?"

"Mmrrh," Reed mumbled, his head slightly tilting when Cathy nips the skin of his neck. "Maybe fifteen minutes ago?"

Shit. I nodded and thanked him, not waiting for a response as I darted quickly out and toward the stairs. Making it upstairs, I began searching rooms. The occupied bedrooms were filled with half-naked, or fully naked sometimes, couples making out. They were to deeply into lip-locking to notice me.

I came to the last one and placed my hand on the handle, but froze when I heard the familiar voice.

"Tommy, are you sure that Kenzi wot show up?" My heart froze. That voice .. It belonged to my cousin, Eleanor.

"Yes, baby," he mumbled back. "She's pretty pissed at me now. Take your bra off."

I heard shuffling of clothes. Something, deep, deep inside of me suddenly snapped and I slammed the door open.

They were pulled apart quickly with shock and horror when they heard me, but I already had the scene memorized: Him hovering over her, caressing her chin gently, both of them only in their underwear.

"Kenzi." Eleanor stood up first, surprisingly, starting to quickly stumble with buttoning her shirt up without bothering to add the bra first.

I scowled and took a step back when she came toward me. "Don't."

My cousin stopped, her eyes wide with despair. "Kenzi, I'm-"

"Save it," I snapped at her, feeling nothing but bitter anger and resentment. "I don't want to hear your petty apologies. They mean nothing."

"What're you doing here?" Tommy asked, still laying in the bed with a puzzled look. "Aren't you supposed to be at home angry with me?"

"Is this what you do when we fight? Hook up with my cousin?"

Just as Eleanor said "no", he replied with a blunt "yes".

She whipped around and glared at him. I scoffed at her accusing and contempt gaze, my hands on my hips. "How long has this been going on?"

She turned back to me, biting her lower lip and hugging her arms to herself just as I did.

"Well?" I snarled, making her jump.

"T-two months," she whispered.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head, making sure my expression had the best passive look I could muster before saying calmly, "Okay. Well, have fun."

With that, I turned and walked out, my heart breaking into pieces one by one for each step I took.

I shot up on the couch, panting. My cheeks were soaked in sweat, and my eyes burned when I blinked.

I realized soon enough that I wasn't sweating, I was crying. Hot tears kept on rolling down my eyes, falling onto my hands.

I turned to my phone and shakily picked it up. These memories wouldn't stop entering into my sleep as a nightmare until I got closure.

I dialed through the list and stopped at the one person I wish I didn't have to call.

Do it for yourself, Kenzi, I thought. With a bit of mental strength, my finger tapped harder than needed on the dial button.

I shakily lifted the phone to my ear and listened to the painful drawl of each ring. I felt like my phone was torturing me slowly, making this process more and more cutting for me.

On the fourth ring, when I was about to wimp out and hang the hell up, the line clicked and I heard a soft, "Hello?"

I was silent for a moment. It's been a while since I heard that voice. The voice that brought me pain ever since that party.

"Eleanor, we need to talk."

-:-

My foot tapped relentlessly against the brown-tiled floor of the tiny café I was in. My heart pounded inside my chest, and I checked my watch again.

4:42

Damn. I reached my hand up and began gnawing at my fingernails, looking at each entry door for any sign of my kid cousin.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and wondered what I really wanted to say to her. I know I wanted to yell and scream, but I won't. I promised myself to be mature in this conversation. I didn't, however, promise that I would not cry. I cannot control that aspect. I wouldn't want to, anyways.

I've never tried to keep from crying. Its a healthy way to let your feelings out, and it feels nice. Sure, the affects like burning eyes and stuffy noses are a pain in the ass, but it's better than keeping it bottled up to the point you'll explode.

"Kenzi?" I looked back up again and saw Eleanor standing in front of me, behind the chair across from me. She looks as beautiful as she did since the last time I saw her.

And I hated her for it.

"Hi," I managed out as politely as I could, swallowing. "Sit down."

She nodded quickly, taking a seat across from me and playing with her hands. Her short, pixie-cut hair was growing out.

"Kenzi—"

I lifted my hand and leaned forward. "I'm not here for catching up and that sort of bullshit, Eleanor. Can we at least clear that up first?"

She sucked in a large breath, but gave me a small nod. I squinted at her hesitantly, and nodded back. "I'm not going to forgive you yet, to clear that up. I honestly don't want to be around you very much right now; it was hard enough to call you and force myself to ask you to talk. What you did was unbearable, and, for now, unforgivable."

She sniffled, and I couldn't help that I only mustered the slightest bit of sympathy. She deserves the cold shoulder from me despite the childish way I was doing it. For two months, she slept with my boyfriend. She allowed herself to betray me like that, and now she must accept the consequences for doing so.

"I want you to tell me everything, Eleanor," I began, lifting my chin and looking at her in the eye harshly. "Starting from the very beginning."

-:-

Thoughts?

:.Shay Mitchell as Kenzi.: