It had been weeks and I hadn't seen Finn at all. Secta kept me quarantined in his house and I barely had outside contact with anyone. Cybele was the only one who could visit me with Secta by her side, his anger still brewing as he began to realize how many people had known our secret.

He wouldn't let her get even close to the topic of relationships or love when she came to visit, and the only updates she was aloud to give me were about Gabriel's recovery or how Samaria was doing. He wouldn't allow her to say a thing about Samaria and Raphael together, but if my questions didn't hint at their past relationship then it was fair game. Finn wasn't even on the table for debate.

In reality I was nearly ready to lose my mind. My pent-up energy from the lack of my old work-out routine was driving me over the edge, and spending time in Secta's gym wasn't enough. I needed someone to drill me until I was out of breath just like Raphael used to do, be able to sprint through the woods or on the track. I was running out of ways to get my energy out, and being locked in a box only made me feel more crazy.

Walking the same halls and staying in the same rooms made my jaw clench, and it set my teeth on edge, an itch running through my body for something new. I wanted something to do, something to see and to feel that wasn't meraki training or Secta's paintings. I'd seen them in a continuous loop for weeks and every time I looked at one they all appeared to have lost their appeal. I wanted to punch through each painting one by one until I felt satisfied.

But nothing I was feeling could compare to the gaping misery I felt whenever I answered the knock at my door and Finn wasn't standing there.

No matter how hard Secta tried to banish the guardian from my thoughts, he never succeeded, and I found myself thinking about him all the time. I missed him so much that it made my chest feel as though it were ready to cave in at any moment. The amount of times I'd cried were beyond my recollection, and I'd sobbed in front of Reynolds on so many occasions that he was afraid to even raise his voice at me since it might cause a meltdown.

Secta had put Reynolds back in charge of me again, and he was tolerable now that he felt the smallest wedge of pity for me. I took it that Secta had filled him in about Finn and I, because he was careful not to mention the guardian or anything pertaining to him, but he'd slip up without knowing it. He offered to take me downstairs to play a game of pool and looked horrified when I started to weep in the middle of the hallway.

Finn was everywhere in my thoughts, and the smallest things around me always brought his memory back to life inside my head. I would have killed to know the littlest details about how he was, but I was never given any. The only sour thoughts that filled my head were whenever Madeleine came to check-up on my recovery.

She'd mention him from time to time, and it took all my strength not to strangle her. Secta hadn't told Madeleine about our relationship; I could tell from how she spoke about my boyfriend that she was clueless. I didn't cry in front of her because I was closer to murdering her when she'd talk about the lunch they had or the lesson they'd co-taught together. He was in intensive therapy with one of the psychiatrists because of his trauma, and Madeleine seemed to know all the details. It made me wonder if Secta brought her in just to torment me or if he was trying to find a replacement for Finn.

The only good thing about her visits were that my injuries had healed quickly, and according to Madeleine, it was to the point of being abnormal. Secta wrote it off as a product of my meraki as beings of supreme power tended to mend their wounds much faster than average creatures.

Meraki training was going well too, and I was improving my ability to control my power quickly. Secta was overjoyed that I was finally learning something, but I knew deep down why I could channel my meraki. I was miserable and I had plainly given up; my meraki had just taken over from there after listening to me beg and cry for it to work so that some facet of my life could be easier. Secta would get off my case about my power, and I could finally find relief somewhere.

I'd earn lectures from him about how the separation was healthier for me, giving me the room to connect with my meraki. My response would be to turn around and leave the room before I did anything that I'd regret. He held my life in his hands, and if he thought I was getting better, I'd let him believe it.

My head spun as I laid in my bed, exhausted even though I'd barely done anything the whole day. What had happened to this man that had made him so against love? Losing Penelope? Cybele? Cybele's mother?

Just looking at Secta it was easy to see that the man had suffered, his inability to trust and his hardened shell clearly side effects of whatever his past had dealt him. His family had fallen apart and Fate had sent him on a hell-bent journey, one that had nearly destroyed him and one that he didn't want even me to suffer through.

The man was trying to keep his head, but the harder I thought about it the more it made sense: Secta was at the end of his wits. He looked young but on the inside he was old, tired from his life being drawn out so long. His meraki couldn't be as strong as it used to before; he lived inside his bubble and never came out of his house besides for meals where he hardly talked to anyone.

He is withdrawn from the guardians and leaveing Finn, Cybele, and Raphael to do his work. He's preparing me to take his place even in his delusional fight with himself over the matter of trusting me enough to let go.

I sat up in bed, the realization hitting me in the gut. Secta is nearly at his breaking point. He is ready to tie up loose ends before he decides that it is time to leave; he is ready to die.

Had Fate told him it was almost time to join her? Or was this his choice? Sometimes a person could only take so much, and Secta had taken more than most people could endure in a lifetime. Had he told anyone about this? Obviously not since Cybele was happy and no one else seemed ready to take on more responsibility.

Secta was going to leave his guardians, and he hadn't told them a thing about it. How could he do this to them? To Cybele? She apparently had no father most of her life, and now he was ready to die on her?

He had the audacity to threaten me and make me miserable all the while planning to kick the bucket and throw his entire army on my shoulders. He wanted me to fight all his battles for him after taking Finn and my friends away from me.

Like hell I'm letting that happen.

There was a knock at the door, making me stiffen. A golden-haired guardian flashed through my head and I flinched at the thought before calling in whoever was in the hallway.

To my surprise, a golden-haired guardian did walk inside my room, but it wasn't Finn. Cybele gave me a smile, closing the door behind her. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, crossing her wings across her back before walking towards me.

"Hey." She said softly, stopping beside my bed. Cybele looked down at me shyly, biting her lip. "How are you?"

"Fantastic." I muttered, "just amazing really. Life has never been better, truly."

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." She let out a sigh, sitting on the edge of my bed beside me.

"I miss him." I hadn't meant to say it, but her presence always seemed to coax out my feelings. From the first day I'd met Cybele, I knew I could trust her just by looking into her warm eyes.

She gazed at the floor, hands in her lap. "He misses you too."

I turned on my side to look at her, but her back was towards me, her wings fluffed out on either side of her. "Tell him that I love him and that I've been trying to talk to Secta. I have been trying, Cybele, but he just doesn't listen."

"I'm not sure if telling him that would be a good idea." She whispered, "you being gone paired with the recent ordeal with Rufus has been terribly hard on him, Kate. Me telling him that you miss him and he can't do a thing about it..."

"I understand." I said, closing my eyes. He needed me, but Secta wouldn't let me out of the fucking house.

"Secta won't come around easily on this, Kate. It would be a miracle if you could convince him that he's wrong."

"I don't understand why this is such a big deal to him. Love is love; it's beautiful. He wants to keep us both safe but can't he just see that it's only making us worse?"

Cybele said nothing, falling silent as I laid in bed with an aching heart. Her wings had started to softly twitch, her shoulders rolling forward as she cradled her head in her hands. Before I knew what was happening, I realized that I heard her sniffling.

"Cybele?" I sat up, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Are you crying?"

"Only a little." She managed to say, looking back at me. Glossy tears ran down her cheeks, and even then she still looked like a vision. "I understand your pain, Kate, and so does my father."

"What do you mean?"

"My family has been torn apart my entire life." She closed her eyes, taking a breath that looked like it nearly broke her in half. "Noxia is my mother."

I stared at her. Something inside me had wanted to guess their connection; the convenience of their lost family member who they never spoke of and the odd similarity between Cybele's blue eyes and the woman's I'd seen with Secta in my memories hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Secta doesn't want love, Kate, because his passion for my mother nearly destroyed him. They were in love and they had me, but my mother thought that I was the dark champion after listening to Draco's prophecy which was actually about Lucifer. She loved me and my father, but she set out to kill me as a baby before I could become the darkness. She fought against Secta and nearly killed him before getting rid of me, and Fate cursed her for it, turning her into who she is now. When they fought, he told her it was either killing me or being with him, and she didn't choose him. It has scarred him deeper than you'll ever know"

She sucked in a breath, and I rubbed my hand along her shoulders. Cybele blinked, more tears running down her cheeks.

"They were the ultimate love story. They'd been together for centuries, and she still didn't choose him even though she loved him. Kate, he's afraid what would happen to any of us if love wasn't enough. He's afraid of you betraying us all and destroying me, Finn, him, and all the guardians because you picked your duty over all of us. He'd rather keep you and Finn apart than let Finn follow you to his own end if you don't turn out to be who he thought you were. Loving the wrong person is so dangerous, so he'd rather get rid of love to avoid the risk."

"He thinks I'm evil, doesn't he?"

"He thinks that you don't know the world and that you could make the wrong choices, choices that could have severe consequences. Look at my mother: she thought she was saving the world by killing me and all she did was damn herself with the rest of our family. Secta knows that he can't risk you following in Noxia's footsteps." Cybele took in a breath. "All my mother wants still is to kill me, Kate. It's our curse; she'll keep killing me over and over again, and I'll still come back, reincarnating as part of Fate's punishment. She may care about the Serpent Prodigy, but she'll never feel the need to complete that plan as much as she will give into the desire to execute me."

I couldn't say a thing, no words coming from my mouth. What could I even say to that? A mother hell-bent on killing her child until time itself ended? Fates, what had Cybele done to deserve that?

"Do you want to know the worst part?" Cybele laughed, her eyes glassy. "I'm in fully, utterly, and completely in love with Nocen, Finn's brother. I love him so much, and Noxia only dangles him in front of my face to try and reel me back into hell with him."

I stared at her wide-eyed, "you're in love with Nocen? But, how did that...?"

"He wasn't always the vile demon you met outside your city, Kate." She breathed, her eyes losing focus as though she were dreaming. "Nocen was free back then to decide his own life, not the slavery Noxia put him in to keep us apart. He loves me too, but he's chained down there. Before I knew Secta was my father or that I was special at all, I lived in Opulentia with my foster mother, Parisa. She had a demon who did her bidding, and one day he sent Nocen with a few others to complete a task for Parisa: to find Penelope."

"Penelope," the pieces came together, "that's how she came into all this."

"Yes, Nocen and I with other demons went to Earth to find her because I was the Prodigy's guardian, the one who was supposed to discover her. I found Penelope, but I also found Nocen, the man under his demonic exterior. We wanted to run away together except we were torn apart. I went with Secta and Penelope, and Noxia took Nocen. I couldn't save him, and then we lost Penelope... Kate, I couldn't bear it. Secta couldn't stand what losing them did to me, and he doesn't want anything like that to happen to any of us ever again. If Noxia captured Finn..."

"No." I replied, shaking my head. "That won't happen."

"I haven't seen Nocen in over 60 years, Kate. Do you think I thought that would happen?" She whispered, now looking at me. "I've been trying to get to Nocen for so long, and I can't help him. Noxia has smothered all his memories of me, and he doesn't recognize who I am anymore. He'd turn me over to Noxia in a heartbeat, and sometimes I think one day I'll just let him."

Cybele and I gazed at one another for a moment. She was still crying, silent as she looked into my eyes. I rested my forehead against her shoulder, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks as we contemplated an unfair world.