Allana

Last night Anakin told me everything that I've been meaning to tell him since our paths collided again, but I just couldn't admit anything. It was not right.

I went to bed with a bittersweet taste on my lips. I was confused, my mind was clouded. While I changed my clothes into a white nightgown and let my hair loose, I tried to meditate the events as I took my makeup off.

In the middle of the night, I head Ani screaming, he yelled 'no' and 'mom' constantly and woke me up. I stood up to check on him but then I heard the door opening and returned quickly to my room. I saw his naked back walking through the hallways of the house, his breath was heavy. I decided to give him his space, and returned to my sleep.

The following morning, I sneaked into his room, I was surprised when I noticed he was not there. When I was about to walk out, I saw him in the balcony through the curtains that were dancing with the wind. He was meditating while I walked out and reclined my back on the arch of the door. When I was about to walk back inside his raspy morning voice spoke.

"Don't go." He told me.

"I don't want to disturb you." I said as I turned around.

"Your presence is soothing." He commented as he took a deep breath.

"You had another nightmare last night."

"Jedi don't have nightmares."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Lie to me, shut me out." I sighed. "Ani, I heard you. I saw you leaving your room when I was going to check on you. Jedi do have nightmares...I used to have them." I opened up, knowing that if I did, he'd probably do too. "When Padmé started to receive those threats, I used to have constant nightmares of her being hurt." I said as I approached him and stood behind him. "In those dreams, she died in my arms, and I couldn't save her." I paused for a moment. "Nightmares are nothing to be ashamed of."

When I stopped talking Ani didn't move, he then breathed out and started to speak. "I saw my mother." He told me as he turned around to see me. "She's suffering Lana." I frowned, worried walking closer to him. "I saw her as clear as I see you now." He turned around again and walked a few steps away from me. Hands on hips, after a few seconds, he sighed and stood quiet for a few more. "She's in pain." He turned around again. "I know I'm disobeying my mandate to stay here with you, but I have to go." He said as he walked to me, making me look up into his blue eyes. "I have to help her."

"I'll go with you." I assured.

"I'm sorry. I don't have a choice."

"It's alright. I'll help you. Get ready to leave. I'll tell security to give us a ship."

"Thank you."

[...]

We flew from my home planet in one of the Senator's ships to where Anakin's home is, Tatooine.

When we walked out of the ship a transport was waiting for us outside. It took us to where Ani used to work, a mechanical workshop. I was still disguised as Padmé, so I was wearing another blue dress, that covered half of my abdomen up and its skirt. my hair was tied ip in two buns and a ponytail again. I used a cape to cover my body.

We finally arrived at the place. Anakin's old boss was sitting on a chair trying to fix a small mech droid. Ani spoke in huttese with him, and told him he could help him with it.

He took the dorid's head into his skilled hands and started to work on it. I smiled at him as I saw the little boy that I once knew and grew up with. The alien looked at us and realised that we looked like Jedi, well, Skywalker at least. He then commented that whatever it had happened it wasn't him, scared enough the tool that was on his hand flew out and hit his foot. I told him we are here for another matter, in his language of course, though I must admit, my huttese isn't that good, I understand more than I'm able to speak but, in anyway it seemed that I made my point and he understood.

Then Anakin told him that he was looking for Shmi Skywalker, that's when the old Toydarian looked at him and analysed the young man who is now standing before him. "Ani? Little Ani?" He said weakly. Anakin sent him a glare as he placed the metal head on the small work table before us. The alien's wings opened reflecting surprise. "You are Ani! It is you!" He said as he laughed and flew up to be at Anakin's height. "You sure sprouted, huh? A Jedi! Whattaya know!" He paused. "Hey, maybe you could help with some deadbeats who owe me a lot of money."

"My mother." Anakin told him in a cold tone of voice, straight to the point.

"Oh yeah, Shmi. Uh...she's not mine-a nomore-a. I sold her."

"You sold her?" Ani and I asked at the same time.

"Years ago. Sorry Ani, but you know, business is business, huh. Yeah I sold it to a moisture farmer named Lars, at least I think it was Lars. Believe it or not, I heard he freed her and married her! Can ya beat that?" He commented as his eyes traveled between me and Skywalker.

"Do you know where they are now?" The young Padawan asked.

"Long way from here, someplace over on the other side of Mos Eisley, I think. "

"I'd like to know." Anakin told him in the cold tone of voice of before, his face very serious.

"Sure...absolutely!" Watto said. "Let's go look at my records." He commented, inviting us to walk into his workshop. Couple of moments after he found Shmi Skywalker's record, he gave us an address and after that we started our way to meet up with the Lars.

[...]

We piloted our ship to where their home is, a very isolated place in the opposite side of Mos Eisley, just like Watto said.
"R2, stay with the ship please." I ordered the droid. He beeped and walked back into the platinum transport.

We resumed our walk and met a protocol droid, very well armed. "Oh, hello. How may I be of service? I am C-" It started saying.

"3PO?" Ani asked as I smiled. He enjoyed very much telling me how he built the droid to assist his mother when and if he ever was away from home.

"The maker." 3PO said after a few seconds. "Master Ani!" It bowed his head. "I knew you would return. I knew it! And Miss Pad- oh, you are not her, my apologies."

"No worries 3PO, I'm Allana, pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure to meet you too Miss."

"I've heard wonderful things about you I must say."

"Oh, my. Blessed my circuits! I'm so pleased to see you both."

"I've come to seen my mother." Anakin said.

"Oh..." He was silent for a while. "I think perhaps we'd better go indoors." The protocol droid commented and guided us inside.

We walked in through a quite long staircase downwards. When we reached the bottom, a good looking young man —that was probably our age— was next to a very beautiful blonde lady, she was probably a year either younger or older than me.

"Master Owen, might I present two most important visitors." The protocol droid called their attention.

"I'm Anakin Skywalker." The Jedi in training spoke.

The guy was quiet for a moment, analyzing us from head to toe. "Owen Lars. This is my girlfriend, Beru."

"Hello." She greeted with a smile. Her blonde hair was perfectly placed on three braid buns, one at the back of her head and two small ones on each side as well.

"I'm Allana." I introduced myself when they looked at me.

"I guess I'm your stepbrother." Owen told Ani after a brief pause. "I had a feeling you might show up someday."

"Is my mother here?" Ani asked worried and desperate.

"No, she's not." The voice of a man called our attention. "Cliegg Lars." He greeted extending his hand for Anakin to shake it, and he did. "Shmi is my wife." He was sitting on a floating chair, one of his legs was cut off. "We should go inside. We have a lot to talk about."

The Lars and Beru guided us inside where they very kindly offered us some beverages and snacks as Cliegg told us everything that has happened in the past ten years. I took off my cape as I sat down next to Anakin. I was able to feel his concern, to sense his fear and worry. He had to find his mother as soon as possible.

"It was just before dawn. They came out of nowhere, a hunting party of Tusken Raiders." He told us. "Your mother had gone out early, like she always did to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporators." He paused. "From the tracks, she was about halfway home when they took her." He sighed and I could sense his pain and how his hope faded away like the air he just exhaled from his mouth. "Those Tusken walk like men, but they're vicious, mindless monsters." His eyes travelled from the cups of water before him towards Ani. "Thirty of us went out after her, four of us came back. I'd be out there with them, but after I lost my leg, I just couldn't ride until I heal." Next to me Anakin's fear just increased, he was begging in silence for him to stop so that he could go and find Shmi. I grabbed his hand underneath the table and his tensed body relaxed under my touch for a moment. "I don't want to give up on her, but she's been gone a month." My eyes then traveled from the grown up man towards Anakin. "There's little hope she's lasted this long."

Anakin's face finally told the man to stop, and seconds later he stood up from the chair, letting go of my hand slowly.

"Where are you going?" Owen asked his stepbrother.

"To find my mother." Said Skywalker, determined to bring her back home, so that he could return to his.

"Your mother's dead son, accept it." Mister Lars said and I just felt a knot being formed in my throat and stomach. My eyes traveled from Anakin's back to my hands, something deep inside me wanted to believe that Shmi could be alive, but another part just...it could be too late.

Anakin walked out of the building, and shortly after he did, I followed behind him. He was facing the horizon looking at the two suns this planet have get ready for the sunset.

When I walked out of the Lars's house entrance, Ani heard my footsteps, he turned around to face me. I was about to tell him that I'd go with him, but as if he had read my thoughts he shook his head.

"You're gonna have to stay here. These are good people Lana, you'll be safe."

"Ani." I whispered and hugged him. My hands were around his neck pulling him close, while his hands were on my waist not wanting to let go. He hid his face on my neck as I inhaled his aroma, his robes still smelled like coffee.

"I won't be long." He told me as he walked away from me to ride a speeder and start his way to save the most important person in his life. As I watched him leave with a hand placed over my chest I begged the Force to be with him as a feeling of something bad approached.

I walked in and Beru was very kind to offer me a room to get changed into comfier clothes to go to bed. I did so and placed my own blue nightgown on and a kind of sweater, —that's blue with yellow and orange touches— we could say, over it. Then I let loose my curly mane and let it fall over my shoulders.

I was unease for hours, turning around and around on bed that the Lars lended me, so I got up and walked outside. Everything was dark, but I was able to see thanks to the soft lanterns that turned un as I walked passed them. I was biting my nails as I walked around with my bare foot touching the sand.

[...]

I couldn't sleep the entire night, or maybe not so well. I remember closing my eyes and hearing Anakin, crying, pain and anger filling him up. Then I heard a lightsaber and the Tusken screaming. I opened my eyes as the feelings that the Ani of my nightmare had filled me up. His pain, his rage, his suffering and then...death. That's how I knew that something terrible had happened.

"Allana, what are you-? Are you alright?" Beru's voice that carries an incredible amount of kindness called my attention. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I-" I was sitting by the stairs waiting for him to return when my eyes closed. "It's morning already? I swear it felt like a second."

"You were here all night?"

"Apparently...I'm sorry what did you ask before?"

"Oh...if you were alright, you seemed pale and gasped as I walked in."

"I-" I cleared my throat. "I'm fine, everything's fine, thank you." I commented and finished with a smile.

"Sure thing." She told me with and smiled back.

Then, we both heard a speeder's engine echoing at the distance and I knew Ani was finally back. We all walked out to find him carrying a corpse that was carefully wrapped by a sheet. He showed no other emotion but sadness and anger. He walked passed us to a more private place for him to place his mother on to finally rest.

He dug in the sand for hours and hours until he finished a tomb for his mom, he then proceeded to place her inside and covered her body up. After that, he walked into Owen's working area to fix something that he could find, after all these years I know that's his coping mechanism, he tries to fix things when he feels that nothing can actually be fixed, not even himself. He hadn't eaten since last night, so I took him some food and drinks.

"I brought you something." I whispered placing everything down on a small table. "Are you hungry?"

I didn't get an answer until a couple seconds later. "The shifter broke." He said, totally avoiding my previous question. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things. I'm good at fixing things, always have." His voice then started to break. "But I couldn't..." He frowned as he looked at his hands, he then looked at me. His eyes were already an ocean, but now, with the tears in them made them turn into a different sea, no longer peaceful, but dangerous, and that sight made my own eyes fill up with salty water. "Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!"

He walked away, turning his back on me. "Sometimes there are things no one can fix. It wasn't your fault, and, you're not all-powerful Ani."

"Well, I should be." He said and I heard the heartbreak he was going through, man I could even sense it. "Someday, I will be...I will be the most powerful Jedi ever." He then turned around with more tears threatening to fall down his cheeks at any minute. "I promise you, I will even learn to stop people from dying."

"Anakin." I whispered, this wasn't him. This was his anger speaking, and I mean, I understand, he's in all his right to feel like this, but what he was saying was just...not him.

"It's all Obi-Wan's fault! He's jealous! He's holding me back!" He yelled trowing the tool that was on his hand to the back of the place making it clatter and making me jump. I've never seen him like this and it broke my heart, more than it already was.

"What's wrong?" I asked approaching him slowly.

"I...I killed them, I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them." He turned around and now his face was wet, his tears falling down like the waterfalls from Naboo, not stopping. "And not only the men." He shook his head, "But the women, and the children too." I felt my hands numb as well as my feet, a wave of fear just washed over me. "They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!" He sobbed, "I hate them!"

He broke and his body fell to the ground slowly until he sat down, his back was resting against the cold metal of the table. I sat down beside him as he breathed in and out trying to calm himself down.

"To be angry is to be human." I told him.

"I'm a Jedi. I know I'm better than this, but I-" He tried to speak but he sobbed instead, to devastated to continue.

"Shh." I whispered. "It's okay, she's okay now. You both are." I placed my hand on his neck and pulled him close to hug him. He needed a shoulder to let himself break on, someone to lean on. And I offered him that. We sat there for hours.

Anakin Skywalker, a guy that many people think is made out of iron was melting, he was broken. While I stroked his short hair, he placed his hand on my leg, embracing me an pulling me closer. His face was hidden on my neck again, and I was able to feel the coldness of his tears and the tickle of his warm breath on my exposed skin. Gently, I kissed the top of his head.

"It's okay Ani." I whispered. "It's okay."